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A New Year’s Post for The Haters

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By Freshman Louisa Richardson

I hate New Year’s resolutions. I hate everyone asking me about what my New Year’s resolution is. I misread the situation. I say something funny or realistic, and they say something that I think is a joke because it’s so unrealistic, BUT THEY ARE BEING SERIOUS. Another reason I hate New Year’s resolutions is that they are always given up on. When you fail, you feel bad. 

Ever since I was a kid, my mother (whom I love) has asked me what my goal is in the summer, winter, and of course for the NEW YEAR. For several years, I got away with saying that I wanted to learn how to do a back handspring, until the fateful day that I quit gymnastics. So then after that, I started learning something called sarcasm. Essentially every time someone asks me my New Year’s resolution, I either lecture them about why established habits are better, or I say some rather odd response: my favorite being, “Chair,” but my go-to is “to high dive off of the sun.”  Such replies are said, of course, with a completely straight face. I am sick of New Year’s resolutions. The thing is that other people aren’t. I have heard countless times, “My New Year’s resolution is to go to the gym and work out every day!” Fun fact the gym has the most membership cancellations right after the new year (70.4 percent to be exact) (New York Post). Which brings me to my next point, why New Year’s resolutions are unrealistic.

New Year’s resolutions have always been rather unattainable. The top resolutions in general are to save money and go to the gym (Massive entertainment). Despite the fact that only 9 percent of New Year’s resolutions last for more than a few months (OSU), I still hear so many people talking about these completely unrealistic expectations for themselves! Though these unrealistic expectations lead to frustration, disappointment, and sadness (Counseling), people still want to put themselves through the trial of New Year’s resolutions! According to a study in 2014, 35% of these resolutions are completely unrealistic, and 23% are forgotten (Face off).  According to reclaim.ai, 80% of these resolutions are thrown out by the second Friday in January. Quitting your resolutions by the second Friday of January apparently is so common that the day is  known as “Quitters Day.” Many people believe that the largest reason why resolutions fail is because we as humans set the expectation a little too high (Very Well Mind). I can’t help but agree. The thing we really should start doing is setting habits. 

My New Year’s habit this year is to move my body for at least 45 minutes. It’s not a wish, or an unrealistic goal, but a simple walk. It helps lower blood pressure, build muscle, and even helps blood to flow a little easier (Honor Health). Movement  is great for mental health! Walking for just 10 minutes a day can increase positive mood, alertness, and reduce stress and anxiety (Mental Health Foundation). Taking a walk with my mom, neighbor (and best friend) Kate, or even just calling some friends while I walk is my favorite pastime right now–that and climbing trees. If you need a little mental health and physical pick-me-up, try to get outside for at least 15 minutes every day. You will feel better. I highly recommend these New Year’s habits because they will help you in the future. Whether your habit is to get outside, walk, or wear more makeup, it’s always good to start a habit that invests in yourself, even if your need is catching up on your sleep. After all, in the words of our blog teacher herself, “Even humans need to hibernate–just like bears.” 

As you can see, there have been studies upon studies for these sorts of resolutions and expectations, and . . . failures–which very much backs up my speculation that perhaps New Year’s resolutions aren’t so great after all. Perhaps next year, a resolution could be to start making good habits.

The Chaos of Family Dinners

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By 8th Grader Jackie Doyle Padgett

Gil, that sneaky master of mischief, challenged the Blog Class to write about Chaos. As we are here sandwiched between Thanksgiving and Winter Holiday fare, Jackie immediately thought of the chaos of sitting down to dinner with family. Multiple generations coming together, the extra leaf in the table, the dogs loose–what could possibly go wrong?

You’ve probably had at least one big family dinner where all of your grandparents and cousins and friends come over for the holidays, and, if so, you know it can be utter chaos. Maybe your new little cousin is running around, and you’re stuck watching them, or your uncle brought up the same embarrassing story he tells all of your friends when you bring them to dinner. There are a lot of complicated layers and minefields to family dinners: the food, the miscommunication, the animals, the kids, the occasional assault, and disease.

Food

A lot can go wrong with food: the process of cooking it,  the process of eating it; and (in Ms. Schapiro’s case) regarding what to wear while eating it. 

