What is the secret to relationships that last over 20 years?

By 7th-Grade Bloggers Soleil Antle and Morgan Richardson

We’ve been thinking about relationships. We thought the real experts of relationships are the ones that are in them–not just a high school boyfriend/girlfriend or even newlyweds–but more so people who have been through it all with over 20 years of relationship experience. Our parents, Jim and Elizabeth Richardson, Paul and Renee Antle, and Morgan’s family friends Ted and Kate, were the perfect candidates for interviewing on the subject of lasting relationships.

–Soleil and Morgan

My parents, Paul and Renee Antle, have been together for 35 years. When wondering how they knew their partner was “the one,” my mom Renee replied, “I knew he was the one because he was kind, and super intelligent, and taught me how to laugh again.” When an argument occurs between the two, they try to understand what may have caused the fight, and try to take responsibility if they were hurtful or in the wrong. Mom and Dad say the secret to a long-lasting relationship is “Honesty” and “patience.”  Dad said, “Don’t expect perfection; that’s not what marriage is.”

–Soleil Antle

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My parents, Jim and Elizabeth Richardson, have been married for 20 years, and have two daughters, Louisa and me. Dad, when asked, “How did you know your partner was the one?”  responded, “She embodied all the things that I wanted in one person.” When in a disagreement, they give each other some quiet time and try to put themselves in their partner’s shoes. Mom, when asked for relationship advice, responded, “Pick your battles; don’t ever think you can change someone.” Mom and Dad said the secret to a happy marriage is “Forgiveness.” 

–Morgan Richardson

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We interviewed Richardson family friends, Kate and Ted, who have shared their love for 45 years. Kate exclaimed, “That’s 315 dog years!” We saw how much they mean to each other. Ted said he knew Kate was the one at age 27 because he only felt happy and healthy around her. Kate explained what getting over arguments takes.  “Getting over arguments takes compromise, and also, understanding that the other person isn’t wrong; she/he feels differently about the issue and sees things differently. That takes a long time to develop and understand.” The two said, “Do not lose your temper; that’s really scary for the other person. And, don’t live beyond your means because that one thing alone can put stress on everything else in a marriage.”

–Morgan and Soleil 

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After reviewing the knowledge from these three couples, we have learned that relationships take effort to be successful. Both partners need to support each other and work as a team, especially when children are involved.

Inspired by these heartwarming responses, Morgan created a love poem. 

I love you, he said,

A big heart painted red

A white gown and golden rings,

Wedding band, one blue thing.

Patient and kind

Love never died.

In sickness and in health,

Your love is my greatest wealth.

My heart will always be with you,

My cheeks turn a red hue.

I love you, he said,

Together forever and till the end