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The Bird is the Word: Sophisticated Schoolyard Shenanigans

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Different Time, Same Humans

September 24, 2018 by szachik@pvs.org 1 Comment

By Luke Langlois

Unless you happen to be an 80’s movie star with easy access to a certain DeLorean, you most likely have not time traveled. However, you’ve definitely thought of what kind of petty things you could do with the power of time travel. You could tear the very fabric of the universe in order to procrastinate a little longer! While that would be incredible, the sun may implode before we figure that out. For now if we really want to time travel, we simply need to look to one the world’s greatest inventions, film.

When we young people tend to look back to the land before our conceivable time, it’s usually in black and white photography. While we may think we have a general idea of what’s going on, do we really? Personally, I find it difficult to actually process what I’m seeing. My brain registers a black and white picture as little more than a relic of history. In reality though, these people were once living, breathing, and struggling, just like ourselves. My eyes have recently been opened to the past due to the gears of capitalism–advertisements.

Humans seldom look back on what has changed. We seem to view the mid-20th century as a completely different time with things like the Cold War, funny hats, and video games like Pong. While of course big changes have been made globally and culturally, humans have always been humans. Last weekend, I was on YouTube, a rare occurrence in these junior days. On YouTube, as people do, I looked up “old commercials.” I clicked on a video that was titled “Commercials from the 60s.” I was expecting ridiculous advertisements for irrelevant products or some sort of American propaganda. However, I had heard of almost every product featured (look below for a link to said video). It was almost surreal, though that may be a bit dramatic. Many things have changed, but, in the grand scheme of things, there is so much that hasn’t changed at all. We humans are still just humans. While the advertisements are a bit strange by today’s standards, it’s really just a bunch of food, coffee, or medicine commercials. Yes, the Trix rabbit has been attempting to steal cereal for more than half a century.

The point is, we can’t time travel in the science-fiction sense, but we do have access to a type of time travel. I encourage you all to watch any available old film, audio, or video, to put life, and previous eras, into context. Who knows, maybe you’ll be enlightened! Along with the video of commercials I referenced, check out things such as old political or colorized footage.

Tide–because the world has always been in color.

Link to video of advertisements below. Students, you’ll have to watch it at home.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2AQdyB34so)

Editor: Holden Hartle

Filed Under: Advice, Culture, History, Media, Op-Ed, Technology, The World, Visual Arts Tagged With: Different Time, Luke Langlois, Same Humans, Time Travel

Underseen and Underrated Movies, Vol. 4

September 21, 2018 by szachik@pvs.org 1 Comment

By Leo Milmet

After having a great time polling the Blog Staff on the films they find totally underseen and underrated, I now go back to doing what I do best: recommending movies I think are underseen by my viewers. Try these on for size.

Jackie Brown (Quentin Tarantino, 1997): This film is one of Tarantino’s best, most restrained (and yet most inherently stylistic) films ever. An ensemble crime film about a cool-as-a-cat airplane stewardess and the federal agents and criminals she’s constantly double-crossing at every turn.

Pleasantville (Gary Ross, 1998): A beautiful, vibrant, and meaningful film about the dark side of the relationship between a perceived utopia and real life. Featuring some truly beautiful cinematography by John Lindley.

Collateral (Michael Mann, 2004): A visually unique action film featuring Tom Cruise in a rare villainous role as a hitman who hires a cabbie named Max to take him through Los Angeles in a hellish night of gritty violence, amazing dialogues about jiving jazz music, and, ultimately, moral discovery.

Green Room (Jeremy Saulnier, 2015): A bleak, brutal, grimy, nail-biting thriller about a death metal band caught in a terrible situation. Saulnier creates suspense and tension in this film, and the payoff doesn’t disappoint either.

mother! (Darren Aronofsky, 2017): A thrilling, dark fable with deep roots in mythology that often comes off like the mad ramblings of a genius. This brilliantly written, maddeningly intense nail-biter is one of last year’s best films, featuring a phenomenal, agonizingly intense performance by Jennifer Lawrence.

