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Monster Prom Game Review–Better Than Human Prom (And Cheaper, Too!)

September 7, 2018 by szachik@pvs.org Leave a Comment

By Dayton Kennard

 

Hey there! If you watch YouTubers Markiplier, Jacksepticeye, CrankGameplays, or TheRPGMinx, then chances are you’ve seen them play Monster Prom. If you haven’t, then hopefully this post gives you a good idea of what it is.

 

WARNING: Monster Prom would likely be M for MATURE by the Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB), meaning that it would generally be suitable for people aged seventeen and up due to sexual content, strong (explicit) language, drug usage, and alcohol consumption. Monster Prom was released on 27 April, 2018, and developed by Beautiful Glitch, programmed by Elías Pereiras, published by Those Awesome Guys, written by Julián Quijano, Cory O’Brien, and Maggie Herskowitz, and illustrated by Arthur Tien.

 

The game itself is a dating sim/visual novel that mocks typical dating sims as well as mocking itself. The game includes easter eggs that can range in allusion from 50 Shades of Grey to Disney. The game also has a built-in multiplayer mode where you and up to three friends can compete to see who gets a date to Prom, or even compete for the love of the same character!

The story takes place at a school called Spooky High in the player’s Senior Year, three weeks before Prom. You’ve narrowed down your prom-date choices to six monsters: Miranda Vanderbilt the Mermaid Princess (age 19), Damien LaVey the Reckless Demon (21), Scott Howl the Werewolf Jock (21), Liam De Lioncourt the Hipster Vampire (4XX), Polly Geist the Party Ghost (22?), and Vera Oberlin the Ruthless Gorgon (23). After the intro, you’ll take Monster Prom’s Stupidest Pop Quiz Ever™ that “will throw a bunch of absurd questions at you and turn your answers into your character’s stats.” Said stats are Smarts, Boldness, Creativity, Charm, Fun, and Money, which affect your interactions with the characters. You’re then introduced to the game with a short tutorial that explains how your character’s stats work, how the activities you do give your certain stats, and how events can either help or harm you.

A few more cool things are that your gender doesn’t affect who you can and can’t date, and there are two game types you can choose from: Short Game (around 30-minutes long) and Full Game (around 60-minutes long). With the goofy situations, fun characters, quick gameplay, and forgiving penalties that you can quickly recover from, Monster Prom is a captivating game with lots of replay value! If this sounds interesting to you, I recommend you head over to the game’s Steam page* and buy it! It’s only $11.99, which is over 50% cheaper than a typical $50 prom ticket!

Editors: Peter Kadel and Bella Bier

*https://store.steampowered.com/app/743450/Monster_Prom/

Filed Under: Culture, Review, Technology Tagged With: Dayton Kennard, Monster Prom Game Review

STOP

September 6, 2018 by szachik@pvs.org 2 Comments

By Jay Walker

 

STOP.

Slow down;

take a deep breath.

Do not enter

that sad place.

Don’t go that way

for it is a

Dead end.

This

Street is closed.

Find another way.

There may be a

Bump

or two,

but there is only

One way

now.

Slow down.

Acknowledge your

Limits.

 

These

are your

Signs.

 

Editor: Luke Langlois

Filed Under: Letters, Poetry Tagged With: Jay Walker, Stop, Street Signs

Death is Sexy

September 6, 2018 by szachik@pvs.org Leave a Comment

A One-Act by Charles Schnell, former Blog Staffer, now freelancer who aspires to write and publish the book A Hundred Ways to Ruin a Date and Two Hundred Ways to Fix It.

(SAM, a teenage boy, is in his bedroom lying on his bed, preoccupied with his phone. He’s wearing a yarmulke. There’s not much to his room: a bed, a dresser, a desk with a chair, a TV, and a video game console. Then, DEATH—a sexy, flirtatious young lady in her 20s—crawls through the window in nothing but her black undergarments, which have skull designs plastered all over. She’s also boasting a skull-plastered small black backpack. She tumbles onto SAM’s carpeted floor.)

