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The Bird is the Word: Sophisticated Schoolyard Shenanigans

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Chapter 5, page 246-247 of my life: The Levi Manifesto

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By Junior Novelist Levi Kassinove

Years ago, universities asked applicants to role play they’d written a novel of their life and to open up that hypothetical novel to p. 246 and to share it with the admissions committee. I asked the same of the Blog Staff. This is Levi’s p. 246.

Blog Advisor Zachik

This is a chapter from my teenage years.

…with a look of horror painted across their faces. I had realized at that point that anything was possible. Upon asking this utterly ridiculous request, there was a hint in the eyes of my peers that said yes. Yet another obsession had successfully scratched the itch in my brain that would otherwise leave me endlessly bored. Passion only ultimately leaves me hungry for more. 

That is why I am against the advancement of knowledge. 

A million billion years from now, when the last optimization for society has been implemented, when we have understood the last concept, and when we have found a cure for the last disease, only then will we realize that our quality of life hasn’t improved. Are things really any different now? Will they be different then? People want to live longer just so they can live longer. What then when we die? Is there really so much of a difference between living 50, 100, or 1000 years? No matter how much we “improve,” the hedonic treadmill will pull our happiness back to its baseline. 2000 years ago, if someone broke their leg, they would probably die or live pretty uncomfortably for a while, but they would adapt before they die. Nowadays, we get a cast and heal, and, still, we adapt all the same. Humans adapt to their situations as a coping mechanism. There is no such thing as improvement. Only the desire for advancement, which boils down to greed. Understanding the universe is for the sole purpose of understanding the universe. Science is an addiction, perhaps one that has short term and foreseeable benefits, but ultimately it becomes an addiction given enough time. I’d say enough time has passed for us to see that science will eventually lead to our doom.

Note: I didn’t start this in medias res because I’m pretentious; I did it to protect myself–from Indy. Here, I don’t have to reveal everything. At some point, depending on the life you choose, you get so paranoid that you end up destroying all of your work out of fear of not being accepted. And the constant jokes get annoying as well.

Levi Kassinove

People want knowledge because they want power, and people want power because they like having dominion. It is in our blood to strive for control. But, it is unfair. Inherently there are always people being controlled. The people in power believe that they can mold us to do anything. They think they can make us think any way. They think they can make us behave any way. But, we are not characterized by tabula rasa. Freedom is the essence of life. Animals, with their animalistic behavior, have total freedom over what they do. The people who want power think of humanity as beyond animals, and therefore beyond freedom. They think we are too civilized for freedom. We are not above animals. To be humble is to live in harmony. It is to be free. This was my request to my family. 

I wanted to contribute to the global effort to free ourselves from tyranny. I wanted to be Neo from The Matrix. And, that’s exactly what I did. During the birth of my obsession, people obviously got tired of it. They got tired of my inability to talk about something other than this. But, when they started to see results, they started to get interested. They started supporting me. They did not regret their decision to let me essentially…be free. My goal is not to grow so big in my personal effort that I single-handedly change the world. My goal is to plant the seeds, so that others may water them. 

Unpopular Opinion – Biden’s Got It Wrong Over Student Loan Debt

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A Think Piece By Junior Luke Sonderman or Luke Says

I’m going to start off the article by saying that I do not believe that people should have to spend their whole lives paying off student loans with ridiculous amounts of interest. But, is President Biden’s Student Loan Forgiveness program a good solution to the problem? Absolutely not. Let me explain.

Forgiving current student loans may relieve financial stress off of current student debt holders, but there are many negative effects to the plan. 

Permanent Solution?

First of all, forgiving student loans is not a permanent solution. There are still millions of students taking on student loans in the United States every year. Instead of spending 400 billion on student-loan forgiveness, why doesn’t the government find ways to lower the cost of public college or spend the money on building new schools that will be more cost friendly? (forbes.com)

Inflation

In August, inflation was up 8.3% for 2022 (usinflationcalculator.com). The past two years have had record-breaking amounts of inflation in the U.S., especially due to government spending. Biden’s plan to circulate 400 billion more dollars into the US economy through student loan forgiveness will only increase inflation more (cnbc.com). 

Fairness

By awarding loan forgiveness to those who still are burdened by student loan debt, the government is not honoring the Americans who went through the same burdens and struggles, but fully paid off their debt in the past. If forgiveness is given, it should be given across the board to everyone who has had to pay student loans, no matter their circumstance. 

