szachik@pvs.org, Author at the bird on fire

Homer vs. the Greek One

May 10, 2019 by szachik@pvs.org 2 Comments

When Philosophy Editor James assigned his bloggers to write on the subject of Philosophy, Hannah immediately went to Homer, but which one?

By Hannah Hall

Two great men of not so equal intellect are Homer Simpson and Homer the Greek writer. Despite their differences, they each spit up quotes worth pondering. It can be hard to differentiate the two’s words; they are each philosophical in their own way. Now, I present to you a little game called Who said what?!! Ah, yes, you may think this is easy, but no no my friend; it is not as it seems. You may do this on your own and just read the quotes below, but if you would like to be interactive (recommended for fun), I have created a lil’ quiz!

Here is the link: https://forms.gle/w3bX72mC5TPtkbm78

If you don’t take the link, try the Who said what?!!” Quiz below:

Homer Simpson OR Homer the Greek

“I believe that children are our future, unless we stop them now.”

“The stars never lie, but the astrologers lie about the stars.”

“It takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.”

“Okay, whatever to take my mind off my life.”

“The tongue of man is a twisty thing.”

“There is a time for many words, and there is also a time for sleep.”

“I’ll tell people what to think. Now you tell me what to think.”

“My name is Nobody.”

“Do I know what rhetorical means?”

“I didn’t lie! I just created fiction with my mouth!”

“Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.”

“Even a fool learns something once it hits him.”

“Because they’re stupid, that’s why. That’s why everybody does everything.”

Sources:

https://www.greatspeech.co/homer-simpson-quotes/

https://quotes.thefamouspeople.com/homer-230.php

https://www.azquotes.com/author/6856-Homer

Philosophy Editor: James Zheng

A philosophical paradox–Are there truths?

May 9, 2019 by szachik@pvs.org 1 Comment

James, when he took his turn as the weekly editor, assigned everyone the task of writing to the theme Philosophy. Now, it’s his turn to weigh in.

By James Zheng

Generally, during our everyday life, the following questions of “really?” or “is that true?” appear in a usual conversation in response to crazy facts. People always respond to those questions with something like, “I just know…,” or “Yeah, because I heard it from….” When you ask these questions, you normally accept the ideas given by others or online sources. But, should you believe these ideas? Are they true?

Regarding philosophy, some people say that the nature of philosophy is making a simple fact sound ridiculously complex. I would not disagree with that because philosophical questions make things sound entirely different and new. In my mind, philosophy is a way of comprehending our lives better and extracting the essence of everything.

But, as the study and discussion around philosophy develops, more questions arrive that are nearly impossible to answer. “Are there truths?” is one of these questions. Well, what is a truth? Going by the explanation from Google, truth is “the quality or state of being true.” Before going into this too deeply, there is one important factor I must mention called common knowledge. This type of knowledge is that of the majority and can be anything. Common knowledge can be things like humans need oxygen to be alive or Washington D.C. is the capital of the United States. Most of what we call common knowledge has also been verified as much as possible, like the idea that there are seven days in a week. We often define that kind of stuff as the truth. But, in philosophy, truth is not just simply a fact authorized by the public or a widespread claim. On the contrary, truth is more of a correct understanding of objective things and their laws. Currently, I think science is probably one of the most essential displays of truth.

In my mind, there must be more truths. Our thought and cognition is constituted by truths. The way that we can think is based on vast amounts of truth. If there is no truth, our ideas and thoughts would collapse because truth is the basis of our thinking. In other words, our thoughts are based on cardinal truths. Here is one example: when you are saying, “I want to eat something,” you are realizing the truth that you are hungry and you have the aspiration to eat, which sounds more like logic, but they are quite similar. Critically speaking, even in the circumstance that I say there is no truth, I have already accepted the truth that “there is no truth.” And, what are some examples of a truth? I would say that nature itself is a representation of truth. Nature represents two of the most reasonable phenomena, time and life. I cannot question the authenticity of these two things. It is not because I do not want to. I simply could not.

Still, in the philosophical region, I ask myself why philosophers bring up incomprehensible questions. It may due to the conflicts they had with their religious beliefs or they feel questionable about the world. Perhaps they were suddenly inspired by something. To not make this post too tedious, I found some interesting responses from a forum in regards to the question “Is there truth?”

