the bird on fire

The Bird is the Word: Sophisticated Schoolyard Shenanigans

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Powered by Genesis

How to Always Win at Monopoly

October 11, 2022 by szachik@pvs.org Leave a Comment

By Junior Indy Behr

I asked the Blog Staff to share their special skills. Indy, unbeknownst to most of us, is a skilled Monopoly player and student of the game. If he pulls a Monopoly board out during Scarefest, think twice before accepting his challenge to play.

Blog Advisor Zachik

I am an avid fan of Monopoly. I have over 20 sets and have many strategies to help me win. Keep in mind that a lot of people use “house rules” when playing, but this article will go with the assumption that you will be playing by the true rules. This means no Free Parking Money, and no getting extra money for landing on Go. I am going to show you how to create a housing shortage, how to stay in jail for your own benefit, why railroads are not good, and why rolling a seven is so important.

The Housing Shortage Strategy

creativerealypartners.com

One of my favorite strategies for winning at Monopoly is the housing shortage strategy. Now you have to really nitpick the rules to discover this one, but it’s very effective. If you get two full-color sets of a property, I say that you should always buy four houses, and do not upgrade to a hotel. This is because in order to build a hotel, you need four houses, and those houses need to be physically present. As such, if you have two full-color sets, you can build 24 houses when only 32 come in the box. This means that no matter how many color sets another player gets, they can only build up to eight houses or one hotel. You’ve created a housing shortage, to your advantage.

The Jail Strategy

insider.com

This one apparently is pretty popular among professional Monopoly players, but I figured this one out on my own. By letting other players go three times while you avoid ever having to hit any of their properties, you can both save and make a hefty amount of money. Though some house rules freeze imprisoned players’ assets, this is not actually a rule. This means that if you stay in jail, you can get potentially thousands of dollars from other players while you never even move. There is, however, one flaw to this method: you are forced to roll each time the dice come to you, and if you roll a double, you will be forced against your will to leave jail rather than paying $50 at the end of your sentence.

Utilities and Railroads

Many people don’t know this one, but utilities are pretty much never worth your time, and it’s often the same with railroads. A world Monopoly champion has stated that there is only a 3% chance that someone is actually going to make a profit off of these properties. After all, with utilities, the maximum you can get is $120 when it costs $300. With railroads, it is incredibly difficult to make a profit. If you only get one, you need someone to land on it eight times to break even. If you have two, you still need eight. And, you can’t build houses or hotels on them!  

The Rule of Seven

orientaltrading.com

I found this strategy probably five years ago, and though it only works in specific circumstances, this trick has easily become my favorite of them all. I am not a math expert by any means, but what I do know is that when rolling two six-sided dice, you are most likely to roll a seven. This is where this strategy comes into play. If someone is exactly seven spaces away from a property of yours with a color set, move every house to it immediately. You can switch it back right after, but this gives you a high probability of draining all of their money.  You can also use this trick to your advantage in other ways, like not buying something significant if you are seven spaces away from a $200 tax. 


So, now you know a few surefire ways to beat your opponents the next time you play a game of Monopoly.

Monopoly anyone?

Filed Under: Advice, Entertainment Tagged With: How to Always Win at Monopoly, Indy Behr

Eating Healthy

October 6, 2022 by szachik@pvs.org Leave a Comment

In answering “How to Live a Healthy Life,” thebirdonfire.org staffers offer a few health hacks. Penny suggests we (sadly) put down the sour-cream-and-onion chips and pick up an apple or two.

By Penny Andreas, 7th grader

Fries, burgers, pizza, ice cream–these foods are so delicious, but there is one bad side to them….They are terrible for your health. Though they are tasty and hard to resist, it’s important to know what happens when you eat unhealthy foods. 

Healthy Diets

To be healthy, you don’t need to be skin-and-bone thin or be on a Keto diet. It just means getting the right nutrients for your body. Since bodies are constantly working, it really is important that you pay attention to what you eat. Harmful foods that have high sodium can give you intense headaches, migraines, acne, and more. Instead of eating junk all day, think of eating two or three servings of “growing food.” Growing food is literally things that have nutrients you need to survive–such as vitamins and minerals. 

Why is it Important to Eat Well?

Eating healthy is important because certain foods make natural “shields” to other diseases like cancer, heart disease, and diabetes. Eating well also provides a good boost to life. Technically, you can live longer when healthy, and you also can be more active. Not only does eating healthy make you feel good physically, it also makes you feel good mentally. Your brain naturally releases happy hormones, but it can be quickly altered by junkie foods. 

Things to Eat

When I get home from school, most of the time I’m very hungry, and I reach for the chips and candy. Thanks to my mom, I know now that there are much better options to eat. For example, nuts and granola are way more nutritious than the good ol’ sour-cream-and-onion chips. For breakfast, yogurt, granola, and fruit are delicious AND nutritious. When you’re eating a sandwich for lunch, a good side is some fruit and popcorn. Popcorn is actually good for you, just minus the extra butter, salt, and additional candy. 

healthline.com

As you can see, eating healthy is a natural requirement of life, and it is important to watch what goes in your body. This doesn’t mean you have to be vegan or what not; it just means don’t eat junk food your whole life. An apple a day, really does keep the doctor away. 

