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The Bird is the Word: Sophisticated Schoolyard Shenanigans

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Picture Day: A Poem

September 12, 2018 by szachik@pvs.org 2 Comments

By Leo Milmet

Picture day, when people try to look their best so they can have an unrealistic nostalgia trip in forty years.

Picture day, when you take a picture with EXACTLY the right amount of smile.

Picture day, when they rank kids from tallest to shortest so they can get in exactly the right place on an uncomfortable metallic bench.

Picture day, a day of hell for people who hate the word (and/or the food) “cheese.”

Picture day, a day that unapologetically and openly celebrates vanity, as opposed to other days which apologetically and subtextually celebrate vanity.

Picture day, the day when you sit out in the hotter-than-Hades desert sun, squinting in its radiating brightness, and waiting as the photographer perfects the camera settings.

Picture day, where you better remember to wear formal dress or you may not be in the class photo.

 

So, please, remember to wear formal dress on Picture Day at Palm Valley School, this Tuesday, September 18th, 2018.

Editor: Luke Langlois

Filed Under: Advice, Culture, Current News, School Events Tagged With: Leo Milmet, Picture Day

A Madman

August 30, 2018 by szachik@pvs.org 2 Comments

thebirdonfire.org returns to hosting student poetry, fiction, essays, op-ed pieces, graphic art, events, and various schoolyard shenanigans. We launch the new school year with a poem from blog staffer and poet, sophomore Leo Milmet.

 

By Leo Milmet

 

I wrote like a madman, hiding in the laundry room.

I ended the note with a smiley face.

Then, out of the house, and

Into the fire.

Note in pocket,

I walked him home from school.

“I love you. See you tomorrow.”

He hugged me to death, as if he knew….

I walked home, got the rope, and went into the garage.

The door opened and closed.

ERR ERRR ERRR ERRR

Then silence.

I took a drink. I tied the rope. And died.

They found me peaceful, relaxed, quiet, a

Smile on my face, just like in the note.

 

Editor: Bella Bier

Filed Under: Poetry Tagged With: Leo Milmet

We’re Back, Ya Blog-Following Crazy People!

August 30, 2018 by szachik@pvs.org 4 Comments

By Leo Milmet

 

What’s poppin’, guys? We’re back with some cool newbies.

 

thebirdonfire.org Blog Staff this semester includes:

 

Makena Behnke

Bella Bier

Jeremy Cheng

Holden Hartle

Luke Langlois

Leo Milmet

AJ Patencio

 

Ms. Zachik, Advisor

 

Now get on with your life until we have something else to say.

 

Editor: Bella Bier

Filed Under: Set Up and Welcome Tagged With: Leo Milmet, welcome

Fear and Loathing

May 30, 2018 by szachik@pvs.org 1 Comment

By Leo Milmet

 

I’ve been called a liar.

A bit excessive.

A weak little weasel who has just gotta toughen up.

A cold-hearted young man with a face of stone.

A slave to my fears.

A bitter soul.

I’ve been asked “What the hell is wrong with you?” countless times.

I’ve been unfavorably compared to the accommodation-needing, annoying kid in the car who constantly asks “Are we there yet?”

I’ve been told, by well-intentioned people, “Mine is different. You wouldn’t have a problem with mine.”

 

 

All I said was,

“I’m afraid of dogs.”

 

Editor: Peter Kadel

Filed Under: Culture, Horror, Poetry, The World Tagged With: dogs, Fear and Loathing, Leo Milmet

