By Guest Blogger Jackson Dean
As I write this, Blog, Publications Club, and Book Club are traveling to Los Angeles on a field trip to The Last Bookstore. They will be in LA for the entire day. As I write this, I understand, for the first time in my life, the feeling of loneliness. The members of the class and clubs are my go-to, my emotional support, the type of friends that are there for you always. I’m attached to them, probably in an unhealthy way, but nonetheless attached. For the first time, none of them are here to talk to, to laugh with, to enjoy each other’s company. For the first time, I feel like I have, in all honesty, no one. I am alone. I have no voice, no confidence. My cheery disposition is currently vacant as it searches for something to give, but to no avail. I never understood just how much these people mean to me, until this moment, this moment of gray, this moment of quiet, this moment of loneliness. As I look at this moment, I am brought to another moment that has yet to come. Another moment where this loneliness will occur, but hasn’t yet–
June, 2019–When my class, my brothers and sisters since Kindergarten, will throw off their caps with me as we leave our high school careers and start another life, away from each other. June, 2019–When I hug my go-to’s from lower grades for the last time. June, 2019–When the people that gave me a voice, that gave me confidence, will no longer be a part of my life. June, 2019, and possibly for a long time afterwards–When this feeling of loneliness will sink in once more and tug at my heart as it does now.
I love all of you. From the bottom of my heart, I truly, wholeheartedly love you. Whether you are in my class of 2019, or 2020, or 2021, I think of you as my brother or sister. I am nothing without you. You make me something. You give me that voice. You give me that confidence. You make me who I am, and I will never forget that.
Editor: Claire Jenkins
Jackson, My Jackson,
A beautifully touching description
Of an all -too-familiar human condition.
When coping with loneliness, I rely on the last-line refrain
of a song that comforted me in My student days and still does today:
If you’re down and confused
And you don’t remember who you’re talking to
Concentration slipped away
Because your go-to’s are so far away
Well there’s a rose in a fisted glove
And the eagle flies with the dove
And if you can’t be with the one you love,
“HONEY, LOVE THE ONE YOU’RE WITH!”