Do The Right Thing  (Spike Lee, 1989): A powerful, vibrant, and snappily written ensemble film exploring race relations in Brooklyn in the 1980s. The film’s slow burn towards its famously masterful, brilliantly controversial climax is absolutely incredible, and the acting, especially the performances of Danny Aiello, Spike Lee, and John Turturro, is near-perfect. This film is absolutely one of the best ever made.

One, Two, Three (Billy Wilder, 1961): Clearly one of the of the fastest-paced films ever made, this action-packed, satirical masterpiece by Billy Wilder is one of the best comedies of the ‘60s. Featuring James Cagney in a phenomenal role as the selfish, red-white-and-blue-blooded Coca-Cola executive C.R. MacNamara stationed in West Berlin during the time of the city’s separation.

Harold and Maude (Hal Ashby, 1971): A sweet little dark comedy about Harold, a young man obsessed with death, who finds meaning in life through a deep newfound love for Maude, a vibrant, life-loving, seventy-nine-year-old woman.

My Dinner With André (Louis Malle, 1981): An eloquent, philosophical conversation between two men with fascinating mindsets about things most people never even stop to think about represents the majority of this film. Featuring some of the best dialogue ever committed to celluloid, written and delivered on-screen by Wallace Shawn and Andre Gregory.

Caché (Michael Haneke, 2005): A subtle, slow-paced thriller, and a disturbing one at that, this film concerns a man and his wife who are sent eerie VHS tapes of their house. It offers a fascinating look at the dark side of human relationships, and how the demons of one man’s past can affect his whole family in the future.

 

Editor: Holden Hartle

 

Filed Under: Advice, Culture, Fiction, Media, Review, Visual Arts Tagged With: Leo Milmet, Underseen and Underrated

皓HowFashion 02

September 19, 2018 by szachik@pvs.org Leave a Comment

By Fashion Blogger Jeremy Cheng

 

There are so many influencers who play a significant role online.

Especially,

Instagram.

In the country where I was born, China, there are so many different types of similar social medias.

For instance,

People have the chance to share their daily life or other interesting things to others through these media sites.

People hoping to be famous who dream of standing on the stage and getting the attention of others use social media.

For the second part of “HowFashion,” I am going to show you how to appeal to others and get a  bunch of fans!

One of my friends has thousands of fans in Chinese social media. Her name is Emily Lin, and she likes to be called Mikkyob.

Nice: @Mikkyob

Instagram: @mikkyoblin_

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Sometimes, wearing a famous brand is not the main factor behind being handsome or beautiful.

Eye contact, poses, and emotion can make a model look vivid.

The picture on the left shows how a black dress can enhance Mikkyob’s body shape and highlight her curves. The crown makes her look grandiose and gorgeous.

In the middle picture, Mikkyob looks at the camera while chewing bubble gum. It makes her look cute and relatable.

In the picture on the right, Mikkyob decides to sit on the ground and look to the side. It shows her as being cold and elegant. It gives her an icy beauty.

In the right two images, she wears a red and white-striped top and red comfortable trousers. The red earrings cross with the dark green crown. The yellow background adds youth, passion, and enthusiasm.

——————————————————————————————————————————

The most important things have to be said three times!!!

Confidence! Confidence! Confidence!

It is extraordinarily significant to take a supercalifragilisticexpialidocious picture.

 

Mikkyob laid her arm on the chair’s handle and looked at the camera, which makes her look younger. With her feet swinging in the air, she is booming with confidence.

——————————————————————————————————————————

If the weather is pretty and nice, you might be able to take an Instagram-style photo, too. See the following image.

A photographer put Mikkyob in the middle of the photo and leaves half of the photo above her head.

In my opinion, this makes the model look taller. The sky and the pool are gorgeous blues. Plus, Mikkyob’s bikini color goes well with the blue. It has no more than 3 main colors; thus, the images will look lovely and beautiful.