SAM. Holy smoke! What’re you doing?

DEATH. (brushing herself off) Hello, Sam.

SAM. Who are you? Jennifer Aniston?

DEATH. No, I’m Death.

SAM. Is that your supermodel name or….?

DEATH. My real name. Listen, can I sit down? Climbing up here really took a lot out of me. (sits next to him on his bed)

SAM. (looking with eyes full of amazement) Okay, well, what do you want, Death?

DEATH. Do you have any Sprite? I could really use a refreshment.

SAM. Only Sierra Mist.

DEATH. Damn mortals.

SAM. What’re you doing here? You wouldn’t have come all this way just for a Sprite, Death. My parents would kill me if they found a girl like you in my room.

DEATH. (surveying him) Or they would pinch themselves out of disbelief. I’ve come to take you to the afterlife.

SAM. Okay….

DEATH. Your time has come.

SAM. Okay….

DEATH. Now all I need you to do is kiss me.

SAM. (does a double take, acknowledges audience) Okay! (leans in toward her)

(He shuts his eyes and goes in for the kiss. DEATH smiles devilishly and leans in. Just as their lips are about to touch, DEATH burps. Loudly. DEATH jumps up, flustered and embarrassed.)

DEATH. Oh, I’m so embarrassed! I thought I had finished digesting all the others!

SAM. Others?

DEATH. My apologies.

SAM. You mean you…

(Death and Sam speak simultaneously.) DEATH. Would’ve sent your soul to the afterlife and eaten your body?          SAM. Go to other guys houses and kiss them?

DEATH. Yes.          SAM. What!?

DEATH. That is the idea. How else are people supposed to go when it’s their time?

SAM. What do you mean?

DEATH. I’ve already told you, silly. I’m Death!

SAM. So when you said my time was up….

DEATH. Yep!

SAM. Wait, hold on! I don’t want to go yet.

DEATH. Oh, oh, what am I supposed to say here!? Sorry, forgive me it’s my first day on the job. Hold on, let me look at the handbook.

(DEATH pulls out the “BEGINNER’S GUIDE TO TAKING SOULS” out of her small black backpack.)

SAM. Job? Handbook?

DEATH. Ah, yes. Here we go. Ahem…. “We sincerely apologize that you don’t want to go yet. But unfortunately, your time has come. In life, we all must undergo things we do not want to. Nor are those things often ever under our control. For example, one time a man booked a ticket on American Airlines and got stuck next to a corporate lawyer for the entire flight.”

SAM. How’s that supposed to make me feel better?

DEATH. “The irony of this story is that after the flight, the guy wanted his time to come. Sometimes it can be a blessing!”

SAM. Look, I have no idea who you are or what crazy organization you belong to or how much red meat you’ve consumed recently. All I know is that you are very hot and I really want to kiss you. But, you ain’t worth going to the afterlife for!

DEATH. C’mon, kiss me!

SAM. No! If I kiss you, my soul will be sent to the afterlife, right?

DEATH. Yep!

SAM. What if I don’t kiss you?

DEATH. Then I’ll just have to take you normally.

SAM. Normally?

DEATH. Like all the other Deaths.

SAM. So you don’t have to kiss me? Then why do you? Not that I’m complaining.

DEATH. Oh, don’t get so fret up. They assign me to people who haven’t had their first kiss yet. That’s my position. I kiss them out of pity.

SAM. Hey, I’ve had my first kiss!

DEATH. Oh, don’t try to lie to me. In the afterlife, we know all. Besides, your cousin doesn’t count.

(SAM opens his mouth, but can’t think of anything to say to defend himself. He turns to hide his shame, notices his game console, and gets an idea.)

DEATH. Well, are you ready? I’m on a tight schedule. Kiss me already!

SAM. Wait! How about we make a deal? Let’s play a game of Madden. If you win, you get to take me. You don’t even need to kiss me! But if I win, you don’t take my soul and let me keep living.