Free Education

At this point if student loan forgiveness is given to all people who carry or have carried student loans, then why not just make public post-secondary education free. Around 2% of taxes go to public schools (afterschoolalliance.org). Wouldn’t it make more sense to increase taxes and make college education free? 

Maybe my mind lives in a little idealistic world far off in wonderland, but Biden’s Forgiveness Plan really just seems like a short-term money spender to make people happy. It isn’t the long-term solution that we need in America.

Beat the Heat

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By Junior Indy Behr

In our quest to keep Firebirds healthy, we at thebirdonfire.org have discussed diet, eye care, and sleep habits. As the hottest months in the desert fade, we still experience 90-degree days. Indy has some tips for keeping cool.

It’s October, so it is measurably cooler. Most mornings now, I walk outside, and I am surprised by the cooler temperatures and the subtle breezes. “Is fall actually here?” I think to myself. But then, by noon, it ends up being 90 degrees. I tend to prefer cooler temperatures because if you’re cold, all you need is a sweater, some mittens, and perhaps some longer socks to get comfortable. However, when it’s hot, it is much harder to beat the heat. There are some ways to avoid overheating, however. Here are a few!

Stay Hydrated

Junior Audrey Guess keeps water close even when testing in English.

As some of you may know, sweating is designed to cool your body. If you are dehydrated, you will not sweat as much, and as a result, you will have trouble cooling down. Drink up. Room temperature or chilled–the objective is to keep water in your body. This is one of the best ways to cool down during excessive heat.

Sunscreen

When we are experiencing extreme heat, we are at a higher risk of sun damage, so sunscreen is a must. The added benefit of applying and reapplying spray sunscreens is a short-term cooling effect that is very nice when it’s very hot out.

Spend Your Mornings Outdoors

Though the afternoons are still very hot, the mornings have started to become mild and pleasant. As a result of this, I have been trying to spend more time outdoors in the morning to take advantage of these few hours of cooler temperatures. It has been hovering around the mid 70s in the mornings lately, and this is pretty much the only time to catch good temperatures while the sun is up. I already am somewhat of a morning person, so this is personally my favorite pick for beating the heat. This is definitely my favorite time to enjoy a cup of coffee in my backyard before heading to school.

So, now you know a few ways to stay cool in the afternoon until fall really kicks in. Stay hydrated; wear sunscreen; and take a walk in the morning while we’re still in these last few weeks of heat!

Eating Healthy

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In answering “How to Live a Healthy Life,” thebirdonfire.org staffers offer a few health hacks. Penny suggests we (sadly) put down the sour-cream-and-onion chips and pick up an apple or two.

By Penny Andreas, 7th grader

Fries, burgers, pizza, ice cream–these foods are so delicious, but there is one bad side to them….They are terrible for your health. Though they are tasty and hard to resist, it’s important to know what happens when you eat unhealthy foods. 

Healthy Diets

To be healthy, you don’t need to be skin-and-bone thin or be on a Keto diet. It just means getting the right nutrients for your body. Since bodies are constantly working, it really is important that you pay attention to what you eat. Harmful foods that have high sodium can give you intense headaches, migraines, acne, and more. Instead of eating junk all day, think of eating two or three servings of “growing food.” Growing food is literally things that have nutrients you need to survive–such as vitamins and minerals. 

Why is it Important to Eat Well?

Eating healthy is important because certain foods make natural “shields” to other diseases like cancer, heart disease, and diabetes. Eating well also provides a good boost to life. Technically, you can live longer when healthy, and you also can be more active. Not only does eating healthy make you feel good physically, it also makes you feel good mentally. Your brain naturally releases happy hormones, but it can be quickly altered by junkie foods. 

Things to Eat

When I get home from school, most of the time I’m very hungry, and I reach for the chips and candy. Thanks to my mom, I know now that there are much better options to eat. For example, nuts and granola are way more nutritious than the good ol’ sour-cream-and-onion chips. For breakfast, yogurt, granola, and fruit are delicious AND nutritious. When you’re eating a sandwich for lunch, a good side is some fruit and popcorn. Popcorn is actually good for you, just minus the extra butter, salt, and additional candy. 

healthline.com

As you can see, eating healthy is a natural requirement of life, and it is important to watch what goes in your body. This doesn’t mean you have to be vegan or what not; it just means don’t eat junk food your whole life. An apple a day, really does keep the doctor away. 

If I Got Sucked into a Time Portal and Went to the Middle Ages

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When asked to illuminate a historical period, Levi opted to time travel back to the Middle Ages. His reasons are less . . . humanitarian in nature.

