the bird on fire

Controversial Sports Opinions Likely to Get Me Into a Fight

October 19, 2023 by szachik@pvs.org Leave a Comment

Blog staffers are exploring “Controversial/Unpopular Opinions.” They ask “What’s Your Hill to Die On?” They argue for Joe Biden grabbing that second term. They admit to liking Dr. Pepper. Oliver has some hard-and-fast opinions on sports. Oliver loves sports. Oliver knows sports. And, here, he’s not afraid to share his (unpopular?) opinion on some famous sports figures and sports events.

By Sophomore Oliver Martinez

I’ve watched sports since I was a little kid. I generally enjoy watching; however, there are certain ideas or opinions that I just don’t agree with. So, here, I’ve compiled a brief list of my opinions on sports most likely to get me into a fight. For now, I’m talking about basketball and football/soccer.

LeBron is better than MJ

Okay, so there are many reasons as to why I believe LeBron James is better than Michael Jordan.

First reason, LeBron led an awful, losing Cavaliers team to the finals in his first years at the Cavaliers. Michael Jordan did none of that until he got his Bulls super team in 1991 with the likes of Scottie Pippen and Horace Grant. When LeBron made his first finals, who was the best player next to him? Drew Gooden? Not to mention LeBron was playing one of the best San Antonio teams ever assembled with Tim Duncan, Tony Parker, and Manu Ginobili. Also, let’s not forget that Michael Jordan got even more amazing players added to his team. In 1996, he came back to the best team ever assembled with the likes of Scottie Pippen, Dennis Rodman, Steve Kerr, Toni Kukoc, Ron Harper-–the list goes on. No kidding: he was going to win a championship. With a team like that, not winning a championship would be embarrassing. The point is, LeBron made more finals playing for a bad team while playing against amazing teams. MJ needed a super team to succeed.

Reason 2: On top of the championship’s success, LeBron has surpassed MJ in just about every category. He has 6,000 more points than MJ (NBA.com). LeBron has double the amount of assists. LeBron has more rebounds and more blocks as well. Point is, he’s better at almost everything.

Reason 3: One more interesting thing I want to mention is that when LeBron was drafted by the Cavaliers, the Cavs hadn’t made the playoffs for four years. LeBron sent them to the finals in just four years. A couple years later he proceeded to make it all the way to the NBA Finals eight times in a row, from 2011-2018. LeBron joined the Lakers in 2019. At the time, the Lakers hadn’t even made the playoffs for six years and were last place in their conference. However, after just two years of LeBron being with the Lakers, they won a championship. LeBron is simply the better player. I’m not taking any credit away from MJ; he was a fantastic player and is easily in the top three of all time, but he required a super team to gain success, and LeBron proved he didn’t. Championship success isn’t everything there is to basketball, and flashy scoring doesn’t make you a better overall player.

LeBron and Curry could’ve been the best NBA rivalry IF it hadn’t been for Durant

I was just thinking about this the other day, and it makes so much sense. From 2015 and on, Curry and LeBron were at their peak, and watching them play was magical. They made the finals and the games so exciting. These were close, hard-fought games. LeBron had just returned to the Cavs and was giving it his all to get the Cavs their first chip. Curry and LeBron met in the finals in 2015. It ended with Golden State and Steph Curry winning the series 4-2, but it was close and an exciting matchup. In 2016, it was even better, the Warriors held a 3-1 lead over LeBron’s Cavs, making it almost impossible for the Cavs to come back, but they miraculously did. In fact, they came back to win their first-ever championship. These years were some of the best in the NBA. But, in 2017, everything was ruined. The Warriors went on a huge signing spree. Their most remarkable signings were Andre Iguodala, JaVale McGee, Shaun Livingston, and, the worst of all, Kevin Durant. This automatically not only made them the absolute best team in the NBA but possibly the best team ever. After that, there was virtually no hope for the LeBron-Curry rivalry to continue. Both their teams made the finals again twice, but the Cavs were literally shredded. Hence, ended the legendary rivalry between LeBron and Curry. Thankfully, Draymond Green had a fight with KD and this marked the date that KD left the Warriors – ending the Warriors’ absolute dominance of the league.

Oliver has a *few* basketball jerseys at home. Pictured are just his favorites.

. . . moving now to Soccer/Football . . .

The 2022 FIFA World Cup was rigged

Yup, you read that right. The 2022 FIFA World Cup was rigged! Here is my reasoning:

Reason 1: I will start off simple. Argentina won with five penalties to their favor. Argentina scored off most of these penalty kicks (fourfourtwo.com). Five penalties doesn’t sound like that much, until you realize that teams that make it to the finals play a total of seven games. There were more games where Argentina’s opponents were penalized than games that were penalty free. We haven’t seen this many penalties in finals since 1966 and 1978.

Second reason why the FIFA 2022 World Cup was Rigged: Who was the referee in the final? According to FIFA, the referee for the final is picked at random from all eligible referees in the World Cup. But, FIFA picked Polish referee Szymon Marciniak to referee the final…. This was a potential conflict of interest. Why? Because who eliminated Poland? France. And it was France who was playing Argentina in the Final. Think about it? Who was hating on France . . . ?