Ms. Brady, our current French teacher, told me when she was younger her mom was cooking Thanksgiving dinner. Her family normally ate between 2 and 4 p.m. Her mom would get up early and begin cooking so that all the family would wake up to the smell of the turkey. For some reason one Thanksgiving morning, Ms. Brady didn’t smell turkey cooking. The family soon realized the oven was broken. After hours in the oven, the turkey hadn’t even started to cook. They decided to eat pizza instead. 

French Teacher Brady and her parents (sans turkey)

Matteo Lam, sophomore, said he was around six years old when he held the belief that he “could swallow grapes whole.” He tried it. It didn’t end well. Matteo said, “I could’ve died; I’m okay now though.” 

Zoe Groendycke, 7th grade, said one Thanksgiving her grandpa came over to dinner, and he started choking on the turkey. Zoe’s stepdad ran to the rescue and did the Heimlich Maneuver. Then her grandpa decided to leave because he thought the food tasted bad.  

Zoe Groendycke remembers a Thanksgiving mishap. (No relatives were harmed in the telling of this chaotic tale.)

Ms. Schapiro tells us her mom is “basically a professional cook,” so for her big family dinners they focus on the food. Since she and her brother are grown adults and have their own homes, they’ve developed their own dining habits–some different from their mom’s. Sometimes dinner etiquette is an issue. Ms. Schapiro said, “My mom doesn’t like me eating barefoot during dinner–even though my feet are under the table.” 

Ms. Schapiro, it is rumored, did wear shoes at her son’s wedding.

Miscommunication

Whether you text or talk in person, there’s bound to be some miscommunication regarding dinner plans. Rhys provides a prime example of the chaos that can ensue when the hosts don’t get the message.

Rhys Foxx, 8th grader, told me, “My sister came to dinner without a boyfriend, and we realized they broke up. . . . We never knew.” Until dinnertime.

This is what happens when Rhys misses key background context before sitting down to dinner.

Animals

Originally I wasn’t going to make a section for animals, but animals kept coming up in the middle of family dinner chaos. I decided these creatures could be a main source of mischief. 

Sierra James, 8th grader, said at one dinner “My dad spent like 30 minutes cooking burgers, and once he set it on the table, my dog Bo jumped on the chair and ate like half of the hamburger bun.”

Bo lives in the James household and is known to steal hamburger buns. Don’t let the innocent expression fool you.

Kimberly Sayers, 8th grader, said once, “During dinner my cat was scratching the table cloth, and its nail got caught. She ended up almost pulling the entire thing off–it was filled with food by the way.” 

The sharp-clawed Robo, who rules the Sayers household, attempts the dinnertable Houdini maneuver on the bathtub.

Ms. Maguire once put chicken on the counter. One of her cats, Thor, jumped up and stole an entire chicken breast.

Known to steal chicken breasts intended for dinner, Thor the cat lived out his nine lives in the Maguire household.

John Webster, 8th grader, recalled A Case of Missing Turkey: “My mom left the house, after making turkey, to pick me up from soccer. She accidentally left turkey out on the counters, and when we came back it was all gone. We assume the dogs ate all of it.” 

Miscellaneous

I couldn’t choose where to put the remaining stories, so here’s a grab bag of Miscellaneous family dinner mishaps. You’ll find all sorts of things in here: music, collarbone casualties, and, sadly, sickness; try not to get lost.

(Anthony) Tony Ratner, 8th grader, recalled one dinner when “We’re in this tiny 150-square-foot room, and we have this big speaker . . . . I put it full blast playing Gangnam Style. Then I showed the fools (aka his family?) in that room the best moves they’d ever seen. They took videos and everything and we had pumpkin pie. COSTCO PUMPKIN PIE. Put that in all caps, please. Then, we lived happily ever after.”

Tony Ratner often travels with his own music, and inflicts it upon friends and family.

Sawyer Falzone, senior, recounted babysitting a gaggle of kids during one holiday dinner. They think they were 9 years old and their parents asked them and their cousin (around 7 years) if they could help babysit these kids. The kids were . . . 5 and under. One problem was that there were 5 kids . . . on a huge ranch. “Somehow we managed to keep everything under control.” 