Filed Under: Advice, Food, Health and Disease, Uncategorized Tagged With: Eating Healthy, Penny Andreas

What the flute?

October 6, 2022 by szachik@pvs.org Leave a Comment

By 7th-Grader Penny Andreas

I’ve come to learn our PVS bloggers are skilled in surprising arenas: fencing, appearing to listen without truly listening (teachers and parents, take note), winning at Monopoly always. Penny, we come to find out, has been playing the flute for years. She shares with us the history and basics of making beautiful sounds come out of this reedy instrument.

Blog Advisor Zachik

Flutes are one of the earliest known instruments. There is record of them back in Germany over 35,000 years ago. Many cultures and traditions have their own style and version of flute playing. One of the oldest traditional flutes is the Japanese Shakuhachi.

The Shakuhachi

A Shakuhachi is a very ancient Japanese and Chinese flute. It is a wide, end-blown flute that is made out of madake bamboo with five finger holes. The bamboo flute was made in Japan in the 16th century, and it was called Fuke Shakuhachi. It was used often when meditating. Not many people play the Shakuhachi nowadays, but there are many soundtracks and songs that incorporate this peaceful flute. Try listening to Shakuhachi Japanese Bamboo Flute Meditation & Relaxation Music.

Western Concert Flute

This flute is very well known in places like the U.S. It is usually referred to simply as “the flute.” Western Concert Flutes are very common and are used as beginning instruments for bands. These flutes are mainly made out of metal, but really expensive ones can be gold or copper. The Western Concert Flute is again a very old flute. Did you know that George Washington, James Madison, and Leonardo da Vinci played the flute? (earlylightmusic.weebly)

I have been playing the flute for two years now. I started when I was 10, joining my school band. About three months in, I started to take lessons. My teacher taught me so many “flute hacks” and helped me become confident with my flute playing and performing. I was very self-conscious about my performance, until I did my first one. Hearing the trombones and all of the other instruments behind me was thrilling, and playing along, hearing the notes in symphony, was beautiful. (The celebration at the end was exciting, too.) 

Penny Andreas

Beginner Basics

    Now that you know at least some background on the flute, these are the first things to know when you are playing the flute. The flute can be very complicated. Playing the flute relies on moving your hands without seeing them. Want to play the flute? Make sure you have a lot of time because flute playing can be hard to master and learn.

The Three Main Parts

    One important thing about playing is setting up. The common flute has three parts: the head, the body, and the bottom. The head is obviously at the top, the body in the middle, and the bottom at the bottom. You can simply put these pieces together by just connecting them through the holes.

quora.com

Position

    Most people think that there is no wrong way to handle the flute. This is wrong. There is a special order to place your hands so you can reach all of the finger holes to create different notes. You always want your left hand holding the upper body, and facing behind you. Your right hand however will hold the lower part of the body AND the bottom. This hand should be facing in front of you. If you are sitting or standing while playing,  make sure that your back is straight. If you are slouching, it can affect your breathing and will make playing much harder.

Making a Sound

    When you first get your flute, trust me, you will automatically want to make noise. To be able to do this, you will need to know the key parts to making beautiful noise. Number one is your embouchure. This fancy word embouchure actually just means your mouth shape. This is very important because you simply can’t make a sound by just making a random circle shape with your mouth. A simple way to describe your embouchure is making your mouth look like you are about to whistle. Then slightly curve the ends of your mouth. This is what an embouchure for the flute should look like.

drcatesflutetips.wordpress.com

* * * * *

    Now that you get the basic idea of flute playing, I recommend taking lessons or watching YouTube tutorials. For taking lessons, I would choose Amanda Barro. Even though she is in Idaho, she is a great teacher. You can work with her via Zoom or Facetime. For YouTube videos, you could watch basically anyone; they should all help you. A good site to start with is, Dr. Selfridge’s Flute Tutorials @ drselfridgemusic.com. I know flute playing requires a lot to take in, but it is definitely worth it. Playing the flute can calm you and is a great subject for bragging!

Filed Under: Advice, Learned Something New, Music Tagged With: Penny Andreas, What the flute?

See With A Good Eye!

October 5, 2022 by szachik@pvs.org Leave a Comment

As we closed out September, the Blog Staff examined health issues. Alyna plans on doing something in Ophthalmology when she gets older. The eyes fascinate her that much. She feels the eyes are very important in the human body and to our existence. 

By Junior Alyna Rei

Our eyes are what help us humans see everything in the world. The eyes help the brain tell what kind of objects or other artifacts we are looking at. If our other senses are disabled, our eyes can still help us see what can put us in danger. Since the eyes are so important in our everyday lives, I will give you some tips on how to keep our eyes healthy and ready to see the world.

Blogger Indy Behr volunteered his eyes for this post.

Wear sunglasses:

I do this every time I go outside when it is very sunny. I try to find sunglasses that will protect me from the harsh sun. UV (ultraviolet) radiation from the sun might harm your eyes if you don’t use the proper sunglasses. Your risk of cataracts and macular degeneration increases with excessive UV exposure. Ideally, your sunglasses should block 99% to 100% of UVA and UVB radiation (webmd.com). Your eyes are better shielded from the sun by wraparound lenses. Be aware; when reducing glare while driving, polarized lenses–which are not always UV protectant–don’t always provide sufficient protection. 

