By Peter Kadel, Senior Survival Scout
*Episode 1 in an ongoing series.
As we slowly acclimate to the total system shock of returning to school, I’ve noticed that many students are struggling with many aspects of everyday life here at Palm Valley. So since I enjoy helping others, I’ve put together a handy guide to school, drawing on my four years of experience and expertise for anybody who needs a helping hand to use. While many people will sugarcoat the truth or tell you lies to keep you ignorant and complacent, my guide will contain only factual truths.
The Morning:
One significant change that everyone struggles with when returning to school is adjusting to the change in sleep schedules and having to wake up early while also staying up late to do homework. This change is often a cause of struggle and stress for students. To prevent this stress, I fall asleep as soon as I get home. I strictly enforce a bedtime of 5:00 pm and always, religiously, wake up at exactly 2:00 am. This allows me to have nine blissful hours of sleep. Upon waking up, I proceed to run to the top of the tramway for a bit of fresh air. Now that I have reached the sweet spot of being wide awake after my run and refreshed due to my restful sleeping schedule, I am ready to tackle the assignments that I neglected to do the day before.
The key to effectively finishing your assignments before the start of school is speed; errors don’t matter. High school is supposed to be the best 5 ½ years of your life, but they won’t be if you worry about silly academic stuff. Just get it done as quickly as you can so you can focus on the important task of flirting with people your age and getting tattoos or piercings.
That is how I tackle the mornings. Stay tuned for the next installment to Pete’s Declassified School Survival Guide!
Editor: Brennan Nick





e is the fact that so many people accept the wrong, misguided images of China or Chinese people without thinking or researching. The comic-strip caricature of the evil Fu Manchu, for example, was perpetuated by the media and politicians. I can live with all the racist jokes, but it is the disrespect and unfair judgement to my motherland that hurts me the most.
Jesus Christ, and maybe Sherlock Holmes. So, I opened the book. I was curious to find out who is the most influential person. Muhammad. The book said, “Muhammad.”




some food, we drove to the train tracks. As soon as we dropped the tailgate, hungry villagers appeared out of nowhere. We sliced turkey, dished potatoes, and handed out oranges. At first it was awkward; I had never done anything like this before. I couldn’t understand them; they couldn’t understand me. One by one the Mexican children smiled; I smiled back. Later, I surprised myself by playing football in the desert.
1+1 = 2, my math teacher confirmed, with an indisputable tone, “That’s truth. Just remember it.” I was once scolded by my teacher because my score held back the overall GPA of my class. As we entered upper grades, the academic workload became increasingly heavier and most of our spare time was occupied by being tutored. School was no longer the paradise I had expected, and teachers were not the angels I had hoped. Gradually, I felt like I was becoming a puppet–doing what the teachers expected me to do and believing all that the teachers said without questioning or experimenting. I even put away my interest in drawing to save time for the heavy academic burden. 1+1 must = 2! No room for argument.







(United States Bureau of Labor Statistics)
to China, India, Latin America and most factory work is replaced by machines, the unemployment rate, historically, stays relatively the same.