By Claire Jenkins
Now mind you, I have a PERMIT, not a license. I am but a child in the driving world, and it is a SCARY world, people. For those of you who have been driving for years, it may seem like second-hand nature, but for us newbies it is practically WWIII. Whether you are trying to switch lanes or make it through a four-way stop in one piece, it feels like death flashes by every five seconds.
Below is a list of driving no-no’s that I accidentally “yes-yes’d”:
- Stop signs are suggestions, right? Maybe not. But, okay, sometimes they are hidden behind things, such as bushes or people, and sometimes I’m just stupid, alright. I sort of made a rolling stop at one, but like, right in the middle of the intersection. It’s fine; I’m fine.
- Blinkers. Blinkers are complicated, and sometimes I mix up which way to push them. So, if you ever see an idiot turning right with their left blinker on, it’s probably me.
- Four-way stops. Okay, but if you and THREE other people all arrive at a four-way stop at the same time and everyone on your right goes first, excuse me, what? Then everyone is waving their hands at each other, and everyone is slowly inching forward, and next thing you know it’s been two hours and everyone has moved AN INCH. Driving is not for the impatient.
- Not hitting bikers is hard. Not honking at bikers is harder. Bikers shouldn’t be allowed on the road. That’s it.
- You know how you can turn right on a red light? Yeah, except I went left on a red light. Live fast die young; honestly, I’m amazed I’m still alive.
- What’s the difference between reverse and drive? I found out the hard way, and so did the curb in front of me. Olé, friend.
- I’ve cut people off before, but I haven’t killed anyone yet. I swear it’s not malicious; I really just don’t know what I’m doing.
I really do try my best, guys. Thanks for enjoying my stupidity, and don’t report me for breaking as many laws as I have while driving.
Editor: Makena Behnke