“Absolute truth is incognizable in terms of a human being’s low compelling perspective. At most, human beings can only exclude a handful of things that are absolutely not truths.” – Blogger Liu Yang

“The truth is that I know that I know nothing at all.” – Blogger Passenger

“The truth that is said by my girlfriend is the only truth I know.” – Blogger YIIYG

“Dongfeng Ballistic Missile, Julang Submarine-Launched Missile, Tsar Bomba” – Blogger Xiang Long Deng Dai ing

“Love” – Blogger I Think You Lost Your Mind

“Truth is a described fact that is not contrary to objective facts such as the following things:

People will die if they don’t eat.

Nothing lasts forever.

Even the universe will perish. All things existing in the universe will naturally disappear.” – Blogger Ye Ban You Ren

“The world is always changing, changing is always definite, eternity is relative.” – Blogger Guang Ming Lei Luo

I still insist on my opinion of saying there must be truth. But, this post is not telling you to follow my idea or make some simple things sound really complicated. I personally just think that this question is interesting to explore. Is there such a thing as truth? If you are interested, please show me what you think about this question/paradox in the comments!

Editor: Luke Langlois

What Do You Think About on Wednesdays?

May 8, 2019 by szachik@pvs.org 2 Comments

I challenge the Blog Class to a writing prompt once a week. Most prompts I pull from Poets & Writers. To begin, I introduced them to Chindogu, a Japanese term that means “weird tool.” It was coined by Kenji Kawakami, a former editor of a monthly magazine called Mail Order Life. As a prank, Kawakami published prototypes for his bizarre inventions that were intentionally useless and could not actually be purchased. Later, Kawakami published a book titled 101 Unuseless Japanese Inventions: The Art of Chindogu. Some of Kawakami’s popular inventions included the Eye Drop Funnel Glasses, the Dumbbell Telephone, and Duster Slippers for Cats. I asked our Blog Class to play along and create their own impractical contraptions. They had to follow the tenets of Chindogu: “You have to be able to hold it in your hand and think, ‘I can actually imagine someone using this. Almost.’”—Ms. Zachik

Holden conceptualized Pencil Gloves

English students across the world are experiencing hand cramps right now as their English teachers force them to write essay after essay. Well, fear not, fellow high schoolers, for I have invented the Pencil Gloves (patent pending). It is a glove with a pencil superglued that you can wear Michael-Jackson style. To write twice as fast, you can wear a glove on each hand. The use of a glove gives your fingers some relief as you write that 1000-page essay due Friday at 11:59. You will no doubt get looks from your fellow classmates, both of admiration and possibly disgust. Without a doubt, you will be the talk of the school.

Hannah envisioned the TV Beep BEEP

I would invent an app for finding the TV remote. Whether this be on the TV itself or on the phone, I just want the remote to beep when I have lost it! If I couldn’t invent an app, I would certainly buy a remote that has that built in as a feature. . . . like “Find My iPhone.”

James “invented” the Branched Straw

Branched Straw is a new type of straw which you use to drink not only one drink, but multiple drinks. It can mix up a completely new taste for you. Sometimes, if you are hesitating between buying sodas or some other drinks, why not just buy all of them and use the branched straw to drink them all and feel the new taste.

AJ came up with The Pin-Wheel Blower

Ever wanted to have the joy of seeing pigmented paper spinning, but there’s no wind and your lungs are too weak? Fear not! Our hand-held* device will blow the pinwheel for you AND exercise your arms!

*Disclaimer: Handles of device fit in two hands.

Luke “invented” the OopZZZ

So we’ve got a small little sphere with electrical shock capabilities implanted into your neck. This sphere has counterpart pieces that attach to everyday items like water bottles, laptops, pencil bags, etc. When you are out of proximity of a certain item, you get zapped, alerting you that you have left or forgotten something.

Makena says we need Baby Coffee

She pitches pocket-sized coffee pods that contain a shot of latte, coffee, tea, etc. From it, you get a boost of energy–in different flavors!

