Advice Archives - the bird on fire

A Grade Ahead

February 25, 2026 by szachik@pvs.org 3 Comments

Part of The Bird on Fire’s What’s in the News

By Middle-School Blogger Jackie Pretorius

Once every year we have this thing called Move-up Day, where everyone goes to the next grade level. That means that the 5th graders get a sneak peek into middle school.

The 5th graders joined us for Morning Soar on Move-Up Day. Photo credit: PVS Facebook.

This year’s Move-Up Day started off with Morning Soar, saying the Pledge of Allegiance, doing what we normally do in assembly. We introduced the Middle-Upper School to the 5th graders and the 5th graders to the Middle-Upper School.

The schedule was different from a usual Friday, having all the periods from one to seven in order. This meant that students got to meet new teachers as well as revisit old ones. The classes showed us concepts we were going to do once we got to the next grade, while the electives stayed the same. The 12th graders went to college. Just kidding–they got a free day off, but they could also talk to the juniors and sophomores about the college-application process if they chose to during lunch.

PVS alumnus Sara Habibipour, now at UCLA, Facetimed with the Juniors and Sophomores, explaining the demands of the quarter system and midterms, and joys of college extracurriculars. Photo credit: PVS Facebook.

Let’s look at some quotes about Move-Up day.

Max (fellow blogger): I remember my first Move-up Day. It was a day like any other. My Move-Up Day buddy was Louisa Richardson, and she did an act of kindness that I’ll never forget. She bought me a bag of Cheetos at the vending machine for a dollar. I savored every last Cheeto.

7th-Grade Savannah had some words of wisdom for the 5th graders: “Don’t be nervous. Be yourself.”

Ms. Schapiro added, “Good advice.”

Sophomore John, after interacting with current college students, observed, I can see “hard work goes a long way.”

Overall, Move-Up Day was an exciting day as everyone got the chance to explore a bit of what the next grade has to offer.

Living in the Moment

December 31, 2025 by szachik@pvs.org 1 Comment

Part of The Bird on Fire’s In the News

By 8th-Grade Blogger Soleil Antle

Christmas is nine days away, and I am home in Canada. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else because this is where it feels like home. Celebrating the joys of the season with all my closest friends and family, there is snow on the rooftops and an aroma of love in the air. This is marking the end of 2025 and my last year in middle school. 2026 is around the corner, and even though one chapter of our lives is closing, another is just beginning. I reflect on all my memories from 2025 and how fast things went by. One thing I wish for 2026 for myself and everyone else is to not be afraid to live in the moment. I remember constantly taking photos or videos instead of being present in what was happening around me. I hope that next year instead of documenting everything we can live in the moment.

Eleanor Roosevelt’s “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams” quote is special. Everyone has a different story and only you can decide whether you chase your dreams or not. I tell you, this 2026 I’ll be chasing mine.

Soleil didn’t spend all her Christmas vacation in snowy Canada . . . . She writes, “This is a photo I took during a sunset in Hawaii, when it was just my sister and I on the beach.”

A World Without Technology

November 4, 2025 by szachik@pvs.org 2 Comments

By 8th-Grade Blogger Soleil Antle

Our world is defined by all the things that make it unique, our ability to sustain life, water, oxygen, etc., but lately we’ve been caught in a web of technology–one that is so addictive that we lose sight of who we truly are. We see influencers as role models and change ourselves to gain popularity. What’s the point in changing ourselves to be like other people? In the past, we were true to ourselves. When I think of social media and AI, I wonder what our world would be like without that technology.

Not all technology is inadequate, as the different forms give us things like electrical power, the satisfaction of researching a topic online, discoveries to help us communicate with astronauts up in space, medical findings and much more. But there is one thing everyone seems to be addicted to, and that is the iPhone. Children of this generation are growing up using their screens all day long, spending their time learning “brain rot” or binge watching shows. Parents don’t realize the effect that constant screentime has on their children as they are also busy scrolling on Instagram or TikTok themselves. But, if we were to take the scrolling and the binge watching away, even for a short period of time, we would become more involved in what is happening around us.