Reason three: FIFA needs money. As much as I hate to admit it, I believe FIFA is corrupt. This was evident from the moment FIFA picked Qatar to be World Cup hosts. Countries put bids in to be hosts. Wrote The New York Times of Qatar as host: “The United States Department of Justice on Monday said for the first time that representatives working for Russia and Qatar had bribed FIFA officials to secure hosting rights for the World Cup in men’s soccer” (nytimes.com). My theory? FIFA rigged the World Cup final to be Argentina vs any other team because FIFA knew that Argentina was the team that would generate tons of money. Just imagine, if the final had been Croatia vs Netherlands – virtually no one would have watched it, but since the Final included Argentina and Lionel Messi, it was the best way FIFA could get millions, maybe even billions of people to watch it.

My fourth and last reason as to why the 2022 World Cup was rigged is that FIFA needed to complete and pad the world-famous Messi trophy cabinet–which leads me to my next controversial opinion.

Messi is not the best player of all time

Sure, Messi is a good player. However, he is not the best. Here are some reasons as to why there are better players.

Reason 1: Messi joined Barcelona in 2004. There is proof of Barcelona paying the refs from 2001 all the way until 2018. According to Fox Sports, FC Barcelona paid a total of 7.3 million euros in the span of 18 years to José María Enríquez Negreira, who was vice president of the refereeing committee in Spain at the time. I would conclude that most of the trophies won in those years are rubber trophies (foxsports.com).

Reason 2: I think that another reason people really say that Messi is the best of all time is because they hear others say that, and also because the 2022 FIFA World Cup is the most watched ever as it has been the most televised. I believe that since this was the most accessible World Cup, most people who haven’t watched before just naturally assume that the winners are the best and that their best player is the best, which seems natural to think but isn’t necessarily true.

Reason 3: With the popularization of Soccer/Football in the U.S., Americans (for the most part), are just going with the flow (which is fine and understandable), but had they done a little digging, they would realize there are players who have done so much more for the game – like Pelé, or Maradona or even Zidane. Pelé won three World Cups, the only player to ever do so. According to the Guinness Book of World Records, Pelé has the most goals ever with 1,279. Pelé scored hundreds more than even Ronaldo or Messi. He never had to play in Europe to prove he was the best. He played in friendlies against the top teams in the world back then and won. He was an elite goalscorer from anywhere in the field. And he did this back in the 50s, the 60s, and the 70s. Just imagine what he could have done if he had the technology of today.

Truth be told, I know no one will change their opinions because I wrote an article about my controversial takes on sports. But, if you want to contribute your controversial takes on sports, feel free to do so in the comments.

The Forbidden Foods of Louisa Richardson

October 4, 2023 by szachik@pvs.org 1 Comment

Blogger Gil challenged us to write about forbidden things. Oliver coached us to avoid forbidden relationship faux pas. Gil will be our tour guide through forbidden places. Indy is a master of the forbidden. Louisa . . . contemplates forbidden foods–foods that look enticingly tasty but aren’t actually foods at all. Never fear: No high schooler was harmed in the making of this post. Nobody got eaten, and Louisa is just fine. For now.

By Freshman Louisa Richardson

Have you ever looked at something completely inedible and thought to yourself, “I would totally eat that.” Even if they aren’t edible things, that will not stop my brain from thinking “oh tasty!” Recently on a trip to the grocery store, I saw some strawberry syrup (aka Palmolive pink dish soap) and told my mom that I would eat it. My mother looked at me with surprise and disgust. Silly, Mommy, it just seems so delicious. Since Gil told us to consider “The Forbidden,” I thought it would be fun to go through a list of things I would like to eat that are definitely not edible. I did find the further into the list we go, the more disturbing the “food” items get.

Fiberglass Insulation

Take a good long look at fiberglass insulation and tell me you don’t want to dive in there and start munching. As someone who has touched this glass-flavored cotton candy, I will tell you, it appears crunchy. I imagine it makes that delightful crunching noise that gives it perfect texture. 10/10 I will eat this.

Dish Soap

This strawberry–flavored creamy deliciousness happens to be dish soap. I won’t let that stop me. If you were to squeeze some out of the bottle, you can’t tell me it doesn’t look like the syrup they would use in a waffle commercial. I can practically hear the salesman saying, “New at Waffle House, Strawberry Waffle Syrup perfect for your waffles!” Is your mouth watering yet?

Falling-Water Thinking-Putty

Silly Putty is one of those things with me. I wouldn’t eat it, but I would definitely think about it. I would probably eat it if it smelled better. I feel like the taste would be too chemically. For those of you who are thinking, “They make candy-smelling slime,” slime and putty are two very different things. I need a food-scented Silly Putty; then I would eat it. No questions asked.

Stretchy Slap Sticky Toy Hands

I think I actually did eat one of these party favors as a child. I used to get them at the dentist, and it was the greatest feeling to slap my sister with them. My sister hated it. I would absolutely eat these, any flavor: grape, lemon, cherry, and blue raspberry, the gummy texture, the stretch, the perfect bite. I imagine getting a whole pack of these, and eating them like that candy fruit roll up. Absolutely delicious.

Mod Podge

“The perfect dipping sauce for children’s fingers.” — Freshman Brooklyn Hatrak

This particular inedible decoupage snack doesn’t actually seem tasty. It’s just the way that the word podge sounds. I would never eat glue, but I would eat podge. Don’t ask me what the difference is because I don’t know; I just want to eat it.

Spackle

Photo Source: motherdaughterprojects.com.