I, Ms. Zachik, go with Duster Mice (patterned after [stolen from?] Ray Bradbury’s “wall mice” which appear in his short story “There Will Come Soft Rains”)

Duster Mice come out and attack any dust or dirt or dog fur rolling about on the floor. When done, the Duster Mice then store themselves conveniently back in your wall. You only see them when dirt blows up. Then, they retract–out of sight. Dirt be gone!–Zachik out

Living Like Raccoons

May 8, 2019 by szachik@pvs.org Leave a Comment

PVS alumnus Peter Kadel (‘18) now attends Virginia Tech. When here, he was a beloved blogger and, among other things, an AP English Language student. In AP Lang, Peter [was forced to] read Annie Dillard’s essay “Living Like Weasels.” An excerpt of Dillard’s essay is reprinted below. Peter reached out to us–seems he had a “weasel” moment while walking to his dining hall. Happily, he thought of us and captured it in writing.

“Living Like Weasels”

by Annie Dillard

The sun had just set. I was relaxed on the tree trunk, ensconced in the lap of lichen, watching the lily pads at my feet tremble and part dreamily over the thrusting path of a carp. A yellow bird appeared to my right and flew behind me. It caught my eye; I swiveled around–and the next instant, inexplicably, I was looking down at a weasel, who was looking up at me.

Weasel! I’d never seen one wild before. He was ten inches long, thin as a curve, a muscled ribbon, brown as fruitwood, soft-furred, alert. . . .

The weasel was stunned into stillness as he was emerging from beneath an enormous shaggy wild rose bush four feet away. I was stunned into stillness twisted backward on the tree trunk. Our eyes locked, and someone threw away the key.

Peter’s Weasel Moment . . .

Annie Dillard’s essay “Living Like Weasels” describes a moment when she made eye contact and had a connection with a weasel. I had dismissed this as odd like I had done with every other thing she wrote. But, I was walking to a dining hall from class and heard a rustling noise from an underground drainage grate, not in much of a hurry, I went over to investigate. As I stood over the grate, the source of the rustling scurried into the underground pipe, seemingly gone forever. But something made me decide to crouch above the grate and wait for the critter to show itself. Seconds later, as if it shared my curiosity, a little triangular head with black and white stripes on the face and grey on the head peeked out from the pipe. The triangular head turned to look up at me, and I found myself eyes locked with a raccoon. I was surprised and enthralled by this little creature. For a few moments we just stared at each other. Then he darted off to continue about his day, and I stood up and went on my way. It wasn’t till later I realized I HAD JUST HAD MY WEASEL MOMENT! But instead of a weasel, it was a raccoon. Now I realize the importance of Dillard’s piece; we all have the chance to experience that moment. And the animal we have it with reflects us. Dillard got the tenacious, scrappy and clever weasel. I got the mischievous, rambunctious, and curious raccoon, a pretty accurate reflection of myself. –Peter Kadel

If Every Neuron in a Human was Coded in a Computer, Would it Result in Consciousness?

May 6, 2019 by szachik@pvs.org Leave a Comment

By Amateur Philosopher Holden Hartle

When Editor James asked, “What do you think of when I say ‘Philosophy’?” Holden answered, “If every neuron in a human was coded in a computer, would it result in consciousness?”

So there is a lot to unpack here. First, we need to define consciousness. Typically, this is just the ability to be aware of your surroundings: synonymous with awareness. So if a computer had all the neurons of a human, could it be aware of its surroundings? This sounds like something out of a sci-fi film, but other than being a concept for a script, the question forces you to answer questions about human consciousness and what constitutes it.

Many believe that consciousness is something that transcends the brain and its contents. In a poll I conducted where I asked the titular question, many responded with the idea that consciousness comes from the soul–something that can’t be pinpointed to a region of the brain.

Neuroscientist Christof Koch would disagree. He has done research on mice and concluded that your awareness of your surroundings stems from the claustrum, depicted to the right. Koch explains that it has neurons that are constantly firing as you experience your surroundings through the senses. Koch is currently experimenting with the outcome of “turning off” the claustrum. With the claustrum, would the animal be unconscious? Would they be something else, awake but not perceiving?

But, if we were to accurately map every human neuron onto a computer, in order for it to be conscious, it would have to have the neurons of the claustrum coded in.

Of the poll I conducted, 66% believe that such a computer wouldn’t have consciousness. As some have previously stated, consciousness may come from your soul. It is your inner being that creates your consciousness, and that is something that goes beyond neurons. But I ask these people to consider, what is a soul? What constructs a soul? If a soul is simply your thoughts and emotions created through neurotransmitters, then a soul could be coded onto a computer.

