Gil Maruvada Archives - the bird on fire

Why Knowing Things is Overrated

April 26, 2024 by szachik@pvs.org 4 Comments

By Gil Maruvada, Senior

Yeah, I’m sure you didn’t expect this from me, but I think knowing things is overrated. Look, I know a number of things, but I think it’s far more helpful not to know things; honestly, most of the time you can scrape by just guessing.

I’m not going to advocate pretending you know more than you do through blind guesswork, but what I am saying is that knowledge in an absolute sense is entirely overrated. Let me give an example: say you’re trapped in a maze–what’ll help you more, knowing exactly how to get out, or how to solve mazes in general? Of course, the exact instructions will get you out faster, but let’s say you’re in a different maze now; well, you’re going to wish you had chosen the more general knowledge. See, that’s what I mean when I say that knowing things is overrated; knowing a lot about a little is sometimes worse than knowing a little about a lot. Everything is connected. If you understand those connections well enough you can understand them on the fly in your head, even if you don’t “know” exactly what they are.

Knowing things has absolutely nothing to do with being able to figure things out. And, does knowing things have any real value anyway? Well, here’s what Socrates had to say, “All I know is that I know nothing.” If Socrates didn’t know anything, what hope do we have? You never really know anything about anything. Maybe you just made it all up? Here’s an article from Nature, “Subjective signal strength distinguishes reality from imagination“; essentially what it says is that there is a “reality threshold” at which your brain perceives something to be real, and real or imagined stimulus can sometimes cross that threshold. You know that time you could have sworn you heard a noise, or when you saw something unusual out of the corner of your eye, but when you looked, it was gone? Some might call this one of the perils of humans having an overactive imagination, but I would hazard to guess that it’s simply due to a reality that lacks sufficient stimulus.

One of the oldest thought experiments in philosophy is the idea of a philosophical zombie; essentially what it says is that if there was a thing that wasn’t conscious in any meaningful way but reacted in the same way a conscious being did, how would you be able to tell the difference? Your friends, your family, everyone you know, and everyone you ever met, if they were all philosophical zombies, how could you tell? There isn’t even a foolproof way of knowing anyone outside of yourself is conscious. You trust what a neuroscientist says about the brain, but have you ever seen a brain? Do you know how the machinery works? the physical laws it’s based on? Of course, you don’t. You can’t be expected to know everything either. The only thing you can do is say with some confidence that something is true or false, it exists or it doesn’t. But, let’s be honest; you’ll never really know what is real and what isn’t; you’ll never really know anything. It’s all just your best guess, and that might be enough.

Now, it’s time for me to come clean. Everything in this article is a foregone conclusion I wanted to reach simply by writing the title. I just wrote the title, “Why Knowing Things is Overrated,” and then decided how the article would go. Sure, I cited sources, but only to fit conclusions I’d already drawn by the time of writing. It’s all a narrative that had been formed in my mind from figments and illusions far before any of it was written or researched. I don’t know anything. Now, you might feel betrayed by this revelation, or maybe you saw it coming, but, hey, it’s all just a guess anyway. Remember, you don’t know what you know, and doubly so for what you don’t know. And, I’ll see you later. Bye.

Found: The Worst Relationship Advice on the Internet

November 1, 2023 by szachik@pvs.org 1 Comment

By Senior Gil Maruvada

We started the year with “How-To Relationships.” Gil mused on the subject for so long, we almost . . . abandoned his contribution. But, the junior class, saw Gil’s headline on the board under “Posts in the Works.” They clamored for the publication of the post. They wanted to know what was the worst relationship advice out there. Love Doctor Gil, flattered by their interest, finished the post. Here it is, late for its deadline, but ready wwaaaaayyy before Valentine’s Day.

Hi folks. Lots of relationship advice is out there, just floating around. Sometimes you have that one friend or relative who gives it to you unsolicited even though you never asked and you just want them to shut up because why do they think they are in any position to give advice and now the situation is devolving into an awkward mess where you try and explain to them exactly how uninformed they sound and you just want them to leave you alone. You know who you are, James.

But a lot of that strange unsolicited advice is on the internet as well. I’m compiling for you some of the worst relationship advice on the internet. Now “worst” is an entirely subjective measure, so first we will be going through what people say is the worst relationship advice ever given to them.

Let’s start with some threads from Quora and Reddit where people talk about the worst relationship advice that they have ever received. (But let’s keep in mind that attention-seeking, “like”-maximizing behavior on the internet could mean that some people exaggerate or completely fabricate bad relationship advice for internet points.) Quora user Dushka Zapata who has amassed a total of 260k followers and 9.1k answers on Quora since 2015 has compiled a list of 24 pieces of the worst relationship advice she has heard. The list goes as follows:

Your soulmate is out there!
You are too picky.
He should make the first move.
Play hard to get.
Remain a mystery.
Intelligent women are a threat so let him feel he has the answers.
If it’s not headed towards marriage you are wasting your time.
If he is jealous it means he loves you.
If he is possessive it means he loves you.
If he is abusive it means he loves you.
Buying a house together will save your relationship.
Get married. It will save your relationship.
Have a kid. It will save your relationship.
Give it time. He will change.
If you love him, change for him.
Watch him like a hawk.
Your significant other should be your highest, only priority.
He should be your everything.
Don’t rock the boat.
Don’t go to bed angry.
Love hurts.
Love means sacrifice.
Love is enough.
Love conquers all.