The University of Chicago Press says, “The mere presence of one’s . . . smartphone reduces available cognitive capacity.” Photo Credit: Soleil Antle

Back in time when we didn’t have such things as tablets or iPhones, people spent their time hanging out with their friends and family. Relationships were stronger and children didn’t try to change who they were based off images they saw online. This type of socializing emphasized the phrase “live in the moment.”

Social media is a loop that triggers the brain’s reward system through likes, comments, etc. It helps with FOMO (fear of missing out) and makes people forget about the real world problems they are facing. But, when I think of all the problems we are facing in the world today, I wonder if some problems come from children being inappropriately influenced. Influencers who spread their content on social media have a lot more power than it seems, and their word has a big impact on many people. This applies to the foods they eat, what they wear, how they act. Aspiring adults take in what these people are saying, and use it for themselves. Not embracing their true selves makes them “sheep.” (Sheeple : people who are docile, compliant, or easily influenced.–Merriam-Webster).

If we took away the power of mindless influencers, we would use our best judgement. We would talk to family and friends more, and be kinder to everyone. Think about your life, your addiction to technology. How can you work in a little time to spend with family, friends or hobbies without a phone in your hand?

Sometimes you just have to put your phone down and live in the moment.

Political Violence Needs to End

October 10, 2025 by szachik@pvs.org Leave a Comment

By Middle-School Bloggers Sami Alnabelsi and Mason Conway

Those who make peaceful revolution impossible, will make violent revolution inevitable.
–President John F. Kennedy

There has been an increasing divide between opposing political beliefs. And that makes for dehumanization. We forget the person disagreeing with us is a person, too.

It feels like in the last couple decades, political figures and parties have further split apart, showing no agreements. This needs to stop. Violence is erupting. Something should be done to show we can agree on more things than we know. Also, political figures need to stop stirring things up, stop being hypocrites, and start sticking to what they believe.

According to the United Nations Office for Disaster Risk Reduction (or UNDRR), “Violence is a social phenomenon that involves forceful acts or behaviour that are intended to cause harm. The injury or damage inflicted by violence to an individual or collective group may be physical, psychological, . . . or deprivation.” Compared to criminal acts such as violence of personal gain, political violence has a core element, and that is political motivation. For example, someone’s political party has certain beliefs, and another has a different set of beliefs. If you feel those beliefs go against yours, and you take it so seriously that you’re moved to violence, this would be political violence. Usually when people are committing political violence, they often target a specific person, but in some cases this violence is focused on institutions or entire governments.

Have we seen a rise of political violence?

Now that we know what political violence is, we can see if this form of violence has increased over the years, or even decades. According to GOVFACTS, high profile attacks sometimes create a perception that political violence is rapidly increasing. Now let’s look at the numbers to actually see what’s going on. According to ACLED (Armed Conflict Location & Event Data), the US has joined the list of top 50 conflict-ridden countries, primarily due to rising political violence. And, according to Princeton University’s Bridging Divides Initiative, there is a rise in threats and harassment in this country. Threats against public officials are rapidly increasing to almost 3x the number of what they were in 2020 (see GOVFACTS chart below). The rate of political violence is climbing. It needs to stop.

What is driving the rise in political violence?

There are so many factors on why political violence is on the climb. According to GOVFACTS, a major reason for this is dehumanization or “affective polarization.” It is where you have sheer hatred for the opposing party–to an extent where you have no remorse, no regret, nothing at all because you don’t see them as “one of you.” This is effectively demeaning humans. Another possible reason for the rise in violence is hateful rhetoric from political figures. Political leaders saying many hateful and dehumanizing things to opponents is not only immoral, it’s just immature. For example, if you were to be in a political position of authority and you say the person you are running against is a liar and needs to be hated on, that is hateful rhetoric; this leads to your supporters following along in your dehumanizing rhetoric. Eventually both sides speak of this hatred, which fuels the fire in political violence. Lastly, one of the largest “fuel to the fire” is the internet. The online world is large and sometimes we see individuals who spread hateful, radical rhetoric. The most unfortunate thing is because the internet is so large, this rhetoric gets shared with many people, and people start normalizing radical ideas, creating a space where millions of people can willingly excuse or even support political violence.

How can we solve it?

