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The Bird is the Word: Sophisticated Schoolyard Shenanigans

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What Does Valentine’s Day Mean to You?

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By 7th-Grade Poet Morgan Richardson

When wondering how to describe our recent Valentine’s Day, I turned to my classmates for a fresh opinion. I struggled with how to put Valentine’s day/love into one word? Many of the responses were negative and spoke of things such as “Jealousy,” and “Materialistism” ; everyone had a different viewpoint. As I went on interviewing, I kept asking myself the same question: How do you talk about love in one word? I came to the conclusion that Valentine’s Day is celebratory despite what others say. It’s not negative. These poems are inspired by the many opinions and views shared with me on the subject of Valentine’s Day.

I.

Love.

People say it’s an illusion,

Short time comfort 

Filled with jealousy and envy.

Others say it’s materialistic:

Chocolates and candies,

Red roses and jellycat stuffies,

Store bought cards and flowers.

But I think it’s more than that:

A saving grace

Filled with poetic words,

Showing love to the people who matter.

Love–

The meaning of happiness, joy and heartbreak.   

II. 

Cupid’s arrow shot right through my heart,

Blushing and butterflies that’s just the start.

The size of my heart has gone off the charts.

The hair, the face, the voice speak to me like art.

Sweet at first then it’s all tart.

Now it all restarts.

I found someone just my type.

My heart flies like a kite.

This might be the one I really do like.

But there’s a small dislike, tiny and slight;

I know someone better who doesn’t nail-bite.

This one’s not screwed on quite right.

Each one after the next, 

None of them passed my test.

I fear it’s time to reflect.

All this time I’ve spent

Too many regrets.

Now I’ll settle down,

If I can find someone I won’t repent.

What is the secret to relationships that last over 20 years?

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By 7th-Grade Bloggers Soleil Antle and Morgan Richardson

We’ve been thinking about relationships. We thought the real experts of relationships are the ones that are in them–not just a high school boyfriend/girlfriend or even newlyweds–but more so people who have been through it all with over 20 years of relationship experience. Our parents, Jim and Elizabeth Richardson, Paul and Renee Antle, and Morgan’s family friends Ted and Kate, were the perfect candidates for interviewing on the subject of lasting relationships.

–Soleil and Morgan

Paul and Renee love enjoying date nights at their favorite restaurants every Friday. Photo Credit: Soleil Antle

My parents, Paul and Renee Antle, have been together for 35 years. When wondering how they knew their partner was “the one,” my mom Renee replied, “I knew he was the one because he was kind, and super intelligent, and taught me how to laugh again.” When an argument occurs between the two, they try to understand what may have caused the fight, and try to take responsibility if they were hurtful or in the wrong. Mom and Dad say the secret to a long-lasting relationship is “Honesty” and “patience.”  Dad said, “Don’t expect perfection; that’s not what marriage is.”

–Soleil Antle

Jim and Elizabeth in snazzy outfits, enjoyed themselves at the Palm Valley School Gala.  

My parents, Jim and Elizabeth Richardson, have been married for 20 years, and have two daughters, Louisa and me. Dad, when asked, “How did you know your partner was the one?”  responded, “She embodied all the things that I wanted in one person.” When in a disagreement, they give each other some quiet time and try to put themselves in their partner’s shoes. Mom, when asked for relationship advice, responded, “Pick your battles; don’t ever think you can change someone.” Mom and Dad said the secret to a happy marriage is “Forgiveness.” 

–Morgan Richardson

Kate and Ted in the middle of winter wear cozy sweaters and matching hats to escape the frigid cold and embrace their coupleness.

