Animals Archives - the bird on fire

The Favorite Things Museum

April 17, 2025 by szachik@pvs.org Leave a Comment

Blog Staff has set out to log some of Palm Valley School’s favorite things. It’s what we talk about, think about, dream of, hoard, share, give to one another. 6th-grade Mark shares here his favorite things.

A Google Drawing created by Middle-School Blogger Mark Huber

In the parallel universe of pigs, there is a house that belongs to the pig version of Mark Huber. You’ll see that Pig Mark has created an addition to his house, and that addition is a relatively small museum of all of Mark’s favorite things. The Google Drawing below is a picture of Pig Mark and his brother, Pig David, in the museum studying the things in it.

The paint bucket and paintbrush representing the color green were copied from a Google Slides presentation that thanked Human Mark’s dad for bringing his Chromebook to school when he had forgotten it at home. The two pigs studying the things in the museum, Pig Mark (left) and Pig David (right) are the two main characters in any fictional story Human Mark writes, Pig Mark being the mainest character of the two.

How to Create a Better Relationship with your Cat and Dog

January 30, 2025 by szachik@pvs.org 1 Comment

By 6th-Grade Bloggers Lina Kakoussian and Greenlee Bartley

You might be wondering, how can I make a better relationship with my dog or cat? If you ever asked yourself that, then you are at the perfect place. We will inform you about some things that dogs and cats love and enjoy so that they will love you even more!

How to make a better relationship with your cat

I own a cat named Archie, who is a little boy who can be sleepy and hyper in the same hour. I have a great relationship with my cat, especially because I have always wanted one! Something that cats love are soft surfaces like blankets, beds, and sofas. So, if you want your cat to have a comfortable place to sleep, give them a soft bed. A lot of the time they like to sleep on your bed because they feel secure when they are around you and they know someone is with them. Cats love to be scratched under their chin. You can tell if they like the chin scratching if they close their eyes and lie down while they get petted. Make sure to teach your cat the sound of their treat bag if you want them to come to you. They will know that you are the person that gives them treats, and they will like that. They also love to be in a place where they feel covered up, like a tiny fort with a blanket on them. – Lina

Archie was three months old when this photo was taken. He is a Domestic Longhair Mix.

How to make a better relationship with your dog

I have a cute big dog named Remy. I love my dog because I have known her since I was three. Over that time period I have figured out some things that all dogs love! The first step you have to do to create a better relationship with your dog is you have to know how to pet them. If you don’t pet them correctly, they might get mad and walk away. One way you can pet your dog that many dogs enjoy is being pet on their ears and their chin–just like cats! You can tell if they like the spot you are petting them in if they start to lie down, put their paw on you, or become more comfortable. Dogs and cats are very similar! The only difference about them is that some dogs can be very big in size. Dogs also love treats and food. Most dogs know the sound of the treat bag, so if you don’t want your dog to run over to you then be careful shaking the treat bag! Also, make sure they feel safe and comfortable. To do that you can get them a bed, or let them sleep on your bed–like my dog! – Greenlee

Remy is a puppy in this picture. Now, she’s nine. Remy is a Boxer.

We hope that this information helps you and your pets’ relationship. Make sure to tell all your friends and family with dogs and cats to check our post out. Thank you!

Dear Marley…again

March 1, 2024 by szachik@pvs.org 2 Comments

This is Marley.

You can catch Marley most days in front of the Upper-School dropping off and picking up Jess.

Marley lives with senior Jess Billimore and her family. And, while Marley loves Jess and family best, she graciously embraces the whole Palm Valley community (when the mood strikes her). Marley is here, today, once again, to answer your questions and offer you some of her wisdom.

Audrey Guess – Marley, can you help me with my math homework please?

Hi Audrey! I wish I could, but I don’t want to.

Landon Elder – Can you do a double backflip?

I can sit (on my own terms), and I can also roll over, which is pretty close. Can you do a double backflip, Landon?

Gil Maruvada – If you had one wish, what would it be?

Hi Gil. My wish would be for a sister because Jess really wants another dog, and I think a sister would be cool.

Mr. Jowett – How can I maintain inner peace?

Hi, Mr. Jowett! I love this question. My best tip would be not to place so much value on what others think of you. For example, people always think I’m an annoying chihuahua, but I know that isn’t true, so I don’t let it bother me!

Ms. Zachik – In the morning, when I’m trying to get to school, how much time should I dedicate to my dog Charlotte who really wants to play.

Hi, Ms Zachik. I think you should take her to school with you and let her play all day long!