We need a solution. A very effective solution is talking things out. Things like productive arguments can help reinforce safe and healthy debates. According to Sami’s “Arguing is Good for Friendship,” a past thebirdonfire.org post, having a productive argument is having an open mind. It doesn’t mean you have to completely agree with the person you are talking to, but at least understanding an issue will allow you to take things in without hatred and fury. Even if someone has something hateful to say to you, understand that he or she needs to learn how to argue productively. And so, you can teach them in a respectful way. Do not resort to political violence. “When you stop talking, that’s when you get violence,” said late activist Charlie Kirk. When we stop having productive debates or arguments, we stop listening to each other.

Graph comes from a GOVFACTS article from September 11, 2025: “Is Political Violence Rising in America?” (govfacts.org)

How Pets Affect Your Mental Health

October 9, 2025 by szachik@pvs.org 2 Comments

By Middle-School Blogger Sarah Alnabelsi

Think of your favorite furry, scaly, or feathered friend. What seems so small actually means more to you than you think. A UC Davis Health article points out several mental health benefits that stem from pets: they “help reduce stress and anxiety, ease feelings of loneliness, provide unconditional love and support, create a calming presence, give a sense of purpose for pet parents.” In the moment, your best friend might be perceived as just a playmate–just a pet you have to feed and play with; in reality, they mean a lot more. They contribute to your mental health.

Animals and your mental wellness–this is what I found out:

The effects of pets on mental health–

They decrease your stress and anxiety.

The American Psychology Association says that in 2024, 70% of teens faced anxiety and depression in the US. That’s a high percentage, especially among teenagers and young adults. With a pet’s companionship and reassurance, you can feel happier, and therefore less anxious. For example, you feel better when your cat purrs. Inspira Health Network says that just listening to a purring cat can lower your blood pressure. It releases oxytocin, a hormone that promotes happiness and reduces stress (inspirahealthnetwork.org). The same happens when we see our dogs wagging their tails. This also releases oxytocin, which in turn makes you happier.

Your pet makes you feel less lonely.

Loneliness is something usually everyone will experience in their lifetime–whether it’s from lost friendships, being alone, or a move to a new place. Loneliness has become so normalized, but pets can alleviate this feeling. In a study conducted by Mental Health America, 85% of people questioned in a national survey agree that pets can reduce loneliness. With pets, people feel more connected and supported; therefore, they feel less lonely.

Pets bring love and support.

Having a companion that supports you no matter what is something that everybody should have. You can’t get into arguments with pets, which is something that makes them so much greater. Given you treat them with respect, they will always love you the same. My cat Papaya has her highs and lows. However, even when I leave her home all alone, she’s always happy to see me coming back from school. Leaving might be perceived as betrayal, yet my cat responds to me with nothing but unconditional love.

Sarah posed Papaya for a photo shoot for The Bird on Fire. Papaya came into Sarah’s life three months ago. While Papaya lives with the whole Alnabelsi family, Sarah says Papaya is closest to her.

Pets create a calming presence.

While pets have their burst of energy or periods of time where you can’t seem to catch a break from their zoomies, a big percentage of the time they are either sleeping or not doing anything at all. With their calm presence, with them sitting or lying beside you, you are more eased and relaxed. For instance, think of coming back home from a long day of school. You’d want something calm to relax beside when you get home, and your pet does exactly that.

Animals give pet parents a purpose.

Having pets requires lots of care and attention. Some might think that this much work is bad; however, having a sense of purpose is something that helps people immensely when it comes to mental health. The American Psychiatric Association says that people with a great purpose in life were facing less stress. Having this feeling that someone–your pet–relies on you, provides a reason for someone to get up, even when they don’t want to. Knowing that your pet needs you for food, water, basically to live, is something that people find very helpful for their mental stability, physical agility, and emotional engagement.

While it’s true that their time with us is limited, the impact they have on you is more impactful than the inevitable loss–which is true for most relationships. You might have not even known it, but your pet’s influence on your life is something that can brighten up your day, or for others might even be their will to live.

“Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened.”
Anatole France

Sources:

How to Become The Alpha 101

September 16, 2025 by szachik@pvs.org 7 Comments

The Bird on Fire blog staff voted to explore Power and Leadership as their second theme. Soleil and Sarah took a balanced, high-road approach. Now, it’s time for darker, more scheming, . . . more Machiavellian perspectives.