Do not look at a screen for too long:

These days, looking at a screen is a very common habit. Even I fall into this habit often. When you look at a screen for too long, your eyes can strain, dry up, and can give you blurry vision. When I do look at a screen, I try to look away from the screen every 10 minutes for at least 30 seconds. You can also get glasses specifically for the screens. Some people use blue-light glasses. I have a pair. I feel the glasses lessen the effect of eye strain. The last thing that you can do if you’ve been staring at a screen for hours is blink a couple of times. If this doesn’t help, you can also use artificial tears, aka eye drops.

Go see your eye doctor:

It is always important to get a check up regularly  with your eye doctor. Since we do so much with our eyes, it’s essential our eyes get regular clean bills of health.

Filed Under: Advice, Health and Disease Tagged With: Alyna Rei, See With a Good Eye!

I don’t need to hear it

October 4, 2022 by szachik@pvs.org Leave a Comment

In our Blog pursuit of sharing mastered and sought-after skills, Alyna spotlights a skill essential to every adolescent: How to Master Selective Hearing.

By Junior Alyna Rei

I am generally a silent person. I like to hear rather than talk. But, there are some times when I just choose to not listen to my surroundings. This is what I call selective hearing. For the people that don’t know, selective hearing is when a person only listens to the things that they feel  are important. In my case, I only listen to the things that I want to hear. 90% of the time, I actually listen to important topics, but when I can pass through and not listen to useless information, I tune my ears out of the conversation.

Why hear selectively?

This certain skill can be seen as rude and inconsiderate. I only do this when necessary. Would you listen to something that sounds boring and unnecessary? Probably not. For the people that do, I envy you. I have not the tolerance. Again, I only listen to the things that I know are important. But, when I hear a topic that doesn’t involve or interest me, my ears will naturally muffle whatever someone is saying.

How do you hear selectively?

I feel like this skill comes to a person naturally. I have never had to “learn” how to listen to things that I only needed to, but I did perfect the skill. The key to doing this involves finding something else to focus your attention on.

I also use headphones a lot. This is a big distraction to my ears. When I can, I put headphones on all the time. I know that is a bad habit for my poor ears, but, oh well.

Where can you hear selectively?

I use this skill when I need to. This can be anywhere: office, school, the car. It can even be in your own home. 

Here’s the process.

When I feel the need to tune out, I focus my brain on a memory, a fantasy, a song, a favorite image, or a Wordle. If I have the chance, I put on my headphones and focus on music, a podcast, or an audio book that excites me.

Keep in mind, I always show a straight face doing this. It’s important to not make a face that is obviously showing zero interest in a topic. That’s what makes a person know that I have no interest in what they are talking about. Note: I have heard that my straight face can be scary, so you may want to perfect your own resting faux interest face.

Here’s how it works: when a classmate is very loud for no reason, and I feel I don’t need to hear that person, I go into the zone of blocking everything out. Many people call this spacing out. When I space out, I look at a certain thing, such as something that is not moving. When I do this, my ears tend to block everything out. My face is rested and frozen. If I really want to block everything out, I put on my headphones (specifically noise canceling) and maybe put on music that has lyrics. When music has lyrics, I tend to focus on the lyrics, thus blocking out everything else. Spacing out and having selective hearing happens to be a habit now for me, but I call it a skill.

The face to use when performing selective hearing is just a straight relaxed face. Sort of like the 😐 emoji.

Filed Under: Advice Tagged With: Alyna Rei, I don't need to hear it

Politeness is a Waste of Time

September 6, 2022 by szachik@pvs.org Leave a Comment

The Bird on Fire staff bloggers are tasked with writing about a cause. Here, Levi opts to go after the glue that holds together our society–politeness and small talk. It nearly goes without saying, the opinions of Levi do not necessarily represent the views of The Bird on Fire.

Blog Advisor Zachik

By Levi Kassinove, Junior

Dear Readers, given the comprehensive, semi-scientific post of last week, I feel you deserve a break. It’s time for a lighthearted post about why polite people are living a lie.

— Levi

Recently, on vacation, my friends and I were walking outside at night in the desert. Without giving too many details so as to not embarrass anyone, there were scorpions roaming around, and we needed a UV light to see them. We did not have a UV light. We walked around nonchalantly, accepting our situation, until a lady walked up to us and offered to let us borrow her UV flashlight. One of my friends fought absolute TOOTH AND NAIL for her to not give it to us. My friend repeatedly told her, “Oh you don’t have to, you really don’t have to,” to which the lady responded, “I insist. You guys are children and you should have fun.” This exchange kept going until I interrupted and said that I would like to use the light to see the scorpions. My friend grimaced and told me that I didn’t know how to handle social interaction. We had a great time looking at the formerly invisible scorpions in the night. We took pictures and gazed in awe at their beauty. Personally, I, along with some other people with us, had never seen scorpions in the wild before. It was a cool opportunity. Anyway, the point is that this would have never happened if my people-pleaser friend had successfully shooed the light-lending lady away. The lady had offered us a UV light that she already owned. She insisted that we try it out. So why fight out of politeness? It harms both parties in this case, since the lady seemed to genuinely want us to have fun. This exchange is an example of one of the many reasons why it is a bad habit to be unnecessarily polite, which is that it can prevent people from taking advantage of opportunities. 