Tori the Barista – Who is your favorite barista here at the Vintage Coffee House?

Hi, Tori! I love you all equally, but I think I am the best barista! Everyone should go to the Vintage Coffee House. It’s my favorite place because I get to see all my friends and they have dog treats!

That’s it for today, guys! I hope everyone enjoyed the chit chat. Do you have any questions for Marley? Contact Marley through thebirdonfire.org or through Jess.

My Favorite Dog Breeds and Why They Might Be Good For You

January 17, 2024 by szachik@pvs.org 4 Comments

Louisa is Ziggy’s very first dog sitter.

By Freshman Louisa Richardson

One New Year’s resolution easy to keep would be spending more time with my dog this year. Louisa is a dog lover as well, even something of a professional in the world of dogs. Are you looking to bring a dog into the family this year? Louisa’s got some match-making tips.

As some of you readers may know already, I have been dog walking and sitting for the last few years, and it’s been going great! I met a whole lot of wonderful people, and even better dogs, plus a few kids. Although I always say that I love all the dogs that I walk equally, I do have a lot of dog breeds that make my experience with pups more enjoyable. Perhaps I do have a favorite dog, but you will have to stick around until the end to find out which dog wins my heart. Over the years, I have developed a love for five dog breeds due to the wonderful experiences I have had walking them. If you are looking to adopt a dog (as everyone should), I have many recommendations–so many in fact, that I had to narrow it down to five. So here it is, my top five dog breeds, and why they might be good for you.

Golden Retriever

These dogs are friendly, funny, and great family dogs! I have met my fair share of dogs, but my favorites have always been Goldens because they are great to play fetch with; they are great with other dogs, and great with kids of all ages. The Golden Retrievers that I walk are usually very perky and excited to see me. When they get home, they usually want to play more, which is one of the only downsides–they are impossible to wear out. As puppies, they are either the sleepiest or the most energetic dogs. This means that they are great for families! Having a couple kids to wear out a puppy, or vice versa can be a blessing. Goldens are very cuddly dogs, and they live a decently long time–about 12 years. Note: they are prone to hip problems in old age. I love Golden Retrievers, and I think you should, too.

Lab

My grandmother had a variety of Labs and loved all of them. She still has pictures of them up all over her house. Though I only met two of them (one of which I don’t remember), I do know that they were very good dogs. Labs tend to be a bit more laid back then Golden Retrievers but still have the old-age hip problems. Labs have always been one of my favorite dog breeds because of the good memories I have with them, but even now when I dog-sit one, they are always good dogs. They are great for families (for the same reason as Goldens), but they are also very good guard dogs. Labs make for amazing hiking buddies, too. Labs also come in a variety of colors (black, brown, yellow, and white), which makes them very cute colorful floof balls.

April the Lab was Louisa’s grandmother’s dog for 13 years.

Labradoodle

I love Labradoodles. I have one, and dog-sit for multiple. I love the way they look (if they’re not cut like poodles). I love their personality. And, I like that they require a good amount of exercise. Walking them is easy because they are very flexible in their adaptability. I walk my dog anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour and a half. She is always happy to walk, just hard to harness. The Doodles that I have walked and sat for are all very good. They are pretty easy to get to know, and although a little hostile at first, they become your best friend within a few minutes (this means they aren’t so great as guard dogs). For the most part, they have great personalities. They are very intelligent and cuddly dogs. The only big downside is that they love to counter-surf. For those of you who don’t know what that means, I will give a brief example. Labradoodles are tall dogs. I cannot leave anything on the counter or table without it being gone within seconds. It doesn’t matter the type of Doodle, they are ALL like this. It can be a great reminder to wash the dishes, or clean up after yourself. To others, counter-surf-ing can be a total deal breaker.

Husky

Huskies are some of the cutest, most annoying dogs ever. They really like to erm… vocalize their opinions on the most random things outside. Despite this, they are great dogs. They shed a lot, but they are super fluffy. They require a lot of exercise, so it can get you out of the house. Though some people view a lot of exercise as a bad thing, I think that says more about you than your dog. They are great farm dogs, family dogs, and guard dogs. They require a lot of exercise and love, but so do most other dogs. Huskies are great dogs for kids as they love to play and love, but are still kid friendly. Huskies have a really bad reputation as being loud and obnoxious, but under all that they are such good pups, and I really love them. I have never met a bad Husky.