DEATH. What’s in it for me?

SAM. What? You scared you’re going to lose?

DEATH. Scared!? I’m Death! I’ll have you know that at the office, we all play Madden on our time off! You’re on!

(SAM turns on the console, the TV. SAM sits on the bed while DEATH sits in the desk chair as they face the TV. They start playing.)

SAM: So what’s it like in the after life?

DEATH. Way better than here.

SAM. Really?

DEATH. Yeah! We’ve got Madden, cupcakes, blankets, quality plumbing, almost no bugs, quite profitable crop yields, a true democracy (as opposed to the American system), Dunkin’ Donuts. Plus the stock market is soaring right now.

SAM. Wow, it seems as if the afterlife has no downsides.

DEATH. Well, I wouldn’t say that. You’ve gotta die, and that’s a one-way trip. And, as much as reality sucks, it’s really the only place you can take a nice, hot shower.

SAM. Well, you can’t have everything.

DEATH. And the worst part—we’ve still got serial killers, rapists, and insurance salesmen.

(They focus on the game for a beat.)

DEATH. Ha! Interception!

SAM. I’m still up by 7…. So, how long have you been doing this death gig?

DEATH. About three days.

SAM. A newbie?

DEATH. Yep!

SAM. How many people have you kissed so far?

DEATH. 240.

SAM. Were you human before this or….?

DEATH. Nope. I was created three days ago.

SAM. By who?

DEATH. Death! My brothers and sisters and I are all extensions of Death.

SAM. Do you have any allergies?

DEATH. Nuts. Death is VERY allergic to nuts.

SAM. Really? Nuts are the weakness, huh? Nuts: the key to immortality.

DEATH. Oops. I wasn’t supposed to tell you that. Ah!

SAM. And another touchdown for me! Halftime show!

(SAM gets up and dances. He pulls out his phone and blasts “Get Down Tonight” by KC and the Sunshine Band.)

DEATH. What are you doing?

SAM. I’m winning. I’m cheating Death. This calls for a celebration!

DEATH. Not so fast. Look, half time’s over. Here comes my comeback!

SAM. You’re down by 21….

DEATH. Zip it.

(Sam stops the music and returns to the game, and thus the conversation.)

SAM. So, Death, I guess you know everything about the universe, right?

DEATH. Yes.

SAM. Can I ask you some questions that plague my existentialist mind?

DEATH. Sure.

SAM. Are there any restaurants in the afterlife? If so, how late are they open and what are their Yelp scores?

DEATH. Well, to put things simply, have you ever tried the KFC breakfast specials on a Tuesday morning?

SAM. Yeah.

DEATH. Afterlife food is worse.

SAM. Well, that’s great. At least I can finally lose some weight.

DEATH. Better late than never.

SAM. You know, a bunch of people think that the creation story is a myth, but is evolution really real?

DEATH. This is still quite a heated debate in the afterlife. However, let me put it this way: Evolution is the idea that we’re evolving, or, in other words, getting better as a species, and looking at you, clearly that’s not the case.

SAM. We sure are getting better at Madden though.

DEATH. Yeah, yeah…. You say as I tie up the game!

SAM. Marvelous.  

DEATH. One minute left!

SAM. (attains a serious tone, while still focusing on the game) Hey, Death….

DEATH. (still focused on the game) What!?

SAM. (glances at her, but his priorities are still clearly the game) You’re… really sexy.

DEATH. I know.

SAM. I think… I want to take you up on that kiss.

DEATH. (drops attention to game) You know what’ll happen right?

SAM. (glances at her more, but still pressing buttons occasionally) Yeah, and after hearing about how great the afterlife is, how could I not kiss you?

DEATH. Come here, Sam. Kiss me as if your death depends on it.

(He inches his lips closer and closer to hers. Just as the lips are about to touch….)