We interviewed Richardson family friends, Kate and Ted, who have shared their love for 45 years. Kate exclaimed, “That’s 315 dog years!” We saw how much they mean to each other. Ted said he knew Kate was the one at age 27 because he only felt happy and healthy around her. Kate explained what getting over arguments takes.  “Getting over arguments takes compromise, and also, understanding that the other person isn’t wrong; she/he feels differently about the issue and sees things differently. That takes a long time to develop and understand.” The two said, “Do not lose your temper; that’s really scary for the other person. And, don’t live beyond your means because that one thing alone can put stress on everything else in a marriage.”

–Morgan and Soleil 

After reviewing the knowledge from these three couples, we have learned that relationships take effort to be successful. Both partners need to support each other and work as a team, especially when children are involved.

Inspired by these heartwarming responses, Morgan created a love poem. 

I love you, he said,

A big heart painted red

A white gown and golden rings,

Wedding band, one blue thing.

Patient and kind

Love never died.

In sickness and in health,

Your love is my greatest wealth.

My heart will always be with you,

My cheeks turn a red hue.

I love you, he said,

Together forever and till the end

Valentine’s Day. What’s the Point?

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By 8th-Grader Jackie Padgett

Lots of people associate Valentine’s day with love, hearts, chocolate, and those little candy hearts everyone gets. But what’s the backstory of it? Surprisingly it is as happy and candy associated. 

How did this start? 

Valentine’s Day has been around for a long time and has been celebrated in many different ways. It includes a mix of Christian and ancient Roman history. Some say Canterbury Tales author Geoffrey Chaucer gets credit. If you didn’t know (surprisingly not everyone did) the full name of the holiday is Saint Valentine’s Day. Who is Saint Valentine? Well, the Catholic Church has multiple martyr saints who go by the name Valentine (Britannica). One of the stories says that Valentine was a priest who worked during the 3rd century when Claudius II of Rome ruled. Cladius II thought that men who didn’t have families or wives were better soldiers, so he banned young men from getting married. Valentine thought this wasn’t right, so he secretly helped young couples get married. He was soon ratted out and executed (History). Another story says that Valentine (another priest under Claudius, but this one was imprisoned), wrote letters to the jailer’s daughter and signed his name as “Your Valentine.” Other versions say he was an imprisoned bishop and healed the jailer’s daughter from blindness then wrote her letters (Britannica). 

Traditions around the World

In America, people celebrate Valentine’s Day by gifting chocolates, writing letters/cards, making a nice flower bouquet, or going out to a nice dinner, sometimes even presenting a loved one with nice new jewelry. Celebrations of love occur around the world. Come with me to see the variety of love tokens. In Argentina, they don’t really celebrate Valentine’s Day, but they do have a July “week of sweetness” (Travel Triangle). Couples go out on dates and give each other chocolates. In Korea, people celebrate days of love every 14th of the month, and every month has a different “ theme.” For example, December 14th is the day of hugs. Ghana decided to change Valentine’s Day to national chocolate day. They get tourists to come and visit the restaurants and performances all based on chocolate. In Bulgaria, they celebrate San Trifon Zartan (Day of Winemakers) on the 1st and 14th of February, where they enjoy a nice glass of wine with their loved ones. The men in Spain, for Saint Dionysus Day, will make their partner a macadora, a little figurine made out of marzipan. [Can you find a picture?] These figures get gifted on October 8th. If you’ve ever felt lonely on Valentine’s Day, Estonia has you covered. On February 14th they celebrate a friends and family version of Valentine’s Day. Don’t worry–couples are included as well. In Japan, the women have to buy all the gifts for their partner, and the partner can return the favor a couple months later. Finally, Wales celebrates in a very interesting way. On February 25th, couples exchange handcrafted wooden spoons as a gesture of love. 

An example of handcrafted spoons related to the Wales tradition. (I absolutely love this. It’s strange but in a good way, it’s special.) Photo Source: Travel Triangle

Short and Sweet Surveys–

I was curious as to what our school thought of Valentine’s Day, so I asked a few Palm Valley teachers and students the following questions:

1. What are your opinions on Valentine’s day?

2. What do you think the “point” of Valentine’s Day is?

They surprisingly had very varied opinions. 