Australian Shepard

I have a lot of experience with Australian Shepherds, and they are amazing dogs. They are super cute, good with other dogs, and good with (most) humans. They do have a pretty big downside though. They are big herding dogs. If you are running with one, or if they are playing with other dogs, chances are they will start barking and trying to herd you in a particular direction. You can’t blame them; it’s in their DNA. This can be hard to deal with if you have kids constantly running around the house. Of course the dogs will never hurt you, or at least they haven’t in MY EXPERIENCE. But it can be a pretty big hassle telling your kids not to run around because they’ll upset the dog. Are Australian Shepherds good family dogs? Sometimes. Are they good farm dogs? Always. They are also the cutest dogs in the world, but require a decent amount of exercise. If you like exercise, they’re a good fit for you. They are decently good guard dogs, too. I love Australian Shepherds and walk one quite frequently. (He is my favorite).

Of course the breed of dog doesn’t always reflect an individual dog’s personality (unless it’s a Chihuahua). But, I’ve found that usually the dog’s looks and personality are reflected well in the breed itself.

Why are the French Called Frogs?

January 4, 2024 by szachik@pvs.org 1 Comment

By Sophomore Oliver Martinez

Here at thebirdonfire.org, we thought we’d pursue “Chaos” for a while, as it’s so unlike our day-to-day lives–or so I thought. At the mention of “Chaos,” Oliver immediately went to English class.

While in English Class we were reading Art Spiegelman’s graphic novel Maus II, and on page 93, Vladek (Spiegelman’s father) is in a concentration camp when he encounters a French frog character who then proceeds to socialize with him and become his friend. You see, Vladek is the only character with whom the French frog can communicate, as they both speak English. In Spiegelman’s book, character groups are represented as different anthropomorphized animals. We were used to seeing human-like cats and mice and dogs. But, a frog? We started wondering why a frog is used to represent a French person. To be frank, my interest piqued, and after some research, I’ve compiled a list of circulated reasons as to why the French are called frogs.

Frog Legs

Well, there are many theories about why the French may be called frogs. For example, according to stackexchange, “Brewer’s Dictionary of Phrase and Fable traces the use of the word ‘frogs’ for the French to eating frogs’ legs.” Apparently, the French have been eating frogs since the twelfth century. Since it technically wasn’t meat, the Catholic monks could eat it during Lent–when Catholics abstain from meat. So, yes, one of the reasons for the French being called frogs is their tendency to eat frog legs (tastefrance).

Revolution and England

A more reliable source, England’s The Guardian – its “Notes and Queries” section, includes a reason the French are referred to as Frogs: during the French Revolution, “the Aristocracy fled and made their way to England, where they disparagingly called the revolutionaries ‘les grenouilles’ – the Frogs.” This spread very quickly all around England. Everyone started calling the French “Frogs.” Still, other explanations pop up.

Fleur-De-Lys

The French adopted the Fleur-De-Lys as their national flag during the 14th century (study.com). The French are called Frogs because according to thingsiloveaboutfrance, “The English, unfamiliar with the fleur-de-lys (Lily Flower), mistook the flower for a frog, and had a right old laugh about a country that would put a gold frog on their flag, and thus began sarcastically calling their nemesis ‘frogs.’” This reason, I find one of the most hilarious; I mean, how could you confuse this shape with a Frog?

To me, it looks more like a skinny turtle. Either way, if I had to choose a reason as to why the French are called frogs, this would be my reason.

How they sound…?

I found one more reason as to why the French might be called Frogs, but I have a hard time believing it, and it sounds mostly satirical. According to a Fodor’s Travel user named Bob The Scholar, “The French were called Frogs a very long time ago because, as the story goes, they sounded like frogs to the people who encountered them (fodors). The French men were said to speak with very deep voices that reminded the strangers of frogs ribbiting!” This is probably the funniest reason I read while researching this topic. It made me chuckle when I first read it. I’ve been taking French since 7th grade, and I don’t really see the resemblance to ribbiting frogs. I know the French speak very fast, and they kind of gag or make a noise like gagging when pronouncing the R’s, but I personally don’t believe they sound like Frogs.

What Ms. Brady (the French teacher) thinks about this–

To end it, I asked Ms. Brady to tell us what she thinks of this term. “I think it’s meant to be derogatory, . . . and we need to stop doing stuff like that.”

Although this may be a new term to some, it’s still a derogatory, potentially harmful or offensive term that we shouldn’t use. Instead, we can hold a friendly conversation with our French peers.

