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The Bird is the Word: Sophisticated Schoolyard Shenanigans

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My Favorite Comic: Maus by Art Spiegelman

December 6, 2022 by szachik@pvs.org Leave a Comment

By Junior Alyna Rei

Student bloggers went in search of something comic that conveyed something profound. Alyna recalls the graphic novel set Maus that she read as a sophomore. She liked it.

I am not the biggest fan of reading history books or learning about history in general. Not that I hate history. I just don’t have the biggest interest in it. But, there is an exception. In my 10th-grade English class, I read Maus by Art Spiegelman. This story was split into two books, and I actually enjoyed reading both. Despite this story being pretty famous, it was actually voted to be banned by a school board in Tennessee (nytimes.com). 

The two books take place during the Holocaust. The Jews display as Mice, the Germans as Cats, Americans as dogs, and the Polish as pigs. 

The First Book, Maus I: A Survivor’s Tale – My Father Bleeds History

We start off with our main character, Vladek, who was a survivor of the Holocaust. Vladek is telling his experience of the Holocaust to his son, Artie (who is a depiction of Art Spiegelman himself). As well, we see the story of Vladek’s wife and Artie’s mother, Anja. We first experience their regular lives before the Holocaust began and then see a complete switch up over time. We go into the beginning part of Auschwitz at the conclusion of Book I and basically the onslaught of the Holocaust. In Book I, we don’t see the couple in the camps. Rather it’s a run down of the beginning tragedies of the Holocaust: such as people losing their jobs, their homes, their neighborhoods, their livelihoods, their lives, etc.

The Maus I book cover as it appears at Amazon.com

The Second Book, Maus II: A Survivor’s Pain – And Here My Troubles Began

The second book is set in the middle of the Holocaust. Vladek is trying to get to his wife, Anja, since the two are separated into different gender camps in Auschwitz. Art Spielgelman does drive us into the characters’ arrival at Auschwitz. This book gives us a more detailed presentation on how the Holocaust appeared through Vladek’s perspective. We see Vladek trying to survive in the camp, desperately working for sufficient food, clothing, shelter, and possible escape for Anja and himself. We still see contemporary scenes between Vladek and Artie, but we also do go back into the past.

Maus II as it appears on Amazon.com

My Opinion

I actually prefer the first book over the second. The first book gave me a good understanding of what the Holocaust was about after seeing Vladik’s developing story. You see the mice having a regular life, and then you see that life chipped away, and eventually lost. I feel that this graphic novel is a better book from which to learn about the Holocaust than to read a nonfiction book for students. When you read Maus, yes, it is a little graphic. We see graphic depictions of dead bodies. But, the book gives you a good understanding of what the Holocaust tragedy was rather than reading dry facts. You get to stand in the characters’ shoes.

This book had an effect on me more than the rest of the books I read in 10th grade as I was able to learn about the Holocaust more. I do recommend this book to anyone who wants to learn more about the Holocaust because it gives you moving insight about the tragedy of the Holocaust while capitalizing on a compelling stereotype regarding cats and mice.

Photo Source: Tor.com

Filed Under: Humor Tagged With: Alyna Rei, My Favorite Comic: Maus by Art Spiegelman

Knock Knock?

November 30, 2022 by szachik@pvs.org Leave a Comment

By 7th grader Penny Andreas

A lot can be said and conveyed via comedy. PVS Bloggers searched for something comic that
fascinated them or was an integral part of life. Penny remembers those ever-present, slightly annoying knock-knock jokes.

Jokes are a very special phase that I believe all kids go through at one time in their life. My sister, at age five, loved to run up and say something like, “Why did the cat cross the road? . . . To go to the bakery.” It made no sense, but it cracked her up. Knock-knock jokes, in particular, have been around since the 1900s, says NPR’s article “The Secret History of Knock-Knock Jokes.” One thing most people all like are some good ol’ knee-slappers. I surveyed a couple of people to see what their favorite jokes were. I’ve included them below. Enjoy! 🙂

(The “Interrupting Cow” joke happened way too many times so I apologize if you don’t see yours.)

 

7th-Grader Roman Sooban: Knock, knock? 

Who’s there? 

Spell!

Spell who?

W. H. O. 

Teacher Mrs. Maguire: Knock, knock?