Freshman Louisa Richardson is surprisingly suspicious of couples who join together right before Valentine’s Day.

“Valentine’s Day is impeccably overrated for couples who have just started dating a few weeks before. However, that is not always the case, but usually it is. For couples who have been dating more than a week, they can celebrate Valentine’s Day just fine. Buy the chocolate. Otherwise it makes me a little suspicious. It’s all a little too convenient.“

Louisa Richardson

Mr. Hesson, one of our math teachers, shares a very thoughtful answer. 

“I’ve never much liked this holiday. When you’re single, it’s meaningless at best and miserable at worst. But even when you’re in a relationship, it tends to feel more like an obligation than a real reason to celebrate being in love. In my relationships, the anniversary was always the important day, the day when I would get excited about finding the perfect gift and planning the perfect day. Birthdays could be like this too. But on Valentine’s, the celebration was always pretty forgettable – a nice dinner, a fancy dessert, or some other bland pseudo-romantic indulgence.
“I believe that the purpose of holidays is deeply personal, and that each of us should enjoy whatever celebrations we find meaningful. If some people value Valentine’s and use it to celebrate love with genuine gratitude and joy, then it could be a great thing for them. But I would imagine for many it serves no real purpose.
People often decry this holiday for being overly commercialized too. And yeah, it is. They all are. It doesn’t really bother me in this case. It would be nice if more of our celebrations could be dislodged from the machinery of business and capital, but that’s difficult to achieve in this country, and V-day is no more egregious in its commercialization than any of the other major holidays.”

Mr. Hesson

6th Grader Millie Flemings answers simply:

“Personally I like Valentines, and I think of it more as a way to show your appreciation to people as a holiday for love.”

Millie Flemings

One of my favorite responses comes from one of our history teachers, Mr. Satterfield. 

“Valentine’s Day, like any other holiday, is what you make of it. Critics will tell you that it is over-commercialized, that it puts pressure on those who are in relationships, and that it excludes those who are not. All of this is true, and the day can be a bleak one for many. 

“Even so, you don’t have to go buy an overpriced gift of dubious utility. You don’t have to out-do last year. And you don’t have to wallow in loneliness. Instead, you can use Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to show someone how much you love them in whatever way you see fit (even if that person is yourself). That doesn’t have to cost a cent — it simply requires a thoughtful assessment of what your special person wants. More often than we realize, what that person really wants is time — quality time, uninterrupted and undistracted — with you.”

Mr. Satterfield

I don’t have too many strong opinions on Valentine’s Day myself, but the raspberry milk chocolates that arrive from See’s Candies are something I look forward to every year. I might even add spoon making to my calendar now. 

Fun fact– if you want to see Saint Valentines in person, you can! His skull is supposedly in a church in Cosmedin, Rome (National Geographic).  

What do you think about this holiday? Tell me in the comments!

Found: The Worst Relationship Advice on the Internet

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By Senior Gil Maruvada

We started the year with “How-To Relationships.” Gil mused on the subject for so long, we almost . . . abandoned his contribution. But, the junior class, saw Gil’s headline on the board under “Posts in the Works.” They clamored for the publication of the post. They wanted to know what was the worst relationship advice out there. Love Doctor Gil, flattered by their interest, finished the post. Here it is, late for its deadline, but ready wwaaaaayyy before Valentine’s Day.

Hi folks. Lots of relationship advice is out there, just floating around. Sometimes you have that one friend or relative who gives it to you unsolicited even though you never asked and you just want them to shut up because why do they think they are in any position to give advice and now the situation is devolving into an awkward mess where you try and explain to them exactly how uninformed they sound and you just want them to leave you alone. You know who you are, James. 

But a lot of that strange unsolicited advice is on the internet as well. I’m compiling for you some of the worst relationship advice on the internet. Now “worst” is an entirely subjective measure, so first we will be going through what people say is the worst relationship advice ever given to them. 