That’s it; those are the best reasons as to why the French may be called Frogs, whether Spiegelman (author of Maus II) represented the French as frogs was motivated by the common nickname or not, I kind of am thankful he did because I got to learn an interesting, but chaotic origin of a common idea about the French.

How Bad My World Would Be Without Marley

May 18, 2023 by szachik@pvs.org Leave a Comment

Here at The Bird on Fire, we toyed with the idea “What if ________ was erased?” What if your best friend never was? What if home disappeared? What if the “missing link” went missing? What if Tucker Carlson was canceled? Jess looks to her beloved Marley and highlights life with her favorite Chihuahua.

By Junior Jess Billimore

This is Marley.

As you can see, she is very charming.

I have had Marley for just over two years now and my world would implode without her.

To begin with, as you have already seen, Marley is stunning.

I mean who wouldn’t want to wake up to that face?

Marley is very caring also. Whenever I’m having a bad day, she knows and takes care of me. She does this by bringing me toys, being extra silly, licking my tears and giving me extra love and cuddles.

She’s also a very intimidating guard dog. Marley is an expert at scaring away flies and other insects, and frightening objects such as La Croix cans. I probably wouldn’t be alive without her protection.

In addition, Marley is absolutely hilarious. She loves playing with bottle caps, leaves, and her favorite toy Lamby. She is so funny when she plays with them because she acts like they are trying to attack her. She also makes the silliest faces sometimes. My personal favorite is when her top lip gets stuck on her teeth (this happens a lot when she’s sleeping).

Marley is very social! She has lots of best friends and is loved by many. Marley impacts the world of even those who don’t know her as they stop to say “Hi,” and I know for a fact that the memory of Marley sticks with them for life.

All in all, Marley is my world, and I can’t imagine my life without her!

Dear Marley

March 21, 2023 by szachik@pvs.org 2 Comments

Meet Marley. You may have seen Marley dropping off and picking up her human Jess in front of the Upper School. Marley leans authoritatively out the passenger-side window sporting a red or pink sweater. Marley, we’ve come to learn, knows much about the world. And, since it is a confusing world out there, we are fortunate Marley has agreed to share her sage advice here at The Bird on Fire.

Hello everyone! It’s me, Marley–your favorite chihuahua. I am very popular and looked up to, so I thought I’d answer some questions from my fans.

Why does your head look so weird? — Luke Sonderman

Hi, Luke, thank you for your question! I have a very large brain which takes up a lot of space. Also, unfortunately, I cannot control how I look. #bekind #bigbrains

Marley, do we have a connection? — Ms. Zachik

Hi, Ms Zachik, of course we do! I love that you got so excited to see me. It made my day. I’d love to meet you in person sometime.

Do you ever get bored of eating the same thing every day? — Louisa Richardson

Actually, I have a well varied diet. I usually begin my morning with some bacon and whipped cream. For lunch, I’ll have some turkey mince, and for dinner I’ll have chicken. About once a month, I’m treated to filet mignon.

What is a wise piece of wisdom you can share? – Maya Karpaty

Always be yourself, even if people make fun of your head shape.

Between you and me, is Jess actually your bestie? How’s our relationship? – Enzo Lomsky

Enzo, you are my true number one bestie. I love you more than I love Jess! Let’s hang soon.

Have you ever thought of running away? — Zachary Kazmouz

Yes, everyday actually. I want to live with my best friend Enzo.

How are you doing? – Simee Patel

I’m really good, thank you! I love answering questions from my friends:) How are you?

What is your favorite thing to do during the day? – Ms. Perea, US Administrative Assistant

I love to annoy my dad when he’s on work calls and sleep in the sun.

How big do you think you are? — Audrey Guess

Such a great question, Audrey! I’m proud to say I weigh 22.5 pounds.* That is a fact.

Have you had any past lives? – Ike Spry

Yes, I was a cat in my past life. #meow. Jess said she wishes I was still a cat.

What is your favorite part of living with Jess? – Mirabelle Lee

Jess is so cool and funny. I love living with her because of that!

What is your favorite toy? — Anais Lee

LAMBY!

Who is your favorite family member? — James Billimore

Obviously, it’s Jess.

Thank you for reading. Tweet me with more questions or add them to the comments here @ thebirdonfire.org. #lovemyfans

*Marley weighs in at 4 lbs.

Learning to Live with a Cat

March 2, 2023 by szachik@pvs.org Leave a Comment

Cats and dogs–not always the same, in fact, rarely the same. Alyna learns about cat life when Bao moves in.