Who’s there? 

Impatient cow. 

Impati-

MOO!

7th-Grader Jackie Padgett: Why did the chicken cross the road? 

I don’t know. Why?

To get to the idiot’s house. 

Okay.

Knock knock.

Who’s there? 

The chicken. 

(Jackie: I always fall for this one; it’s sad.)

7th-Grader Sierra James: What do you call a bear with no teeth? 

Dunno.

A gummy bear!

6th-Grader Lorelei Behr: Knock, knock?

Who’s there? 

Banana.

Banana who?

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Banana.

Banana who?

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Orange.

Orange who?

Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?

9th-Grader Kayliee Augustine: Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

A broken pencil.

A broken pencil who? 

Nevermind. It’s pointless.

Teacher Ms. Schapiro: What did the snail say while riding on the turtle’s back? 

I don’t know.

WHEEEEEEEEEEE!

Junior Levi Kassinove: Knock, knock? 

Who’s there?

To.

To who?

To whom. 

Filed Under: Humor Tagged With: Knock Knock?, Penny Andreas

Documented Debacles of the Ancients

October 27, 2020 by szachik@pvs.org 1 Comment

By Hannah Hall

Tasked with finding “Funny stories from history,” Hannah encountered a cornucopia of outrageous events that make history a little more interesting.–Editor Evan

People have always been ridiculously stupid at times–whether that be through their actions, obsessions, or legends. I’ve scoped out some of the funniest historical moments and made a list–which is kind of my thing. Enjoy these stories, and let me know what you think!

1) Allegedly, when Voltaire was near his death, he was told to renounce the devil. He instead replied, “This is no time to be making new enemies.” I mean, I would want to at least try to be on the good side of the devil before my death, too. (Hilarious Historical, factinate.com).

2) Charles Darwin is widely known for his theory of evolution and his famous trip to the Galapagos Islands. When Darwin arrived on the islands, he discovered giant tortoises and thought that it would be a good idea to try and ride them. (Hilarious Historical, factinate.com).

3) We all know Plato, right? Well, his name actually wasn’t even “Plato.” Historians believe that was just his nickname. Funny enough, his nickname means “broad” in Greek. So all these years, we are actually calling Plato a big hunky man, aaaoooooga! (Greek Philosophers, factinate.com).

4) Speaking of Plato, Diogenes sent him a hand-plucked chicken and “called it a man.” This was a not-so-subtle nod to Plato’s famous quote of man being nothing but a “featherless biped.” His stunt urged Plato to change his interpretation of man to include “with broad flat nails.” (Greek Philosophers, factinate.com).

5) Fidel Castro loved loved loved ice cream. So much so, he actually bred his own kind of cow, called Uber Blanca, that “stands up to heat” and produces “lots of milk.” He loved ice cream so much that he founded an ice cream shop that is still running to this day! Also, Castro was so passionate about his dairy that he would even debate with other global figures about it. (liveabout.com)

6) In Ancient Rome and China, they needed a torture method that didn’t leave a trace. They came up with a method where they would rub salt on the soles of the victim’s feet, then goats would lick it off! (Hilarious Historical, factincate.com)

7) Andrew Jackson had a parrot. Unfortunately, at Jackson’s funeral, guests found out this bird had quite the foul mouth. This bird cursed up such a storm that it not only interrupted the service but had to be removed from the venue completely. Polly wanna shut up? I’m just kidding. (Hilarious Historical, factinate.com)

8) Tycho Brahe, a nobleman who is known for his astronomy and alchemy-related observations, was very proud of his mathematical formulas. He has actually been recorded to have challenged another scientist to a duel who believed his formula was better! In this duel, Brahe’s nose was sliced clean off, resulting in Brahe wearing a prosthetic nose until his death. (liveabout.com)

     

9) One day, Greek philosopher Chrysippus was feeding figs to his pet donkey. Naturally, he thought that the donkey should wash the figs down with an alcoholic beverage. The donkey of course got drunk, and the sight was so incredible that Chrysippus died of laughing–literally. (Hilarious Historical, factinate.com)

