the bird on fire

The Palm Valley School Student Blog

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i hate myself

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By Leo Milmet

 

i hate myself.

i love Her.

Her beautiful sunshine hair.

Her angelic personality.

that beautiful laugh that tells its lucky viewers so much.  

my Sunshine. my Angel. i wish i could be Hers, too.

but do i love Her?

or am i simply craving love for myself,

knowing in my deep, dark heart that i do not love myself,

but that i hate myself.

my silly inferiority complex, always getting in the way of being good.

so forget all that.

I love myself.

“Why am I inferior,” I ask myself?

“No reason at all,” I answer.

I need that love. I have enough hate in my life already,

especially from her.

 

Editor: Bella Bier

1st-Place Winner, 2018 PVS Poetry Competition

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The English Department, Publications Club, and Blog Class sponsored the second annual Poetry Competition in the Middle and Upper Schools. Poems went to Dr. Carr, fearless organizer and underwriter of prizes. She passed them on to Round #1 judges, a gallery of Humanities teachers, who culled the nearly 60 poetic entries down to 12. Then, those 12 finalists went to final judge Mr. Sarkis who decided upon a 1st place, 2nd, 3rd, and Honorable Mention. Reprinted here is the winning poem, “Legacy,” penned by senior Peter Kadel. Note: all 12 finalists can be seen on the bulletin board in the Upper School Lobby.

Legacy

By Peter Kadel

 

Keep the campfire burning

Keep the campfire burning my friends; shelter this light that I have left for you.

My time with you is coming to an end, but I can still teach you a lesson before I leave.

Keep the campfire burning so I can remember where I come from as I make my way down the unmarked trail.

Gather round the fire and sing the songs I’ve taught you, but sing some new songs, too.

Tend to the fire as I have, but when the time comes, strike out on your own path as I am.

I’ll take a torch with me as I go up the mountain; I’ll use it to light the next campfire.

Watch the ridge above for the light I’ll leave behind; my fingerprints dancing across the mountain,

my legacy flickering in the night as I forge ahead into the inky darkness.

I have to walk this path alone, but solitude doesn’t suit me.

So promise you’ll visit. And I’ll do the same.

Winners compiled by Editor Shelby Armor

Everything Sucks: Reflecting the Unfortunate Reality of LGBT+ Representation

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By Shelby Armor

Everything Sucks is an eight-episode TV show that hit Netflix on February 16, 2018. Now, first things first, I have to state how much I adore this show. It is set in the 1990’s, and beautifully mixes 90’s culture with teen angst. The show itself has a sort of otherworldly vibe, as part of the main plot actually focuses on an alien/space romance adventure. The show follows Boring High freshman Luke (Jahi Winston), who is trying to navigate the ups and downs of high school, while also dealing with having a crush on the principal’s daughter, Kate. Kate (Peyton Kennedy) is grappling with her own problems. She is coming to terms with her sexuality in a less than accepting environment.

Just a few weeks ago, Netflix cancelled the show. However upsetting it was, it was not surprising. One of the main points of the entire show was Kate finding out that she is a lesbian, and unlike much representation in TV shows, it was done correctly. When encountering lesbian characters, there are many tropes that almost every single character falls into. The lesbian will either be killed (the “kill-the-lesbian trope”), pushed to the sideline and never given an important role, or given a sad ending. But Everything Sucks didn’t do that. They didn’t ignore the situation. In fact, they decided to put Kate at the forefront of the show. They didn’t see the need to get rid of her character, and they gave her a lovely and healthy relationship that didn’t end poorly.

But, the unfortunate reality we’re facing is that this exact plotline is the reason that the show didn’t survive. Everything Sucks found appeal with LGBT+ audiences but was unable to gain mass appeal. We’re in a world where people are pushing for greater LGBT+ representation in film and TV. But, the reality is that a queer character is only helpful if they’re on the sideline. Shows like Supergirl have a lesbian character as a supporting character, which directly helped their ratings. They keep the character present enough so they’re there but don’t really make them overly prominent. When faced with a show that puts an LGBT+ character at the forefront, mass appeal is quickly lost, which is exactly what happened with Everything Sucks. Kate was crucial to the overall plot of the show, and her accepting herself and finding out about her sexuality was seen as amazing for LGBT+ audiences, but, again, it leads to the loss of mass appeal.

Everything Sucks is an amazing show that deserves loads of praise. However, LGBT+ representation ultimately brought them down. They are not the only show to encounter this fate, as the Netflix Original Gypsy was cancelled, which had two women in a relationship at the forefront of the show.  So, while LGBT+ representation in TV is making a rise, sadly, shows are still unable to sustain themselves with an LGBT+ character in a leading role.

Editor: AJ Patencio

Anoxic

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By Yul B. Allwright

 

Sleep.

I want to

sleep.

I’m so

tired.

I’m tired of hearing

about other people’s

demons.

And I’m tired of hearing

from my

own.

I’m tired of

anxiety and

depression.

I’m tired of being

afraid.

Afraid of people

and their

judgement.