Others were more accepting of a conscious computer. They believe that the awareness of your surroundings simply comes from your brain spaces, and these people are content with the fact that this could be put into a computer. Some even believe that this will happen in the next few years.

Editor: James Zheng

Looking Back on My NBA Power Rankings

May 3, 2019 by szachik@pvs.org Leave a Comment

By Holden Hartle, Sports Enthusiast and Blogger

Back in October, I made a post detailing where I thought every NBA team would end up in terms of standings. And, with the season just wrapping up, I feel like it would be humbling to look back and see how accurate I was. The number on the left is my initial ranking, and the number on the right in parenthesis is where they finished the season.

Western Conference

1. Golden State Warriors (1)

There were some doubts at the beginning of the season in terms of how good the Warriors would actually be with the addition of Demarcus Cousins. But, Steph Curry had an MVP-type year, which paved the path to the 1st seed for the Warriors.

2. Houston Rockets (4)

The Rockets placed lower than most people predicted. Chris Paul was injured for an extended amount of time, which turned into a blessing and a curse. Though they lost games in that stretch, James Harden had a phenomenal year as the offense ran solely through him

3. Los Angeles Lakers (10)

Yikes. Things were looking good at the beginning of the season, but LeBron went down with an injury in which he missed 17 games, and in that time his supporting cast couldn’t win enough games to be a real competitor in the west. Also, the loss of their President of Basketball Operations, Magic Johnson, is indicative of how well their season actually went.

4. Utah Jazz (5)

The Jazz were the 2nd best defensive team in the league, but it wasn’t enough to stop James Harden in the first round of the playoffs. They might need one more player this offseason to be a legit competitor next year, or their lack of offense will plague them once again

5. New Orleans Pelicans (13)

Another yikes. I predicted that a young core of Jrue Holiday, Julius Randle, and Anthony Davis would go far, but chemistry issues in the front office caused problems.

6. Oklahoma City Thunder (6)

Westbrook-fan or not, you have to respect the amazing numbers he has put up next to Paul George. Speaking of PG-13, someone argued that he should be a candidate for MVP, Defensive Player of the year, and Most Improved Player, which may be a stretch, but is a testament to the amazing year that he had.

7. Portland Trail Blazers (3)

I thought that the Trail Blazers needed one more person to go far in this league, but they shut me up. The Blazers made it work, and the acquisition of Enes Kanter will be a big key to their success in the playoffs.

8. Denver Nuggets (2)

The Nuggets are the surprise team in the west, as they fought for the second seed off of a team-style of play, which is becoming increasingly rare in the NBA.

9. San Antonio Spurs (7)

My initial concern for the Spurs was that the lack of outside shooting would hurt them later on, but I should have known that Coach Gregg Popovich will always make the playoffs.

10. Minnesota Timberwolves (11)

With Jimmy Butler off the team, the T-wolves are headed in a new direction and are hoping to score on their lottery pick in June.

11. Phoenix Suns (15)

I had hoped that the Suns would show some progress, but to no avail. They didn’t utilize their star rookie nearly enough, and their record shows.

12. Dallas Mavericks (14)

Midway through the season, the Mavs realized that they weren’t going to be a playoff team, so they traded their rookie point guard and the newly signed DeAndre Jordan for the former Knick, Kristaps Porzingis. Hopefully they can score on a draft pick and Porzingis will bounce back from his injury.

13. Memphis Grizzlies (12)

The Grizzlies are officially in rebuild mode. They traded Gasol at the deadline, and Conley is planning on leaving. Like many other teams, the Grizzlies need to score on this year’s draft pick.

14. Los Angeles Clippers (8)

Yet another yikes. I thought the Clippers would want to rebuild, but they proved me wrong as they fought their way to the 8th seed and faced the Warriors in the 1st round. To everyone’s surprise, the Clippers took them to six games.

15. Sacramento Kings (9)

I’ll own up to it, I doubted the Kings and their dysfunctional front office. But De’aaron Fox and co. really pulled together a passionate effort, and they look like a promising young team.

Eastern Conference

1. Boston Celtics (4)

Gordon Hayward couldn’t pull it together until the last few months of the season, and no one except Kyrie Irving seemed to improve. Something needs to change on this roster if they want to win the east. Nevertheless, they had a somewhat successful season, landing in the 4th seed.

