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The Bird is the Word: Sophisticated Schoolyard Shenanigans

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Top 25 Buffy the Vampire Slayer Episodes: Countdown #11-25

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By Leo Milmet, Buffy the Vampire Fanatic

Warning: There are spoilers for all 7 seasons of Buffy The Vampire Slayer in this post. Also, this post is designed for people who are very familiar with the series–there will be references to certain scenes, lines, etc. that simply may not make sense if you aren’t at least a casual fan of Buffy. That said, on with the post.

 

Buffy the Vampire Slayer is the most amazing television show ever to grace the small screen (and therefore, us) with its presence. In honor of its glory, and honestly just because I love it so so incredibly much, I wanted to list my top 25 favorite episodes. However, I have so much material here that I have decided to separate it into two posts. Here is #25-#11. Log in next week for the top ten Buffy episodes ever.

 

#25. “After Life” (Season 6, Episode 3) — This episode is both terrifying and emotional, fun and profound, bitter and sweet. And I always tear up a bit during Buffy’s conversation with Spike. That moment is perfection.

 

  1. “Selfless” (Season 7, Episode 5) — Anya is a great character, and her unique disconnection with humanity and traditional morality is showcased in “Selfless” more than in any other episode.

 

  1. “The Wish” (Season 3, Episode 10) — Cordelia (stereotypical popular girl)  has always been a hilarious character, but I think this might be one of her greatest moments. Her superficiality in wishing that Buffy had never come to Sunnydale is believable, and I love Vampire Willow and Vampire Xander. Points off for using the clichéd “be careful what you wish for” story technique, but it more than makes up for it with its unique dystopia and hilarity. Anya’s demon face still haunts my dreams.

 

  1. “Tabula Rasa” (Season 6, Episode 8) — GILES, GILES! The characters’ amnesia creates so many hilarious jokes; i.e. there’s a “loan shark” shark paid off with kittens. It’s wonderful seeing the characters act like I would (e.g. being terrified of and running away from the vampires) as opposed to their usual immense bravery and courage.

 

  1. “Dead Things” (Season 6, Episode 13) illustrates the horrible power of false guilt.

 

  1. “Band Candy” (Season 3, Episode 6) — This episode’s character-based zaniness is hilarious. I love how turning the adult characters into their teenage selves ties into the main plot of The Mayor’s attempt to take over Sunnydale. The incredible chemistry between Joyce and Giles is honestly the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen in a ‘90s network TV show–except maybe the Buffy and Angel relationship in season two, or Xander and Faith in “The Zeppo.” But y’all get my point.

 

  1. “Villains” (Season 6, Episode 20) — This great episode, while by no means perfect, makes you think and ask yourself, “How far is too far?” “What actions are truly irredeemable?” and, “Is murderous revenge justifiable?” The episode does all of this while being one of the most action-packed episodes of the series, with a villain made only more terrifying as she morphs from soft-spoken nerd to vengeful grieving murderess.

 

  1. “The Replacement” (Season 5, Episode 3) — Xander is one of the most nuanced characters in the series. He is warm, funny, and humorous but with an awesome subtle-but-serious dark side, and this episode knows exactly how to deconstruct such a character. He is literally shown his potential as he gradually grows into a self-confident man in every sense of the word. That’s Xander’s arc throughout the series, growing up, and this episode shows that more than any other.

 

  1. “The Zeppo” (Season 3, Episode 13) — Another end of the world is gonna happen from some demon group or another. Excuse me while I channel Vampire Willow and say, “Bored now.” Oh, wait, even the writers know that, so they decided to make the “B” plot the “A” plot by focusing on Xander’s encounter with a group of undead psychos. And, I know it sounds lame, but anyone who’s seen it knows how awesome it is. And that ending? One of the best in the series.

 

  1. “Prophecy Girl” (Season 1, Episode 12) — I can’t imagine what people in 1997 thought of this episode. Just imagine this: you’re tuning into your favorite Monday-night schlock horror show, the ridiculously-titled (and, at the time, rather ridiculous) Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which has potential to become a really good series, but it never (yet) really gets there, and you kinda like its cheesy grade-B horror vibes. Then you see THIS EPISODE, and Buffy completely changes. Sarah Michelle Gellar is one of the greatest actresses of the ‘90s. I see you all laughing at this statement as I write it, but, my God, it’s true. The rawness of her emotion when talking to Giles about her imminent death is priceless, and the use of the Buffy theme music just makes you wanna get up and scream: “HELL YEAH!”