I want a rest.

A break

from the world

and the sorrow

and

other people

killing

one another.

I’m tired of seeing

the cruelty of this world.

I’m so tired,

and it pains me–

the knowledge that

I will never rest.

Editor: A.J. Patencio

A List of Calming Songs

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By Claire Jenkins

Have you ever been in a mood that isn’t happy but isn’t sad and you can’t find the proper playlist to match your mellow mood? There are a lot of amazing artists out there with perfect mellow music that you may have never heard of. There are plenty of bands and artists out there with songs you could possibly enjoy. Below is a list of songs by less mainstream artists that fit the calming category perfectly.

 

Morning Breeze – Juke Ross

River – Leon Bridges

Alps – Novo Amor

Youth – Haux

Colouring – Kevin Garrett

Settle Down – Ziggy Alberts

I’ll Be Good – Jaymes Young

Saturn – Sleeping At Last

Bones – Dotan

Breathe – Luke Cusato

New Recording 135 – LEO

Berlin – RY X

It’s Alright – Fractures

The Story Never Ends – Lauv

You There – Aquilo

Anchor – Novo Amor

 

Did these songs fit your mood? Which was your favorite? Leave your answer in the comments below!

 

Editor: AJ Patencio

Performing a Tarot Reading With Common Cards

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Graphic by Harlow Berny

By Harlow Berny

Hello, fellow Palm Valley Students! In my last post, I briefly mentioned divination, which is the art of gaining knowledge of the future or the unknown through supernatural means. A common form of divination is tarot reading, which is done by using cards with a predetermined meaning to answer questions posed by the “reader” who is performing the “reading.” While it’s mainly tarot cards that are used for a “reading,” common playing cards can be used instead.

In a tarot reading, you have to interpret the cards for what they mean and represent. Usually there would be pictures on the tarot cards to help you with this, but since you’re using regular playing cards, you’ll need to understand what each individual card means. Luckily, Exemplore has made a simple list with the meaning of each individual card.*

For example, the Two of Spades means “failure to communicate”; the Jack of Clubs means “unreliable, hot-headed, risk-taker, athletic”; the Queen of Hearts means “emotional, dependent, and empathic.”

When it comes to the actual “reading,” things get pretty simple. You’ll need to shuffle your deck with three questions in mind (the most common three regarding the past, present, and future). If you’re not good at shuffling, you can split the deck into three stacks, rearrange them, then merge them again. Once done shuffling, you’ll need to put three cards from the top into a horizontal row without flipping them over. When you’re ready, flip the cards over from left to right. After you interpret the meaning of the cards, take some deep breaths and reshuffle the cards as you clear your mind. Congrats, you’ve finished the tarot reading! If you want a more in-depth explanation, then you can consult the Golden Thread Tarot**.

 

Editor: Leo Milmet

*https://exemplore.com/fortune-divination/How-to-Read-Tarot-with-Playing-Cards

**http://goldenthreadtarot.com/how-to-read-tarot-cards.html

Prom!

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By Shelby Armor

The end of the year is fast approaching, which means so is Prom! This year our Prom is being held at the Palm Springs Air Museum with the theme of “Fly Me To The Moon.” We’ll be spending the evening among the stars in the sky, as Prom will be surrounded by airplanes! There will be dancing, desserts, a photo booth, a chocolate fountain, and more! May 26th is the date, and ASB will be selling tickets in the courtyard the second and third weeks of May ($55 for a single, $90 for a couple), so start getting excited for an unforgettable night!!

Editor: Leo Milmet

Nora

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By Renée

 

Everyday is one you will never get back.

Dwell on that for a second.

You will NEVER get any days back.

I don’t mean to make you depressed;

all I mean to do is make you realize your opportunities.  

Just appreciate what you have, what you can do, what you can experience, what you can feel.

Instead of wishing away our time;

appreciate touch,

sight,

smell,

taste.

No matter your opinion on it,

acknowledge everything around you.

People.

Nature.

Poetry.

The world.

Appreciate the passage of time.

You will never get it back.

One day you will be gone.

Instead of wasting your time

in dread of it passing,

live.

 

Editor: AJ Patencio

This Faded Picture

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By Shelby Armor

 

This faded picture is all I have left of my childhood,

the simple days of playing outside and enjoying the company of friends.

 

No longer do I look at the world with gleaming eyes,

instead my eyes are faint outlines of what I used to be–

 

Smudged fingerprints on childhood paintings

and once radiant bundles of energy reduced to this,

 

Reduced to working in a dim office and

depending on coffee for the energy I once had.

 

I’m no longer who I used to be,

but I never noticed those years slipping away from me.

 

Editor: Bella Bier

An Obsession

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By Olive Yew (I love you)

 

We,

as humans,

become obsessed.

We obsess over

the things we love,

and sometimes,

the things we hate.

In our obsessions,

we fail to notice

the people

who obsess

over us.

So,

I just want you to

know

that I am obsessed.

With you.

But.

You are obsessed

with

someone

else.

Editor: Leo Milmet