(What is the worst relationship advice you have received or overheard?)

The problems with this advice are derived from it being a mix of empty platitudes, red flags, ideas that are simply false, and “solutions” that don’t solve anything. Other pieces of bad relationship advice on Reddit are similar to things on this list. If you are interested, I encourage you to check out “[Serious] What’s the worst relationship advice you’ve ever heard?” on Reddit or any number of similar threads and look for hidden gems or things you disagree with.

Now let’s talk about what actual “experts” have to say about the topic. (I don’t have a good reason to put experts in quotes, but the general distrust of anyone with a modicum of authority or experience is the new trendy “in” thing, kids). In order to do this, let’s look at “6 experts share the worst piece of relationship advice they’ve ever heard,” written by Shana Lebowitz, a correspondent of Business Insider. One piece of advice in here that stood out to me was the challenge to the idea that “honesty is the best policy.” This is an understandable challenge but surprising because you hear this platitude so much. As our blog teacher Ms. Zachik said, “I think lying is really key in a relationship.”

In general, I personally think that most relationship advice on the internet is bad relationship advice. Given the internet’s track record, I don’t think it’s really safe to trust it. Plus with algorithms working to erode our sense of community and our place in the world, always making us more isolated in order to make it easier to market to us, the advice that rises to the top might not be high quality. Internet advice is less like cream of the crop and more like dead fish that floated to the surface.

In conclusion, the world is already an Orwellian corporate surveillance state monitoring your every move and thought and constantly trying to make sure you behave and stay obedient so that they can sell your most personal secrets to the highest bidder. Remember, 2+2=5, trust the government completely, and if you don’t hear from me again it’s because I’ve been unpersoned.

Why Dr Pepper Is the Best

October 26, 2023 by szachik@pvs.org 3 Comments

Wouldn’t You Like To Be A Pepper, Too?

By Senior Gil Maruvada

In our pursuit of controversy, we’ve unearthed Oliver’s unpopular sports opinions and the fiery opinions of PVS middle and upper schoolers, its staff and faculty (Thank you, Louisa). Gil, who “requires controversial opinions in order to tell the difference between his own identity and that of other people,” finds this was a subject made for him. Gil stands alone(?) in his love for Dr Pepper. He explains why he’s “a Pepper.”

In Waco, Texas, at the turn of the 19th century, before world wars and the Great Depression, an invention that would change the face of the world today was created. That something was the soda Dr Pepper, first sold on December 1st, 1885 (thoughtco.com). It is the world’s best commercially available soda sold in most retail stores. Now, you might have a personal favorite brand, but Dr Pepper is the best soda you can get just by walking into any store near you. That might be a bit of a bold claim, so allow me to prove definitively once and for all that Dr Pepper is better than its alternatives: Coke, Pepsi, Sprite, Mountain Dew, etc.

Now, let’s get this straight first, Dr Pepper has no period. While Dr Pepper was initially stylized with a period, the Artesian Manufacturing and Bottling Company dropped the period in the 1950s, so referring to it with a period is incorrect (drpeppermuseum.com). Additionally, there is no consensus as to why it is called Dr Pepper, and if it was named after a person there are competing theories as to who (dallasnews.com).

The superiority of Dr Pepper has been heralded by a small circle of pepper enthusiasts, some may call it cult-like but I like to think of it as the global Dr Pepper ~~conspiracy~~ community. Dr Pepper is something entirely different from Coke or Pepsi because Coke and Pepsi are colas while Dr Pepper is a pepper soda, which is an entirely different category pioneered by Charles Alderton. And while soda sales overall have been going down for other companies, Dr Pepper sales have been going up (cnn.com).

A large number of people swear by Dr Pepper as well (not just me). Elizabeth Sullivan, who drank three Dr Peppers a day, credits it with her longevity; she lived to be 106 years old (nbcdfw.com). She famously stated that “Every doctor that sees me says they’ll kill you, but they die and I don’t” (time.com). She has a point–-Dr Pepper is a heaven-sent elixir and panacea.

Centenarian Elizabeth Sullivan discusses here her affection for Dr Pepper.

Now Dr Pepper isn’t for everyone; some people don’t like its additional flavors and complex layers (and while I think these people are weak and inherently wrong, they technically have the right to their own incorrect opinions).

But this doesn’t answer the question of what Dr Pepper is. Dr Pepper isn’t a soda but a representation of human freedom. Every soda above Dr Pepper in sales is owned by either PepsiCo or the Coca Cola company. That makes Dr Pepper the third most popular alternative company, the third choice in a two party system. Sodas emulate politics. Coca Cola and Pepsi represent how a two-party paradigm can naturally emerge in a voting system. The only difference from politics is here people vote with their money. But a two-party system inherently restricts options and variability. Coke and Pepsi both have supporters and detractors who would fight to the end for their corporate overlords’ sakes, but in the end they are both really similar sodas. Dr Pepper, however, is an alternative to the system, a giant cooperation in its own right stepping into the ring and making a spectacle. This battle will not be fought with the force and passion of political debates but with the slow and steady machinations of the economy. And I for one would welcome a new Dr Pepper paradigm, where pepper sodas completely take over. Out with the old corporate overlords and in with the “new.” It just tastes better.

The 2008 Dr Pepper ad campaign: Be a Pepper.

*The views expressed by Mr. Maruvada do not necessarily represent the views of The Bird on Fire, Ms. Zachik, and PVS, or anyone else for that matter.