—————————————————————————————————————————

To sum it up, taking a good picture is not hard, as long as you know how to do it and have extra confidence.

If you have any good suggestions or want to talk about your fashion, please comment below this blog, and we will contact you.

The next great fashion expert will be you!!

————————————————————————————————–

More pictures below

Editor: Luke Langlois

Filed Under: Advice, Culture, Fashion, Media, The World Tagged With: HowFashion, Jeremy Cheng

School’s Back: How to Dress to Impress

September 14, 2018 by szachik@pvs.org 1 Comment

 

https://www.apple.com/us-hed/shop/back-to-school

 

Editor: Bella Bier

 

Filed Under: Advice, Culture, Fashion Tagged With: Dress to Impress, Jeremy Cheng

Adventures Through Slab City

September 14, 2018 by szachik@pvs.org 1 Comment

By Blog Adventurer Holden Hartle

Photo credits: Amanda Laule

Not to sound cheesy, but over Labor Day weekend I had the most amazing experience. I, along with a few friends, embarked on a journey around the Salton Sea. On this journey, we stopped at Salvation Mountain and, the real attraction, Slab City.

For those that don’t know, Salvation Mountain is a sculpture made by Leonard Knight. He dedicated 30 years of his life to the spread of one phrase: God is love. This phrase is plastered all over the mountainside. The pull factor of Salvation Mountain, at least for me, is that there is nothing like Salvation Mountain anywhere in the world. Its uniqueness and originality is unmatched.

If you travel half a mile east of Salvation Mountain, you will find Slab City. Residents live completely off the grid. There is no electricity, running water, or most things that make life in the desert comfortable, but residents make it work.

Upon arrival, you are greeted with rows of trailers, which may remind you of a trailer park. But, if that’s the case, this is the single greatest trailer park in the world. Beautiful murals line the entrance, and people are often outside their trailers selling various items, from pottery to art lessons.

Our specific destination was East Jesus, cleverly named as it is east of Salvation Mountain. East Jesus is an art gallery that is made entirely out of recycled material. We get out of the car and enter the appropriately named, West Satin. West Satin is more of a hang-out area rather than an art gallery. Inside was a group of people simply talking about their lives and their stories.

Before leaving home for Slab City, four different people came up to me and said, “Don’t get out of the car. You could get attacked by homeless people.” Let me tell you how glad I am that I didn’t listen to those people. The Slab City residents were some of the most genuinely nice people I have ever met. Though I never got his name, one resident gave us some insight into why and how someone would live there.

When I asked the man how he lives without common amenities, he responded with his own question, “How do you live?”

“With electricity and air conditioning.”

“Are you happy?”

“I’d say so.”

“Are you stressed?”

“Well, everyone is stressed where I live.”

“That is how I live comfortably. There are no electricity bills, no utility bills, and no rent. You just live. There is no timetable for when you have to do something. You just do it whenever you can.” To adults who pay bills and to teenagers who are generally stressed all of the time, this sounds like a Utopia. But it wasn’t always so Utopian.

When the government was surveying the area to build a wall between America and Mexico, they tried to drive the residents out. Their way of accomplishing this was to shut off Slab City’s water. Though he didn’t go into exact details, the man explained that now they have more water than before the government concreted their water pipes.

Their stress-free life and their sense of community is something that I’ve never seen before. We live in a society where we need to get everything done on a schedule, but why not take a breath? The residents of Slab City are living full Hakuna Matata, with no worries or cares. Most of us say that we could never live without our electronics or air conditioning, but look at the hundreds of people living in our backyard that have no electronics, yet they are some of the happiest people I’ve ever met. Maybe there is something to take away from these Slab City-ians about how to live a happy life.