By Alyna Rei

Throughout my 16 years of life, I have had four dogs, one bunny, and a variety of fish. I always thought I was a dog person rather than a cat person. I thought dogs were way cuter and friendlier. From age 10-14, I had two golden retrievers named Lucy and Ethal. Unfortunately, my family and I were too busy to take care of the dogs, so we gave them to a cousin of mine. Through the years, as I became more responsible, I asked to bring Lucy and Ethal back. Unfortunately, we couldn’t bring them back because they were already comfortable with my cousins, so my family left the topic of pets alone. Just this past November, however, my family decided to look for a pet again. We wanted a pet that wasn’t too challenging to take care of. We decided to adopt Bao, a cat.

November 25, 2022

It was my dad’s birthday when we got Bao. We were so excited to take her home that we already had the things that we needed–such as her collar, bed, food, litter box, etc.. We met Bao back in October. It was after school, and my dad found someone on Craigslist who was selling kittens. Bao actually had a black-and-white sister. We were planning on taking both since getting two pets is smarter than one so that the two can bond and keep each other busy. In the end, though, we just decided on Bao since she liked me when we met (and she was cuter). We couldn’t adopt Bao right away. Bao had to stay with her mother until she was at least two months old.

Why the name Bao

My parents and I discussed a lot of cat names. There were three original prospective names: Chai, Rue, and Sipon (See-Pawn). My mom wanted to name Bao Sipon, but I was skeptical since Sipon translates to “snot” in Tagalog (my mom thought it was funny). But, then, I came up with the name Bao. The name makes me think of a dumpling or a pouch, and that was what Bao resembled when I first met her. She was small like a pouch.

Life with Bao

At first, it was easy to take care of Bao while she was still getting used to us. Now, she is six months old, and, it turns out, she can be a chore. There are times when Bao is really calm and sleeps most of the day and night. But, then, she turns really hyper, and I mean really hyper. She runs around the house as if someone is chasing her. It may seem like it’s not a big deal, but, when she runs around the house, she can bump into things. She can knock down anything: pillows, water bottles, toilet paper rolls, or anything dangling.

However, in truth, it is actually a lot easier to take care of a cat than a dog. You don’t have to walk a cat; they clean themselves; and they are litter-box trained (at least Bao was when we got her).

Fun facts about Bao

Bao is a polydactyl cat. She has six toes in the front and five in the back. Apparently polydactyl cats are lucky and rare (halifaxvethospital.com).
She enjoys sunlight a lot and likes to nap near the sun in her cat tree. She sunbathes at least an hour a day.
Speaking of sun, she likes to watch the day out a window or an open door.
The name Bao means something precious/rare. Which is perfect, since her paws are rare.

*This is Bao in Vegas. She likes to look out any window.*

Helpful and Handy Pet Hacks

March 2, 2023 by szachik@pvs.org Leave a Comment

When’s a good time to walk your dog? How can you tell when your dog is under the weather? How do you slip out of the house when your dog has separation anxiety? Ask Louisa.

By Professional Dog Walker Louisa Richardson

I have been walking and sitting for dogs since I was eleven years old. Throughout the years I have picked up knowledge from the puppies and dogs I have walked, as well as the (usually) kind owners. Some things I learned along the way myself.

My business is open in the late summer and winter so I can avoid the intense heat of summer and the many vacations of my clients. The summer is the absolute worst time of the year here for walking. However, you can prevent your pets from feeling the same way! One of the easiest things to do in order to keep your pup cool and comfortable is to place their bed on an elevated surface. This would mean placing your puppy’s bed on a small table or a footstool. The elevation helps air circulate around your sleeping dog. During the day, it is great to have a wet towel for them to relax on. Just lay it out on the floor. Don’t forget that you should not walk your dog when it is above 77 degrees (which can be 125 degrees Fahrenheit on the pavement) (figopetinsurance.com). This heat alone can burn someone’s skin right off; you can only imagine how the pups feel! Fun fact, dogs do not sweat; they pant to keep cool, so if it seems that your pet is hyperventilating, try one of these handy hot-weather hacks!

Just like us, dogs get sick, and the last thing you want when you get sick are people talking in your space. One of the most obvious ways to help this problem is to simply put your pet in a quiet room. In my experience, a good way to keep your pup from getting sick in the first place is to keep their head out of water. This situation can occur when dogs go swimming, are getting bathed, or getting hosed off. If your dog likes swimming or getting wet, this may prove difficult but do the best you can to keep heads out of water. You’re probably wondering why you should do this in the first place; the answer is to prevent ear infections. Ear infections are very common with dogs, and those ear infections can get worse and make the dog sick if left untreated. How do you know if your dog is sick at all? Well, their nose is a very big tell in this game; if the nose is dry, then your pup is likely under the weather.