Ms. Zachik had a family tradition of playing flag football while her mom would make dinner. The entire family (except Mom) would go to the park with neighbors and friends. Well, during one game she pushed her dad to the ground. He ended up in the ER. “I forgot whether it was a dislocated shoulder or a broken collarbone,” she said.

Ms. Zachik is guilty of rough flag-football play in pre-Thanksgiving-dinnertime warm up.

Rachel De La O, junior, said, “Last year Thanksgiving around an hour after we ate, my sister went into labor.”

Finally in our last response, Charlie Cowley, 7th grader, faced a very contemporary Thanksgiving problem: “Everyone got Covid after our dinner.” 

When I started this blog post idea, I didn’t expect to get some of these crazy stories, but, honestly, they’ve been so fun to read. If I missed you in my interview session, make sure to put your chaotic dinner story in the comments below. 

How to Make Tamales

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We wanted to squeeze in one more Levi post before the year ends and December–Tamale-making season–passes. Happy New Year!

By Junior Levi Kassinove

My family’s annual tamale-making party, where we are making pork tamales.

If you haven’t had a tamale before, I’m sorry. They are more than delicious; they are divine. It is a one of a kind texture, with a flavorful inside. They can be dinner and dessert. The ingredients that go into tamales are no less than the elements of life itself, such as meat, vegetables, and cheese. If you want to try a tamale, wait until December to ask your Mexican friend if you can tag along with them to their family’s annual tamale-making party. I guarantee you they will happily accept. Or, wait until next year’s Tamale Festival in November, which is also where fellow blogger and food-lover Luke Sonderman saved a turtle. Full disclosure, tamales and turtles are COMPLETELY unrelated.

What is it and how are they made?

Tamales are basically pockets of masa–that can be filled with absolutely anything–wrapped in a corn husk. But, before we can get into the different types of tamales and how they are made, we need to understand what masa actually is. Masa is corn that has gone through a process called nixtamalization, which is a chemical process that involves soaking and cooking corn in an alkaline solution. In 1000 BCE, when we didn’t know what chemistry was, it is estimated that people in Mesoamerica put chunks of limestone in boiling water to make the alkaline solution. It is not known what originally drove people to put limestone in water to boil corn, but it works…Okay, I’ll say what we are all thinking. It was divine intervention. 

Masa being spread across a corn husk (muydelish.com)

After the masa is made, it is spread on a corn husk as seen in the picture. From there, one can put anything they want on the masa. If it’s a savory tamale, the most common things to put on it are shredded pork with a red chile sauce (my personal favorite), chicken, or cheese and peppers. If it’s sweet, some common tamales I’ve seen are mango, strawberry, and blueberry. I have never seen a chocolate tamale before. Usually, a dessert tamale is just a tamale with fruit. 

Strawberry tamale (dorastable.com) 

After the toppings are put on, the corn husk is wrapped to create a sort of rectangular burrito. It is then steamed until the masa is solid yet soft so that it holds shape, as seen with the strawberry tamale. The texture of masa is hard to describe; you’ll have to experience it for yourself. It is light and airy, but with much more flavor than a typical tortilla. Also, masa can be added to a sort of hot chocolate along with brown sugar to make champurrado, a drink fit for the winter. In conclusion, you gotta try it. 

The Story Behind Daylight Savings

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By Levi Kassinove

Daylight Savings Time (DST) is a period that lasts from Spring to Autumn, which begins when clocks are turned forward one hour. This offset lasts until Autumn, which is when clocks are turned back one hour. On that day in the Spring when we turn clocks forward, one hour in the day disappears. To balance it out, we gain one hour in the Autumn. Unsurprisingly, many people are unhappy about losing an hour in the day. But who is to blame? And, what are the pros and cons of the time shift?