Small talk, on the other hand, is something that we’ve all had to endure throughout our lives. Some live for it. I’d say that they aren’t really living. You can forget having a real human connection with the person if you insist on rhetorically asking how the other person is doing. If one person simply gives the other a real answer, the conversation will switch and both parties will let their guard down. So, I say just skip the small talk. Everyone would find it refreshing, unless they don’t have anything to talk about beyond the weather. The people that prefer to stay engaged in small talk are not interesting, and not worth getting to know any further. That is, if there is anything further to know. 

Perhaps small talk ties into politeness, if enough people feel that it is common courtesy. Ultimately, however, it is an unnecessary and exhausting exchange between people. And, it won’t provide any information of substance to the other person. To be blunt is to be genuine. I would go insane if people were to only engage in small talk. 

Consider this guy Bill who’s asking about the weather, when they are both literally standing outside. Bill has no idea how to respond, as this is a nonsensical question. Be more like Bill. 

englishclassviaskype.com

Filed Under: Advice, Culture, Daily Life, Introspection, Op-Ed, Unpopular Beliefs Tagged With: Levi Kassinove, Politeness is a Waste of Time

EV vs Combustion Power

September 6, 2022 by szachik@pvs.org 1 Comment

When I asked our bloggers to illuminate a cause, I didn’t really expect muscle cars to be of focus. But, I was forgetting Mustang fanatic Luke Sonderman was in the house.

Blog Advisor Zachik

By Luke Sonderman

Electric cars are taking the world by storm with some of the highest performing vehicles on the market for extremely low prices. Are these cars worth getting, or should you ride in style in a classic combustion?

Tesla Model S Plaid

The Tesla Model S Plaid is a piece of straight-up raw performance. With a 0-60 (mph) of just under 2 seconds, a top speed of 200mph, and over 1000 horsepower, the Model S Plaid is the definition of speed (tesla.com). Starting at only $140,000, you will not find a car with these specs in this price range or even at all! Yes, I know $140,000 is a lot of dough, but hear me out. The 2023 Ferrari 296 is one of the highest performing super cars on the market. With a 0-60 (mph) in 2.9 seconds and a top speed of 205mph, this thing is a monster (motortrend.com). With similar specs to the Model S, the 2023 Ferrari 296 starting price is $317,000. I think that anyone could agree that the Tesla Model S Plaid is without a doubt the highest performing car of 2022 and is also the best deal. 

Now let’s get into why the Tesla Model S Plaid is not worth your 140 grand. First of all, it is absolutely no fun. The most thrilling parts of owning a high performance sports car is the sound, the look, the interior, and then of course the actual performance. Yes, the Model S passes the performance test, but it’s like driving a really fast golf cart. The interior looks like an Ikea design, and the exterior looks like an Apple Magic Mouse. When it comes to sound, well, there really isn’t any. 

Ford Mustang Mach-E GT

One of my least favorite electric vehicles that is rising on the charts is the 2022 Mustang Mach-E GT. This hunk of junk has 480 horsepower, a 0-60 (mph) of 3.5 seconds, and a top speed of 124mph. The specs aren’t nearly what the Model S Plaid’s are, but this car starts at $65,000 so don’t expect a supercar. Still, a 3.5 0-60 is very quick, and it is still a high performance vehicle.

caranddriver.com

The real reason I hate this car so much is because they named it a Mustang. The name Mustang has been reserved for Ford’s muscle cars since the 60s. Mustangs are my favorite cars, and I was so disappointed when they made this ugly EV SUV a Mustang when it is not. It looks very, very weird on the exterior, but the interior is alright. Is it worth $65,000? Absolutely not! Get a REAL Mustang GT. A loud piece of muscle. 

Chevrolet Corvette C8

As a Ford fanatic, I hate to give Chevy any credit for anything… but the 2022 C8 Corvette is a pretty sick car. This 8-cylinder monster comes equipped with 490 horsepower, a 0-60 (mph) of 2.9 seconds, and a top speed of 194mph (stingraychevrolet.com). Corvettes are known for their lightweight body and power-packed engines that make them so fast. Starting at only $61,000, this car is definitely the best bang for your buck when it comes to sports cars (roadandtrack.com).

Now, this car not only has the performance of a supercar, but it has a fighter jet style interior. If I bought a sports car, I would want it to look like a fighter jet. Now the exterior is cool, don’t get me wrong, but I favor the older model exteriors such as the 2017. When it comes to what I’m looking for in a sports car, it has the noise, it has the performance, it has the interior, and it has the coolness factor. When it really comes down to it, I would probably spend my 60g’s on a Mustang, but if you are looking for a speedy, quick car, then I would totally go with the 2022 Corvette C8. 

(thecarconnection.com)

(thecarconnection.com)

Mustang Shelby GT-500

Now the car I have been waiting for… the Mustang Shelby GT-500. This is definitely my favorite car, and I believe it is the coolest car on the market. This supercharged 5.2 liter 8-cylinder muscle car comes packed with 760 horsepower, 180mph top speed, and a 0-60 (mph) of 3.5 seconds (guideautoweb.com). I know what you’re going to say…. I know it has way more horsepower than the Corvette, and it is still a bit slower. But, this car is a powerhouse. The wow factor of this engine will blow your mind. It is loud, powerful, and very pretty. As a muscle car, Mustangs have a generally heavier body than most every sports car, which is why they tend to be slower than cars like Corvettes and Teslas. But the power you feel under the hood of a 2022 Mustang Shelby GT-500 is nothing like a little Tesla or 400-horsepower Corvette. 