By Middle-School Alpha, Morgan Richardson

Alphas get a bad rap. But, somebody has to lead the way. There are alphas all throughout the natural world and in just about every group gathering. This is my step-by-step guide to becoming the infamous alpha. As an experienced alpha, I know the craft well. I’ve practiced on friends, family members, classmates, dogs and cats. I believe that everyone should be able to lead when called upon to be The Alpha.

Step One: Bark or meow to allow other species to know you’re the Alpha. You need to assert dominance loudly.

Step Two: After you’ve claimed your domain, deliver a continued sassy attitude to let others know you are the one-and-only Alpha and you’re here to stay. For instance, you could meddle with the property of those you want to dominate: rip their pencils in half, and “acquire” their lip tints. Another option, laugh at side characters incessantly until they run away.

Step Three: Optional, but you can urinate on the floor to let people know you own this realm. It works with dogs and cats and some say jellyfish.

Step Four: Never act scared around bigger alphas, even when you’re cornered. Always make sure you don’t appear inferior. Puff yourself out; wear claws; wear your attitude BIG.

Step Five: Call people out on little things–like them stealing your favorite chew toy . . . or best friend.

Step Six: When necessary, don’t be afraid to lie.

Step Seven: Drop throwaway ambiguous lines to keep the less dominant on their toes. Saying “six seven” can mean various things, but since it’s nonsensical, it mostly shows power and dominance and sometimes produces advantageous confusion.

Step Eight: If necessary, step outside your kindness; for example, you can become like Bluey or Peppa Pig. Peppa Pig is mean to her friend Suzy Sheep; Bluey is a dog (and dogs are always alpha), and she is a sassy big sister.

Step Nine: Ignore people; especially side submissive characters. Side characters are irrelevant compared to you. Do we mourn the Star Trek “away teams” we know little about when they’re lost in space? No. Who was King Henry VIII’s brother? We don’t care. Who dated Travis Kelce in high school? Whatever.

Step Ten: Start your villain arc: throw trashcans; wear a shock collar (‘cause shocks intimidatingly don’t faze you); start wearing a black cape. Consider joining Nevan’s Villain Club on campus.

Note: thebirdonfire.org does not support the throwing of trashcans. Morgan’s on her own here.

Step Eleven: Remember: You are the main character and the alpha; if this guide does not work, bark until people listen.

Step Twelve: I am the Lorax, Guardian of the Forest, and I say, in the words of The Lorax movie, “LET IT GROW LET IT GROW you can’t reap what you don’t sow plant [The Alpha] seed . . . I say LET IT GROWWWW.”

Source: The Lorax (film) song:chrome-extension://ehnniokiiebpinnfegpkdlcamgdcaaje/block_screen.html?id=ad1169d5-65a7-4a4c-bb32-89c058fcc547

What It Takes to be a Good Leader

September 11, 2025 by szachik@pvs.org 4 Comments

By Sarah Alnabelsi, 8th Grade

Have you ever wondered, “I’ve never heard of this person, why do they have so much power?” You might think being a leader is just having authority and appearing tough, but there are many more aspects to it. The Center for Creative Leadership says being a leader requires “…integrity, self-awareness, courage, respect, compassion, and resilience.” Let’s break down these leadership qualities.

Necessities to Being a Good Leader:

Lead with integrity.

The Cambridge Dictionary defines integrity as “the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles that you refuse to change.” Being honest and standing up for what you believe in is one of the most important qualities of being a leader. For example, think of the Lorax from the movie The Lorax. The Lorax sticks to his beliefs, one in particular – no one should cut down the trees. That’s how he gets all the bar-ba-loots and animals to look up to him as their leader. If he were to switch up his beliefs and start cutting down the trees, he would be letting all his followers down; therefore, he’d be a bad leader.

Have self-awareness.

Self-awareness is when you understand yourself, including your strengths and weaknesses. If you know your strengths and weaknesses, the more effective you can be as a leader. For example, maybe you are really good at making people laugh, but get distracted easily. A self-aware leader would understand that they should focus during serious situations, while still taking advantage of making people laugh.

Demonstrate courage.

Being courageous is essential to getting your point across, especially when you’re a leader. For example, sharing a new idea or making a point on something might be scary, but a good leader would use courage to be able to speak freely with no worry.

Show respect.