 

  1.  “Storyteller” (Season 7, Episode 16) — The biggest issue with Season 7 is its unfocused-ness. The introduction of too many “Potentials” always rubbed me the wrong way. But, this episode shows that Buffy will always be able to do right by its most important and interesting characters. I mean, come on, this episode is just one long running joke about the ridiculousness of Andrew Wells’ character, and it works so well. It’s funny, charming, and in the end, deeply, deeply moving. It’s about redemption and faith and the influence of The Blair Witch Project on modern horror and love and sacrifice and the awesomeness (and not-so-awesomeness) of nerd-dom.

 

  1. “Grave” (Season 6, Episode 22) — I got two words for ya. Yellow. Crayon. This episode had me bawling the first couple times I watched it, and I rarely cry in movies or TV. Xander’s monologue is one of the greatest scenes ever to be shown on television. The way the writers have, from the first episode, built up to that one moment in both of these characters’ lives is truly epic. While the rest of the episode is great but not truly on the level of the others you’re about to see, the “yellow crayon” monologue is, for me, maybe the greatest moment in all of Buffy.

 

  1. “Normal Again” (Season 6, Episode 17) — This episode is freaky. Buffy is tempted with the chance to live in a fantasy that, compared to her real world, is a paradise. She is presented with the chance to NOT be the “chosen one.” This has been her biggest internal long-term goal since the first season. Though she obviously accepts her calling, she doesn’t truly want to give up her life for a cause that is bigger than her (she merely deems it a necessary sacrifice). And here, she may have a chance at being “Normal Again,” and it’s tempting. It really is. But this episode is about waking up, and facing the true trials, tribulations, and horrors of what the real world presents, refusing to live in a fantasy.

 

  1. “I Only Have Eyes For You” (Season 2, Episode 19) — First of all, a round of applause for the beginning of the career of the great John Hawkes. Second of all, James is one of the greatest one-off villains ever. There’s a James in all of us, even in those who hate him most. He wants to be loved and can’t find a way to properly and appropriately express his love, so that love turns to hate. What could be more tragically relatable? Also incredibly well-done is Giles’s totally illogical (and yet so fitting of a man in true love) desperation to believe that the spirit possessing the school is that of Jenny Calendar, his now-dead love interest. And that ending is so bittersweet and moving, simultaneously reminding us even more of the noble, tragically heroic Angel of the past and the stomach-churning new reign of Angelus, brought forth by none other than our heroine, Buffy Summers.

 

  1. “Chosen” (Season 7, Episode 22) — These characters have come so far and done so much over these crazy seven years. Only when one considers the Buffy, Xander, Willow, and Giles from “Welcome to the Hellmouth” and then considers the moment this same gang facing the literal Big Bad of all Big Bads (the First Evil) does one understand the epically rich characters of this series. This episode has some incredibly character-rich moments like the First Evil’s midnight taunting sessions, Xander’s great line “That’s my girl. Always making the stupid decision,’ and of course that little smile on Buffy’s face at the very end that indicates that Buffy finally is NOT the “chosen one,” the “one girl in all the world.” In “Chosen,” Buffy has gone from her “chosen one” status into one empowered woman, who can bring one glimmer of hope for the survival of humanity and its vanquish over evil. Her character arc is now complete, and in the end, just like in one of the fairy tales she’d probably (and rightfully so) call lame and sexist, this TV scream-princess finally gets what she wants (to regain a “normal life”). This, while imperfect, is an incredibly satisfying conclusion.

 

Stay tuned for the top ten Buffy episodes, which will be revealed soon in a future post!

 

Editor: Holden Hartle

Go See It.

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By Makena Behnke

In Palm Valley’s production of The Drowsy Chaperone, we see quick changes, strong voices, and monkeys. The main character, Janet, played by both Marianne Capetz and Kaiya Treash, is portrayed as a bodacious movie star who retires into marriage. Charles Schnell plays Janet’s fiance, Robert. Robert is totally lovestruck by his gorgeous girl. Every musical number (and there are a lot) causes very powerful and strong emotions, especially the “Aldolpho” number. Jake Sonderman plays “lady killer” Aldolpho who accidentally seduces Jackson Dean, the Chaperone. The storyline goes many different ways and adds to the comedy (look out for the irony coming from Leo Milmet). Taking place in the 1920s, I’m confident in saying the hair and makeup of the play are definitely important aspects of the show. Back then, thin and dark brows, pouty heart lips, and perfectly pinned and slicked back hair was the most popular look. Every character is perfectly put together; outfits are colorful; and attitudes are sickly sweet. Our dear Janet, while in conflict with herself, sings a lovely song about her love for a monkey. Everyone in the cast executes the music perfectly. There is a range of different characters–from the ditsy Kitty, played by Caroline Scheil, to dramatic Marianne and Kaiya’s Janet. I highly recommend The Drowsy Chaperone to anyone who enjoys a good laugh and/or chills when grand musical numbers occur.