Of any of the cars on this list, this one would be the one I would get. The GT-500 has everything I look for in a sports car. It has impeccable performance, a crazy engine, a very loud exhaust, and it has a beautiful interior and exterior. Although I may be biased as a Mustang owner, I believe that this is the best car money can buy. Starting at $70,000, the GT-500 is the epitome of style, power, and fun. 

(motortrend.com)

In the end when it comes to gas vs. electric, I would go with gas. I’m a junkie for speed, noise, style, and power, and electric vehicles do not have all of those characteristics. If all you care about is a minimalistic aesthetic and a quick little golf cart, then I would get a Tesla.  But if you want some real power and muscle, go with a Mustang. 

Filed Under: Advice, Aesthetic, Technology Tagged With: EV vs Combustion Power, Luke Sonderman

How to Grow Culinary Mushrooms

August 25, 2022 by szachik@pvs.org 1 Comment

I tasked The Bird on Fire staff with describing, discovering, and detailing PVS hobbies. Alyna reminded us we fell into some “interesting” hobbies during quarantine. Luke gave us sage advice on collecting vinyl (Avoid scratches). This summer, Levi took up growing mushrooms . . . in his grandparents’ bathroom. Here is his tale.

Ms. Zachik, Blog Advisor

By Junior Levi Kassinove

I realize that, in writing this, few people will have the time and energy to grow mushrooms. If you do, however, choose to grow culinary mushrooms, know that you will end up growing many more than you know what to do with. It’s a rewarding yet comprehensive process. And, obviously, if you ask me, I’d tell you that it is totally worth it. All the information in this guide comes from my own experience growing pink oyster and lion’s mane mushrooms. 

Part 1: Life Cycle of a Fungus

Before learning how to grow mushrooms, it is necessary to understand the life cycle of the fungus itself due to its drastic differences from the life cycle of a plant. Additionally, note that fungi are neither plants nor animals, but rather their own kingdom. 

The life cycle starts with spores, which are microscopic balls of DNA that are released by the billion from the mushroom’s gills. The spores travel the universe by wind and sometimes an animal’s foot if it had stepped on a mushroom. Eventually, some spores settle on dirt, corpses, feces, basically anything with nutritional value. I’ve seen people grow mushrooms on cardboard. When two spores meet, they form a microscopic white strand between them called a hypha. Over time, the hyphae will branch out and grow in new directions, making connections between new strands. Collectively, these hyphae are called the mycelium. The mycelium is basically the entirety of the fungus. Its most basic functions are to absorb and send nutrients throughout the mycelial network. A good way to think of a fungus is to compare it to an apple tree, where the tree is the mycelium, and the mushrooms are the apples. But some more interesting functions of the mycelium include deciding when it’s time to produce mushrooms, and even communicating (to a degree) with surrounding trees (Science Direct-Fungal Consciousness). According to the University of Illinois, the mycelium’s “network-like design mirrors that of dark matter, neural connections in the brain, and even the human-created Internet.” But this is not a discussion about philosophical questions; this is about growing mushrooms. So, when the conditions are right, the mycelium will produce the fruiting bodies known colloquially as mushrooms. As the mushrooms mature, their caps will open up and release spores. The cycle starts once again. The whole process takes a few months. 

Part 2: Growing at Home

As I said earlier, mushrooms can pretty much grow on anything with nutrients. They don’t need sunlight (although its benefits are debated by the mushroom growing community, more on why later), and they don’t need much water. What they do absolutely need is a sterile environment (nothing will ever be truly sterile, but I will use the word to describe sterility to the degree that matters to us), which is the main difficulty in mushroom cultivation. You might be wondering why that matters if mushrooms can grow just fine in the wild. Well, the mushrooms we see in the wild have stood the test of time and beaten out all other microscopic competition (mold, bacteria, and other mushrooms). There’s a reason why mushrooms produce billions of spores; it’s incredibly rare that a given set of spores survive in the wild. If you attempted to grow mushrooms without using a sterile technique, the mycelium would quickly become overtaken by mold or bacteria. It is by luck that a given set of spores end up beating competition and creating mushrooms in the wild. This means that, in your own home, you have to kill all other competition. So how is that accomplished? 