10) Willoughby Bertie had a thoroughbred–one of the most prestigious racehorses in the world. And, this thoroughbred had a unique name. When the horse was a colt, a stable boy was told the horse’s name was Potatoes and noted the name on paper. But he actually didn’t know how to spell “Potatoes.” So, the colt’s official name became “Potatoooooooos.” This name was shortened to “Pot8os” and surely left spectators amused. (liveabout.com)

Sources:

https://www.liveabout.com/hilarious-historical-facts-4154997

https://www.factinate.com/things/33-hilarious-historical-facts-brighten-next-history-lesson/
https://www.factinate.com/things/42-seriously-weird-facts-ancient-greek-philosophers/

Funny Stories from History Editor: Evan Spry

Filed Under: Historical Figures, History, Humor Tagged With: Documented Debacles of the Ancients, Hannah Hall

The First American Olympics

October 22, 2020 by szachik@pvs.org 2 Comments

Editor Evan ordered the Blog Staff to find Funny Stories from History. Jake found the most intriguing series of events in Olympic history.

By Jake Sonderman

Since the dawn of the ancient Greek city-states, countries have gathered despite differences to compete in an event called the Olympics. The Olympic games discontinued for thousands of years after the fall of the Greek city-states, but they were revitalized in 1896 in Europe. After almost a decade of the Olympics, the United States sought to host these reputable games. So, in 1904, the third Olympic games came to St. Louis, Missouri. This was a landmark Olympics in many ways. It was the year the gold medal was introduced (the silver medal was the highest previously), and American gymnast George Eyser won six medals even though he had a wooden leg (The Atlantic). German-American Frank Kugler won four medals in three different sports, making him the only competitor to ever win medals in three different sports (bleacherreport). Boxing was also  introduced at this Olympics. But by far, the most peculiar part of these Olympics was the Olympic marathon. 

Source: abc.net

Today we look to keep our athletes in peak condition and performance. But, in 1904, not so much. The 24-mile course was an entirely dirt road with 100-300 foot hills, and on the day of the race, it was 92 degrees and humid (I put the numbers into a heat-index indicator: it felt like 135 degrees in St. Louis). On top of all of this, James Sullivan, the organizer of the race, decided to  put only one water station in the entire race to “purposefully dehydrate” the runners. This was because he had a hypothesis that dehydration would help the runners do better. Because of this, only 14 of the 32 runners finished the race, and the winning time is still the worst in Olympic history by 30 minutes! (AV Club)

The gun fired to begin the race, and Fred Lorz was in the lead. A short way into the race, William Garcia, from California, collapsed after inhaling so much dirt from the unpaved road and passing traffic it blocked his esophagus. He was rushed to the hospital, just in time. If he had continued for even a couple more minutes he would have likely died (Smithsonian). 

Two racers had come all the way from South Africa, and they ran barefoot. They were fast and  likely would have won if they hadn’t been chased a mile off course by dogs (Quartz).

The only Cuban in this Olympics, Andarin Clervajal, was in the marathon. Upon his arrival in the US, he gambled away all of his money. He hitchhiked and walked from New Orleans to St. Louis. He had not eaten in 40 hours and only had pants and a dress shirt on. He cut his pants and rolled up his sleeves and began the race anyway. On the track through the town, Clervajal saw a tasty lookin’ peach cart, and begged the owners for a couple. When the owners of the cart refused he grabbed one anyway and ran. Farther down the track, Clervajal saw an even TASTIER looking apple orchard. He took a quick stop and ate one of the apples, but the apples were rotten! Clervajal decided to nap it off and then woke up, and continued the race. He finished 4th. (AV Club) 

Even though Fred Lorz was leading at the start, Thomas Hicks passed him fairly quickly. Lorz tried to catch up and burned out around halfway through the course. Lucky for him, he hitched a ride on a passing car, and waved at the runners as he passed them. The car broke down a couple miles from the finish line, and from there Lorz continued the race. Lorz ended up crossing the finish line first. He was even awarded the gold medal by Alice Roosevelt! Then, the truth came out–in just minutes. Lorz said he was only joking. (AV Club)

Thomas Hicks, the real leader in the race, found he could not keep going seven miles before the race ended. But his trainers wouldn’t let him give up. They gave him some strychnine (rat poison) and brandy to keep him going. Safe to say this didn’t help, and Hick’s trainers carried him the rest of the way to win him the gold medal. Hicks needed immediate medical attention for his dehydration combined with the rat poison in his system. Though he finished first, he lost eight pounds in the couple hours of the race. (Medium)

*I almost don’t feel the need to include sources for this story because you really can’t make this kind of stuff up.