SAM. And touchdown! (he celebrates) I ran out the clock and scored at the last second, look!

DEATH. You mischievous midget, I’m gonna kill you!

SAM. Nuh-uh. A deal’s a deal. I’ve won my life! I never lose!

DEATH. (giving him one last glance over) Clearly.

SAM. Buh-bye Death!

DEATH. I don’t get paid enough for this. My brothers and sisters are never gonna let this up! Agh! Farewell, kid. I’ve got other prepubescent boys who need their dreams fulfilled.

SAM. Are you referring to the kissing or dying?

DEATH. Exactly.

(She runs and dives through the window and crashes through the glass, forgetting she closed it earlier)

DEATH. (from outside and below) Ow! My pelvis!

MOTHER. (offstage) Sam! What was that?

FATHER. (offstage) I told you to stop throwing the controller when you lose, damn it!

(BLACKOUT)

Editor: Luke Langlois

Filed Under: Fiction, Humor, Letters, Uncategorized Tagged With: Charles Schnell, Death is Sexy, One-Act

A Misportrayed Krab

September 5, 2018 by szachik@pvs.org 2 Comments

By new-to-the-2018-19-birdonfire staff, Blogger Luke Langlois

 

What’s the first word you think of when presented with our favorite animated restaurant owner, Mr. Krabs? It could be something like red, shiny, or even pointy-nosed. Unfortunately, the most prominent description of Mr. Krabs is “cheap.” How often do people use the word “cheap” in a good light? If you’re in need of a bag of Doritos, and a friend won’t lend a dollar, you’d call that friend cheap. If someone gets genuinely excited by a penny on the floor, they’re cheap. If your employer sells your soul for sixty-two cents, they’re cheap. By all accounts, Eugene Krabs has shown himself to be the stereotypical cheapskate. Society would like you to think that being the dictionary definition of a cheapskate is NOT a good thing. Though, is Mr. Krabs truly a cheap crab at heart? Or, is he an overly generous employer? After a brief look at some numbers, the answer is pretty clear.

Let’s take a look at the typical fast-food employee of the United States and compare it to Mr. Krab’s employees. In the United States, someone in the fast food industry is paid about $18,000 a year. In most large cities, the median rent per month for an average apartment would be at least $1,000. Without covering taxes, or any other basic need, that would amount to $12,000 a year, a majority of the salary of an average employee. Clearly, the average fast food employee does not make even close to enough to live in a safe apartment in the city while covering any other basic needs or amenities. How miserable! Who could ever work in the fast-food industry and live a fulfilled life? Spongebob and Squidward could.

Now, we can take a look at Spongebob and Squidward, Mr. Krabs’s two most loyal employees of nearly twenty years. Both of these fast-food employees are clearly able to provide for themselves. They have sizable and safe households. Besides being the owners of safe and decently sized domiciles, Spongebob and Squidward live in the outskirts of a prime city under the ocean.  As far as us viewers know, there are no other major cities in existence in the Spongebob universe. Adding on to this, the most desirable homes in cities are usually the suburban ones, such as Spongebob’s pineapple or Squidward’s Easter Island Head. To sum it up, these employees live in safe and spacious homes in the prime of this aquatic metropolis. Not only that, but Spongebob and Squidward have been known to have more than just basic needs. Spongebob is well known for his expert caretaking as well as jellyfishing. Like Spongebob, Squidward is able to pursue his passions. He paints, plays the clarinet, and even takes dance lessons. These are all expensive pursuits, especially in a capitalist society! In comparison to our above-water society, Squidward and Spongebob are paid exceptionally well for their seemingly mundane jobs in the fast-food industry.

Does the point not drive itself home? Mr. Krabs, mistakenly portrayed as a cheap and horrible crab to work for, is in fact one of the most generous people you could EVER work for. If you hear anyone call Mr. Krabs cheap, sit them down and make sure their minds are forever changed.