It was first proposed by Benjamin Franklin who sarcastically said that waking up earlier would save candle use and money (Daylight Saving Time). It was then proposed by an entomologist in 1895 who wanted to have more daylight hours to devote to collecting insects (Daylight). His name was George Hudson. Nowadays, only a minority of the world practices Daylight Savings. Asia and Africa generally don’t, along with places of high latitudes and places near the equator (Wikipedia). The real reason for Daylight Savings is to follow the daylight shift that happens naturally as the seasons change. In the Summer, daylight lasts longer. So it makes sense to add an extra hour to the day by moving the clocks forward. If you normally wake up at 8 am, and the clocks are turned forward to 9 am, then you’d have to wake up at (your old) 7 am to wake up at 8 am. Now you have an extra hour of daylight. The same logic is applied for turning the clocks backward in the Winter, since daylight is shorter during Winter. You gain an hour in a day that’s growing shorter. It’s a little confusing, but the point is that Daylight Savings aligns our days with the changing sunrise and sunset. This is why places near the equator and places on completely opposite sides of the equator don’t use Daylight Savings. The places near the equator experience a negligible difference in the sunrise and sunset times as the seasons change. While the places on opposite sides of the equator, at high latitudes, experience such a drastic change in daylight hours that changing clocks one hour wouldn’t be enough. 

Daylight Savings has more downsides than upsides, according to many people. A common myth is that it was implemented for farmers so that they can have more time to water their corn or whatever farmers do. Point is, farmers hate Daylight Savings Time. They say that Daylight Savings Time disrupts cows’ readiness to be milked (Agriculture Myth). The actual reason why Daylight Savings Time (DST) was created was to conserve energy during WWI; however, multiple studies have shown that DST actually doesn’t save any energy (California Energy Commission Study). And, health experts argue that DST disrupts your circadian rhythm, which is otherwise in tune with Standard Time (uofmhealth.org). Despite this, Congress has been interested in permanently changing clocks to DST. As a matter of fact, the U.S. Senate on March 15 passed legislation that would make Daylight Saving Time permanent starting in 2023. 

I think it’s clear that Daylight Savings is an outdated concept that should be abolished. It doesn’t save energy, and it has public health risks. And, when we switch between time standards, it’s such a pain to change mechanical clocks.

Have You Celebrated a Woman Lately?

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By Alyna Rei

Throughout the month of March, we celebrate women: Malala, Maya Angelou, Rosa Parks, Eleanor Roosevelt, Anne Frank, Amelia Earhart, and more. This month is Women’s History Month! Women’s History Month is a designated month that recognizes the important contributions women have made throughout history.

Before we celebrated a full month of women, the actual celebration only spread out a week. The “Women’s History Week” became a local celebration in 1978. The Education Task Force of Sonoma County selected the week of March 8th to go with International Women’s Day. This movement eventually spread through other communities. In 1980, a group of women and historians wanted national recognition. In February 1980, President Jimmy Carter declared the week of March 8th as National Women’s Week. Since then, every community has celebrated Women’s History Week. In 1987, Congress passed public law and designated March as Women’s History Month. Between 1988 and 1994, Congress kept on requesting and authorizing March as Women’s History Month. Since 1995, each President has issued proclamations trying and succeeding to designate the month of March to represent Women’s History Month (womenshistory.org).

The Women History Month Alliance selects the yearly theme. This year, the theme for 2022 is “Providing Healing, Promoting Hope.” This is a tribute to the work of caregivers and frontline workers during this pandemic. This would also be a recognition to all the women of various cultures who have provided healing and hope throughout the years (nationalwomenshistoryalliance.org).

womenshistorymonth.gov

The women that inspire me~

Many famous women inspire me, but I feel the most inspired by my family. My grandmother and my mother teach me new things everyday: how to water my plants, what to read, how to be grateful. Who are the women you celebrate?

Qixi: In the Mood for Love

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By Quintus Ni

Quintus addresses Katelin’s theme of “Seasonal Holidays” with the mythological story of the Weaving Maiden and the Cowherd, celebrated in early fall in China during the Qixi Festival.

The weather turns colder and colder in the north. On such cool days, the Qixi Festival comes as expected, which arouses my deeper lovesickness for you, especially for your tranquil and calm temperament. At the moment, I wonder whether you in the distance are reading the love poem I wrote.

Time goes by, slips from our fingertips bit by bit and soon disappears in the long river of years. Our mixed feelings of happiness and sorrow are swept away by the stream of time.

Despite the change of seasons, yesterday is still fresh in my mind. The charming ardor in the air of August is full of the sweet-scented osmanthus fragrance you left. The lonely attic and the closed wooden window couldn’t lock the deep melancholy expressed in my teary eyes.

