By Evan Spry

When Editor Elizabeth proposed the theme of Food and Drink, Blogger Evan Spry looked across the pond to the cuisine of England that he grew up with.

Growing up with an English father and grandparents, I was subjected to a certain subtle culture that governed the kitchen and dining room. My father was born in England; however, he moved out of the county at a very young age because his father, my grandfather, needed to move constantly for work. This meant that my dad moved all around the country, never settling down for more than two years. My dad dropped the cool part of being English, the accent, but kept the strict ways of the proper English eating culture. My dad and his parents were very different though; my dad grew up well-traveled while his parents grew up in a much more secluded environment. My grandparents kept the traditions that they grew up with. This led to my grandfather having a very strange and particular taste in food. He wouldn’t eat meat unless it was wildly overcooked, and spices like garlic and herbs did not need to be used because of the perfectly sufficient salt or pepper. For the first thirteen years of my life I would go on vacation to Florida at their house for Thanksgiving or winter break. I actually loved my grandma’s cooking; however, this was mostly because of her vast inventory of desserts. Her desserts were culinary perfections in my book. I do remember though that the meat was always overcooked and dry. It would need to be drenched in gravy and mixed with the smushed roasted potatoes. Eventually, I got used to dry meat and unseasoned sides and enjoyed it all very much. My dad would tell me stories about how his mom didn’t use garlic or any good spice for most of his life. 

After my grandfather passed away, my grandmother moved back to England. She moved to a nursing home in a town that she and my grandfather lived in for years before. Now to visit Grandma we needed to go to England. I had never gone to England before my grandma moved back there, so it was exciting getting to see some of my family’s culture. Prior to going to England, I had heard from my dad plenty of times that most English food was atrocious in taste and sight, but all I could think about was my grandma’s amazing desserts. Unfortunately, I quickly learned why my dad and many other people don’t like English food. The main problem is the lack of a middle ground. You can either go out and get pub food, or you can go to an expensive restaurant that serves that gross kind of cuisine with foams and super small portions. 

The English aren’t completely at fault however. Unfortunately for them, they were involved in some pretty serious world wars in the early to mid- twentieth century. This caused the English and the rest of Britain to implement severe food-rationing programs for decades. “From 1940 to 1954, the priority for British cooks was not pleasure, but survival, and so an entire generation adapted to powdered eggs, canned food, and one single type of gross bread” (theoutline.com). This aforementioned bread was called “National Loaf.” National loaf was disgusting. It was grey and hated by most because of its taste. The bread was made of wholemeal flour and was more economical in terms of shipping and wheat depletion. On top of gross bread, the British had to eat lots of canned food. Where do you think the English got their love of baked beans from? This led to a basic, bland, and unhealthy diet that was used for decades. This diet is still very popular in most of England. 

Another problem with British food and British restaurants in general is the lack of development of more diverse ethnic cuisine. Sure they have great Indian food, but I found that French, Italian, and Asian restaurants were sparser than in America. Oh and please, for the love of God, do not try British Mexican food. If there were more options besides curry and fish n’ chips, I think the middle ground of British cuisine would expand immensely and there would be a much tastier variety of food. Something that is also super weird about Britain that my family and I encountered was the lack of ice used in beverages. If you got a drink, you wouldn’t get any ice in it. And if you did ask for ice, you would get one ice cube. I remember one time, my mom depleted a pub’s ice reserves for her iced tea. Secondly, let’s get on the topic of lemonade. Somehow, the British don’t know what actual lemonade is. Their lemonade is Sprite, or some other sparkling lemonade. Arnold Palmers are my favorite drink, and the English villagers thought I was a crazy man. However, they were more nice and curious than judgmental. 

In the end, all English food just reminds me of my grandparents. So I can’t truly hate it. Just beware that their beef tastes weird because they treat their cows like they deserve to be treated–free roaming and grass-fed. Don’t even try ordering medium-rare; you’ll get it gray with maybe a tiny bit of coloration, if you’re lucky. Say goodbye to the lemonade that you know so well. Be ready for potatoes and boiled vegetables; be ready for bland with a hint of salt or pepper; be ready for no spicy food anywhere unless you go to an Indian restaurant or a Thai restaurant (which you can only find in bigger cities). I love you, Britain,  and always will, but please just try something new on the table.

Sources Referenced:

Main: https://theoutline.com/post/8586/why-is-british-food-so-bad?zd=1&zi=lgf7rnql

National Loaf:  Richard W. Lacey (1994). Hard to Swallow: A Brief History of Food. Cambridge University Press. pp. 108–9. ISBN 9780521440011. 

Food & Drink Editor: Elizabeth Shay