 

DISCLAIMER: While Mr. Krabs pays generously and allows his two employees to live a good life, he has made a few mistakes. Luke does not personally support the following: thievery, counterfeiting, 24/7 labor, selling the souls of employees, assault of employees, jellyfish slavery, grave robbery, attempted murder, or charging people for breathing.

 

Editor: Bella Bier

Filed Under: Culture, Fiction, Humor, Media, The World Tagged With: Luke Langlois, Mr. Krabs, Spongebob

A Madman

August 30, 2018 by szachik@pvs.org 2 Comments

thebirdonfire.org returns to hosting student poetry, fiction, essays, op-ed pieces, graphic art, events, and various schoolyard shenanigans. We launch the new school year with a poem from blog staffer and poet, sophomore Leo Milmet.

 

By Leo Milmet

 

I wrote like a madman, hiding in the laundry room.

I ended the note with a smiley face.

Then, out of the house, and

Into the fire.

Note in pocket,

I walked him home from school.

“I love you. See you tomorrow.”

He hugged me to death, as if he knew….

I walked home, got the rope, and went into the garage.

The door opened and closed.

ERR ERRR ERRR ERRR

Then silence.

I took a drink. I tied the rope. And died.

They found me peaceful, relaxed, quiet, a

Smile on my face, just like in the note.

 

Editor: Bella Bier

Filed Under: Poetry Tagged With: Leo Milmet

We’re Back, Ya Blog-Following Crazy People!

August 30, 2018 by szachik@pvs.org 4 Comments

By Leo Milmet

 

What’s poppin’, guys? We’re back with some cool newbies.

 

thebirdonfire.org Blog Staff this semester includes:

 

Makena Behnke

Bella Bier

Jeremy Cheng

Holden Hartle

Luke Langlois

Leo Milmet

AJ Patencio

 

Ms. Zachik, Advisor

 

Now get on with your life until we have something else to say.

 

Editor: Bella Bier

Filed Under: Set Up and Welcome Tagged With: Leo Milmet, welcome

Goodbye until next year!

June 7, 2018 by szachik@pvs.org 1 Comment

Hey, everyone! I just want to take a moment to thank everyone for sticking with us since the revival of our blog, The Bird on Fire, last September. It has been a really fun ride with everyone both in the blog class and our readers. This year you’ve seen posts from Blog Class members Claire, Renée, Peter, Makena, Shelby, Leo, Charles, AJ, Bella, and myself, Brennan. You’ve also seen posts from guest bloggers Holden Hartle, Jackson Dean, Daniel Romo, and Luke Langlois. Finally, you’ve seen posts from Harlow Berny and several anonymous bloggers. All of these people have contributed towards making the Blog what it is today. But, none of this would have been possible without Supreme Overlord Zachik. She has done more than what I can list here. I am speaking for the entire Blog Class when I say to her, “THANK YOU!!!”.

 

Now, we are at a point where our blog is going to be relatively inactive until the next school year and our constant stream of posts is going to be on pause. I would like to take this moment as our last post this year to say goodbye to both our readers and to our one senior, Peter. Peter has been with us the entire year to help with our shenanigans and now he goes on to live life in the big, wide world in college. Peter Nicholaus Kadel will be missed.

 

We will be excited to return in September, and you better believe that we will come back stronger than ever. Goodbye, until next year!

 

From, Brennan

Filed Under: School Events, Set Up and Welcome Tagged With: Brennan, Goodbye until next year!