Let’s start with some threads from Quora and Reddit where people talk about the worst relationship advice that they have ever received. (But let’s keep in mind that attention-seeking, “like”-maximizing behavior on the internet could mean that some people exaggerate or completely fabricate bad relationship advice for internet points.) Quora user Dushka Zapata who has amassed a total of 260k followers and 9.1k answers on Quora since 2015 has compiled a list of 24 pieces of the worst relationship advice she has heard. The list goes as follows:

  • Your soulmate is out there!
  • You are too picky.
  • He should make the first move.
  • Play hard to get.
  • Remain a mystery.
  • Intelligent women are a threat so let him feel he has the answers.
  • If it’s not headed towards marriage you are wasting your time.
  • If he is jealous it means he loves you.
  • If he is possessive it means he loves you.
  • If he is abusive it means he loves you.
  • Buying a house together will save your relationship.
  • Get married. It will save your relationship.
  • Have a kid. It will save your relationship.
  • Give it time. He will change.
  • If you love him, change for him.
  • Watch him like a hawk.
  • Your significant other should be your highest, only priority.
  • He should be your everything.
  • Don’t rock the boat.
  • Don’t go to bed angry.
  • Love hurts.
  • Love means sacrifice.
  • Love is enough.
  • Love conquers all.

(What is the worst relationship advice you have received or overheard?)

The problems with this advice are derived from it being a mix of empty platitudes, red flags, ideas that are simply false, and “solutions” that don’t solve anything. Other pieces of bad relationship advice on Reddit are similar to things on this list. If you are interested, I encourage you to check out “[Serious] What’s the worst relationship advice you’ve ever heard?” on Reddit or any number of similar threads and look for hidden gems or things you disagree with.

Now let’s talk about what actual “experts” have to say about the topic. (I don’t have a good reason to put experts in quotes, but the general distrust of anyone with a modicum of authority or experience is the new trendy “in” thing, kids). In order to do this, let’s look at “6 experts share the worst piece of relationship advice they’ve ever heard,” written by Shana Lebowitz, a correspondent of Business Insider. One piece of advice in here that stood out to me was the challenge to the idea that “honesty is the best policy.” This is an understandable challenge but surprising because you hear this platitude so much. As our blog teacher Ms. Zachik said, “I think lying is really key in a relationship.” 

In general, I personally think that most relationship advice on the internet is bad relationship advice. Given the internet’s track record, I don’t think it’s really safe to trust it. Plus with algorithms working to erode our sense of community and our place in the world, always making us more isolated in order to make it easier to market to us, the advice that rises to the top might not be high quality. Internet advice is less like cream of the crop and more like dead fish that floated to the surface.

In conclusion, the world is already an Orwellian corporate surveillance state monitoring your every move and thought and constantly trying to make sure you behave and stay obedient so that they can sell your most personal secrets to the highest bidder. Remember, 2+2=5, trust the government completely, and if you don’t hear from me again it’s because I’ve been unpersoned.

Advice Across the Ages: How to be in a Relationship 

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By Freshman Louisa Richardson

One of the perks about being at a school like Palm Valley is that we go all the way from preschool to high-school seniors. This means, with all these ages, interviewing is really fun. I have found with past surveys that the answers to questions vary quite a lot depending on the age of the interviewee. When asking a rather silly question (at least in the little ones’ eyes) like, “Do you have any relationship advice,” kids usually start  with a few giggles; whereas angry teenagers usually start with an eye roll. I asked a large group of kids, little ones to teenagers, the same question, Do you have  relationship advice for new couples? I started with 4th graders, and worked my way up. Some responses were refreshingly wholesome, and some were outright disturbing.  

Blogger Louisa

Asked: What relationship advice do you have for a new couple?

And, Answered:

“Keep like a friend!” 