Mushrooms require a sterile medium to grow in. The easiest option for us homegrowers is precooked, microwavable-ready rice. The exact kind you can buy at any supermarket. Be careful, however, to not buy any rice with a high sodium content (>500mg) or any flavorings. Plain old brown rice is the best way to go. Now, since the area within the ready-rice bag is sterile, you need to somehow transfer the spores into the rice without introducing contaminants. This process is called inoculation. There are multiple ways to accomplish this, but the easiest way is to use an MSS (multi-spore syringe) to pierce the unopened bag and inject the spores. It is a syringe with a solution consisting of water and spores, which can be bought online. The idea is to inject the spores into the bag of rice and squirt the solution, then quickly cover the hole. The needle will come sterilized, but you still need to sterilize the environment surrounding the bag just before you inoculate. It is not overkill to spray the entire room with Lysol spray. You need to be absolutely sure that nothing gets in the bag but spores. If contaminants get in, there is no chance your young and ungerminated spores will be able to fight them off. So spray the room with Lysol; get gloves on; mask up (so you don’t breathe on the bag); and wipe the bag down with alcohol wipes. One of the required materials I did not mention before was medical grade paper tape (name brand is Micropore, found at CVS), which is needed as a means to get oxygen into the bag while simultaneously filtering out contaminants. So once the spores are injected (injecting any more than 1cc of solution will induce bacterial wet rot), quickly cover the hole with the paper tape. This tiny hole, of course, will not provide sufficient oxygen. To provide sufficient oxygen, cut the corner of the bag (1 in. wide, with scissors wiped with alcohol) and cover it completely with paper tape. All of this should be completed within a minute or so, starting from once everything is sterilized. Now, you can leave it alone for a few weeks without touching the bag. The bag needs to stay sealed. The hardest part is truly over now, although this was not my main challenge when growing. I also should stress that you are only minimizing the chances of contamination, and not completely eliminating it. Doing all these steps in a relatively dirty house with pets would likely get you a bag full of mold. 

Part 3: The Waiting Game 

The amount of time it takes for the mycelium to fully colonize the bag is dependent on temperature, genetics (luck if you’re using a Multi-Spore Syringe), and the method of inoculation. The ideal temperature for mycelial growth is 75-77 degrees Fahrenheit. So room temperature will work for most people. Anything colder will slow down the growth, anything higher will increase the probability of contamination and start to cook the mycelium. The colonization process will take about a month. You can tell when it’s 100% colonized when the bag is hard all the way through. Not rock solid, but it should be quite firm. If it is firm in some areas but mushy in others, it still has a ways to go. The genetics are completely random and vary from spore to spore in an MSS (the species is guaranteed of course), but you can also inoculate the rice with a liquid culture syringe or a colonized agar wedge for faster colonization. A liquid culture syringe is a syringe with a solution of already established mycelium as opposed to spores, which saves about a week of waiting. An agar wedge is a wedge cut from an agar plate, which is basically a petri dish filled with nutrients (with mycelium growing in this case). The advantage of an agar wedge over a liquid culture syringe is that it is possible to genetically isolate the fastest and strongest mycelium in an agar plate. Unfortunately that is too advanced for this post; after all, I did recommend growing these things in a bag of ready-rice. 

At one point I grew pink oyster mushrooms in fancy mason jars I bought online specifically designed for growing mushrooms. They contain sterilized rye berries, a self-healing injection port, and a filter. I know I could have gone with the ready-rice method, but this method further reduces the chance of contamination since you don’t need to make your own filter. Anyway, the white stuff you see in the picture to the right is mycelium, and when the jars are fully white, they are ready for the next phase. 

Part 4: Spawning to Bulk

A mere bag of rice will only yield about five mushrooms, so the next step is to expand the mycelium further. Though if you want, the process could end with the rice. Given enough time, the mycelium will just start pumping mushrooms like no tomorrow, and you’ll end up with a bag of deformed little mushroom children. I don’t think they’ll taste good. Moving on, the idea of spawning to bulk is that you can dump the colonized rice in some actual soil to grow out the mycelium in a shoebox. Sterility is not as important now because at this point the mycelium is big enough to deal with its own problems (antibiotic properties). The real issue now is what soil to use. You can either choose to make your own substrate (a real pain), or buy it online. For mushrooms that grow on the ground, your best bet is to go with a coco coir-based substrate. Coco coir is the fibrous husk of the coconut. A condensed brick of coco coir could be found at PetSmart, which is actually ideal for this process because of a reason I’ll explain later. Grounded mushrooms can grow on just coco coir, but a blend of coco coir, vermiculite, gypsum powder, and coffee grounds is optimal. Mushrooms that grow on trees prefer either a sawdust or straw-based blend with the optional addition of the other ingredients from the grounded blend. As long as its base is correct, you can use any combination of the other ingredients. For example, sawdust and coffee grounds work fine. You can either buy all of these ingredients separately at PetSmart and Home Depot, or buy a pre-made substrate online like I did somewhat idiotically (I bought a coir-based substrate even though pink oysters grow on trees, but it ended up working). It’s cheaper, as you can imagine, to just buy the raw ingredients. But there’s a caveat: you need to pasteurize and hydrate the substrate.

 Pasteurizing is basically partially sterilizing something. You pasteurize the substrate because although the mycelium is big and strong, you still don’t want contaminants lurking in that coco coir. Normally it takes two months for the mushroom mycelium to end up producing spores, but mold can start blasting spores within days of its existence. Within the week you will be growing a green box of death instead of delicious mushrooms. But, you don’t want to kill all the microorganisms, as some are beneficial to the process (Science Direct). Hydration on the other hand is a whole different ball game. You need to hydrate the substrate so that it’s not too dry and not too wet. It’s called field-capacity, which in dummy terms means the maximum amount of water that soil can contain without dripping if you hold it up. There is a proper way to calculate field capacity, but I think saturating the substrate and then squeezing the water out is pretty surefire. You can pasteurize and hydrate the substrate in one go if you use boiling water and a bucket, which also expands the brick of coco coir. You can also pasteurize substrate with an oven, but I don’t know why you would do that. Once you have your pasteurized substrate, you can open the bag of rice and dump everything in a shoebox, mixing well. Close the lid on the shoebox and wait for the mycelium to fully colonize the substrate. After it’s fully colonized, it’s mushroom time, baby. Now, herein lies the final challenge. 

