You Are My Light Archives - the bird on fire

Who Better to Talk about Friendship than Your Teammate?

August 22, 2025 by szachik@pvs.org Leave a Comment

By Soleil Antle

When writing about friendship advice, Soleil thought who better to ask than her gymnastics teammates, a group of teenage girls as thick as thieves. These girls train countless hours in the gym, being each others’ biggest supporters and helping each other with any and every task. But, what advice do they have themselves about building a strong friendship?

Question: What advice do you have for building strong friendships?

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Ava P:

“The advice I have is to always speak honestly; the best thing you can do is tell the truth. Also make sure you are there to support and listen to the other person as much as possible. But most importantly be honest. It’s also good to make sure you keep in contact with them. You don’t have to see someone everyday, you can text or call your friend as long as you have a way to communicate.”

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Quinn:

“Respect people for who they are and don’t judge them for doing things differently than you do. To build a strong friendship with someone you would want to feel comfortable being yourself when you are with them. For me especially when I’m with my teammates at gymnastics I feel comfortable as I know we all respect each other for who we are, even if we have different opinions on things.

Even though some of my teammates are a lower [gymnastics] level than me, I still choose to treat them with the same respect as someone in my own level. Whether you’re in level 4 or 10 it doesn’t impact the person you are, friendship shouldn’t be defined by your status.”

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Ava I:

“A strong friendship is built on kindness, honesty, and trust–being there for your friend, listening when they need to talk, and making time to have fun together. When both people care and put in the effort, the friendship grows stronger.”

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Lindsay:

“My advice on being in a strong friendship is to be honest and be yourself. Don’t change who you are so that you can have a strong friendship and pretend you like things the other person likes to have a stronger bond. Be true to yourself and who you are. Be open and honest about how you feel. A friendship is stronger if you are open and honest with the other person about how you are feeling. It is always easier to talk things out than to be dishonest and potentially hurt the friendship and bond you have created.”

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Zoe:

“A piece of advice I have for building strong relationships is to show empathy. Showing up for someone and trying to understand their situation is something only a true friend would do and helps create a strong friendship. This creates a strong friendship because it proves that even in tough times you know that you have each other’s backs. A strong friendship is built through consistency and trust. Continuing to show up for your friends time and time gains their trust. If your friends know you are there for them, and can trust you, that is a real, genuine and strong relationship.”

When you have a team as strong as this one, so well connected with a genuine bond, it shows that these little things matter. Friendship isn’t about the title: it’s about being each other’s biggest support, comfort, and joy. Every single one of these girls loves each other, and it’s evident as they are always willing to listen or help one another in a difficult time. I don’t know how many times these girls have given me pep talks or helped me with a skill, but I do know our friendships are a forever bond that’s rare to have. — Soleil

Fellow gymnasts and Soleil at a team dinner exchanging Secret Santa gifts.

Lindsay and Soleil on a paddleboarding excursion after practice.

Never do these things in your relationships

September 15, 2023 by szachik@pvs.org Leave a Comment

Oliver’s post is the first in our series on Forbidden Things – stay tuned for forbidden foods, forbidden places, and surprise forbidden Indy things. Follow Oliver’s advice in “Things to Never Do in a Relationship” and you may avoid painful mistakes with that best friend, pet, or with your mother.
–Instructor Zachik

By Oliver Martinez

Have you ever done something to your friend, or your mom, or your pet—maybe as a joke, or by accident, or on purpose–and then you realize that your loved one kind of hates you for it ? Well, here are seven things never to do in your relationships . . . because who wants to be hated?

Don’t Do This to Your Friends

1. Leave your friend hanging

This is just cruel. Making plans and never showing up is pure evilness. After this, don’t expect to be talking to your friend for at least the next week or so. And, it’s even worse when you don’t give them a heads-up that you won’t be showing up. You just don’t show up at all, and now your friend won’t talk to you.

2. Leave your friend on “read”

What’s worse than leaving your friend’s text message on “delivered”?