 In the cool season, a rush of grief and bitterness suddenly runs through me. The wild wind blows away all the warmth and tenderness that once existed.

As the withered branches decay, the fleeting time heals everything. Still, the special feeling for you in the depth of my heart remains. Inadvertently, many memories of the past are gone without a trace. On this particular day, the Qixi Festival, I miss you again. There is the softest part in my heart. I feel anew the unfading deep love for you.

Sometimes I’m beset by negative emotions when I cannot see you. I cry into the air with open arms and ask how I can forget you. The deeper love sickness is, the greater pain is. I miss you so much that I’m overwhelmed by grief.

The Qixi Festival walks towards us at a lotus-like pace, waving her colorful sleeves. Skimming over the clear and refreshing waves, she twists her slender waist and swings a flower fan with her slightly parted red lips as if to tell me an ancient love story.

Listen to me, Qixi is a story happening three thousand years ago. Turning from sadness to happiness and joy to sorrow, I get to know the love of never betraying and understand lovers’ mutual attachment. On this day, wounds caused by the hopeless waiting of couples are cured. On the seventh day of the seventh lunar month, I would also like to have you in my arms.

Our Qixi Festival comes in this way. As I stare at the crescent moon which sheds light on the windows, I become more lovesick for you. Today, let’s leave behind all the sadness and bitterness and quietly feel the love of our inner hearts. On this occasion, I recall that one of the greatest poets Bai Juyi once said, “Love and hatred for each other are poured out … for all on that night.”

As for the romantic entanglement in the world, I will simply interpret it as love, hatred, relationship and animosity. It’s known to all that love is untouchable. When in love, I only want to experience a strong sense of happiness so that wonderful memories can be recalled in our twilight years. The only thing I want to tell you is that the pleasant emotional experience you have brought me is a warm one that drives away my innermost loneliness along the long, hard journey. Therefore, my gratitude for you is the purest and the most genuine. Hatred is also untouchable, which only causes distress after the initial passion fades. The kisses you have given me are a double-edged sword which hurts when we are separate. Although situations vary from time to time, the pains caused by a love relationship are indelible, only known by people who have experienced it.

Relationships are painstakingly pursued by passionate men and women. Even with their hearts broken and bleeding, they are willing to seek after the invisible sweetness and the ineffable happiness. What you inspire me to imagine is the elegance and free spirit you show on the journey full of ups and downs. And animosity is just a sentiment vanishing in the air.

But between us, there is only mutual concern and understanding. At this moment, the appreciation of love enables us to cherish each other.

In this golden season full of chrysanthemums, I’d like to sing a melodious love song for you. My enthusiastic sound of singing will float away from my lonely roof and fly into the branch of August like a nightingale, and then fall into the Qixi pond where we can play and sing together in the water. Listen, the song arouses waves of spray, flying up high to the open sky. Surrounded by the beautiful song, we heartily release ourselves, free and unfettered.

In clouds and mists, you’re the Weaving Maid in legend, and I’m the Cowherd. Tonight, the star-studded Milky Way outshines a myriad of twinkling lights. Let us drink dew in the rosy clouds. Our union is so blessed that flowers bloom. 

Each year, when the chrysanthemums are in bloom, my garden will be filled with bursts of fragrance. In the rosy clouds, accompanied by the enchanting sound of flutes, we chase after each other and dance trippingly, jointly composing a new chapter of incomparable romance and innocence!

Want to know more about the story of the Weaving Maid and the Cowherd? 

https://gbtimes.com/qixi-festival-and-story-chinese-valentines-day

Seasonal Holidays Editor: Katelin Mei

The Christmas Truce

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By Chelsea

Almost 104 years ago, during WWI, a truce between the British and German army will forever go down in history as one of the most heartwarming things that humanity has done.