Sources:

https://bleacherreport.com/articles/1182023-30-greatest-athletes-in-summer-olympic-history

https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2012/08/how-a-guy-with-a-wooden-leg-won-6-olympic-medals/260988/

https://www.boredpanda.com/1904-olympic-marathon-st-louis/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/the-1904-olympic-marathon-may-have-been-the-strangest-ever-14910747/

https://www.penn.museum/sites/olympics/olympicorigins.shtml#:~:text=Although%20the%20ancient%20Games%20were,presented%20the%20idea%20in%201894.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1904_Summer_Olympics

https://qz.com/758181/the-long-and-bizarre-history-of-the-olympic-marathon/

https://www.avclub.com/the-1904-olympic-marathon-was-the-worst-race-ever-run-1842740808

View at Medium.com
https://medium.com/history-of-yesterday/the-worst-marathon-in-human-history-66047f7e004c

Funny Stories in History Editor: Evan Spry

Filed Under: History, Humor Tagged With: Jake Sonderman, The First American Olympics

There Were Three Popes…And They All Excommunicated Each Other

October 20, 2020 by szachik@pvs.org 1 Comment

In looking for Funny Stories in History, as directed by Editor Evan, Sara looked to the Catholic Church and its intriguing papal history.

By Sara Habibipour

The history of the Catholic Church is a lengthy one (said every history student ever). But, hidden in this history is a pretty ironic story that’s worth sharing. It all takes place during the Western Schism.

After the death of Pope Gregory XI in 1378, the open position in the papacy led to the Western Schism. Urban VI was elected as pope but soon became very unpopular among the Roman people because he was known for being “temperamental, suspicious, and reformist” (History 101).

Where did the second pope come from? “Many of the cardinals under Urban VI left Rome and appointed Robert of Geneva (who took the name Clement VII) as a rival pope in Avignon” (History 101).

The council of Pisa was held in 1409 to resolve the question of the true heir. But, wait! There’s more! Alexander V established a third papacy in Northern Italy, leading to more drastic tensions within the Catholic Church; the followers of the three popes were greatly divided along national lines and “political antagonisms arose” (Medium). All three popes claimed legitimacy to the throne of St. Peter. In an attempt to resolve this issue and claim power, they all excommunicated each other! In other words, they exiled each other from the Church; this is the worst punishment a member could possibly receive because it dooms a follower to Hell! Rather than leading to resolved conflict, this event only led to an ironic and funny story. Never before in history had three popes deemed each other as disgraces to the Church! 

After three excommunications and eight years of the Council of Constance to elect a recognized pope by all, Pope Martin was elected to the papacy, effectively ending the Western Schism; there were no more arguments over who the true pope was. 

Sources:

https://www.britannica.com/event/Western-Schism

View at Medium.com

https://www.history101.com/one-time-there-were-three-popes-and-they-all-excommunicated-each-other/

Image Source: 

https://alchetron.com/Western-Schism

Funny Stories in History Editor: Evan Spry

Filed Under: Historical Figures, History, Humor Tagged With: Sara Habibipour

Tomb or…Toilet?

October 20, 2020 by szachik@pvs.org 1 Comment

Elizabeth went searching for Funny but Historical Stories–as directed by Editor Evan. She found a most unsavory burial that nearly went to the grave with Patton.

By Elizabeth Shay

In 1917, esteemed World War II general George S. Patton visited the tiny French village of Bourg with the intention of establishing a tank training school. The local mayor approached General Patton in tears, claiming that the Americans had failed to inform him of the death of one of their soldiers. Patton was perplexed, as he was not aware of any death, but he allowed the mayor to lead him to the site of the soldier’s supposed grave: “Being unaware of this sad fact, and not liking to admit it to a stranger, I stalled until I found out that no one was dead. However, the Frenchman insisted that we visit the grave,”  as Patton recalled in his diary (later published by his widow Beatrice in 1947). 