Part 5: Fruiting 

The most difficult part of this process for me was the fruiting conditions. I’ll explain why soon, but first it is critical to understand what fruiting conditions are in order to understand how I messed up. Also, at this point the colonized substrate-grain mix is called a cake. Fruiting conditions are the conditions necessary for the mycelium to produce mushrooms. The factors here include temperature, sunlight (you thought I forgot about that), humidity, and fresh air. The only thing you need to do to initiate fruiting conditions is crack the lid open. Now, obviously you need to take other measures to ensure things don’t go awry, but that is pretty much it. Mycelium likes a marked decrease in carbon dioxide levels and an increase in oxygen levels. Why? Because when mycelium is growing underground and has finally reached the surface, exposing it to fresh air, it knows that mushrooms will protrude above the surface. The same concept applies to sunlight. Sunlight is used as an indicator of when it’s time to fruit, because the mycelium will only sense the light of day when it has colonized the surface. Mushrooms can easily grow in the dark, however, much like how mushrooms can grow in the bags of rice. But the presence of sunlight is argued to decrease the time it takes for pinning to occur (mushroom babies forming). This along with many other things is a subject of great debate within the hobbyist mushroom growing community. The optimal temperature is about five degrees Fahrenheit below the colonization temperature in order to “shock” the mycelium into fruiting (cornell.edu). The relative humidity of the air around the cake should be at least 90% (the mycelium will produce humidity). Now back to my grave error. I grew these pink oysters during the wintertime, so it was extremely dry in my home. I took no precautions to ensure the humidity was right, and so the cake ended up completely drying out. It was cracking. And so, in a last ditch effort to save my mushrooms, I completely filled the shoebox with water. I had scoured the internet for what to do when your cake dries out, and submerging it in water was pretty much the only solution. I let it soak for a few hours as advised by the wizards of the internet, and drained the water afterwards. Then I bought a humidifier and put it next to the box. Every day, it is important to mist your cake in order to ensure the same thing doesn’t happen to you. Also, it is important to fan your cake every day with the lid in order to introduce fresh air and move away the stale air. Don’t fan so much that the cake dries out, though. And similarly, don’t mist too much or something will grow on the mycelium. If you’ve got all this down, pins will appear in no time. After I soaked my cake I got mushrooms within two weeks. Once you see pins, fully grown mushrooms will be present within one week. They grow rapidly. Also, when the mycelium stops producing mushrooms, the mushrooms on the cake are called a flush. The crazy thing is that you can have multiple flushes! In order to do this, cut the mushrooms from the cake (pulling can damage the mycelium) and soak the cake in water overnight. The mycelium puts most of its water into the mushrooms, so in order for it to grow more, it needs to be rehydrated. Eventually the mycelium will run out of nutrients, but you can solve that problem by soaking the cake in coffee instead of water. You can pretty much get an infinite amount of mushrooms with one cake, that is, until senescence catches up to it. You can also just take a spore print of the mushroom and scrape the spores into a new bag of rice with the same sterile techniques. 

The possibilities are endless. Now, onto the ways mushrooms will save the world, and after that, recipes! Just kidding, goodbye.

Levi’s pink oyster mushroom cluster

Filed Under: Advice, Food, Learned Something New Tagged With: How to Grow Culinary Mushrooms, Levi Kassinove

The Art of Collecting Vinyl

August 24, 2022 by szachik@pvs.org 2 Comments

By Luke Sonderman

Why Vinyl Records Are Still Relevant

Vinyl records were released to consumers almost 90 years ago, giving everyday people the ability to listen to the exact music they want without having to turn on a radio (thevinylrevivers.com). This revolutionary invention changed the way people could enjoy music forever! 

To this day, vinyl records have been one of the most prominent ways to listen to music amongst the pickiest listeners. Now, you may think that vinyl is dead because of streaming and downloading music, but YOU ARE MOST UTTERLY WRONG! Mark Michalek of Fluance, a home theater company, said, “[A] proper vinyl pressing will reproduce an uncompressed signal with no additional artificial sound processing such as dynamic compression resulting in a greater effective dynamic range for a more life-like sound” (techradar.com). Through the uncompressed vinyl sound we can allow our ears to hear all of the frequencies of the music as if it was being performed in front of us. With streaming and downloading, we do not get the same live effect. 

Collecting Vinyl

Listening to the sound on vinyl records isn’t the only part of the massive appeal. Vinyl records have become collectables, and some even sell upwards of two million dollars! (hmv.com) Many vinyl stores sell their records pre-owned which creates a large vinyl scavenging frenzy. When a collector walks into a vinyl store, they have no idea what treasure they may walk out with. You may buy a first edition Led Zeppelin print worth thousands, or you may find an old worthless Zappa album that isn’t worth skat. 

Personally, I don’t search for valuable gems. I just look for pre-owned cheap records from groups I like because the new prints are wicked expensive.

