By 8th-Grade Blogger Soleil Antle
Our PVS bloggers wanted to explore emotions. Soleil turned to verse. She’s capturing an exchange that happened recently, an exchange that prompted layers of emotions–including, and most strikingly, sadness.
When I think of a strong emotion, sadness comes to mind, the aches and pains, without the blood or the scrapes, a constant reminder of regrets that dangle over your head, like a moment you missed that could’ve changed your life. Your efforts to move past that grief and despair create a hole so large that only greater pain can make an impact. You don’t know how much you love something until you can’t have it. For me, the heartache and sadness occurred in a missed conversation.
An original poem for people who have regrets when talking to a loved one–by Soleil Antlle
The nothingness I feel in my lungs
Conspires against what once was.
Words pour outside your mouth
Not ones I listen to, but ignore.
Your presence annoys me.
I’m not sure why,
But in the end I’m not the same.
Wrinkles fade as smiles turn into frowns.
Hurt, confusion as you look at me.
My sassy smirk of a face grins.
Memories of you holding my hands,
Teaching me to fold, hugging me tight,
Those boastful moments you had about me–
I don’t care; it's ancient history.
You look at me and see a toddler,
Though I’ve changed.
Still you imagine my old actions,
A little one who loved so deep.
I’ve moved on to a new journey,
One too hard for you to climb.
The thoughts of you hold me back,
But I yearn for one thing as I leave–
A conversation of sentimental exchange,
One where I tell you I love you,
Though I never did get that conversation
As I drove away watching you wipe your tears.
The same depth of emotion that makes it so hard for people to hide their feelings is also what frightens them when trying to reveal their heartbreaking vehemence. For me, not being able to have that single conversation has kept me thinking of what could’ve been in those moments. I missed a talk that could’ve patched a broken relationship. – Soleil