It all started on December 25th when the troops from both sides had ceased fire temporarily due to the nice weather that they rarely got. The tensions were still strong between both troops on the front lines at that point. But later that day, the watchmen of the Scots Guard on the British parapets spotted German troops putting up tannenbaum on their trench parapets. At first, they suspected an attack, but then they heard the Germans singing. Their voices wafted across the no-man’s land, “Stille Nacht, heilige Nacht.” The original Austrian version of “Silent Night.” The British, sensing they were being challenged, and under the order of Lieutenant Sir Edward Hulse, also started singing their own carol. Both sides started off as a competition but soon merged into a harmony. The men began to shout Christmas greetings across the line, and after a while, the Germans made the first move. They promised the English they would not shoot if the English did not return fire. This was shouted from the other side of the trench. Some were even brave enough to walk onto the no-man’s land while waving newspapers to the other side. These actions were extremely dangerous, and not all sections of the British trench gave those unarmed German soldiers a warm greeting. But most of the sectors remained at ceasefire. The next day, when the British troops looked across the no-man’s land, to their shock, they saw the Germans walking across their parapets. And by that gesture of trust, the Germans lured more and more British out of their lair. Soon enough, the two sides buried their dead in common graves, exchanged gifts, gave haircuts, and even played Kickabouts together! In one sector; a group of highlanders challenged a Saxon regiment who burst out laughing whenever a kilt flew up during play. 

This was the situation that the Field Marshal of the French had feared. Commanders dispatched senior officers to threaten disciplinary actions. The soldiers had no choice but to resume the war; some sectors had their officers from both sides salute and fire revolvers into the air, signaling the end of the ceasefire. A few sectors even carried out their ceasefire until the 30th, nearly to New Year’s Eve.

This kind of ceasefire was never to be seen again, even though many men in December of 1915 tried to do the same but ended up failing and getting court-martialed.

The spirit of that truce in 1914 was unique; it was one of the rare moments in a war where people believed that humanity was better than the hellfire of the fighting. To this day, “the truce” serves as a reminder that we can still find the brightest sparks during our darkest moments.

Seasons Editor: Katelin Mei

Why Can’t you Play Hockey with Pigs?

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By Luke Langlois


Pigs hog the puck. There are only three certainties on thebirdonfire.org: death, taxes, and Luke pestering the audience with hockey posts. When I think of holiday seasons, the one I anticipate the most is the National Hockey League season. Who decided that the NHL’s opening day could be a holiday? I did. “Holiday” is relative, people! We all know what’s going on in the other major sports leagues. The NFL is everywhere; the disappointment of Dodgers fans is loudly heard around the world, and the NBA is always filled with some sort of interpersonal drama. Where’s the buzz for the NHL?! Who should you cheer for? What’s the best bandwagon to hop on? I’ve got it covered. 

The Atlantic Division

  • Boston Bruins – This bumblebee-colored team is often the favorite of those who are looking to get into the sport of hockey because of their consistency. The Bruins find themselves near the top of the food chain every season with no signs of stopping. 
  • Montreal Canadiens – A favorite among the seven million French speakers in Canada, the culturally-rich Canadiens are hands down the most successful franchise in NHL history with twenty-four Stanley Cup championships. 
  • Tampa Bay Lightning – Can you play hockey in Florida? Yes! The Lightning have an all-around depth unrivaled by many in the NHL, and they are looking forward to replicating the overwhelming success of the 2018-2019 regular season in which they went 62-16-4. Don’t ask them about the playoffs (they got swept). 
  • Toronto Maple Leafs – Comparable to the NBA’s Lakers, the Leafs are an uber-popular team even beyond the city of Toronto. Although they haven’t won the Stanley Cup in over fifty years, the passionate “bleed-blue” fanbase makes this franchise one of the few worth more than a billion dollars. 
  • Florida Panthers – The Florida Panthers claim the entire state of Florida, but they are seen as Tampa Bay’s little brother. Their fanbase is small, but they have an exciting core of players, especially with the addition of Russian goalie Sergei Andreyevich Bobrovsky. Become a Panther fan if you want to push against the hockey norm. 
  • Detroit Red Wings – The Red Wings have enough hockey history to last someone a lifetime. The team is in a textbook “rebuild,” so the product on the ice isn’t always pretty. But, with the brand new deliciously named Little Caesar’s Arena, why wouldn’t you want to watch the Red Wings? 
  • Buffalo Sabres – A team known for its long-suffering fanbase, the Buffalo Sabres seem to finally be coming around to greatness. It will be no surprise if the Sabres end up amongst the top of the Atlantic Division, and perhaps even the Eastern Conference.
  • Ottawa Senators – Ottawa is a franchise plagued with controversy and ownership issues. Unless you are an Ottawa faithful, I would not recommend following this team as they cozy up to the bottom of the league.