Showing respect may sound simple, but it’s very important. Being a leader may require upsetting scenarios. For example, you might have a scenario where someone says something that you disagree with. It’s important to always be kind no matter what someone says; show respect. A good leader would not let someone’s words distract them and make them defensive or angry. A good leader, instead, will be mature about it and continue to be respectful and focused.

Have compassion.

Compassion in any scenario will make people see you as a good person. As a good leader, it’s important to always listen thoughtfully and compassionately to what someone has to say. You should acknowledge that it probably took lots of courage on their part to be able to say something, and, in return, you as leader should give feedback or even take action on it.

Demonstrate resilience.

Resilience, in simple words, means being able to push through challenges; not letting anything stop you from fulfilling what you want to do. This is a necessity, especially as a leader where you are met with many challenges. If you let mishaps get in the way of your leadership, it shows weakness and inability to fulfill your job. People would prefer a strong leader rather than one that gets irritated easily.

In conclusion, a good leader doesn’t just appear tough. It requires being a good person, and not letting things get to you. The Center for Creative Leadership points out that being a good leader requires “intentional effort,” meaning you can’t expect it to come naturally, you have to have an objective–being a good leader. The article also says that “…leaders are made, not born.” This means that you aren’t born with leadership, it’s a skill that you should grow with and learn.

Sources:

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/integrity

12 Essential Qualities of Effective Leadership

Arguing is Good for Friendship

August 28, 2025 by szachik@pvs.org 2 Comments

By Sami Alnabelsi

Have you ever been irritated with a friend? For instance, do you have a friend who tends to be a know-it-all or condescending? Or, maybe they’re indecisive when you need a decision. Or, maybe they have a habit of interrupting. Or, they have an opinion that differs from yours. Well, here is a simple solution. Just argue. If you talk about your issues with your friend, you are more likely to solve the issue. The only rule: have a constructive argument. Let’s talk about it.

How to argue constructively:

Productive arguments

The number one rule in having a productive argument is having an open mind. Listening doesn’t mean acceptance, but it means having the ability to understand your friends’ issues. One tip if you aren’t very open minded is to set a date to argue with your friend when you are not preoccupied with something–like meet on a weekend. According to Psychology Today, “One of the biggest mistakes when trying to talk things out is coming into arguments with raw emotions and not actually taking into account what your friend is saying.” Having a free schedule that day will allow your brain to be clear of any worries, and you can focus on the issues between you and your friend.

Having a good mindset

Another great tip is having the mindset that talking things out is not really a threat but more of an action that can help you and your friend get even closer. Arguing might feel nerve wracking at first, but in the end, it will all be worth it. Some of you might go into arguments with your mind fixated on what it will result in. You should be flexible when you go through these arguments and realize that you’re understanding someone else’s perspective.

Stand your ground

While you should be open minded, you have to make sure you stand your ground. Sometimes in friendships, there might be someone who is the “know-it-all” and you can’t just agree with them on everything. Don’t be afraid to tell your side of the story.

Remember no one is perfect

You must understand that not a single human being is perfect, and while your friend may bring up instances where you should change, it doesn’t mean you MUST change. It’s also vice versa; if you tell your friend something you dislike, you can’t expect them to change. It may take time or won’t even happen at all.

In conclusion, having arguments can be very beneficial if they are taken seriously and conducted in a respectful and constructive manner. This will result in an even closer bond with your friend as you get to understand their side of the story.

Which version of Sarah and Morgan is more aligned with Sami’s advice on “How to Argue with a Friend”?

Sources:

https://www.wsj.com/health/wellness/friend-fight-relationships-838e36d5

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/conflict-matters/201802/the-benefits-of-arguing

Who Better to Talk about Friendship than Your Teammate?

August 22, 2025 by szachik@pvs.org Leave a Comment

By Soleil Antle

When writing about friendship advice, Soleil thought who better to ask than her gymnastics teammates, a group of teenage girls as thick as thieves. These girls train countless hours in the gym, being each others’ biggest supporters and helping each other with any and every task. But, what advice do they have themselves about building a strong friendship?

Question: What advice do you have for building strong friendships?

——————————————————————————————-

Ava P:

“The advice I have is to always speak honestly; the best thing you can do is tell the truth. Also make sure you are there to support and listen to the other person as much as possible. But most importantly be honest. It’s also good to make sure you keep in contact with them. You don’t have to see someone everyday, you can text or call your friend as long as you have a way to communicate.”