The Value of Guilty Pleasures

May 25, 2018 by szachik@pvs.org 2 Comments

By Leo Milmet

Have you ever seen a film or television show, or read a book, or listened to a song, that you really, really like (or maybe even…LOVE) that you know is just awful? Or maybe you hate something for many reasons, but love to analyze just why you hate it, or you genuinely like a film, book, show, or song that everyone else hates? These various types of films are often called guilty pleasures, and I must say that I have many of them. I used to think of guilty pleasures as embarrassing, but not anymore. I actually really embrace my enjoyment of many truly bad (or badly reviewed) film and shows, like Maris Curran’s drama Five Nights in Maine, the new Burt Reynolds film The Last Movie Star (the rare film that I truly, honestly love that still has terrible reviews), almost any M. Night Shyamalan film (with the exception of Lady in the Water and the god-awful The Last Airbender) or, especially, the CW-produced coming-of-age show Gossip Girl. I really, honestly like that show. It’s awful, yes, and I despise nine out of ten shows of its type, but for some reason, I enjoy Gossip Girl. All art is subjective, so subjective that, in fact, you could easily argue that there should be no such thing as a “guilty pleasure,” but no matter. There is value to these artistic works.

Now, you may ask, “Where on earth is the value in Gossip Girl, or The Village, or even in Five Nights in Maine?” For myself, I find the value in “bad” films or shows by analyzing them, just to understand why they are bad. I can safely say that Gossip Girl is bad. The dialogue is sometimes ridiculously unrealistic, and the plotting can be very lazy. But, it’s incredibly fun for me to watch, and I love to analyze just why it is, in fact, a bad show. It’s simply a bad show that I watch all the time. And, doing exactly that, with whatever guilty pleasure you may have, is what I recommend to you today. If you’ve always had a couple of guilty pleasures that you’ve been embarrassed about for a while, maybe go through them again one day and try to figure out just why they are bad, good, or some mixture of the two. Trust me, it can be a lot of fun.

Editor: Makena Behnke

Filed Under: Op-Ed, Review Tagged With: Leo Milmet, The Value of Guilty Pleasures

Baby

May 21, 2018 by szachik@pvs.org 3 Comments

By Leo Milmet, with anonymous collaboration

 

Breakfast.

Jim and I, with our son John and daughter Lynn.

Daddy Jim started acting strange.

Then he started talking strange.

“I’m going to watch a sp-sport t-todd-ay, where they hit a b-ball in the hole.”

“Golf?”

“G-g-gah-lffff? No, Victoria, n-no, not g-goh-lf.”

John said he was having a stroke.

The paramedics came running.

Doctors at the hospital asked many questions.

“You got a wife?”

Daddy Jim gave no answer.

The doctor said, “Any children? A baby?”

Jim said, “D-doll.”

I asked Daddy Jim, “Doll? What doll? Do you have a doll?”

He answered, “Baby. Baby…Babydoll.”

So, I said, “Babydoll? Who is your baby doll?”

Jim said, “Victoria.”

Me.

Then he closed his eyes and died.

I cried.

 

Editor: Claire Jenkins

Filed Under: Poetry Tagged With: Baby, Leo Milmet

A Review of The Palm Valley Middle School Drama Department’s Alice in Wonderland, Jr.

May 16, 2018 by szachik@pvs.org 1 Comment

By Leo Milmet, Theatre Critic*

 

Grade: B

I don’t know what to think about the Palm Valley Middle School Drama Department’s production of Alice in Wonderland, Jr. If the play’s brilliant directors, Mr. Craig Gahnz, Ms. Kim Phillips, and the legendary Mr. Ken Sarkis, had shown me the script (without any of the great lines added by Mr. Sarkis), I would have politely asked if the person who wrote the script had seen a play before. Alice in Wonderland, Jr., as a script, is a mess.

 

I had seen half of the play already and wasn’t much of a fan of the writing, so I went in the theatre with the review half-written in my head. But, after seeing the whole show, I no longer thought of writing scathing comments about the show (aside from the writing). Mr. Sarkis, Mr. Gahnz, and Ms. Phillips are amazing. They have taken a simplistic script and mostly mediocre musical score and somehow, someway, turned these elements into a decent production. How? To start with, the choreography is excellent. Ms. Phillips has a true artist’s eye for dance, and here she has created some of her most spectacularly choreographed numbers. Her big, showy numbers work as pure energy and spectacle, further enhanced by the students’ real love of theatre. The staging even manages to ground the nonsensical plot.