Blog Advisor Zachik

By Levi Kassinove

Some people want to go back in time to kill Hitler, others to their favorite time in history, but I think that the Middle Ages is the best time period to go to. Imagine how fun it’d be to mess with people who don’t know science. I would, however, need to take careful steps to avoid getting burned at the stake. 

Part 1: Bringing my Phone

There are many things to do with a phone in the Middle Ages, as long as it’s not directly shown to the people. If someone sees me on my phone, they will think that I can create moving pictures, and therefore burn me at the stake for witchcraft. The best thing that I can do is play ghost sounds and hide the phone underneath some hay or in my pocket as I walk through the streets at night. I could also trick them into thinking I’m an absolute genius by being omniscient, such as knowing when an eclipse would happen and being able to predict when some person of interest would get assassinated. Google is my friend during the Middle Ages. I will be a god. 

Note: I will bring a bag of portable chargers, and, since I have time travel technology, I will use an Einstein-Cell-Service-Time-Bridge that gives my phone wifi in the Middle Ages. 

guiaviajesvirtual.com

Part 2: Immortality

In my rampage of destroying all medieval logic (and modern logic), I will also cease to be affected by the common causes of illness. Water will not give me dysentery because I will boil it, nor will I do anything stupid like eat mercury or whatever they were doing back then. Certainly I would inspect the bread, as it could be infected with ergot, a fungus that can kill you and cause nightmarish hallucinations. I will also protect myself against wound infections by using high-alcohol beverages as antibiotics. I will outlive my peers and therefore be hailed as the immortal genius god emperor. I will need to feign illnesses so as to not raise suspicion, which I will do by coughing occasionally and talking about how bad my diarrhea was last night. 

Part 3: Inevitably Getting Burned at the Stake

Not only will I talk completely differently than everyone, but I will also behave much differently. One slip of “dude” and I’m on fire. Plus, I will probably forget to wash my noble’s sheep, which will result in a brutal execution (bustle.com).

Please help. (That’s me.)

allthatsinteresting.com

When is a Dictionary Not Just a Dictionary?

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. . . when Harliana Otto composes . . .

A Poem of Observation: “What was once there”

A dictionary rests on the table in front of me

Worn out by its years of life

The pages slowly growing yellow

As it waits for its final breathe

It is wrapped in the primary colors

Red, yellow, blue

Once vibrant colors now slowly fading

On a cover that cannot lie flat

The book lies on the table 

It is not moving nor looking to be

Its spine that’s creased beyond repair

Its edges starting to wear down

On its side lie the words of its previous owner

A green scribble barely visible,

I’ll never meet this person who belongs to this name

But though fading away it forever stains the pages

But it is gone now

It doesn’t rest on the table in front of me anymore

Palm Valley’s Embarrassing Stories

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By Ani Madanyan

Have you ever told a joke and nobody laughed? Or been waved at and thought it was towards you, but it was for the person behind you? Embarrassment–I hate it. Let’s ask people what their most embarrassing stories are because as much as I hate it, they sure are funny.

As our first story-teller, we have Lilah Nick:

“In 5th grade, I was in a tap dance for a dance performance called Hot Chocolate. In the beginning of the dance we had to stand in one big line facing the audience, and I was in the front. This meant that I had to lead everyone out when we were placed on stage. On the first performance of it, I started walking out and told the girl behind me to follow, and she said, ‘Okay’ and started to follow behind me, and then she stopped before leaving the wings, and I didn’t realize. So, I was the only person standing on stage, and I turned around and saw no one there, and the whole audience started laughing, and I was so mad and embarrassed.”

Lilah Nick, Sophomore

Lilah decided to share two, so here’s the next one:

“In mock trial, I was super unprepared and was writing my cross examination questions right before the trial. It ended up going super well, and I was excited to do my closing because I thought it was super good. Once the defense finished, the judge asked, “Prosecution, are you ready for your rebuttal?” and I wanted to die right then. I had NO IDEA there was a rebuttal, and I was just sitting there wide eyed and so scared. I was so close to just saying, ‘Our other attorney will be giving that’ and throw Luke under the bus. I ended up doing it, but I messed up so much. It was just so bad, but I still got MVP for that round.” 

Lilah

Next up, Sienna Price: 

“When we were on holiday in Italy, like always my dad thinks he knows the directions to everywhere. So we were driving down the street and turned down this smaller alley, not knowing it was market day! Streets in Italy are small anyway, and with market stalls on either side of the road, it does not leave much road to drive. All the Italian market sellers started shouting and waving their hands at the car as my dad knocked down a few market stalls! It was one of the most embarrassing days in my life.”