 

Editor: Holden Hartle

 

Ode to “Bohemian Rhapsody”

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By Holden Hartle

 

Queen has been in the media a lot recently, largely due to the movie Bohemian Rhapsody that came out last month. Since the release of the movie, Queen seems to be all that most music critics are talking about–a bit of a blast from the past. The song “Bohemian Rhapsody” is something where everyone goes, “Oh yeah, that’s a good song.” But, how did the song come to be?

The recent movie explains that after Queen released their first album, Freddie Mercury wanted to do something big and different, combining the vocal extremities of opera and the punchiness of rock n’ roll. And, after a long period of time composing in the country, the song was complete.

There was a lot of debate over whether or not “Bohemian Rhapsody” should be released as a single, as the song is almost six minutes in length. The record company was worried that the song was too long and that maybe it was a bit too avant garde. Needless to say, the song was released and was a huge hit. Its uniqueness is something that still strikes people today.

But what if the song was never released? Personally, I think the song is the work of a musical genius. This song fuses balladic lyrics with hard rock instruments, and operatic vocals. Yet, somehow, with all of these contrasting parts that dip into different genres, the song still remains coherent, and something that most people can immediately recognize from the piano introduction. But what if the song was never given the recognition? It is very possible that if Mercury wasn’t so adamant on the song being released as a single, it would have just been released as a part of the album and overlooked by a lot of people. Only the more hardcore fans would have listened to the song, because let’s be honest, even I only know Queen’s greatest hits.

It is kind of heartbreaking to think of a world without that song. Last year I went to a Green Day concert, and the introduction went like this. All the fans are talking to each other and suddenly, the lights go out. Then, in darkness, “Bohemian Rhapsody” plays before the band enters the stage. I was astonished as what seemed like every person in the stadium knew every word to the ballad. During the concert itself, Billie Joe Armstrong uses many of the crowd-hyping methods that Freddie Mercury did, i.e. the call and response method of singing a riff and having the crowd sing it back to you.

But now, back to the song at hand. Imagine creating a song with so much influence that a band from decades in the future will play your song in tribute, and that hundreds of thousands of people will be singing this ballad like it’s a hymn. But now imagine if that song was never released. Sure, life would go on, but only a select few would know of this fantastic song and its beauty.

The song deserves all of the media attention that it is currently receiving. The song has had several resurgences to the top of the charts, and, in my personal opinion, the song should remain on the charts for all time. “Bohemian Rhapsody” is so forward-thinking and is definitely unique from most other rock n’ roll ballads. “Bohemian Rhapsody” is truly beautiful.

Editor: Leo Milmet

Pizza: It’s A Superfood

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By Luke Langlois, Pizza Enthusiast

 

There are many things that people need to do to maintain the strength of their frail bodies. The most important, as well as difficult, aspect of everyone’s health is their diet. Today, I am offering up a quick strategy to overcome the challenge of consuming healthy meals. Just eat pizza!

According to most qualified people, healthy eating is defined as consuming a variety of foods with a variety of proteins, carbohydrates, and other nutrients with complicated names (calor-WHAT?). The same qualified people typically say that a healthy diet includes the following:  grains, fruits, vegetables, dairies, and meats. Pizza includes all of these things. Let us dive deeper.

The crust is the base of all pizza. Without crust, you have a gloomy, unstructured pile of cheese, sauce, and whatever else you decide to put on your pizza. Without crust, there is no pizza. Besides delivering the delectable tastes to our buds, the crust is a grain, one of the essential food groups. So it begins. Pizza includes one of the five essential food groups.

The tomato sauce is what separates breadsticks from pizza. Any real pizza connoisseur will tell you that the sauce makes or breaks a pizza. Without sauce, again, there is no pizza. Though, more importantly, the sauce is the source of the fruit group. Some people consider tomatoes a fruit, others a vegetable. Either way, it’s essential to your health. I personally recommend that you consider the tomato sauce a fruit. It is much more difficult to add an obscure fruit to your pizza than it is a small vegetable. Regardless, it is now evident that pizza includes THREE of the five essential food groups.