 

The play was also technically brilliant. The sets, lighting, costumes, hair, and makeup are aesthetically pleasing. When I walked into the theatre, I saw the majestic black-and-white of the whole stage, and when all of the colorful costumes, hair, and makeup (all incredibly designed, by the way) appear, the juxtaposition feels like…well, it feels like Wonderland. The lighting is also visually pleasing which includes some brilliant glow-in-the-dark moments. However, maybe more could’ve been done to vary and accentuate the lighting to truly make the audience feel like they were in a crazy Wonderland.

 

The play’s middle-school cast does the job well, and many of its members do it exceptionally well. Kaiya Treash, Mia Alexander, and Kanan Levy make for amazing Alice’s. They’re the only actors in the cast tasked with playing a character that is even a little more than just a silly caricature, and they do it well. I got a genuine sense of Alice’s childlike giddiness and naiveté. Also notable are Carter Keenan as the hilarious and adorable King of Hearts, and Henry Swenning, whose Mad Hatter kept me entertained whenever he was on stage. However, some small aspects of the production were just a tiny bit unpolished–some stumbles could have been smoothed out, but no matter — the actors are quite talented, and their energy is through the roof. In fact, the pure theatrical energy of the cast is what saves this show from mediocrity, almost as much as the directing of the actors.

 

The play is very “Sarkissian.” The second act of Alice in Wonderland, Jr. returned to the beautiful wonkiness of Mr. Sarkis’s self-written plays such as Home Sweet Homer and Shakespeare at Starlucks. The spectacular show-stopper in the beginning of the second act that I’m not likely to forget anytime soon, “Zip-a-dee-doo-dah,” was a nostalgic blend of new-age spectacle and a true Sarkis production.

 

My one major complaint is that I wish the cast had gotten more of a chance to play legitimately challenging roles. With the play’s length being around an hour and a half (including intermission), only a few people even get to have the experience of becoming a character. Every character (maybe even Alice) is a caricature, and not much can be done about it. The issue stems from the choice of material which, I’m afraid, is the major weak point. These “Jr.” shows that the directors get from Music Theater International such as Into The Woods, Jr. and Alice In Wonderland, Jr. are, in my experience, short, terribly written, spectacle-based musicals. But this one also lacks good roles for the actors which is why I cannot understand why this play was chosen. This play does not befit these great middle-school actors, and it certainly does not befit the play’s three brilliant directors.

 

So, what is my overall recommendation? I give this musical a definite thumbs-up, with the writing and lack of good roles being my only reservations. The play is entertaining; it’s short, and I think most people liked it even more than myself. Regardless of the flaws, I cannot overstate the great combination of the amazing energy of the cast and the definite skill of the directors. So, I hope you saw it, especially if you have small kids. You probably had a wonderful time.

 

Editor: Brennan Nick

*The views of critic Milmet are his own and don’t represent the views of thebirdonfire.org as an institution.

Filed Under: Advice, Culture, Current News, Performances, Review Tagged With: A Review of The Palm Valley Middle School Drama Department's Alice in Wonderland, Jr., Leo Milmet, Theatre Critic

Nothingness: A Poem Inspired by Cormac McCarthy’s The Road

May 11, 2018 by szachik@pvs.org Leave a Comment

By Leo Milmet

 

Dark.

Cold.

Bleak.

Nothingness.

That’s all that ever was.

All that ever will be.

All else is just distraction.

The window you look out of and the images on television are no different.

Fiction and fantasy.

Masks of darkness.

But nothing’s really there.

It’s just a second away from destruction.

Your mother, your father, your greatest friends–all of us.

We are nothing.