Quotable Quotes from FAST AND FURIOUS

June 6, 2018 by szachik@pvs.org Leave a Comment

By Claire Jenkins

The Fast and Furious franchise is known for many excellent one liners. Below are a few of my favorites:

 

  1. “I don’t have friends. I have family.” – Dom Toretto (Furious 7) A great motto, close friends are like family.
  2. “I live my life a quarter mile at a time.” – Dom Toretto (Furious 1) Live FAST! die YOUNG!
  3. “Ask any racer, any real racer. It don’t matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning is winning.” – Dom Toretto (Furious 1) The competitor in me loves this quote. Winning is indeed winning.
  4. “The most important thing in life will always be the people in this room. Right here, right now.” – Dom Toretto (Furious 5) The idea of living in the present is a great idea. Wish I could relate.
  5. “Life’s simple. You make choices and you don’t look back.” – Han Lue (Furious 3) Life really is simple if you think about it. I agree.
  6. “Hey, we do what we do best. We improvise, all right?” – Brian O´Conner (Furious 6) Who needs a plan anyways? It’s fine.
  7. “Why don’t you just pack it up before I leave treadmarks on your face.” – Letty (Furious 1) Letty is my soulmate, that’s it.
  8. “You might want to keep your eyes on the road, playboy.” – Monica Fuentes (Furious 2) Just a solid quote. Eyes on the road, kids.
  9. “Who you choose to be around lets you know who you are.” – Han Lue (Furious 3) Your friends say a lot about you as a person. Keep the good ones around.
  10. “You’re loyal to a fault. Your code is about family and that’s great in the holidays, but it makes you predictable. And in our line of work, predictable means vulnerable.” – Owen Shaw (Furious 6) It’s nice to be loyal, but it can also get you into trouble.
  11. “Where you go I go, where you ride I ride, where you die I die.” – Letty (Furious 6) AWW. Dom and Letty are the bestestest couple. Through explosions, memory loss, car crashes, and lost love, Dom and Letty stick together.
  12. “Nobody makes me do anything I don’t want to do.” – Letty (Furious 6) Again, Letty is THE best.

Quotes from:

https://www.drivingline.com/articles/top-10-most-quotable-one-liners-from-fast-and-furious/

https://geeks.media/30-of-the-best-quotes-from-the-fast-and-the-furious-film-franchise-so-far

 

Editor: Peter Kadel

*Also, these are Peter’s favorite movies.

Filed Under: Advice, Culture, Media, Review Tagged With: Claire Jenkins, Quotable Quotes from Fast and Furious

Tesla–Sustainable Living At Its Finest

June 6, 2018 by szachik@pvs.org Leave a Comment

By Shelby Armor

When we think about Tesla, Inc., we think about their cars. And, yes, their cars are 100% electric, and have no engine whatsoever. As of April 2018, Tesla has saved 3,330,166.37 tons of CO2 emission through their vehicles alone, and the number goes up every minute. But, Tesla does so much more. While their cars are groundbreaking, they also do a lot of things that help home life, and help to create a greener environment and promote sustainable living.

In addition to having 100% electric cars, they also produce solar panels, “Powerwalls,” and solar roofs. Their solar panels have a sleek design and seamless integration into the roof. The way they operate is by connecting to the “Powerwall,” which is another creation by Tesla. The Powerwall is a 100% self-powered battery that meets all energy needs of a house on any given day. When there is a power outage, the Powerwall can sustain the house for 7+ days on the energy it has created alone. It functions by taking the solar energy that the solar panels produce during the day and storing it. They also have a Tesla app, where you can track the power that is being used and how much you still have in your home. As Tesla is big on getting a sleek look, they also created a “Solar Roof,” which essentially acts as a solar panel and blending in seamlessly to your house. The solar roof connects directly to the Powerwall to power your home. Tesla grants a lifetime warranty on the solar roof itself, which goes through the subsidiary company Solar City.  

Tesla has been helping the world as well, not just the home. The Powerwall, announced in the April of 2015, and since then has been used extensively in home life and also in community service projects. Elon Musk, the creator of Tesla, actually brought 700 Powerwalls to Puerto Rico, to the “Hospital del Niño” after the hurricane to help bring care to patients who needed them. For the actual Tesla cars, they do not use one big battery, but instead use thousands of small, cylindrical, lithium-ion commodity cells, like those found in everyday electronics. They put the batteries under the floor of the vehicle. Because of this, there is more space in the trunk and interior. An example of this is that the Tesla has a “Frunk,” or a trunk in the front. If you go to the hood and open it, there will be extra space to store things, since there is no engine there.