Any flavor of spackling looks delicious. Can you imagine what would happen if I just made a spackling cake? You would eat it, wouldn’t you? Although a spackle cake technically exists already, I don’t think it’s really made out of spackle. I can change that. Mom, if you’re reading this, all I want for my birthday is a spackle cake.

Drilling Mud

This is chocolate, and you can’t tell me otherwise. Now the technical term is “drilling mud,” but it looks like dark chocolate pudding. Although drilling mud comes out of a very disgusting tube, I would probably eat it if someone served it to me in a pudding cup.

Molten Lava

Lava is a sea of literal goodness. Sure, it would burn my mouth, but if you’ve seen the videos online of people dropping the lava slowly but surely into a cup of water, you would know just how appetizing it appears. The color, texture, and dripping capabilities make this tasty snack all the more delightful.

Snow on a Tree

Now you might call me a picky eater for this one, but I would never ever eat a tree that doesn’t have snow on it–a light powdery snow. With snow as condiment, I would eat a tree. I would probably start with the little twigs, coated in a delicious white frosting. I think this craving comes from my urge to live in a gingerbread house. I imagine that my cravings for wood will never be satisfied, at least not until gingerbread season.

Adorable Pomeranian (aka Walking Cotton Candy)

I wouldn’t really eat a dog, just his fur. Pomeranians are so cute and cuddly, and their fur is so fluffy. Their fur would make that nice little crunchy sound, like cotton candy and insulation. I bet these dogs would be really ugly without fur; as a matter of fact, google it. I guarantee they are ugly without fur.

Animated Children

“I hear Hillary Clinton eats children.” — [a facetious] Senior Indiana Behr

Well, if Hillary does it, why can’t I? To be fair, I don’t necessarily want to eat a child. That’s creepy. It’s more that I want to eat those little pictures of children, as shown above. If I did eat a child, it would be one of these little animated ones. The images of children I would eat seem like they would be the texture of gummy bears, with a citrusy flavor. Again I WOULD NOT EAT A LITERAL CHILD, just the tiny little animated ones.

Remember readers, these foods are not edible (mostly because they’re NOT foods–especially children and dog fur), so, please, don’t eat them. Yeah, forbidden-food-that’s-not-food seems really tasty to me–whether it’s silly putty, or children. My friend Gil (fellow blogger) said, “I imagine that life is very difficult for someone who wants to go around eating everything,” and I can confidently say, Yes, yes it is.

*Note: No children, dogs, or spackle were harmed in the writing of this post.

How to Survive Disneyland

September 26, 2023 by szachik@pvs.org 3 Comments

As we explore How To Be in Healthy Relationships–with our dogs, with our significant others, Indy delves into his relationship with . . . Disneyland.

By Senior Indiana Behr

Two weeks ago, I went to Disneyland Resort in Anaheim, California, and I realized I just had to write an article about it. I have tips like how to not spend half your day in line, where to eat, how to save money, and which are the best rides.

Keep this in mind when reading: Disneyland Resort has two parks, Disneyland Park and California Adventure. You need separate tickets to access them, or you can pay extra and get Park Hopper tickets–where from 11:00 a.m. until close you can switch parks as much as you wish. When I say Disneyland, I am referring to the entire resort including both parks, hotels, etc. When I say Disneyland Park, that just means one of the two parks within the resort.

Preparation

There are a few things that you should do before you even start driving to Disneyland. (It’s a two-hour drive from the desert.) Firstly, try to make a plan as early as possible. If you buy tickets at the last minute, it can be more expensive, and you will also have fewer options. Some parks will sell out, or they won’t let you buy a Park Hopper ticket. If you are a California resident, you can usually get a two-day pass for only $83 per person per day (Note: you cannot get a Park Hopper ticket with this).

There’s one thing you should always get if it’s available, and even last minute; it sells out almost never–Get Genie+ Service. It is $25 per person each day, and it applies to both parks if you have a Park Hopper ticket. At several times throughout the day, you will be able to buy a pass to get in separate shorter lines. If you’re strategic, it’s totally worth it, and you can double the amount of good rides every day.

Planning to go for several days? Then you’ll have to think about hotels. Hotels are much harder and way more expensive to get last minute than park entrance tickets. If you start looking weeks in advance, you will most likely be able to pick any of the three Disneyland resort hotels. If you’re not staying in the resort, there is a list of 58 hotels that are approved by Disney to be of good quality. These hotels are not overpriced, and they are all near the resort–either within walking or bus distance. You can check the list of recommended hotels here. Also, there is a 24-hour IHOP, a McDonald’s, and a Panera immediately outside Disneyland near the off-resort hotels. Keep these in mind if you do not want to spend lots of money to get the often mediocre food inside the parks.

There are three hotels in Disneyland, and all are within a five-minute walk to both parks. One of them is much fancier than the others, yet the others are still very nice, and generally better than those outside the resort.

Let’s talk about the Disneyland Hotel. The first Disney hotel in the world, and the only one Walt Disney was involved with, it opened just a few months after Disneyland did in 1955. Technically, the hotel expanded a lot over time as demand increased, and eventually some of the original hotel was demolished, and now, none of the original hotel is still there. This hotel is pretty cool. It has a very retro Disney feel, and it has not modernized as much as the rest of Disneyland has, which I think is really fun. You will have to walk through Downtown Disney, essentially an outdoor mall that you do not need tickets for. If you are able to get into Disneyland Park, you can take the Monorail that goes into Tomorrowland –that way you can skip the line at the gate, and you can skip the walk. On the Monorail, you also get some cool narrated facts and sightseeing on the way.