Editor: Luke Langlois

Filed Under: Advice, Culture, driving dirt roads, The Outdoors, The World, Travel Tagged With: Holden Hartle, Slab City

Underseen and Underrated Movies Vol. 3: Polling the Staff

September 13, 2018 by szachik@pvs.org 1 Comment

By Blogger and thebirdonfire Resident Film Critic Leo Milmet

After sharing some of my personal picks, I feel like it is my turn to be educated on the tastes of others in the Palm Valley community. Therefore, I interviewed several members of the Blog Staff about films they find totally underseen and/or underrated. Enjoy!

Dying To Survive (Muye Wen, 2018)

“A based-on-a-true-story about a Chinese man who was prosecuted for buying leukemia medicine from India. The film reflects the humanity and the problem with medicine control in the Chinese government. It tells the truth!”–Jeremy Cheng

 

Sky High (Mike Mitchell, 2005)

“This is a fun movie about a superhero high school with a star-studded cast. Don’t watch it if you’re expecting something with the punch of a Marvel movie. I wouldn’t consider it a form of amazing art, but it’s a good, short movie to relax with and watch on a rainy day.”–Luke Langlois

Johnny from The Room

The Room (Tommy Wiseau, 2003)

“Try to recreate this movie. You can’t. It’s so unique and original, and it’s never been done before.”–Holden Hartle

Wild Child (Nick Moore, 2008)

“It’s just really good in a dumb, underrated movie sort of way. It’s not a great movie, but I just really like it. But it’s really good. Just remember I told you to watch it.”–Makena Behnke

The Trouble With Angels (Ida Lupino, 1966)

Anonymous suggestion. The movie speaks for itself.

The Green Hornet (Michel Gondry, 2011)

“It’s a superhero movie, but it’s not a total superhero movie. It’s good. The performances are entertaining.”–James Zheng

Aquamarine

Aquamarine (Elizabeth Allen Rosenbaum, 2006)

“It’s good.”–Bella Bier

Editor: Holden Hartle

Filed Under: Advice, Culture, Fiction, Media, Review Tagged With: Leo Milmet, Underseen and Underrated

Picture Day: A Poem

September 12, 2018 by szachik@pvs.org 2 Comments

By Leo Milmet

Picture day, when people try to look their best so they can have an unrealistic nostalgia trip in forty years.

Picture day, when you take a picture with EXACTLY the right amount of smile.

Picture day, when they rank kids from tallest to shortest so they can get in exactly the right place on an uncomfortable metallic bench.

Picture day, a day of hell for people who hate the word (and/or the food) “cheese.”

Picture day, a day that unapologetically and openly celebrates vanity, as opposed to other days which apologetically and subtextually celebrate vanity.

Picture day, the day when you sit out in the hotter-than-Hades desert sun, squinting in its radiating brightness, and waiting as the photographer perfects the camera settings.

Picture day, where you better remember to wear formal dress or you may not be in the class photo.

 

So, please, remember to wear formal dress on Picture Day at Palm Valley School, this Tuesday, September 18th, 2018.

Editor: Luke Langlois

Filed Under: Advice, Culture, Current News, School Events Tagged With: Leo Milmet, Picture Day

Monster Prom Game Review–Better Than Human Prom (And Cheaper, Too!)

September 7, 2018 by szachik@pvs.org Leave a Comment

By Dayton Kennard

 

Hey there! If you watch YouTubers Markiplier, Jacksepticeye, CrankGameplays, or TheRPGMinx, then chances are you’ve seen them play Monster Prom. If you haven’t, then hopefully this post gives you a good idea of what it is.

 

WARNING: Monster Prom would likely be M for MATURE by the Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB), meaning that it would generally be suitable for people aged seventeen and up due to sexual content, strong (explicit) language, drug usage, and alcohol consumption. Monster Prom was released on 27 April, 2018, and developed by Beautiful Glitch, programmed by Elías Pereiras, published by Those Awesome Guys, written by Julián Quijano, Cory O’Brien, and Maggie Herskowitz, and illustrated by Arthur Tien.