Does your dog get anxious when you leave? Every dog is different, but you might try leaving something that smells like you with your puppy–maybe a bathrobe, a scarf, not your shoes (if you like your shoes). You can try freezing a washcloth, then it becomes a nice cooling chew toy that will keep your dog busy while you slip away.

So try these helpful tips to give your dog as much comfort as they bring you!

Louisa not only cares lovingly and professionally for our animal friends, she writes about them poetically.

A forever friend

With you to the very end

They’ll curl up and sit right next to you

They even love your friends too

All they need is love, food, and sleep

After that they rarely make a peep

They will always be there when you’re sad

I’ve never even seen a pet get mad

But, be warned of your giant frown

When you have to put them down.
Louisa Richardson

The Escape Artist Hamster

February 28, 2023 by szachik@pvs.org Leave a Comment

By Junior Levi Kassinove

Meet Potter, formerly of the Kassinove household. Below is his story of escape as told by Potter himself.

Note: This story is loosely based on real events in my life. All methods of escape were really executed by my hamster 10 years ago.

1200 Hours

Although I do not know my birth name, the name given to me by the curly-haired human is Potter. For posterity, I am currently typing this via a nanoscale jerry-rigged Raspberry Pi that I smuggled inside of my cheeks on my way out of PetSmart, along with a tiny monitor and keyboard, of course. Either my cheeks are THAT big, or I’ve essentially made a quantum computer, hehe. Anyway, I need to get out of here. This cage is insulting…to my intelligence. I used the human to get out of PetSmart, which was the first step in my plan to gain total freedom. Now, I just need to escape this hippo’s house. Man, I feel like Jack from Jack and the Beanstalk. In other words, me small: curly-haired human big like whale. I’ll be right back; Fee Fi Foh Fum is coming.

Update 1: 1220 Hours

Eughgh, what does he think I am? A stress ball? Oh, I didn’t mean to write that. I have to find a way to turn off speech to text, or maybe I should just stop talking to myself. Whatever, it helps me keep my head clear. I’m going to need a clear head if I want to escape this godforsaken place. My cage has about the same area as a 2×1 square if measured in bananas. The dogs are always barking at the wind, and the house smells…unnatural. I want to know what the Earth smells like, and how it feels to walk on its dirt. I will wait until nightfall to execute my escape plan. This cage doesn’t even have a lock; it’s just a door on the roof. I bet I can pop it open with brute force…

Update 2: 2300 Hours

Unfortunately, eyesight is not one of my redeeming qualities. After wandering aimlessly around the house for a while, I started to worry that I may eventually bump into one of the dogs. So, I am currently ~~hiding~~ camping out in a closet for the night. I did memorize the location of several windows, however, and so I will make my great escape tomorrow night. I had also planned for this eventuality. Before I left, I stored some bedding in my cheeks to sleep on.

Update 3: 0100 Hours (Next Day)

They found me. Those porpoises laughed at me for 5 whole minutes before returning me to my cage. This time, they taped the roof shut. Luckily there’s a circular backdoor used to attach those spine-deforming overpriced tubes to “keep us entertained.” All I have to do is twist off the cap…

Update 4: 0500 Hours

At this time of day, the house is somewhat illuminated, but the giant sloths are still asleep. It should be the perfect time to escape; however, cheekiness has taken over me. On my way out, I was struck by a conviction. I should scare the humans as a parting gift. And so, that is how I ended up spending the better part of an hour resting on top of the curly-haired human’s brother’s head. I am currently waiting for him to wake up. Muahahahhaha

Update 5: 1300 Hours

Although my back may be bruised after being flung against a wall, hearing the screams of the blonde gorilla was totally worth it. But, now, I am in a bit of a pickle. Instead of buying me a new cage with a lock, which I could easily escape from, those penny-pinchers just taped the backdoor shut. I am left with no choice but to use my ultimate weapon…

Update 6: Who cares about human time? I’m free!

I don’t know the point of labeling tape “biodegradable” if it can’t be safely eaten by a hamster. I feel like I poisoned myself. No matter, I can finally see the moon. And soon, I will see the sun. But…this place…it’s suburban. I still have a long way to go before I can find a decent forest or mountain or whatever my natural habitat is. Until then, this is Potter signing off.