————————————————————————————————————————–

Quinn:

“Respect people for who they are and don’t judge them for doing things differently than you do. To build a strong friendship with someone you would want to feel comfortable being yourself when you are with them. For me especially when I’m with my teammates at gymnastics I feel comfortable as I know we all respect each other for who we are, even if we have different opinions on things.

Even though some of my teammates are a lower [gymnastics] level than me, I still choose to treat them with the same respect as someone in my own level. Whether you’re in level 4 or 10 it doesn’t impact the person you are, friendship shouldn’t be defined by your status.”

———————————————————————————————————————–

Ava I:

“A strong friendship is built on kindness, honesty, and trust–being there for your friend, listening when they need to talk, and making time to have fun together. When both people care and put in the effort, the friendship grows stronger.”

———————————————————————————————————————

Lindsay:

“My advice on being in a strong friendship is to be honest and be yourself. Don’t change who you are so that you can have a strong friendship and pretend you like things the other person likes to have a stronger bond. Be true to yourself and who you are. Be open and honest about how you feel. A friendship is stronger if you are open and honest with the other person about how you are feeling. It is always easier to talk things out than to be dishonest and potentially hurt the friendship and bond you have created.”

————————————————————————————————————————

Zoe:

“A piece of advice I have for building strong relationships is to show empathy. Showing up for someone and trying to understand their situation is something only a true friend would do and helps create a strong friendship. This creates a strong friendship because it proves that even in tough times you know that you have each other’s backs. A strong friendship is built through consistency and trust. Continuing to show up for your friends time and time gains their trust. If your friends know you are there for them, and can trust you, that is a real, genuine and strong relationship.”

When you have a team as strong as this one, so well connected with a genuine bond, it shows that these little things matter. Friendship isn’t about the title: it’s about being each other’s biggest support, comfort, and joy. Every single one of these girls loves each other, and it’s evident as they are always willing to listen or help one another in a difficult time. I don’t know how many times these girls have given me pep talks or helped me with a skill, but I do know our friendships are a forever bond that’s rare to have. — Soleil

Fellow gymnasts and Soleil at a team dinner exchanging Secret Santa gifts.

Lindsay and Soleil on a paddleboarding excursion after practice.

Advice on Being a Good Friend

February 13, 2025 by szachik@pvs.org 2 Comments

By Middle-School Blogger Calum Webster

As a 12 year old in middle school, I have had lots of friendships. Over the years, I have also acquired first-hand experience on how to be a good friend from my own friendships.

Advice #1: Don’t interrupt your friends when they are talking.

A very important step in a friendship is not interrupting them when they are talking. It shows respect when you are listening, and you can give feedback, but you should wait till they have finished talking before you start. You don’t have to like what they are talking about, but still stay interested in what they are saying.

Advice #2: You don’t always have to like the same things, and you can have your opinions.

When you guys are talking or texting, it doesn’t matter what you are doing. You don’t have to like what they are talking about or what sport they play. You have to accept they can like what they like, and you can like what you want, too. Everybody has their own opinions, and that’s okay. Also, don’t get in a lot of fights. It is normal to get in one or two. There are many ways you can get in fights. But, when you fight over who’s right or who’s wrong, you have to accept that you can be wrong sometimes.

Advice #3: Be supportive of your friend in what they decide to do, but also don’t let them do something bad.

You have to be supportive of your friend and cheer them on in what they are doing. But you also have to be careful of what you cheer them on for; perhaps don’t cheer them on if they are doing something bad. You can help your friends out in many ways, like if they are going on a long road trip with you and you are done packing, you can help them pack. Another way you can help your friend out is if they are in a tough time; it won’t hurt to help them when they are having a bad day. Also a real friend should make you feel comfortable and lift you up. A friend should not make you feel uncomfortable; they should make you happy to be their friend.

Advice #4: You should be in a real friendship because you like them as a person, not because you want something.

You should not be in a friendship with someone because they are popular or have money. You should be their friend for who they are. It is important to have a strong friendship because you like them as a person.

So, there you have it: be “real” in your friendship; be supportive; still, be an individual; and never interrupt.