 

The game itself is a dating sim/visual novel that mocks typical dating sims as well as mocking itself. The game includes easter eggs that can range in allusion from 50 Shades of Grey to Disney. The game also has a built-in multiplayer mode where you and up to three friends can compete to see who gets a date to Prom, or even compete for the love of the same character!

The story takes place at a school called Spooky High in the player’s Senior Year, three weeks before Prom. You’ve narrowed down your prom-date choices to six monsters: Miranda Vanderbilt the Mermaid Princess (age 19), Damien LaVey the Reckless Demon (21), Scott Howl the Werewolf Jock (21), Liam De Lioncourt the Hipster Vampire (4XX), Polly Geist the Party Ghost (22?), and Vera Oberlin the Ruthless Gorgon (23). After the intro, you’ll take Monster Prom’s Stupidest Pop Quiz Ever™ that “will throw a bunch of absurd questions at you and turn your answers into your character’s stats.” Said stats are Smarts, Boldness, Creativity, Charm, Fun, and Money, which affect your interactions with the characters. You’re then introduced to the game with a short tutorial that explains how your character’s stats work, how the activities you do give your certain stats, and how events can either help or harm you.

A few more cool things are that your gender doesn’t affect who you can and can’t date, and there are two game types you can choose from: Short Game (around 30-minutes long) and Full Game (around 60-minutes long). With the goofy situations, fun characters, quick gameplay, and forgiving penalties that you can quickly recover from, Monster Prom is a captivating game with lots of replay value! If this sounds interesting to you, I recommend you head over to the game’s Steam page* and buy it! It’s only $11.99, which is over 50% cheaper than a typical $50 prom ticket!

Editors: Peter Kadel and Bella Bier

*https://store.steampowered.com/app/743450/Monster_Prom/

Filed Under: Culture, Review, Technology Tagged With: Dayton Kennard, Monster Prom Game Review

A Misportrayed Krab

September 5, 2018 by szachik@pvs.org 2 Comments

By new-to-the-2018-19-birdonfire staff, Blogger Luke Langlois

 

What’s the first word you think of when presented with our favorite animated restaurant owner, Mr. Krabs? It could be something like red, shiny, or even pointy-nosed. Unfortunately, the most prominent description of Mr. Krabs is “cheap.” How often do people use the word “cheap” in a good light? If you’re in need of a bag of Doritos, and a friend won’t lend a dollar, you’d call that friend cheap. If someone gets genuinely excited by a penny on the floor, they’re cheap. If your employer sells your soul for sixty-two cents, they’re cheap. By all accounts, Eugene Krabs has shown himself to be the stereotypical cheapskate. Society would like you to think that being the dictionary definition of a cheapskate is NOT a good thing. Though, is Mr. Krabs truly a cheap crab at heart? Or, is he an overly generous employer? After a brief look at some numbers, the answer is pretty clear.

Let’s take a look at the typical fast-food employee of the United States and compare it to Mr. Krab’s employees. In the United States, someone in the fast food industry is paid about $18,000 a year. In most large cities, the median rent per month for an average apartment would be at least $1,000. Without covering taxes, or any other basic need, that would amount to $12,000 a year, a majority of the salary of an average employee. Clearly, the average fast food employee does not make even close to enough to live in a safe apartment in the city while covering any other basic needs or amenities. How miserable! Who could ever work in the fast-food industry and live a fulfilled life? Spongebob and Squidward could.

Now, we can take a look at Spongebob and Squidward, Mr. Krabs’s two most loyal employees of nearly twenty years. Both of these fast-food employees are clearly able to provide for themselves. They have sizable and safe households. Besides being the owners of safe and decently sized domiciles, Spongebob and Squidward live in the outskirts of a prime city under the ocean.  As far as us viewers know, there are no other major cities in existence in the Spongebob universe. Adding on to this, the most desirable homes in cities are usually the suburban ones, such as Spongebob’s pineapple or Squidward’s Easter Island Head. To sum it up, these employees live in safe and spacious homes in the prime of this aquatic metropolis. Not only that, but Spongebob and Squidward have been known to have more than just basic needs. Spongebob is well known for his expert caretaking as well as jellyfishing. Like Spongebob, Squidward is able to pursue his passions. He paints, plays the clarinet, and even takes dance lessons. These are all expensive pursuits, especially in a capitalist society! In comparison to our above-water society, Squidward and Spongebob are paid exceptionally well for their seemingly mundane jobs in the fast-food industry.