This response came from a little girl named Jasmine Linthreum. A sweet 4th grader, who, when I asked her class if anyone wanted to answer, raised her hand really high with a big smile on her face.  This response was very heartwarming. 

“First, keep a really safe distance before you act, and make sure you always keep a ring, just in case.”

Luke McDaniel answered with this delightful response; he is in fourth grade and took my question very seriously. He seemed to enjoy answering.  

“Just tell the person you like to look up, down, to the side, and to the other side, then down again, then grab their chin and kiss ‘em! It worked for me.”

Sheldon Kirsch seems to know a lot about relationships. The fourth grader was extremely confident in his answer; his was the most mature answer in his class–even if his response might not work for the high schoolers. 

“They should do a date every week!  And, they should text each other during class, but only if they’re allowed. OH OHH make sure you say you love each other on Instagram!!”

Anna Boutine was one of the most enthused kids I asked; she seemed to have a lot of ideas. 

“Try to get to know each other and be honest with each other.” 

Cleo Antle (fifth grade) here gave some very good advice, with no giggles beforehand.  I think we all can learn something from Cleo’s response.  

“Don’t change yourself for anybody.”

This response comes from a delightful Sophia after about five minutes of giggles. 

“Don’t rush it and take it slow, and be really careful. Also don’t do a reality tv show; I’ve seen what it does to people.”

Mikel Lomsky is the most mature person I have interviewed in any class. His response is very accurate and wise. He is in the fifth grade. 

“Just get to know each other before dating.”

Reagan Kaminsky here burst out laughing when I asked her my question.  It was very interesting to compare the differences between her and Mikel, as they were sitting right next to each other, in the same grade, same class, and yet their initial reactions are so different.  

“Don’t rush and make sure everything is consensual.”

Bella Lua here seems to know what she’s talking about as she is in a relationship.  She was very mature. In comparison to the other kids in the eighth grade that I interviewed, she definitely took this question seriously. 

“Lick her earlobes, and uhh treat yo girl with pure kindness and make sure to comfort her.”

Raven Sayers (eighth grade) here is definitely right about the last part. 

“Don’t pick someone high maintenance. Don’t buy gifts; keep your money.”

Caleb Kassinove (freshman) is absolutely right. He gave a very mature response.

“Do I look like I know anything about relationships?”

Brooklyn Hatrak (freshman) seems like she’s speaking from experience.

“The honeymoon phase doesn’t last forever.”

Olivia Puetz couldn’t be more correct. She is a freshman in high school and seems like she’s already sick of all the public displays of affection. 

“No, I don’t have any relationship advice!!”

Ally Bankers (senior) delivered this response over paper, but she certainly wrote aggressively. I would call this response immature, but she may just not be happy to see me. 

“Don’t get in one; it ruins sports and your grades. Be really careful and learn how to balance it.”
Arsh Rehman had one of the most mature responses of his class. He is a senior. 

“Listen, forgive, and explain your feelings accurately.”
Mr. Satterfield was very mature, and gave an accurate response. 

“Be nice and always open minded.”

Jasmine Grace, LS Administrative Assistant, delivered this response with the appropriate amount of seriousness.

After having interviewed at least two people from a wide variety of ages, I have come to the conclusion that relationship wisdom really just depends on the person and their personal experience. Although I got a lot of giggles from the lower schoolers, I also got a lot of giggles from the seniors. As for maturity, I can confidently say that the teachers I asked were definitely the most serious. I think the levels of maturity really vary depending on the person, but once you get past the age of around twenty, you become much more serious. Thank you to all the kids and adults I interviewed!

I love you, but that one thing you do . . .

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Taking inspiration from a Poets&Writers prompt, I asked our writers at The Bird on Fire to compose a poem about a specific detail or unexpected obsession of a loved one. Alyna and Penny had delightful, dark(?), and illuminating responses.