When people think of dairy, they think of cows. When they think of cows, they think of milk, cheese, ice cream, yogurt, or angry vegetarians. Now, here’s a challenge: which of these items is found on our pizza? It’s cheese. Cheese, the expensive fur coat of all pizzas, is another food that is proven to bring you to a state of well-being. It also brings us one group closer to the mythical promised land of five food groups.

Pizza sounds like a superfood already, but it gets better. There are a million different types of meat that can be put on a pizza. Typically, there’s pepperoni, sausage, or ham. But, you do not necessarily have to be typical. Who knows, maybe a nice filet mignon would be a fine pizza topping. Whatever meat you choose to top your pizza with, this final piece of the puzzle proves that pizza is indeed, a superfood.

Eating healthy may appear to be difficult, but the solution is simple. No longer will you have to endlessly browse superfluous social media accounts searching for an impossible meal plan. Just eat pizza. Your cells will thank you.

Editor: Leo Milmet

Kite

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By Jeremy Cheng, Poet Extraordinaire

 

I am a kite;

You are a kite holder.

You release the string and let me fly higher.

The wind blows;

I enjoy the breeze.

Suddenly, a strong wind comes from behind,

And you, afraid the string will break,

Pull the string back and make sure that I will not fly away.

Every time you support me,

I hope the string will not break

Because I love the feeling of you holding on.

 

Editor: Leo Milmet

How can I make videos like Jeremy?

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Want to make videos like Jeremy’s? Watch, and read.

 

By Blogger-Videographer Jeremy Chang

 

First, you need to take two videos.

The first video involves standing in front of the mirror and acting like you are looking for an item; then, you stand up, look into the mirror, and pretend that you are frightened and pass out.

The second video starts when you come up from the floor. It shows yourself inside the mirror and staring at yourself. You do whatever you want that is different from the first video! (Make sure the video is long enough.)

Second, download the app (Videoleap) from the App store on your phone.

Open Videoleap and press the “+” button and add the first video. Then press the “mix” button on the left corner which will lead you to add the second video.

Lower the second video’s “Opacity,” and adjust the second video to the first video such as lining up the mirror.

Next, you need to press “Mask” on the fourth button and choose “Linear” to hide the second video’s person who stands outside the mirror.

 

 

Do this, and you’ll have a video as eye-catching as Jeremy’s–although . . . he’s left a few secrets out to preserve his artistic signature.

 

Editor: Makena Behnke

2018 Palm Valley School Pride

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By AJ Patencio

On November 4th, Palm Springs held its 32nd annual Palm Springs Pride Parade, and the PVS Gender Sexuality Acceptance (GSA) Club was there to represent our loving community. We were put in spot 79 and given a banner with a colorful take on the Palm Valley Firebird logo. I was one of the GSA members who joined them, and it was an amazing experience to march through the streets while surrounded by my friends. I’m glad to have experienced it in my senior year before I go off to college. However, it’s not my first time participating in the Safe Schools march at the Palm Springs Pride Parade.

During my freshman year, before PVS had a GSA club, I was one of the only openly gay students in the Upper School. Our English teacher at the time, Mr. Griffin, had talked with the advisor for Palm Spring High School’s GSA club and received permission to send any of our students who wanted to participate in the Pride Parade with them. He handed out flyers, but I was the one student from our school who actually went. I was dropped off near the parade and had to walk alone to meet with the PSHS group, and I knew none of them. I was an alone 14 year old surrounded by people I didn’t know in a loud and crowded place. It was a memorable experience, but not in a good way.

This year was different. I’m 17 now. I was with friends and people I knew and trusted. I was never alone and  always easy to find, as I had a giant rainbow umbrella that unintentionally attacked anyone who got too close. We had school GSA shirts and many rainbow-colored tattoos. I learned of a certain teacher’s habit of putting empty gift cards in his wallet. I ate greasy pizza with my friends as we laughed at a cringy pamphlet. I met enthusiastic parents that were proud of what their kids were doing. I got to have an amazing experience that I won’t forget. I felt happy with who I am, and I’m glad that others will be able to experience this in the future.

Editor: Holden Hartle

The Easy Solution to the Partisan Problem

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By Political Commentator-Blogger Luke Langlois

The United States, like always, is divided. There is quite the ideological split between “red” and “blue,” Democrat and Republican. Democrats tend to dislike Republicans and vice versa. Optimistic citizens seem to believe that the issue of division will resolve itself and patriotism will reign supreme. This will never happen. Therefore, I offer a simple solution: split the country.