Does the point not drive itself home? Mr. Krabs, mistakenly portrayed as a cheap and horrible crab to work for, is in fact one of the most generous people you could EVER work for. If you hear anyone call Mr. Krabs cheap, sit them down and make sure their minds are forever changed.

 

DISCLAIMER: While Mr. Krabs pays generously and allows his two employees to live a good life, he has made a few mistakes. Luke does not personally support the following: thievery, counterfeiting, 24/7 labor, selling the souls of employees, assault of employees, jellyfish slavery, grave robbery, attempted murder, or charging people for breathing.

 

Editor: Bella Bier

Filed Under: Culture, Fiction, Humor, Media, The World Tagged With: Luke Langlois, Mr. Krabs, Spongebob

Quotable Quotes from FAST AND FURIOUS

June 6, 2018 by szachik@pvs.org Leave a Comment

By Claire Jenkins

The Fast and Furious franchise is known for many excellent one liners. Below are a few of my favorites:

 

  1. “I don’t have friends. I have family.” – Dom Toretto (Furious 7) A great motto, close friends are like family.
  2. “I live my life a quarter mile at a time.” – Dom Toretto (Furious 1) Live FAST! die YOUNG!
  3. “Ask any racer, any real racer. It don’t matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning is winning.” – Dom Toretto (Furious 1) The competitor in me loves this quote. Winning is indeed winning.
  4. “The most important thing in life will always be the people in this room. Right here, right now.” – Dom Toretto (Furious 5) The idea of living in the present is a great idea. Wish I could relate.
  5. “Life’s simple. You make choices and you don’t look back.” – Han Lue (Furious 3) Life really is simple if you think about it. I agree.
  6. “Hey, we do what we do best. We improvise, all right?” – Brian O´Conner (Furious 6) Who needs a plan anyways? It’s fine.
  7. “Why don’t you just pack it up before I leave treadmarks on your face.” – Letty (Furious 1) Letty is my soulmate, that’s it.
  8. “You might want to keep your eyes on the road, playboy.” – Monica Fuentes (Furious 2) Just a solid quote. Eyes on the road, kids.
  9. “Who you choose to be around lets you know who you are.” – Han Lue (Furious 3) Your friends say a lot about you as a person. Keep the good ones around.
  10. “You’re loyal to a fault. Your code is about family and that’s great in the holidays, but it makes you predictable. And in our line of work, predictable means vulnerable.” – Owen Shaw (Furious 6) It’s nice to be loyal, but it can also get you into trouble.
  11. “Where you go I go, where you ride I ride, where you die I die.” – Letty (Furious 6) AWW. Dom and Letty are the bestestest couple. Through explosions, memory loss, car crashes, and lost love, Dom and Letty stick together.
  12. “Nobody makes me do anything I don’t want to do.” – Letty (Furious 6) Again, Letty is THE best.

Quotes from:

https://www.drivingline.com/articles/top-10-most-quotable-one-liners-from-fast-and-furious/

https://geeks.media/30-of-the-best-quotes-from-the-fast-and-the-furious-film-franchise-so-far

 

Editor: Peter Kadel

*Also, these are Peter’s favorite movies.

Filed Under: Advice, Culture, Media, Review Tagged With: Claire Jenkins, Quotable Quotes from Fast and Furious

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About

We are the Palm Valley Firebirds of Rancho Mirage, California. Join us in our endeavors. Venture through the school year with us, perusing the artwork of our students, community, and staff. Our goal is to share the poems, stories, drawings and photographs, essays and parodies that come out of our school. Welcome aboard!