2. Toronto Raptors (2)

In November, I said that their success depended on if Kawhi Leonard could bounce back to being a top 5 player. Though he wasn’t a top 5 player, he produced enough to lead the Raptors to success.

3. Philadelphia 76ers (3)

Though I personally dislike the 76ers, their young core brought them success in the east and a relatively easy path to the Eastern Conference Finals.

4. Milwaukee Bucks (1)

In November, I said that Giannis has the potential to have an MVP-caliber season, and then he had an MVP-caliber season. The east should be scared.

5. Indiana Pacers (5)

Victor Oladipo got injured in the first half of the season, and everyone thought the Pacers would tank–then they grabbed the 5th seed. Their defense kept them in games, at least until they met the Celtics in the first round.

6. Washington Wizards (11)

John Wall didn’t stay healthy and Dwight Howard had personal issues, and this led to the team’s demise. Bradley Beal had a great statistical year though, and Thomas Bryant showed flashes of potential to be their center of the future.

7. Detroit Pistons (8)

Blake Griffin had arguably the best season of his career, and it helped with the team’s success. The duo of Griffin and Drummond was unable to carry the team against the Bucks, and they were swept in the first round.

8. Cleveland Cavaliers (14)

I thought that an aging Kevin Love and a rookie Collin Sexton could somewhat get it done. Needless to say, they are in rebuilding mode.

9. Charlotte Hornets (9)

Kemba Walker tried so hard to get his team to the playoffs, but to no avail. Something needs to change in that organization, or Kemba will be hitting the road.

10. Chicago Bulls (13)

The Bulls were really hell-bent on rebuilding, so much so that they traded away proven veterans for young pieces, and that resulted in less wins. Will it pay off?

11. Miami Heat (10)

Dwayne Wade had a great farewell tour, and the Heat were fighting for the 8th spot in the playoffs, but the cookie didn’t crumble their way.

12. New York Knicks (15)

Hopefully, Dennis Smith, Jr., can become a star for them, and the rumors of them signing Kevin Durant will come true. But one can only dream.

13. Brooklyn Nets (6)

The Nets are one of my biggest yikes teams in the east. D’Angelo Russell proved that he can be a focal point of an offense, and the Nets still have enough money to sign a player to a max contract to pair with him. The future looks bright for the Nets.

14. Orlando Magic (7)

I thought the Magic would tank, but they pulled a Clippers and fought their way to the playoffs. If they can find a solid point guard in the offseason, they could be a competitor come 2020.

15. Atlanta Hawks (12)

Trae Young had a Rookie-Of-the-Year season, and John Collins developed nicely. If they can draft a third piece in this year’s draft, they could make it to the playoffs in a few years.

Editor: Luke Langlois

Pushing Our Brains to the LIMITS

May 2, 2019 by szachik@pvs.org 2 Comments

By Luke Langlois

Editor James landed on “Philosophy” as his weekly Theme. James says philosophy makes him see the world “more clearly.” Luke asks, “Does it make it more clear? or more cloudy?” This is Luke’s response to the subject of Philosophy.

Over the years, humanity has risen to the occasion time and time again to push limits. Whether it be physical limits, technological limits, scientific limits, or academic limits, we always find a way to take it further. But, before we make many of these leaps, we have to push the boundaries of our thoughts. And, then, we have to push the boundaries of the definition of boundaries. How would I know that “I am” if Descartes never said “I think, therefore I am.” I would not! That is why philosophy, the study of knowledge, thinking, morals, values, etc, is critical to our humanity. Where would we be without forward thinking? With that being said, the following is a list of questions that probably will not push our society forward, but they should provoke some thinking.