If you’re willing to pay a premium for one of the nicest Disney hotel experiences ever, consider the Grand Californian. This hotel is visually stunning, whether it’s the exterior, lobby, or rooms. There are incredible wood accents everywhere; it has the best amenities of any of the hotels by far, and everything about it is pure Disney luxury. During the holidays, it’s even better. Additionally, if you have a ticket for California Adventure, you can go straight into the park through a small entrance on the side of the hotel. That entrance to California Adventure almost never has a line and is so convenient. And, it’s usually quicker to get to Disneyland Park by cutting through here and just walking across the main plaza.

Lastly, there is the Paradise Pier hotel. I would say this is for now my least favorite hotel. It’s themed around what was known as Paradise Pier in California Adventure, which was a Santa Monica-inspired pier with a ferris wheel and some carnival rides and games. In 2018 it became Pixar Pier. For whatever reason, at that point, the plan was for the hotel to stay the same, and it’s honestly just not my preference. It’s not as fancy as the Grand Californian, but the theme isn’t as fun as the Disneyland Hotel. It is, however, usually a little cheaper and quicker to get to both parks than the Disneyland Hotel. This winter, they are finally going to make it Pixar themed and call it the Pixar Place Hotel, which I think will be a very nice upgrade. I am definitely looking forward to seeing it.

Once You’re There

Okay, you’re in Disneyland. It’s the happiest place on earth, and you want to have a fun day or even a few fun days. Maybe you have a Park Hopper ticket and hopefully a Genie+ pass; your hotel could be just outside, or maybe you’re only there for a few hours. Regardless, I have some tips for you. First, try to get there early. If you are staying in a resort hotel, you can usually get into the park 30 minutes before opening. This means arriving between 7:30-8:00 a.m.; you can get on lines for several rides when there is almost no wait. However, only some attractions open at this time. You can check the Disneyland app or site to see which will be open during this period. If you don’t get the app, you can still be efficient. If you get through the security checkpoint before the parks open, you can rope drop, which essentially means being among the first to enter. If you run to your favorite attraction after this, you can usually skip a long line.

No matter the plans, get the Disneyland app. It’s free. Just trust me. There are so many things that you can only do on the app, like getting Genie+ passes, or accessing wait times for rides. Make a Disney account for even more options. If you paid for the Genie+ service, you will need the app to use it, and you will also need to scan your tickets into the app. You can only start buying Genie+ passes to get on faster lines once you are inside a park, but if you have a Park Hopper ticket, you will be able to get Genie+ passes for both parks, not just the one you’re in. Passes will be gone quick. Last week, I got to Disneyland Park 20 minutes after opening, and the earliest Haunted Mansion Holiday pass was for 10:00-11:00 p.m. If you are arriving at the park within the first hour, go get in line. Use the time you’re standing there to get on the app and buy your Genie+ passes.

If you’re there early, once you’re on line, start looking at what options you have. Try starting with a ride that is hours away and/or has a really long standby line. In Disneyland Park, think the Matterhorn, Haunted Mansion between September and December (when it’s holiday themed), Space Mountain, and Millenium Falcon: Smuggler’s Run. At California Adventure, try Toy Story Midway Mania, Incredicoaster, Soarin’, or Guardians of the Galaxy. All of these have really long lines day and night, and getting passes will save you hours.

Due to high demand, me and several other PVS students–Jess, Audrey, Lorelei, Zoey, and Landon–had to pay for the Lightning Lane pass for Radiator Springs Racers in Cars Land. Genie+ is unavailable for this ride. Here you pay $25 per person to get in the Lightning Lane (the shorter, speedier line). It was 100% worth it.

Let’s talk food (and some beverages, too). I will be honest; a lot of food at Disneyland isn’t very good. However, there are some places that I recommend. In Disneyland Park, I have found all of the best food is in the New Orleans Square section. If you can get reservations, the Blue Bayou is a Cajun restaurant located inside the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. It’s very fun and also has pretty good food. If you want to grab something to-go, a new restaurant, Tiana’s Palace, just opened a couple weeks ago. Unfortunately, I missed it by two days. However, most reviews say it’s pretty good. My personal favorite Disneyland food is the beignets sold at the Mint Julep Bar. Honestly, I don’t care for the mint juleps, but the beignets are amazing. They are hot, covered in powdered sugar, and Mickey-shaped! You can also mobile order these from the app which is very convenient. Oga’s Cantina in Galaxy’s Edge has some pretty cool drinks and weird snacks from another galaxy. If you’re a Star Wars fan, you have to visit this spot. If you are addicted to Starbucks, the Market House on Main Street is actually just a Starbucks.

In California Adventure, there are a few good options. The Pym Test Kitchen in Avengers Campus has some pretty interesting items – things like huge soft pretzels with lime and bacon condiments and chicken sandwiches with tiny buns and giant patties. They also are one of the only places that have a Coca-Cola Freestyle machine which means way more drink options. The Smokejumpers Grill in Grizzly Peak has good burgers and chicken tenders. The fried chicken at Flo’s V8 in Cars Land is really good, too. You can mobile order at all of these places. Just like the Market House in Disneyland Park, there is a Starbucks in disguise in California Adventure as well. It’s called Fiddler, Fifer & Practical Cafe, and it’s on Buena Vista Street. For what it’s worth, I prefer this location over the Market House. This one has indoor seating, and in my experience the line moves quicker. I also just think this whole area, inspired by Los Angeles in the 1920s, is pretty cool.