The Metropolitan Division

  • Columbus Blue Jackets – The Blue Jackets got put into a rough situation following the 2018-2019 season. They had some of the league’s best skaters, but they refused to sign new contracts with Columbus and dispersed around the league. Columbus is a decent team, but they’re missing the star power they need. 
  • Washington Capitals – Another team that seems to be constantly successful, the Capitals are making sure the citizens of the District of Columbia get used to having successful teams. If you’re looking for a whole city of teams to cheer for, D.C isn’t an awful place to start with the Capitals, Nationals, Wizards, Redskins, and Mystics.
  • New Jersey Devils – Somehow, they fit an entire hockey team in the tiny state that is New Jersey. The Devils have some of the most recognizable players in hockey with P.K. Subban, Taylor Hall, and the 2019 first overall draft pick Jack Hughes. Also, they have a slick color palette. 
  •  Philadelphia Flyers – The thing about Philadelphia sports fans is that their love for sports teams comes hand in hand with their love for the city and its people. Flyers fans are LOUD and passionate. They also have a bit of a reputation for throwing objects onto the ice when referees make questionable calls. If that’s your thing, cheer for the Flyers!
  • Carolina Hurricane – Carolina created a buzz last season when they created a unique style to celebrate their wins on home ice. Once, they dunked a basketball on ice. The Hurricane have been under the radar, but they are a great team that embraces the fun side of the sport for their fans. 
  • New York Islanders – Can’t afford tickets in Madison Square Garden? Cheer for the Islanders. It may sound silly, but this hockey team has mastered being a team. On paper, their roster is not that extravagant, yet this team plays like they’ve been playing hockey together for thirty years. 
  • Pittsburgh Penguins – The Flyers are great and all, but the state of Pennsylvania has largely rallied around the recent success of the Penguins. With three Stanley Cups in the past decade (2009, 2016, 2017), the Penguins have certainly made good use of one of the best players in the league, Sidney Crosby. 
  • New York Rangers – The most valuable franchise in the NHL is unsurprisingly located in the heart of New York City. Rangers fans never fail to fill Madison Square Garden, even in the face of a team that has seen better days. It’s New York. 

The Central Division

  • Colorado Avalanche – What do you do after putting up one of the worst seasons in NHL history? Why, you become one of the best teams in the league a couple of years later, of course! The Avalanche have a high-flying offense which invades the nightmares of every goalie. Maybe it’s the altitude. 
  • Chicago Blackhawks – If you surveyed NHL players about which arena they least like to play in, it would be the home of the Blackhawks. Winning three Stanley Cups in six years has given the Blackhawks organization out of this world attendance numbers with crowds well over twenty-thousand at every home game. 
  • St. Louis Blues – The Blues have not been singing the blues recently, given that they just ended their fifty-year drought and are the defending Stanley Cup champions. You can root for Missouri without any misery! 
  • Winnipeg Jets – This Manitoban team prides itself as being the “true north” of the NHL. In the grand hockey scheme, they are a relatively new team and are still looking for life via a Stanley Cup championship, but I reckon that they are on the right track. They have fallen just short of greatness in the past few years.
  • Nashville Predators – A team known for their mix of yeehaw and hockey, the Nashville Predators are uniquely southern with the country tinge they add to home games. They are consistently a strong team, and they have fans that throw dead catfish on the ice. What more could you want? 
  • Dallas Stars – Cowboys, who? Located in the heart of the Lone Star State, the Dallas Stars prance around the league with that Texas swagger with their eye-popping green jerseys. There is nothing quite like hearing the Stars’ hard-rock goal that has the entire state chanting for the “DALLAS STARS” with a guitar riff behind them.
  • Minnesota Wild – Ah, Minnesota, the stereotypical hockey state.  Tucked up in the cold of St. Paul, Wild fans are hopelessly in love with their somewhat mediocre home team. Let me know if you can figure out what their primary logo is supposed to be.