Tesla also created something called a “supercharger.” The supercharger is a free electric charger made by Tesla that exists all over the world for Tesla owners to charge their cars. There are 7,320 superchargers globally, and they provide up to 120 kW of power, meaning it would take around 75 minutes to get a full charge. I have been a fan of Tesla since I first heard of it a few years ago. I don’t think that people realize how much Tesla does besides their cars, and I hope this sheds some light on all of the work that Tesla is doing for a green future.

 

Editor: Renée Vazquez

Filed Under: Culture, Review, Technology, The World Tagged With: Shelby Armor, Tesla--Sustainable Living At Its Finest

The Story, Production, and Genius of “Arrested Development”

June 6, 2018 by szachik@pvs.org 1 Comment

By Charles Schnell

Arrested Development is my favorite sitcom. With the release of the first half of season five on Netflix on May 29, I thought I would write a post explaining why.

To put it in the show’s own words, Arrested Development is “the story of a wealthy family who lost everything, and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together.” Enter the Bluths: a wealthy family who owns a real estate development firm named the Bluth Company. Not only are they a very wealthy family but they’re also an extremely dysfunctional family. After the CEO of the company, George Bluth Sr., runs into legal trouble, the family starts falling apart, and it’s all up to one of his four children, Michael Bluth–the “one son”–, to keep them from plunging completely off the deep end, all the while trying to keep the company afloat. So, why does keeping his family together pose a challenge for Michael? Well, once you see his family, you can understand why. His family includes a lying, lazy, selfish, indecisive twin sister whose favorite hobby is to crack open the company checkbook; an arrogant, foolish, self-centered older brother trapped within his hopeless dream of being a magician; a gullible, post-hemispherectomy younger brother who’s overly attached to his mother; and an oblivious, neurotic, ex-therapist of a brother-in-law who’s chasing his dreams of acting. These four are just a fraction of his family. And what happens when you place this dysfunctional family right in the heart of a highly satirized Newport Beach? Chaos, crime, romance, loss-of-limbs, death, and hilarity!

Arrested Development was created by Mitchell Hurwitz. The show originally began in 2003, airing on Fox. Upon the completion of its first season, the show was met with critical praise, winning six Primetime Emmys and a Golden Globe. However, due to poor marketing, the show received poor ratings. Thus, in 2005, its second season was cut from a planned twenty-two episode run to eighteen episodes, with which it was still able to garner eleven Emmy nominations and one win. A similar but more unfortunate event occurred in 2006 with its third season: twenty-two episodes became thirteen, and the show was ultimately cancelled by Fox.

Fortunately, in 2013, Netflix, who had nabbed the rights to the show, released a fourth season. Many aspects were different about this fourth season. For instance, while all the main actors were able to come back, many crew members, writers, and producers did not return. Another thing is that almost all the actors had reached new heights of fame since the original series. Jason Bateman, Will Arnett, Michael Cera, and David Cross are all Arrested Development actors that have been in multiple movies and TV shows and have become more popular since the end of the third season. Because of this, Hurwitz and the rest of the creative team had trouble working around the actors’ schedules, especially without a film budget. Thus, the fourth season had to undergo a different writing and presentation style than the original three seasons. The original series was full of scenes of the characters being together, and what made the original so great was how cleverly the writers had the characters interact with each other. The fourth season had to go a different route, since the actors’ schedules were very limiting. Thus, while there are some scenes of the Bluths together, the majority of the fourth season was written with each episode being dedicated to one of the main characters’ individual adventures. The writers decided to turn this handicap into an advantage, as they used this to structure the plot of season four in a very complex way. Season four was not ordered chronologically upon release. Because of this, the writers ended up turning season four into an intertwining, complex, out-of-order story. This fourth season eventually unfolds into a mystery storyline. And this led to the controversy of season four. Some argue that much of the charm and wit of the original series was lost, as one of the reasons the original show was so great was because of how the characters played off of each other. Others praised season four, claiming that the complex plot of season four that gradually turns into a mystery made the show much more engaging and much more than “just a comedy.” While I would agree that the show is way more than “just a comedy” even if the fourth season never happened, I really like season four. The writing is extremely clever and well thought out. I think that about the original three seasons too, but the difference is that the first three seasons are clever in a comedic sense, while the fourth season is clever more so in its plot and storytelling, while still being funny.