If you follow some of these tips, I guarantee you can pack more fun into your day at Disneyland while possibly paying less.

Design the Yearbook Cover!

September 21, 2023 by szachik@pvs.org Leave a Comment

We are excited to see the creativity and talent that our students bring in their yearbook cover ideas! Yearbook staff will be choosing the cover design come the first week of November.
Mr. Wendt-West, Yearbook Advisor

Never do these things in your relationships

September 15, 2023 by szachik@pvs.org Leave a Comment

Oliver’s post is the first in our series on Forbidden Things – stay tuned for forbidden foods, forbidden places, and surprise forbidden Indy things. Follow Oliver’s advice in “Things to Never Do in a Relationship” and you may avoid painful mistakes with that best friend, pet, or with your mother.
–Instructor Zachik

By Oliver Martinez

Have you ever done something to your friend, or your mom, or your pet—maybe as a joke, or by accident, or on purpose–and then you realize that your loved one kind of hates you for it ? Well, here are seven things never to do in your relationships . . . because who wants to be hated?

Don’t Do This to Your Friends

1. Leave your friend hanging

This is just cruel. Making plans and never showing up is pure evilness. After this, don’t expect to be talking to your friend for at least the next week or so. And, it’s even worse when you don’t give them a heads-up that you won’t be showing up. You just don’t show up at all, and now your friend won’t talk to you.

2. Leave your friend on “read”

What’s worse than leaving your friend’s text message on “delivered”?

When you read their message and decide not to respond.

Now, I speak from personal experience. I have been left on “read” and left others on “read ,” too. And, I can see why it’s annoying. Reading someone’s text and just deciding it’s not worth twenty-five seconds of your life to respond can lead to hurt feelings. Now, maybe your friend won’t stop talking to you for this, but they definitely will point it out the next time you hang out with them.

3. Prank your friend

Now, I’m not talking about those little pranks, like joking with your friends or just messing with them. I’m talking about those types of pranks where you throw their phone into a river or throw eggs at them. Those pranks are the ones that make your friend hate you, and “it’s just a joke” won’t fix the situation. Thankfully, for this one, I do not speak from personal experience. I’ve seen it happen, but it hasn’t happened to me.

Don’t Do This With Your Pets

4. Forget to give them their usual treat

Pets are smarter than they seem. They remember the routine of you giving them their usual treat. And, when you forget, they will remind you. And, by reminding you, I mean they will bark at you until you give them their treat. Here, I do speak from personal experience.

5. Put pet clothing on them

Pets hate when you put clothing on them. During the winter, we used to put a little sweater on one of my dogs because we thought she would be cold. But I guess one day she had enough of the sweater and found a way to take it off. She ripped it to shreds. From then on, we didn’t put clothes on my dog anymore. Besides, experts say that dressing up your dog “could cause painful rubbing against a dog’s skin, as well as causing them to potentially overheat and get stressed” (Prima.co.uk). So, whatever you do, don’t dress up your dog.

With Family Members, Remember, Don’t . . .

6. “Forget” to do your chores

Whether you actually forgot to take out the trash or you were just not feeling like it, parents –most of the time– get pretty mad if you don’t do your chores. I think that what annoys them most is knowing that we can easily do our chores but decide not to because we’re lazy. I would recommend at least giving a valid reason on why you couldn’t do your chores.

7. “Forget” to clean your room

This one technically comes under the umbrella of “not doing your chores,” but it’s such a problem that it’s in its own category. Are you ever just relaxing in your room and then your parents walk in and realize it’s a mess? Well, I know this has happened to the vast majority of us. And, parents get really upset when our room isn’t clean and tidy. I understand why they get angry, but at the same time, does my room really look that bad if I forget to make the bed one day? Or if I have two or three water bottles in my nightstand? Well, the point is, clean your room to make your parents happy.

Truth is, it’s impossible to keep everyone happy. At a certain point in time, you will say or do something dumb and your friends and family will briefly hate you for it. Best thing to do is to just make the mistakes and learn from them.

Perfect . . . if only the ending were different

September 14, 2023 by szachik@pvs.org Leave a Comment

In R.F. Kuang’s recently released “satirical literary thriller”* Yellowface, the writing-workshop characters answer, “What’s a book that would be perfect if you could rewrite the ending?” I put the question to our bloggers, allowing them to include movies, TV series, and short stories in their replies.

*New York Times

**Spoiler Alert: Story endings will be revealed in the following commentaries on The Road, The Giver, The Flash, and The Parent Trap.
Blog Instructor Zachik

**Oliver Martinez rewrites The Road.**

The book The Road ends with the dad dying and the boy leaving with another family. Although it may be a strong ending, I personally believe that it would’ve been better if they ended up waking from a dream and waking up in a better place. Since the whole book in general is very sad, maybe this would’ve made it seem less depressing.

**Gil Maruvada adds to The Giver.**

I would end The Giver with Jonas waking up in the snow in the morning holding the child Gabriel at the bottom of the hill he rolled down, the sled and houses having been a hallucination of his addled mind. He would find some food to eat, and search for civilization while investigating the outside world and what happened; additionally, he would explore the boundaries of the civilization he left. Eventually Gabriel would return as a teen and see what had become of the civilization they had left behind and the infighting that had occurred, and it would philosophically reinforce the themes of the novel while addressing the complexities of revolution and changing society.