Is free will a reality or a mere illusion?
If freedom is just being able to “do whatever you want,” are animals more “free” than humans?
Referring to the quote of Descartes (“I think, therefore I am”), if an AI were able to “think,” would it be considered sentient?
Are there extraterrestrials out there? Are they simply avoiding us?
If extraterrestrials were to visit our planet, what should our response be? What would we actually end up doing?
Are we living in a simulation? Are the “others” in our lives engineered to answer this question to keep us naive?
Do other people see color in the same way that we see color? Is our blue someone else’s red?
On the same note, how would you describe a color?
Is time real? Is there truly a past, present, and future?
We often deal with deadlines. Our life revolves around beginnings and ends. But, does time have a beginning and end?
Perhaps there is no physical embodiment of Santa Claus, but the tales of his existence provide children with a lifelong holiday spirit. Does this make him “real” in a sense?
Would you end the life of ten people, unknown to you, for ten million dollars?
Similarly, would you end the life of ten to save your best friend?
You are the leader of your nation and your largest city has just been struck with a nuclear weapon. How do you respond?
Is anything truly experienced objectively?
You have two options: you can go back in history and prevent every major war that has occurred. Or, you can stay in your current life and let history play itself out. What do you do?
With the snap of your fingers, you can eliminate half the life in the universe. After this, resources are plentiful. Do you do it?

So, there are some questions. Some of them are obviously a bit more serious than others, but none of them have an easy answer. Or do they? Human brains have achieved incredible feats over the years, but there are some questions that simply elude the capability of our thoughts. Perhaps YOU can provide us with answers and be the next great philosopher.

Editor: James Zheng

Undercover–Another recommendation for a party game.

May 1, 2019 by szachik@pvs.org Leave a Comment

By James Zheng, with Expert Party Advice

When Editor Holden asked for submissions that “spice up everyday life,” James went back to party games and how to spice up your party life, or how to be the life of the party. (This joke was made by Ms. Zachik, not Holden, for the record).

I did a post about the Werewolves game, and, then, soon after I found more excellent recommendations for party games. The game I am going to introduce in this post is less difficult to learn and more entertaining to play.

Undercover, which is also called Who is the Spy, was generated from a game that appeared in a Chinese variety show consisting of guest interviews and gaming interaction. It became a really popular party board game, and then a game developer created the online version Undercover.

The recommended amount of players is five to eight with one moderator. The most significant part of this game is that the moderator needs to decide on a “major” word and a “minor” word and write them on the paper to hand out later to participants. The “major” word and “minor” word represent the identities of the players. The player who holds the major word is the “civilian”; the player who holds the minor card is the “undercover.” And, to decide what the major word and minor word will be, the moderator needs to find two words that have similar meaning. The words can be anything as long as they are similar. If the amount of civilians is no more than five, the amount of undercover will just be one.

The gameplay of Undercover has the same feature as the Werewolves game–players need to talk during the game process. The players’ ability to express themselves is an important factor in deciding the result of the game. At the beginning of the game, each participant is given a pre-written paper as their identity–civilian or undercover. Then, each of them has to describe what their word is or means. After everyone finishes the description, everyone has to vote for one person who they think is the undercover. When the person is out, the moderator needs to check if that person holds the major word or minor word to decide if the game is still on or finished. The winning precondition for the undercover is when the amount of undercovers is the same as the civilians.

Basic Gaming Rules and Hints:

The person who holds the minor word does not know that they are the undercover, so the only way to find out is to listen to everyone’s description to see if they are holding the same or different word, then to guess what the major word is to mask themselves.
You CANNOT put the word that you are holding into your description. A person’s description cannot be too short or abstract, but it could be long if the person wants to speak more.
If you are playing as a civilian, of course you don’t want to spoil your word too much for the undercover. But, at the same time, your description cannot be too short or abstract; you can be just a little bit specific or try to find the characteristic that the word has. Try to organize your language at a perfect length to let other civilians trust you.

Depending on what words the moderator comes up with, the game can be played at different levels. Undercover is really easy to learn; the preparation is also pretty simple. Play with your friends and enjoy it!

Editor: Holden Hartle

The Monkey’s Plunge

April 29, 2019 by szachik@pvs.org 1 Comment

By Charles Schnell

Charles, no longer a Blogger-on-Staff but a consummate writer, still contributes short stories. “The Monkey’s Plunge” is his latest parable-ish fable submission.

On top of the hill in the middle of the forest the monkey meditated with his master in the master’s temple. The aged master, having two ounces of wisdom for every one wrinkle, imparted perhaps the most profound piece of wisdom he could to the monkey at the end of their meditation session. This was it: “Do not chase after the glitter, the riches, or the fame, my monkey. Those are all gold, but who needs gold when you can have God?”

The monkey replied, “Why can’t I have both?”

“If you allow your heart to fill with gold, there will be no room left for God,” said the master. “But, if you fill your heart with God, you will never need gold. You will still want it on occasion, which means you must be careful, for the second you let gold in, God gets pushed out.”