Upon arriving at the site of the “grave,” Patton discovered that the mayor had led him to a recently filled latrine pit, with a makeshift cross that had the words “‘Abandoned Rear”’ stenciled into it. The French had mistaken the covered lavatory for a field grave! Not knowing how to respond, Patton simply offered his sympathies before leaving Bourg without telling anyone about the true nature of the grave.

Twenty-six years later, in 1943,  General Patton returned to his former Brigade Headquarters in Bourg and was shocked to learn that the “Abandoned Rear Grave” was still being maintained by the local population who viewed the unknown soldier as a national hero. Even after the second visit, Patton admits, “I never told them the truth!” and took the secret to his own grave.

Sources Referenced:

https://www.warhistoryonline.com/world-war-ii/abandoned-rear.html

10 Funny Stories from History that You Never Read in Your School Books

Funny Stories From History Editor: Evan Spry

Filed Under: Historical Figures, History, Humor Tagged With: Elizabeth Shay, Tomb or...Toilet?

The Secret Weapon?

October 19, 2020 by szachik@pvs.org 1 Comment

Editor Evan assigned the Blog Staff the subject of “Funny Stories in History.” Erik went searching, . . . and found a surprising twist to the military supply line during the Korean War.

By Erik Bearman

From 1950 to 1953, the Korean War raged across…well, Korea. In November of 1950, the First Division, led by American General Edward Almond, was pinned down near the Chosin River. Trapped in Korea’s unforgiving landscapes with temperatures reaching below -38℃, the Corps desperately needed additional fire-power. So, the men sent an encoded request for mortar rounds with the code phrase being “Tootsie Rolls.”

However…

The radio operator was a bit of a dingus. He did not have the code sheet that would tell him that “Tootsie Rolls” meant mortar rounds. As a result, instead of acquiring much-needed ammunition, the First Division received actual, chocolate, Tootsie Rolls.  

I know what you must be thinking, “Wow, these guys are screwed!” But, in fact, the Marines were saved! Besides also being a delicious snack, Tootsie Rolls can be used for plugging bullet wounds. And, after being warmed inside their mouths, the Tootsie Rolls could be made into a putty capable of sealing cracks in fuel pipes. Although the package was rather unusual, these Tootsie Rolls provided the soldiers with much needed food and makeshift medical supplies and allowed the First Division to escape the river and continue fighting in the war. After the Korean War ended, the surviving members of the First Division started calling themselves the “Chosin Few.”

Tootsie Rolls | HeadStuff.org

Sources:

https://usmc-mccs.org/articles/how-tootsie-rolls-accidentally-saved-marines-during-war/

headstuff.org

The Veterans Site Blog – GreaterGood

Funny Stories in History Editor: Evan Spry

Filed Under: History, Humor Tagged With: Erik Bearman, The Secret Weapon?

Pizza: It’s A Superfood

December 3, 2018 by szachik@pvs.org 1 Comment

By Luke Langlois, Pizza Enthusiast

 

There are many things that people need to do to maintain the strength of their frail bodies. The most important, as well as difficult, aspect of everyone’s health is their diet. Today, I am offering up a quick strategy to overcome the challenge of consuming healthy meals. Just eat pizza!

According to most qualified people, healthy eating is defined as consuming a variety of foods with a variety of proteins, carbohydrates, and other nutrients with complicated names (calor-WHAT?). The same qualified people typically say that a healthy diet includes the following:  grains, fruits, vegetables, dairies, and meats. Pizza includes all of these things. Let us dive deeper.

The crust is the base of all pizza. Without crust, you have a gloomy, unstructured pile of cheese, sauce, and whatever else you decide to put on your pizza. Without crust, there is no pizza. Besides delivering the delectable tastes to our buds, the crust is a grain, one of the essential food groups. So it begins. Pizza includes one of the five essential food groups.

The tomato sauce is what separates breadsticks from pizza. Any real pizza connoisseur will tell you that the sauce makes or breaks a pizza. Without sauce, again, there is no pizza. Though, more importantly, the sauce is the source of the fruit group. Some people consider tomatoes a fruit, others a vegetable. Either way, it’s essential to your health. I personally recommend that you consider the tomato sauce a fruit. It is much more difficult to add an obscure fruit to your pizza than it is a small vegetable. Regardless, it is now evident that pizza includes THREE of the five essential food groups.