What To Look For When Buying Pre-Owned Vinyl

  1. Inspect the vinyl record’s cover. If the cover is in good condition, it is a good sign that the record will also probably be in good condition. If the cover is in bad condition, the record will most definitely be in bad condition. When you find a record in perfect condition with a very beat-up cover, there is a large chance that the cover is not original to the record and the same can be said vice versa. 
  2. Check if the record has a sleeve inside the cover. Never buy a record without a sleeve. The vinyl cover will scratch the record if there is no sleeve protecting it. Of course, if a sleeve is very torn and worn, the record was probably taken in and out of the cover many times. Usually, record stores will replace the sleeve if it is torn, which is good because when you buy a record you want to be able to maintain its condition. 
  3. Of course, you need to check the condition of the record itself. Often, used records in record stores have accumulated lots of dust and grime which you will want to brush off before purchasing the record. After dusting off the record, look for any scratches on the record. As a general rule of thumb, if you can feel a scratch with your finger, then the stylus (needle) will be able to feel it too. Also check to make sure that the record isn’t warped and is completely flat. 

If all of that checks out,  then you should be good to buy the record. When spending large amounts of money on vintage records, I would recommend you ask the store owner if you can play the record before purchasing it, but I buy my records for less than 10 dollars, so it’s not a big deal to me. 

Here is a list of recommendations for used vinyl albums you should buy:

  • Houses of the Holy – Led Zeppelin
  • Appetite for Destruction – Guns and Roses
  • Wasting Light – Foo Fighters
  • Shout At The Devil – Motley Crue
  • Physical Graffiti – Led Zeppelin
  • 2112 – Rush
  • Too Fast For Love – Motley Crue

Filed Under: Advice, Culture, Entertainment, Music Tagged With: Luke Sonderman, The Art of Collecting Vinyl

How to Procrastinate

May 25, 2022 by szachik@pvs.org 2 Comments

By Levi Kassinove

Now that the last final exam has been taken, the last project submitted, it’s safe to share Levi’s TIPS ON HOW TO PROCRASTINATE. Got summer reading? These tips will be handy.

Procrastination is a habit amongst people who either think that they can finish the work in one day, or are genuinely lazy and don’t care about school. The latter is easier to understand; the former seems like an illogical thought pattern. If people can finish the work in one day, why don’t they finish it early so that they have time to relax? As a master procrastinator myself (I waited until the night before every final project this year was due to start and finish them), I can say it’s because we don’t want to. We’re a stubborn group of people who’d rather put off the suffering and forget about it until we are forced to take care of it. Call us lazy, but I say it’s a way of life. Here are 5 steps on how best to procrastinate. 

Step 1: Plan out your procrastination.

Actually forgetting about the homework or project you were assigned is an advanced technique and should therefore not be attempted by beginner procrastinators. The best thing to do is to plan out exactly when and for how long you’re going to procrastinate. A classic example of this thought pattern is, “I’m going to do absolutely nothing for the next three days, and THEN I’ll do my project after dinner at 10 p.m. That should give me enough time.” Forgetting about the assignment is a riskier move, but it does relieve the stress of not doing the homework. If you planned it out, you’d have to have the assignment in the back of your head the whole time. But, as our motto goes, “Stress is a future me problem.”

Step 2: Bargain and make empty promises.

A great way to prolong your procrastination is to make promises with yourself that you know you’ll never keep. These can include telling yourself that you’ll do half the homework today and the rest tomorrow, making a fake schedule for when you plan to do the homework, and promising yourself some ice cream if you get the homework done early. We all know, however, that we’d just end up eating the ice cream and never doing the work. 

Step 3: Find better ways to spend your time.

Whether it’s eating ice cream, watching TikTok, reading (yeah, right), browsing Reddit, or playing video games, we all need to find something better to do than homework. We need to preoccupy ourselves so that we don’t feel guilty or stressed, unless you’re doing the advanced technique of forgetting the homework exists. Distraction is key for procrastination. “I could do my homework right now, but Genshin Impact just got a new update…”

Step 4: Gaslight yourself.

The most effective way to procrastinate is to convince yourself that there is no homework. That way you don’t even have to think about it. To convince yourself that there is no homework, start by asking the question, “How can I trust that I know we have homework?” Or even, “What is homework?” After you convince yourself that there is no homework, it becomes easier to convince others that you have no homework. The lie becomes easier if you believe it as well. “Yes, mother, I also think it’s weird that my teachers haven’t assigned homework in four days!”

Step 5: Do the work.

The time has come. Your assignments are due in three hours. The hardest part of procrastinating is actually doing the work just hours before it is due. Not only are you in a time crunch, but it’s also late at night, so you have the additional disadvantage of being tired. Sometimes I drink coffee and sacrifice sleep that night. The key takeaway here is that if you choose to procrastinate, you have to be absolutely confident in your ability to do large amounts of work in a short amount of time. Otherwise, you pay the price of a terrible grade. 

Filed Under: Advice, Mottos, Op-Ed

  • « Previous Page
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • 6
  • …
  • 14
  • Next Page »

About

We are the Palm Valley Firebirds of Rancho Mirage, California. Join us in our endeavors. Venture through the school year with us, perusing the artwork of our students, community, and staff. Our goal is to share the poems, stories, drawings and photographs, essays and parodies that come out of our school. Welcome aboard!