After five years of little news regarding a fifth season, we recently received great news. About a month ago, Mitchell Hurwitz announced that not only was season five going to be released very soon, but that he had made the Season Four Remix: a recut of season four that not only put the fourth season back into chronological order, but cut and reordered all the scenes as well, putting the season into episodes that each contained multiple characters’ stories per episode. This recut, that turned the original fifteen thirty-minute episodes of season four into a new twenty-two-episode season with each episode being twenty-two minutes, has been positively received and generally recognized as better than the original fourth season. Some have even claimed it is just as good if not better than the original series. All the complaints of a convoluted plot and character-overdose per episode are taken care of in the recut. While I agree the recut is way funnier than the original season four, I still appreciate the original for taking its production circumstances and trying to do something bold with them. Plus, the writing in the original season four is still really organized and well-thought out. (Thankfully, both season four’s are available on Netflix. The original has been tucked away in the “Trailers and More” section).

Okay, enough with season four. I want to get to why I love this show. On May 29, the first half of season five launched on Netflix. Season five continues the mystery cliffhanger left by season four. But remember, it’s still a comedy first and foremost.

The writing is extremely clever, silly, intertwining, connected, organized, and hilarious. From funny one-liners to ridiculous physical mishaps, the script of almost every episode is non-stop laughter. Every line is delivered with the exact delivery it calls for. The actors all have great chemistry with one another and, also thanks to the brilliant scripts, can play off each other well. The pacing is very rapid and works beautifully; the only problem is sometimes your laugh from one punchline will extend over another punchline. Not only are the actors’ deliveries spotless, but their facial expressions and body language are always on point, sometimes even garnering more of a laugh than the line does. The soundtrack, while not the highlight of the show, is fitting and is subtly funny in its own way. Some of the tracks become their own on-running gags. Speaking of which, I hope you like on-running gags and inside jokes because this show is chock full of them and will never hesitate to use them time and time again, even when you least expect it. Another thing I will say about the writing is while Arrested Development is first and foremost a comedy, the storyline is not horrible. Unlike numerous sitcoms, a continuous storyline actually exists and has its own little surprises, twists, and turns. And, because of the continuous storyline, this is not a sitcom where you can jump around. In order to fully understand what’s going on in an episode and all the jokes an episode might have, you must have seen all the episodes prior to that episode respectively. The storytelling becomes much more of a focus with the Netflix seasons than the original series, which provides the story as a backdrop for all the crazy comedic scenarios that occur, as well as a relief from the otherwise non-stop one-liners and on-running gags. Finally, Ron Howard is the narrator. In the first season, he more or less acts as a normal omniscient narrator. However, as the show continues, Howard starts saying more and more witty one-liners and clever, comedic quips, and he gradually becomes one of the comedic highlights of the show.

Arrested Development is a hilarious, ridiculous, absolutely crazy comedy that also knows how to tell a compelling story. This show never fails to make me laugh, and with the release of the fifth season and the upcoming summer break, I hope you will give this show a chance. For those of you who already like this show, aren’t we glad that Netflix is keeping this show alive? And for those who do not like this show… we’ll agree to disagree.

 

Editors: Renée Vazquez and Leo Milmet

Filed Under: Advice, Culture, Fiction, Media, Op-Ed, Performances, Review, Visual Arts Tagged With: and Genius of "Arrested Development", Charles Schnell, Production, The Story

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