Blog Advisor Zachik

An “I-Love-You, But . . .” Poem by Upper-Schooler Alyna Rei

I love you but

I find it weird when you let a disgusting cockroach go out rather than “erasing it”

I love you but

I find it annoying when you cut me off when I’m talking

I love you but 

I find it offensive when you don’t “save room for dessert”

I love you but

I find it rude when you make fun of me for being “shy”

I love you but

I find it upsetting when you make me uncomfortable

I love you but you are not it

Sister, a Poem by Middle-Schooler Penny Andreas

I Love you, but when you don’t shut my door after opening it i feel like slamming the door on you. I love you, but when you talk non-stop, I really want to put duct tape on your mouth. 

I love you, but when you steal my clothes I feel the need to burn yours. I really love you, but when you make rambunctious noises at 5:30 AM, I am tempted to lock you outside 🙂

What’s Love?

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By AI and Luke Sonderman

I asked bloggers to define that slippery concept “love.” Luke turned to AI. The result was “Blah.” Then, Luke went Luke-ish. His poem is not a love missive most want to receive, but it’s original.

Blog Advisor Zachik

Love according to AI: 

Love is a fire that burns within,

A force that knows no end or sin,

It binds two souls with gentle touch,

And fills their hearts with love so much.

Love is a melody sweetly sung,

A symphony that never becomes unsung,

It brings together hearts and minds,

And leaves all else far behind.

Love is a flower that blooms and grows,

A fragrance that always flows,

It lifts us up and makes us whole,

And warms the coldest, loneliest soul.

Love is a treasure that we hold,

A story that will always be told,

It’s the magic that lights up our days,

And forever in our hearts, it stays.

Love according to Luke:

Love is being right. 

There is nothing better than being right.

Whether being right makes someone else cry,

And especially when it makes someone else say “I am wrong,”

Love is being right.

Some people say “It’s not about being right, it’s about being nice.”

Those people are what I like to call LOSERS.

Do you want to be a loser?

No.

Be a winner.

Be Right.

If anyone knows what love feels like, it’s me. 

Because I am ALWAYS RIGHT.

Ask anyone, they’ll tell you. 

So the next time you feel down or lonely. Maybe unloved.

Scoot your way into an argument and WIN.

You can trust me. I am ALWAYS right.

What’s Love?

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I was in my writing group. And, we fell to defining love.

As long as we’ve had language, we’ve been trying to put “love” into words–and often failing. But, we know instinctively when we get it right. My fellow writers turned to the sages and dramatists and poets of time for definitions of “love.” I turned to my own sages–the Blog Staff. 

The following is junior Levi Kassinove’s reply.

— Blog Advisor Zachik

When the stars darken,
Few remaining question,
If what they see is what it is,
And if what it is is really what it’s supposed to be.
When all is assimilated,
Ideas are never braved,
Except by love. 
It is the anchor to the ship,
To keep the ship from floating away,
To madness and wrongness. 
It is the connection to all that’s compassionate
But a connection at most
For nothing is the same
But everything is okay

Levi Kassinove

The Science of When You Have a Crush on Someone

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Editor Quintus loves to talk about love. So, he assigned the staff write about it. Just in time for Valentine’s Day, Katelin explains what happens physiologically when we crush.

By Katelin Slosky

Having a crush can be a wonderful thing. Remember the feeling of butterflies, the nervousness when you are around the object of your crush, or the fact that they make you smile? Also, having a crush can be a dangerous thing. Your moods are less likely to be stable; you may make irrational decisions because of them, and you will most likely feel much more anxious. Here are the reasons for these emotions.

Four key chemicals increase or diminish in our bodies when we’re in a state of infatuation:

  1. Cortisol: This is your body’s main stress hormone.
  2. Dopamine: This is one of the chemicals that makes you happily seek out pleasure.
  3. Norepinephrine: This chemical improves your memory and makes you highly excitable.
  4. Serotonin: This stabilizes your mood. A lack of serotonin can cause such things as depression or anxiety

When you have a crush on someone, your serotonin drops, your cortisol increases, your brain makes dopamine, and in return, produces norepinephrine. All the chemicals that make you anxious and energetic flow, and the one that keeps you stable ebbs–which explains why you feel jittery, happy one moment, sad the next, like not getting out of bed, and then like dancing out the door.