Sienna Price, 8th Grade

Next Up Abby Assefa:

“Last year CSF held the Valentine’s Day Vignette, so my friends and I decided to do a little karaoke moment. We decided to perform L.O.V.E. song while spelling out love with our bodies. When we performed the song, we literally spelt love backwards and no one knew the words to the song. Right after we were done, a student that was in our group coughed into the microphone without wearing a mask. It was definitely a moment.”

Abby Assefa, Freshman

Do you have some fun embarrassing stories? Leave yours in the comments. I would love to see them!

Let’s Celebrate Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month

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By Alyna Rei

In the month of May, we celebrate Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month. 

Asian/Pacific American Heritage Month, like most memorial months, began in Congress. House Joint Resolution 540, proposed by Rep. Frank Horton of New York in 1977, declared the first ten days of May as Pacific/Asian American Heritage Week (asianpacificheritage.gov). Senator Daniel Inouye presented Senate Joint Measure 72, a similar resolution, the same year (asianpacificheritage.gov). Because neither of these resolutions passed, Rep. Horton sponsored House Joint Resolution 1007 in June 1978 to “proclaim a week” during the first ten days in May as “Asian/Pacific American Heritage Week” (asianpacificheritage.gov). On October 5, President Jimmy Carter signed this joint resolution (asianpacificheritage.gov).

Presidents issued annual proclamations honoring Asian/Pacific American Heritage Week over the next decade, until Congress approved Public Law in 1990, extending the celebration to a month. It was President George H.W. Bush who signed the bill extending Asian American Heritage Week to a month (apsva.us). Then, in 1992, Congress established a law designating May as Asian/Pacific American Heritage Month each year.

The month of May is designated as Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month to honor the contributions and influence of Asian Americans and Pacific Islander Americans to the history, culture, and achievements of the United States.

There are many activities that you can do to celebrate this special month. But here are three of my favorites to do with a group of people or even by yourself (verywellfamily.com).

Book Clubs–Learning about Asian culture is best when you read from Asian authors. A few favorites are Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan, The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan, If I Had Your Face by Frances Cha, and way more.

Interactive maps--Interactive maps are a great icebreaker activity. The National Park Service hosts interactive opportunities to visit the “stories of ordinary and extraordinary Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders preserved in our nation’s parks, memorials, and historic sites” (nps.gov). And, teambuilders.com offers activities that highlight the different countries in the Asia-Pacific region and the ties we have to them.

Watching a movie–This one can be great for any family and for the people that want to learn about Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders. If you log onto your streaming sites, you’ll see several Asian-American/Pacific Islander movies and series recommended. Movies that I like are mostly Disney movies. These would include Turning Red, Mulan, Lilo and Stitch, Raya and The Last Dragon, and the short Bao.

ERBs–What do students and teachers think about them?

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By Oliver Martinez, Middle-School Correspondent

We just finished with the ERBs.  ERBs (Educational Records Bureau) was founded in 1927 (erblearn.org ).   They are  tests whose purpose is to check a student’s academic performance, grades three to eight are tested. The categories in this test are: mathematics, verbal reasoning, listening, word analysis, quantitative reasoning, writing mechanics, reading comprehension, and more. ERBs were gone for two years at PVS due to Covid, but they are now back. Thankfully (from a middle-school perspective), these tests are not graded and won’t go into Report Cards, but they do go into students’ permanent Cumulative Folders.

Now, let’s see what people think about the ERBs:

“I think all standardized tests are pointless.”

Mr. Hesson, Math Teacher

“ERBs are bad; they should just get good.”

Tal Maruvada, 8th Grade

“ERBs are dumb.”

Emerson Price, 8th Grade

“I don’t like ERBs.”

Chloe Elbaz, 8th Grade

“ERB’s are just time consuming, and they’re pointless,”

Sherwin Hemmati, 8th Grade

“They suck, but at least they don’t affect my grades.”

Kayliee Augustine-Sails, 8th Grade

“I don’t like them; they are stressful”

Gabie Rodriguez-Portugues, 8th Grade

Wow, there’s not a lot of popularity with the ERBs. Now, let’s look at a positive response.

“I’m jealous that I didn’t get to take them.”

Ms. McKee, Math Teacher

I think that it’s safe to say that the majority of the school doesn’t enjoy ERBs. Personally, I think ERBs are dreadful and useless, but some people may think differently. Leave your opinion on ERBs in the comments.