Editor: Renée Vazquez

Filed Under: Poetry, Uncategorized Tagged With: Leo Milmet, Nothingness: A Poem Inspired by Cormac McCarthy's The Road

The Definition of Irony

May 2, 2018 by szachik@pvs.org Leave a Comment

By Leo Milmet, reflections on the theme of love

 

“I don’t love you anymore. It’s not fun anymore.”

With that, she shot me down, and I died a little inside.

I’m dying of a broken heart, and I can’t sleep.

She ate my heart, and I’m watching Night of the Living Dead to keep my mind off her.

I’m eating a pint of chocolate ice cream. That was her favorite flavor.

I’m reading a poem called “Depression,” and watching The Grapes of Wrath, to keep my mind

off my depression.

Why the hell am I doing this?

I seem to love wallowing in my misery.

I try to hate her, but it seems I’ve never loved her more.

 

Editor: Bella Bier

Filed Under: Poetry Tagged With: Leo Milmet, The Definition of Irony: A Poem

Portable Poem Day

April 23, 2018 by szachik@pvs.org Leave a Comment

By Leo Milmet

As many PVS students already know, on Tuesday, April 24, Palm Valley will be celebrating Portable Poetry Day. Essentially, the students will celebrate by wearing a word on themselves in some way. Below is Mr. Griffin’s release for Portable Poetry Day, where you can learn all about how we’re celebrating Portable Poetry Day at PVS.

If you need a couple of ideas for words, check below the poster for a few interesting words that might just tickle your fancy.

National Poetry Week

TUESDAY, APRIL 24

PORTABLE POETRY DAY

RELEASE THE MAGIC OF WORDS!

BE THE POEM YOU ARE!

Instructions:

  1. COME UP WITH YOUR MOST FANTABULOUSLY EXPRESSIVE WORD. ADJECTIVE, NOUN, ADVERB, VERB–WHATEVER. THIS WILL BE YOUR WORD FOR THE DAY.
  2. ON TUESDAY, APRIL 24-–WEAR IT PORTABLY SOMEWHERE ON YOUR SELF:
  • PINNED OR TAPED TO YOUR SHIRT, FRONT OR BACK
  • ON YOUR SHOE, ON YOUR SOCK
  • ON YOUR PANTS, ON YOUR SKIRT
  • ON YOUR HAT, IN YOUR HAIR
  • ON YOUR FACE, ON YOUR NOSE, ON YOUR EAR
  • THINK AHEAD AND HAVE IT PRINTED ON A T-SHIRT

(Dress code is still in force, but you may wear any alternate clothing that is directly related to your WORD: a hat, a scarf, a shirt, etc.)

  1. ON TUESDAY:  ALL THROUGH THE MORNING, PUT YOURSELF TOGETHER WITH CLASSMATES & FRIENDS & TEACHERS TO FORM WILDLY IMAGINATIVE POEMS THAT ARE PORTABLE!
  2. AT LUNCH IN MR. GRIFFIN’S ROOM, WORDS AND POEMS WILL BE VOTED ON AND PRIZES WILL BE AWARDED:
  • MOST HILARIOUS WORD
  • MOST ATTRACTIVE WORD
  • MOST EXOTIC (UNUSUAL) WORD
  • MOST MEANINGFUL COMBO
  • MOST SURPRISING COMBO
  • 2018’s MOST PORTABLY FANTASTIC POEM

Some of our favorite words here in Blog Class:

  • Orwellian
  • Vertebrate
  • Coniferous
  • Crepuscular
  • Antidisestablishmentarianism
  • Astroturfing  

Editor: AJ Patencio

Filed Under: Culture, Current News, Letters, Poetry, School Events Tagged With: Leo Milmet, National Poetry Month, Poetry Week, Portable Poetry Day

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About

We are the Palm Valley Firebirds of Rancho Mirage, California. Join us in our endeavors. Venture through the school year with us, perusing the artwork of our students, community, and staff. Our goal is to share the poems, stories, drawings and photographs, essays and parodies that come out of our school. Welcome aboard!