“So, what are you telling me to do? Run from the gold?”

“Run from the gold, monkey. Run to God.”

“Yes, master,” the monkey said, not completely comprehending his master’s words. With this, the monkey left the temple and returned to the city to continue on with his life.

An hour had not even gone by before the monkey forgot his master’s teachings for the day.

The week that followed had been no ordinary week, for the monkey had finally been discovered. The monkey was getting famous, as he had always wanted. Fans wanted to meet the monkey wherever he went. They asked for autographs on the most random and unexpected of objects. In addition, his earnings skyrocketed. He started buying things he had always wanted.

In fact, the monkey grew so busy that he had to cancel his weekly session with his master. This is the first time he had ever cancelled. When the monkey came to see his master to tell him, the master sighed, shook his head, and only had this to say, “Remember: Be careful, my monkey. Run from the gold. Run to God.”

This final message from his master went into the monkey’s right ear and out of the left. He hurriedly walked through the jungle back to the city; he had a dinner reservation.

Almost a whole year passed without the monkey coming back for his meditation session. He grew so involved and integrated into city society that he had forgotten about his wrinkled master. He even made a few self-righteous and conceited decisions along the way.

It was at this point when the monkey realized that his situation was changing again. The city no longer loved him. In fact, its people started to turn against him. They didn’t like the monkey anymore. They grew jealous of the monkey. They grew to hate the monkey. They wanted the monkey gone. So, as if right out of a cartoon, they grabbed their pitchforks and flaming torches. The monkey was chased from the city.

But that was not enough; they wanted him gone for good. Gone gone. They chased the monkey throughout the jungle. Taking advantage of the vines to swing on and the branches to jump to, the monkey managed to avoid his ex-fans for a fair amount of time. But, eventually, they cornered the monkey at the edge of the waterfall.

The monkey had no choice but to take the leap of faith and dive head first into the lake below the waterfall. The monkey’s plunge caused a huge splash, convincing the people he was gone gone. The people peacefully returned to the city, taking their pitchforks, torches and hatred with them.

Meanwhile, the monkey was still in the lake under the waterfall. He felt relieved. He felt safe. But, his feelings of relief and safety quickly turned into confusion as the current of the lake pushed him into the connecting rapids. The rapids tossed and turned him for many miles. The fearful monkey could not do anything but close his eyes, continue his record of involuntary summersaults, and pray that the pain would end soon.

He eventually stopped moving. He was still underwater, and the rapids were still roaring by him, but he was no longer being carried down the river. Then, he realized why he had stopped moving: he felt a hand grabbing onto his arm. The hand started pulling him out of the river. Trapped underwater, he had no clue as to whom the hand belonged and prepared for the worst.

The master eventually pulled the monkey fully out of the water. The monkey was more relieved than ever to see that it was his master, not his enemy. After taking a minute to catch his breath and shake the water off his fur, the monkey looked his master in the eye, trying to muster the words “I’m sorry” but was not successful in getting them out.

Instead, the monkey said, “Now I know.” His master gave him a look of inquiry, so the monkey clarified: “Run to God?”

The master nodded, took the monkey’s hand, and escorted him back to the temple. “Run to God, monkey.”

Editor: Luke Langlois

The Old Beggar-Woman–A Fairy Tale Re-Telling

April 29, 2019 by szachik@pvs.org Leave a Comment

It’s been a while. We go back, with this post, to the storytelling of tale aficionado Harlow Berny.

By Harlow Berny

Centuries ago, in a long forgotten kingdom, there was an old woman. Surely you have seen a beggar before. The woman begged the same, always saying, “God bless you,” when given anything, be it a shiny coin or a small piece of stale bread. Once, the old woman walked to the door of an old house, and there, by a burning fireplace, was a friendly young man. “Come, old mother; warm yourself,” he said to the old woman as she shivered in the doorway. “God bless you,” she said as she stepped closer to the warmth. However, she stepped too close and her clothes caught fire. She did not notice, but the young man did, and he jumped to his feet. He looked around for a pail of water, but finding none, he began to weep. His streams of tears fell on the flames and quenched them before they touched the old woman’s skin. She turned toward the young man and said with a smile upon her face, “God bless you.”

Editor: Holden Hartle

A Re-Telling of Grimm’s