**Louisa Richardson advocates shortening The Flash TV series.**

A tv show that would be perfect without the ending is The Flash. I absolutely love superheroes and the first season of that show was literal perfection . . . . Although almost everyone hates it now, it was one of the best DC shows . . . . The casting was great; the CGI was good . . . , and the general premise was great. After season 5, I think everything went downhill. The cast got too big; the CGI was horrible, and the script was so repetitive. If I could change it, I’d probably just make it so that The Flash ended after season 5 but maybe without the random long lost daughter from the future part.

Indy Behr champions the villain of The Parent Trap (again).

I get why the twins’ father Nick chose them over his ex Meredith Blake, but I still wish that they hadn’t ended her story by having her storm off angrily. I don’t think she was the villain, which I wrote a blog article*** about. . . . I do not think this ending was appropriate.

*FYI: Blog class voted for Louisa’s rewrite. Which do you like? If given the chance, what story ending would you rewrite?

***“Why Lindsay Lohan’s ‘The Parent Trap’ is the Greatest Movie Ever Made and Often the Most Misunderstood” by Indiana Behr

Advice Across the Ages: How to be in a Relationship

September 12, 2023 by szachik@pvs.org 2 Comments

By Freshman Louisa Richardson

One of the perks about being at a school like Palm Valley is that we go all the way from preschool to high-school seniors. This means, with all these ages, interviewing is really fun. I have found with past surveys that the answers to questions vary quite a lot depending on the age of the interviewee. When asking a rather silly question (at least in the little ones’ eyes) like, “Do you have any relationship advice,” kids usually start with a few giggles; whereas angry teenagers usually start with an eye roll. I asked a large group of kids, little ones to teenagers, the same question, Do you have relationship advice for new couples? I started with 4th graders, and worked my way up. Some responses were refreshingly wholesome, and some were outright disturbing.
Blogger Louisa

Asked: What relationship advice do you have for a new couple?

And, Answered:

“Keep like a friend!”

This response came from a little girl named Jasmine Linthreum. A sweet 4th grader, who, when I asked her class if anyone wanted to answer, raised her hand really high with a big smile on her face. This response was very heartwarming.

“First, keep a really safe distance before you act, and make sure you always keep a ring, just in case.”

Luke McDaniel answered with this delightful response; he is in fourth grade and took my question very seriously. He seemed to enjoy answering.

“Just tell the person you like to look up, down, to the side, and to the other side, then down again, then grab their chin and kiss ‘em! It worked for me.”

Sheldon Kirsch seems to know a lot about relationships. The fourth grader was extremely confident in his answer; his was the most mature answer in his class–even if his response might not work for the high schoolers.

“They should do a date every week! And, they should text each other during class, but only if they’re allowed. OH OHH make sure you say you love each other on Instagram!!”

Anna Boutine was one of the most enthused kids I asked; she seemed to have a lot of ideas.

“Try to get to know each other and be honest with each other.”

Cleo Antle (fifth grade) here gave some very good advice, with no giggles beforehand. I think we all can learn something from Cleo’s response.

“Don’t change yourself for anybody.”

This response comes from a delightful Sophia after about five minutes of giggles.

“Don’t rush it and take it slow, and be really careful. Also don’t do a reality tv show; I’ve seen what it does to people.”

Mikel Lomsky is the most mature person I have interviewed in any class. His response is very accurate and wise. He is in the fifth grade.

“Just get to know each other before dating.”

Reagan Kaminsky here burst out laughing when I asked her my question. It was very interesting to compare the differences between her and Mikel, as they were sitting right next to each other, in the same grade, same class, and yet their initial reactions are so different.

“Don’t rush and make sure everything is consensual.”

Bella Lua here seems to know what she’s talking about as she is in a relationship. She was very mature. In comparison to the other kids in the eighth grade that I interviewed, she definitely took this question seriously.

“Lick her earlobes, and uhh treat yo girl with pure kindness and make sure to comfort her.”

Raven Sayers (eighth grade) here is definitely right about the last part.

“Don’t pick someone high maintenance. Don’t buy gifts; keep your money.”

Caleb Kassinove (freshman) is absolutely right. He gave a very mature response.

“Do I look like I know anything about relationships?”

Brooklyn Hatrak (freshman) seems like she’s speaking from experience.

“The honeymoon phase doesn’t last forever.”

Olivia Puetz couldn’t be more correct. She is a freshman in high school and seems like she’s already sick of all the public displays of affection.

“No, I don’t have any relationship advice!!”

Ally Bankers (senior) delivered this response over paper, but she certainly wrote aggressively. I would call this response immature, but she may just not be happy to see me.

“Don’t get in one; it ruins sports and your grades. Be really careful and learn how to balance it.”
Arsh Rehman had one of the most mature responses of his class. He is a senior.

“Listen, forgive, and explain your feelings accurately.”
Mr. Satterfield was very mature, and gave an accurate response.

“Be nice and always open minded.”

Jasmine Grace, LS Administrative Assistant, delivered this response with the appropriate amount of seriousness.

