Op-Ed Post: How do we really feel?
By 8th-Grade Blogger Jackie Pretorius
I joined Blog since I like writing and even though I do get to write I also have to interview people for some of the prompts. And, of course, when I learned about this interviewing thing I did everything I could to keep it at a minimum, but I’d still be forced to do it anyway. It’s not like I don’t like talking to people; it’s just my social batteries can only handle so much. On the other hand, I can sometimes be shy and barging into a random classroom, disturbing the atmosphere, and starting a conversation with someone definitely helps me get out of my bubble. (I am definitely not being sarcastic.) I wasn’t so scared that I couldn’t make a decision on what PSA to do since they mostly revolved around interviewing.
These two things–low battery and shyness–make it really hard to socialize regardless of how much my brother Max wants me to, especially during dances. At the last dance, I couldn’t have a chat with myself for more than 5 minutes without him interrupting my inner monologue and literally pushing me over to people. You know how embarrassing that is having to explain myself like I did something wrong? But also starting a conversation is scary. So naturally when I knew what he was doing I would run for my life and hide behind a pillar, hoping he wouldn’t notice me.
Another scary thing is Blog. Yet again! I thought once I finished a post it would only be privately shared and returned for corrections, and although it was like that, there’s more to the story. After all the editing is done and you resubmit a post, it needs to go through a read-through. One person reads it aloud to the entire class as they nitpick everything. I hide from my problems by being under the table every single time a read-through of my work is taking place. And I know before the read-through our teacher makes corrections, . . soooo. Please don’t put me through the pain and agony that are read-throughs. I would rather have a mumball thrown at my face rather than be embarrassed by maybe having a small grammar mistake and everything knowing I’m dumb because of it!
“NOOOOOOOO!“
Anyways, in school I like working solo for obvious reasons, but sometimes you’re forced to be in groups. Whenever that happens I either do one of two things. One, I do the entire project myself while constantly worrying if it’s good enough; or, two, I do absolutely nothing without other people’s approval. But when the work is solo, I don’t have to worry about those things. But at the same time, it can be fun talking with people I would have never spoken with if this group project didn’t force me to. I just can’t make up my mind, can I?!
Even with all that said, I understand why talking with others can be beneficial. We live in a society where we have to work as a team and learning how to do so is a good tool to have. On the other hand, if you don’t want to socialize, there is no one forcing you to until you have to do those stupid interviews and read-throughs, people bugging you to socialize, or working in anxiety-inducing group projects. But, they’re not all bad. Sometimes I do enjoy it, but also now I get an excuse to complain. Thanks, Blog!
Jackie, I love your honesty! So many people feel just as you do. This was brilliantly articulated and made me smile.
I relate to this very strongly! I am an introvert and having time alone is so necessary for my mental health. I think it is really important to remember that this is ok – there are a lot of people who don’t understand it and will always tell you that you need to come out of your shell. And certainly it’s true that we occasionally need to push ourselves to try new things and put ourselves in new social situations in order to grow and make connections. But if you are someone who needs to balance those excursions with time to yourself to reflect and recharge, it’s essential to remember that there is nothing wrong with that – your alone time is sacred and nobody can take that from you.