When you read their message and decide not to respond.

Now, I speak from personal experience. I have been left on “read” and left others on “read ,” too. And, I can see why it’s annoying. Reading someone’s text and just deciding it’s not worth twenty-five seconds of your life to respond can lead to hurt feelings. Now, maybe your friend won’t stop talking to you for this, but they definitely will point it out the next time you hang out with them.

3. Prank your friend

Now, I’m not talking about those little pranks, like joking with your friends or just messing with them. I’m talking about those types of pranks where you throw their phone into a river or throw eggs at them. Those pranks are the ones that make your friend hate you, and “it’s just a joke” won’t fix the situation. Thankfully, for this one, I do not speak from personal experience. I’ve seen it happen, but it hasn’t happened to me.

Don’t Do This With Your Pets

4. Forget to give them their usual treat

Pets are smarter than they seem. They remember the routine of you giving them their usual treat. And, when you forget, they will remind you. And, by reminding you, I mean they will bark at you until you give them their treat. Here, I do speak from personal experience.

5. Put pet clothing on them

Pets hate when you put clothing on them. During the winter, we used to put a little sweater on one of my dogs because we thought she would be cold. But I guess one day she had enough of the sweater and found a way to take it off. She ripped it to shreds. From then on, we didn’t put clothes on my dog anymore. Besides, experts say that dressing up your dog “could cause painful rubbing against a dog’s skin, as well as causing them to potentially overheat and get stressed” (Prima.co.uk). So, whatever you do, don’t dress up your dog.

With Family Members, Remember, Don’t . . .

6. “Forget” to do your chores

Whether you actually forgot to take out the trash or you were just not feeling like it, parents –most of the time– get pretty mad if you don’t do your chores. I think that what annoys them most is knowing that we can easily do our chores but decide not to because we’re lazy. I would recommend at least giving a valid reason on why you couldn’t do your chores.

7. “Forget” to clean your room

This one technically comes under the umbrella of “not doing your chores,” but it’s such a problem that it’s in its own category. Are you ever just relaxing in your room and then your parents walk in and realize it’s a mess? Well, I know this has happened to the vast majority of us. And, parents get really upset when our room isn’t clean and tidy. I understand why they get angry, but at the same time, does my room really look that bad if I forget to make the bed one day? Or if I have two or three water bottles in my nightstand? Well, the point is, clean your room to make your parents happy.

Truth is, it’s impossible to keep everyone happy. At a certain point in time, you will say or do something dumb and your friends and family will briefly hate you for it. Best thing to do is to just make the mistakes and learn from them.

If you weren’t here

April 26, 2023 by szachik@pvs.org Leave a Comment

Luke asked here in Blog: “If you could erase anyone, who would you erase?” That’s a little dark, yes. But, like the storyline of It’s a Wonderful Life, it is intriguing to ask What would life be like without . . . Jimmy Stewart? the missing link? Lana Del Rey? or your best friend? This week, the Blog Staff pursues this What If. Penny starts us off with a poem considering life without her best friend.
Blog Advisor Zachik

By Middle-School Blogger Poet Penny Andreas

When I first met you,

It was awkward.

Really awkward.

There was long silences

Really long silences.

And uncomfortable laughs,

Lots of them.

But after a couple minutes,

I guess I could say we clicked.

Even though I have known you for not even a year,

It was almost like I knew you my whole life…

Almost.

Every now and then,

You would say something absurd,

Or really weird.

Even when there were a lot of people

It always seemed I could notice you anywhere.

But if you weren’t here,

I don’t know what I’d do.

If you weren’t here,

I would have no one to text.

If you weren’t here,

I wouldn’t have anyone to tell secrets,

Or complain about assignments or homework.

If you weren’t here,

I would still be trying to memorize everyone’s names.

If you weren’t here,

I’d miss the random things you’d do in class.

If you weren’t here,

I wouldn’t be writing about you.

If you weren’t here…

Where would I be?