After having interviewed at least two people from a wide variety of ages, I have come to the conclusion that relationship wisdom really just depends on the person and their personal experience. Although I got a lot of giggles from the lower schoolers, I also got a lot of giggles from the seniors. As for maturity, I can confidently say that the teachers I asked were definitely the most serious. I think the levels of maturity really vary depending on the person, but once you get past the age of around twenty, you become much more serious. Thank you to all the kids and adults I interviewed!

Four Ways to get your Fuzzy Friends to Favor You

September 7, 2023 by szachik@pvs.org 1 Comment

Let’s use “relationship” as a verb, as in how to “ski,” or how to “cook pasta.” Here at thebirdonfire.org, we considered “how to relationship”: how to be the best we can with our loved ones, how to be healthy, giving, and strategic. We have relationships with our spouses, our boyfriends, our girlfriends, our siblings, our parents, and our bff’s. We have relationships with our furry loved ones–or, as Oliver says, our fuzzy loved ones. Oliver considers how to have healthy relationships with our dogs.

By Sophomore Oliver Martinez

Having a good relationship with your dog can be hard work. However, there is a reason why dogs are called “man’s best friend.” I have a Basset Hound and a Dachshund–Muñeca and Heidi respectively. I’ve had Muñeca the Basset Hound for three years. Heidi has been with me for ten years. Here are four things that have helped me get along well with my dogs.

Tip #1: Spend time with your dog.

This one may be obvious, but to have a good relationship with your dog, you have to spend time with it. Some ways to do so include: Take your dog on a walk; teach it some tricks; play catch with it. Dogs love when you spend time with them. It makes them feel safe and happy. According to rover.com, “The hormone oxytocin, or ‘the love chemical,’ is released in dogs’ brains during positive social interactions.” It would be wise to spend time with your dog as they enjoy it and start to like you more.

Regularly, Oliver takes his dogs Muñeca and Heidi for walks. He recommends you do the same.

Tip #2: Buy your dog gifts.

Buying your dog a gift every once in a while can feel really nice. Both the doggo and you enjoy these types of moments. Whether it’s a new toy like a chewy squeaky toy or a new bed, dogs like the attention and appreciate you even more.

According to Dr. Ellen Langer, a professor of psychology from Harvard, “When you give a gift to your dog, it’s sort of pure. You just assume the dog is going to like it, you feel relaxed, the dog senses that you’re relaxed, and the interaction is loving.” When the dog perceives that you are relaxed, it relaxes, too. So, maybe it’s time to go buy a gift for your pet–for both your sake and the sake of your dog.

Oliver bought his Basset Hound Muñeca a blue plastic Dodgers cap when she was still a baby. Oliver recommends you present your dogs with the occasional gift.

Tip #3: Reward your dog with treats.

Dogs love being rewarded. And, they also love treats. When your dog is being obedient, why not give it a treat? There are many different types of foods to give your dog. I usually give my dog vegetables, like carrots or celery. I also give my dog salmon bite treats. These dog treats are not only healthy, but dogs genuinely like eating them. According to Reader’s Digest (rd.com), the salmon bites “contain Alaskan salmon oil”; they “improve dog’s skin and coat and can reduce itchiness and chronic licking” and are “easily digestible”–all of which are big pros for your dog’s health.

Apart from that, treats help you train your dog to obey your commands. My dogs get carrots when they “Sit” successfully.

Frequently, Oliver rewards his dogs with treats for good behavior. Here, Muñeca gets a carrot for putting herself to bed.

Tip #4: Respect your dog.

This one may be the most important one of them all. Respecting your dog is very important. It’s like the popular phrase “treat others like you want to be treated.” Dogs are clever animals, and they understand when you show them respect; in turn, they’ll show you respect as well. It is important that we take care of our animals because we accepted responsibility for them when we adopted them. Their well being depends on us. So, let’s make our best effort to respect our dog and show them our love. Talk nicely to your dog–no raising your voice. Pet your dog. In play or training, don’t be physical to the extent that you could hurt your dog.

Having a good relationship with your dog certainly isn’t easy, but is definitely worth it. I’ve been using these tips with my dogs since we got them, and it has worked out pretty well. Try these tips out, and let us know in the comments if they worked!

Name That Blogger

September 1, 2023 by szachik@pvs.org 1 Comment

By way of introducing our 2023-24 staffers, let’s play “Name That Blogger!”

I asked our 2023 bloggers to write spatial autobiographies, detailing objects that define them (a prompt borrowed from Poets & Writers). Below, you’ll find excerpts from these spatial autobiographies; you guess which blogger belongs to which objects. (Hint: You might consider pulling from the vibrant-voiced pool of Indiana Behr, Oliver Martinez, Gil Maruvada, and Louisa Richardson.)

You can log your guesses in the Gil-created Name That Blogger quiz.
Blog Instructor Zachik

[A] Who’s That Blogger? _______________________________

In my room the lighting is horrible, this is because it is an old house which shows my ability to accept everyone no matter what age. I share the bedroom with my little sister with a little pink bunk bed situated on the left side of the room. I called the bottom bunk because I knew I would get to hang stuff up on the “ceiling” of it. Which demonstrates my ability to think ahead. What I didn’t think about is the fact that Morgan vomits when she’s nervous and she has thrown up on me twice this year. But that’s okay because it shows the fact that I am willing to learn from my mistakes, and choose the top bunk next time.