When people think of dairy, they think of cows. When they think of cows, they think of milk, cheese, ice cream, yogurt, or angry vegetarians. Now, here’s a challenge: which of these items is found on our pizza? It’s cheese. Cheese, the expensive fur coat of all pizzas, is another food that is proven to bring you to a state of well-being. It also brings us one group closer to the mythical promised land of five food groups.

Pizza sounds like a superfood already, but it gets better. There are a million different types of meat that can be put on a pizza. Typically, there’s pepperoni, sausage, or ham. But, you do not necessarily have to be typical. Who knows, maybe a nice filet mignon would be a fine pizza topping. Whatever meat you choose to top your pizza with, this final piece of the puzzle proves that pizza is indeed, a superfood.

Eating healthy may appear to be difficult, but the solution is simple. No longer will you have to endlessly browse superfluous social media accounts searching for an impossible meal plan. Just eat pizza. Your cells will thank you.

Editor: Leo Milmet

Filed Under: Advice, Culture, Food, Humor Tagged With: Luke Langlois, Pizza: It's A Superfood

Existentialism at the Third Grade Level

November 14, 2018 by szachik@pvs.org 2 Comments

By Guest Blogger-Editorialist Charles Schnell, Singing “Hello, Dolly!” Too Loudly in the Afterlife

 

The possibility that there is no almighty deity, definitive meaning, or afterlife is a frightening notion, particularly if you’ve been paying for a Netflix subscription all this time.

After taking AP Chemistry for quite a few weeks now, I have come to hope that there is an afterlife, that there is more than this.

Though, when I reach the afterlife, I have a few questions that need some answering before I can start enjoying myself. Firstly, how long has it been since the afterlife was founded? How late is the neighborhood delicatessen open? Will my college debt carry over? Are there more levels of education? Have we gotten a clear lay of the land? How much money are the cartographers making per 1,000 maps? And, of course, is there anything after the afterlife? Is there anything after the afterlife’s afterlife? How many afterlifes are we going to have to go through before we get some peace and quiet? And, on average, what is the cost of quality plumbing in each of them?

Having posed those questions, we must remind ourselves that all of them will be answered eventually. It is of the utmost importance that we try not to worry about the future so much. How could we? There’s too much going on in the present moment to consider what could be, as well as what could have been.

Editor: Luke Langlois

Filed Under: Humor, Op-Ed, Satire Tagged With: Charles Schnell, Existentialism at the Third Grade Level

I’m a Polar Bear in a Snowstorm

November 2, 2018 by szachik@pvs.org Leave a Comment

By Leo Milmet

 

For Ms. McGrew

 

I’m a polar bear in a snowstorm.

I blend in well with all the snow.

Or with a whiteboard.

Or whatever.

My red eyes and green nose, however,

drawn by an obnoxious sixth-grader

on Mrs. McGrew’s whiteboard, don’t really blend in as well.

What, am I a damn Christmas tree?

I hate my red eyes.

I look like a vampire in those god-awful

Twilight movies, or books, or whatever they are.

Y’know what I mean, right?

I want blue eyes.

My best friend Emily — the

Polar bear in a snowstorm to my left — has blue eyes. And she has a gold nose,

regally created for the Hanukkah season.

She’s so much prettier than I am.

She was just drawn yesterday.

I guess our job is to get people in the holiday spirit no matter what holiday we celebrate,

but it’s kinda hard to be in a celebratory mood when you look like a sad, tiny, disjointed wreath.

Whatever though. It’s fine — I,

born of two markers and a Satanic sixth-grader,

am a polar bear in a snowstorm, and a polar bear in a snowstorm I will stay.

I still want Emily’s eyes, though.

I mean, seriously, how hard is it to erase my eyes and redraw them blue? That hard? Really?

Really? Okay, fine. Whatever. You win.

 

Editor: Luke Langlois

Filed Under: Humor, Poetry Tagged With: I'm a Polar Bear in a Snowstorm, Leo Milmet

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We are the Palm Valley Firebirds of Rancho Mirage, California. Join us in our endeavors. Venture through the school year with us, perusing the artwork of our students, community, and staff. Our goal is to share the poems, stories, drawings and photographs, essays and parodies that come out of our school. Welcome aboard!