The Pacific Division

  • Vancouver Canucks – Vancouver tends to be one of the most attractive free-agent destinations for a reason. For one, beautiful British Columbia is a great place to be if you’re a young and rich athlete. It’s also important to note that Canucks fans literally tried burning down their city after losing the Stanley Cup in 2011, resulting in about 5.57 million dollars in damages.  
  • Arizona Coyotes – People often question the validity of hockey in the barren desert, but that hasn’t stopped this tenacious group from making Arizona an icebox. If you’ve ever felt the need to howl after your team scores, cheer for the Coyotes. They do that. 
  • Anaheim Ducks – Have you ever heard of The Mighty Ducks? That’s right, the Anaheim Ducks are the only team to have stemmed from a Disney movie. While teams like the Clippers, Angels, and Chargers struggle to find their place in the shadow of a more popular Los Angeles team, the Ducks have found their identity as Orange County’s pride and joy.
  • Calgary Flames – When this team is able to gather its heat, they are good. The Flames haven’t been so red hot lately, but the “C” of red has never been stronger. During Calgary playoff games, Flames’ fans suffocate the seats of the Scotiabank Saddledome with RED. 
  • Vegas Golden Knights – Even though the Knights just came into existence in the 2017-2018 season, they have already dotted the league with the golden glitz and glamor of Las Vegas. In fact, they have never missed the playoffs in their two-year history, and they made the Stanley Cup Finals in their inaugural season. Viva, Las Vegas! 
  • Los Angeles Kings – In 2012 and 2014, the Kings won the Stanley Cup in dominant fashion and showed the city that they meant business. Since 2014, though, the Kings have been unable to find that champion spark and are currently in the process of rebuilding their roster to match the NHL’s new style of play focused on youth and speed. If it were up to me, you’d ALL be Kings’ fans. 
  • Edmonton Oilers – The Oilers have been notoriously mediocre for the last decade, but that doesn’t change Edmonton’s status as the team of “The Great One,” Wayne Gretzky. This season, it seems that the Oilers have finally found their footing as a 21st Century Stanley Cup contender, but only time will tell.
  • San Jose Sharks – The Sharks have been competitive for a very long time. They’ve made deep playoff runs galore, but they haven’t been able to seal the deal. Unfortunately, their core players are old, and it looks like their window of contention has closed. But, that won’t stop the sea of teal that covers the Bay Area. 

If you have made it to the bottom of this post, I APPLAUD you. Seriously. Our desert NEEDS hockey fans. For the unaware, the NHL will be adding an expansion team to Seattle, Washington. Each NHL team has an AHL (American Hockey League) affiliate, where players on the cusp of the NHL go to develop. We are getting that AHL team RIGHT HERE in the desert, and I highly recommend that you learn the sport so that you can take advantage of what is likely to be the greatest entertainment hub in our valley. Plus, we don’t want them to leave us if it’s not working out financially. That is all!

Seasons Editor: Katelin Mei

Songs for the Spooky Season

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By Renee

What is there to say about Halloween….. A time of panicked last minute costumes, consuming copious amounts of sweets, and decorating homes with cheesy props. I love Halloween. I love dressing up and beaming with pride over how good my costume came out. I love tricking myself into believing that treats are not bad because they’re small. I love feeling giddy, waiting in suspense as I watch horror movies. I love Halloween. But, while I’m working on my costume, baking something spooky, or carving pumpkins, I have to listen to some music to get myself into the Halloween spirit! So I thought that y’all might enjoy a good ol’ Halloween playlist for tonight.

1. “31 Days of Halloween” by Nancy Nightmare and the Wizard. 

2. “I Put A Spell On You” by Nina Simone

3. “Land of the Dead” by Voltaire

4. “Somebody’s Watching Me” by Rockwell

5. “Burn the Witch” by Queens of the Stonewell

6. “Thriller” by Michel Jackson

7. “Season of the Witch” cover by Lana Del Rey

8. “She Put a Hex on You” by Them

9. “The Maddest Story Ever Told” by Fantomas

10. “The Night” by Voltaire

Seasonal Holiday Editor: Katelin Slosky