[B] Who’s This Blogger? _________________________________

When I think of an area with a large group of objects in my house, I think of my coffee setup. There’s lots of stuff, but a few of them make me think of several memories. My first coffee grinder was about $150 dollars, which for coffee grinders is not very much, and it doesn’t really give me the best results. I have several newer, nicer, models, and I really never use this one, and yet, I can’t sell it or get rid of it because of the attachment I have to it. I have a plastic Hario V60, which is a pour over device that costs less than $10. It was the first object of its kind I purchased, and its actually just as good as similar devices that cost hundreds of dollars and I still used it for years, until one day, I dropped it after brewing, and it cracked in two. I was able to purchase a new one that was identical, and it was still cheap, and yet still, it does not feel the same. Everytime I use it, I still miss the old one.

[C] And, Who’s This? ______________________________________

I walk around my house and see a bottle with germ killer spray and it reminds me of 3 years ago when we used it excessively to clean anything and everything that entered our house to protect ourselves from covid.

I also see a large clean green screen which was used to make movies last year for Mr. Griffin’s class. Reminds me of having to re-film a scene 20 times because Matteo didn’t like it.

I see a purple legacy edition LeBron James jersey which reminds me of the many Lakers games I have gone to.

I see a bookshelf with all The Diary of a Wimpy Kid books in order, which reminds me of going on long road trips and reading them along the way.

[D] And, Who Is This Blogger? _______________________________________

The books lining the shelves remind me of the stories that I’ve read, that I used to read, and ones that I haven’t yet finished. Every book has its own story, each one with different memories attached. How can the shelves bear the weight of so much thought? A small box that was used for holding cigars contains fossils and rocks, a gift in a curious container. You see the box was given to me by a man who used to smoke cigars in the house next door, the box boasts of holding 25 of them at one point. Fossils. A small model ship given to me by my grandparents sits on a shelf, the Mayflower. I was born in May, but I am not a flower, nor can I carry 135 people. A chessboard sits in the closet; I used to use it to play with my brother. It feels good to win. A telescope takes up a corner; it was a gift from a family friend who I met when I was little. Chance gave me the ability to meet him again almost a year ago. Sometimes chance is a curious creature; it has guided my life in many ways. People are born of chance, become students of chance, work for chance, and die by chance. Sometimes life is a curious creature. When you are at your lowest, you’ll never be there again. But, when you reach your highest point, you can’t live it again either. It might be best to just move forward.

Guess your blogger on the Gil-created quiz: Name That Blogger Quiz

A Classic Dinner Table Argument

August 29, 2023 by szachik@pvs.org Leave a Comment

Since the PVS Blog staff is busy polishing its first assigned posts for 2023-24, we dug into our archives for this one. Last spring, blogger Louisa Richardson valiantly pursued an answer to the question, “Which is the most difficult sport?” I’ve heard the stories of our winning volleyball players sacrificing life, limb, and bruise-free complexions as they dive across the gym floor. Is that the most demanding sport? The Palm Valley community talked to Louisa and had some surprising responses.
Blog Instructor Zachik

A Survey, Conducted by Louisa Richardson

One of the more controversial subjects at my dinner table is the debate over “What is the most difficult sport?” My father thinks it’s tennis. I think it’s hockey. My mom and sister think it’s swimming. There is no consensus. I’m here to change that. I talked to Coach Erenberg, and I DID find out what The Most Difficult Sport is.

Coach says that the hardest mental and physical sport is hockey because it is like any other sport, but on skates. My aunt has a different hypothesis; she thinks that dance is the hardest. As a dancer myself I have always thought that ballet was the hardest mental sport simply because of the mental abuse it puts you through. It seems like everyone has a different opinion, so maybe the best way to decide is a vote.

Dr. Sherman and Mr. Satterfield agree the hardest sport is ultramarathon running because it goes on for so long that you have the constant opportunity to fail.

Ms. Schapiro states, “Rock climbing [is most difficult] because it requires mental and physical acuity (also I’m scared of heights).”

Upper Schooler Cindy Wang says the most challenging sport is “Horseback riding because you have no control over the horse, and often at competitions they have you ride a different horse than you are used to.”

Ms. Bartosik says the most difficult sport is “Boxing because it can have a lot of bad injuries that can result in a lot of recovery time, so you have to be in good shape.” She adds, “I have a lot of respect for boxers.”

Ms. Greer, Lead Administrative Assistant, presumes that horse polo is the hardest sport because of the trust you need to put in your horse.

Mr. Killeen thinks that water polo is the hardest sport because it “gets really physical and is also underappreciated.”

Students Lorelei Behr and Scarlett Barrett believe that the hardest sport is football because of the brain trauma and general aggressiveness the sport contains.

Finally, Middle Schooler Hunter Harrington says of sports, “All of them [are difficult] ‘cause no one ever lets me play…”

Not including myself, we have two votes for football, several for boxing, two votes for ultramarathon running, and a bunch of other sports. You’re probably thinking that it would be a three-way tie, but a special guest states that The Most Difficult Sport . . . is boxing. Who’s that special guest, you ask? It is Google. When you ask Google: What is the most difficult sport? It answers . . . boxing (ESPN). Boxing is the hardest sport. You will be happy to know that most of the other sports mentioned are also up there on the difficulty scale, but boxing has won overall.

Although I might have not agreed with this opinion before, Ms. Bartosik offered a pretty convincing argument with the threat of serious injury. Thus, the consensus is . . . Boxing is the hardest sport.