So, if political parties seem to believe that they can run the country better, they should prove it! First, as democracy is very important, there will be a vote in every state. People will vote on what party they want their state to be governed by. The winning party will be the only party allowed to govern the state for the period of the split. For the sake of consistency, there will be third parties on the ballot. Though, we all know how successful third parties are. After the vote has happened, there should be a relatively even split between Democratic and Republican states. Now, I will address all of your questions. Yes, all of them. First, I must address the issue of the United States territories and Washington D.C. The United States territories will be auctioned off to other countries to help pay the national debt. Washington D.C. will be airlifted, via helicopter, to a safe location, probably Canada. Now that that simple issue has been dealt with, let’s dive into the logistics.

The country will be split for a period of 50 years. Both groups will receive their own federal government modeled after the former United States federal government. Then, the governance will BEGIN! The states shall govern themselves for this period of 50 years. After the period of 50 years, a winner will be chosen and the winning party will govern the United States for the rest of her days. There will be a highly complex process for choosing the winner. First, political figures from each side will be dropped into the ocean and will fight to the death with water guns. Then, the two groups will be measured side by side with a variety of factors. We’ll get an unbiased allied country to look at GDP, unemployment rate, overall happiness levels, et cetera. The winner will be determined by the latter factors. In the extremely unlikely case of a tie, the party with the most survivors from the ocean battle will run the country.

After a winner is determined, Washington D.C. will be retrieved from Canada, again with a helicopter, and governance will go back to normal, except there will be only one party controlling the United States. One day, I hope this dream will be realized.

Editor: Makena Behnke

The Peasant and The Devil–A Fairy Tale Re-Telling

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Retold By Harlow Berny

Centuries ago, in a long forgotten kingdom, there was a foresighted and crafty peasant renowned for his trickery. The best story of his clever deception was when he made a deal with the devil and pulled the wool over his eyes. The peasant had been working in his field all day, and as he readied to journey back home with twilight setting in, he saw a pile of burning coals lying in the middle of the field. As he got closer, he was astonished to find a small black devil sitting on the pile, grinning with its golden teeth.

“Why are you sitting in that fire?” the peasant asked.

“I’m guarding my treasure,” responded the devil; “it has more gold and silver than you’ve ever seen in your life.”

The peasant thought for a bit, before saying, “If this treasure lies in my field, then it belongs to me. It’ll more than make up for the crops you’ve burned.” He gestured to the ashes and blackened leaves surrounding the coals.

“It’s yours, if you give me half of everything your field grows for two years. I have plenty of money hidden around the world, but I have a desire for the fruits of the earth.”

“Fine,” said the peasant, “but so no disputes arise about the division, everything above ground shall be yours, and everything below shall be mine.”

The peasant and the devil agreed to these terms, with the devil believing he had gotten the better end. What he didn’t know, however, was that the peasant had sown turnips.

When a year had passed and the devil came again, the devil found nothing but withered leaves, while the delighted peasant dug up his turnips. “You’ve bested me this time,” said the devil, “but next year it won’t happen again. What grows above ground shall be yours, and what’s under shall be mine.” The peasant agreed to this, but when he sowed his crops, he used wheat seeds instead of turnip. The grain grew ripe, and the peasant cut the stalks down to the dirt. When the devil came once more, he found nothing but stubble and roots, and stomped off in a fury. “This might be my greatest trick yet!” shouted the peasant as he carried away his wheat and treasure.

 

Editor: Luke Langlois

A Re-Telling of Grimm’s

never seeing Her again

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By poet-blogger Leo Milmet

 

“i’ve seen too many Nicholas Sparks movies to be affected by

Our inevitable breakup,” i thought.

until this moment, that is. now it definitely affects me.

i don’t care what i said before.

it was utterly ridiculous to even think such a thing.

a golden-hearted, perfect Human sits by me.

i softly hold Her head to my chest.

this is the last time i ever get to do that.

tomorrow, i leave for the golden coast, for sunny California.

i’ve been there before, and it ain’t half as golden as She is.

She sits in silence; a silence i‘m not willing to break, not for the life of me.

what could i say? she’s my first love, has been for two years.

i might never see Her again.

She leaves tomorrow too, but for Pennsylvania;

there’s actually a chance that i will never again see Her;

i’m just sitting here absorbing that painful fact, kissing Her head.

i wish this truly Perfect Moment would never end, but it will.

it will.

 

what should i say?

“i love You?”

i do love Her, and i’ve said so countless times today.

She’s my best Friend, my favorite Person.

and nothing i could say or do or think or feel could take away the not-so-small pain of tonight,

the pain that comes before the first day of the rest of my life,

the pain that i will feel from never seeing Her again.

 

Editor: AJ Patencio