Love Editor: Quintus Ni

Shaking Bridge Effect–an intriguing love technique.

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When Editor Quintus assigned us the theme of “Love,” James thought of Shaking Bridges. . . .

By James Zheng

There are plenty of interesting and bizarre psychological effects that appear really paradoxical but they actually turn out to be pretty intuitive. I remember one such psychological effect, the Shaking Bridge Effect–which should be taken into account as a representative effect pertaining to the core topic of Editor Quintus’s theme, love.  

The Shaking Bridge Effect usually occurs in a specific circumstance, which is when one rigorously walks through a shaking bridge. That experience would accelerate the heartbeat and unsettle the individual. At this moment, if the individual coincidentally (or deliberately) encounters another person, the individual would misperceive the current situation. The individual would misunderstand his/her accelerated heartbeat as the presence of his/her affection towards that person. So, falling in love is like when you are coming across the shaking bridge, and your heart is beating fast, and all of a sudden you see someone in your sight, you basically see this “heart beating” as a reaction to the “person” instead of the “shaking effect.” And eventually, this will root the seed of love in the bridge walker’s mind.

This psychological effect is proposed by Arthur Aron, who is a professor of psychology at the State University of New York at Stony Brook. He is best known for his work on intimacy in interpersonal relationships and development of the self-expansion model of motivation in close relationships. Coming back to the Shaking Bridge Effect, the premise  basically tells us a dangerous or stimulating situation could enhance the mutual relationship.

There is a famous experiment projected by Aron. The suspension bridge is 450 feet long and 5 feet wide. This suspension bridge has been suspended over the 230-foot high valley of the Kapolano river with two pieces of hemp rope and fragrant wood. The suspension bridge swings back and forth, which is not only exciting, but also frightening. The team asked a beautiful young woman to stand in the middle of the bridge, waiting for men between the ages of 18 and 35 who had no female companion to cross the bridge. She was directed to tell the men who crossed the bridge that she hoped they would participate in an ongoing survey. She asked them several questions and recorded their results.

Then, the same experiment was carried out on another ordinary bridge that spans a stream but is only 10 feet tall. The same beautiful lady showed the same questionnaire to the men crossing the bridge.

As a result, the men walking across the suspension bridge thought the woman was more beautiful, and about half of the men later asked for her phone number. And, for males crossing the stable bridge, only two of the 16 males asked for her phone number.

Researchers believe that, unlike people’s common sense, individual emotional experience is not formed spontaneously because of their own experiences; it is a two-stage process of self perception. In this process, people first experience their own physiological feelings, and then, in the surrounding environment, they will find a suitable explanation for their physiological feelings. For example, according to the shaking bridge theory, in the process of emotional experience, people first feel that their physiological performance is different from that in the usual time; their heart rate is accelerating, and their hands are shaking a little. Next, they will involuntarily observe the environment to find clues to explain why their physiological performance happens.

And based on that, this effect reveals a fact which this technique could trigger in any circumstances that are different from usual and lead us to want to obtain a reasonable explanation for it. However, this provokes another conclusion: in real life, there may be different but reasonable explanations for the same physiological performance. Sometimes, it is difficult for people to determine which factor causes their physiological performance. Because it is difficult to accurately point out the real reason of their physiological performance, people might have a wrong understanding of emotions. In psychological terms, scholars call the process of people making wrong inferences about their feelings as “misattribution of arousal.”

Finally, to summarize everything in a simplistic way, when you like someone secretly, don’t worry whether that person likes you or not, maybe you just need to take them on a walk on an unstable bridge.

Love Editor: Quintus Ni