–by senior Blog Correspondent Henry Huang
Samuel Johnson, a genius of the English language, wrote the classic A Dictionary of the English Language in 1755. This widely-praised, linguistic-shifting, perhaps antiquated, dictionary has some very funny definitions. It is one of the earliest and most important English dictionaries. Here are some witty, amusing entries:
Oats. n.s. [aten, Saxon.] A grain, which in England is generally given to horses, but in Scotland supports the people. (Samuel Johnson was NOT a fan of the Scottish.)
Sonnet. n.s. [sonnet, French; sonnetto, Italian.] A short poem consisting of fourteen lines, of which the rhymes are adjusted by a particular rule. It is not very suitable to the English language, and has not been used by any man of eminence since Milton.
Lexicógrapher. n.s. [λεξικὸν and γράφω; lexicographe, French.] A writer of dictionaries; a harmless drudge, that busies himself in tracing the original, and detailing the signification of words.
Patron. n.s. [patron, Fr. patronus, Latin.] One who countenances, supports or protects. Commonly a wretch who supports with insolence, and is paid with flattery.
Reading these witticisms inspires me to write some of my own dictionary definitions:
A Dictionary of the English Language According to Henry:
Political Science: A study of politics, a study considered to be a modern-day dragon-killing skill
Life: A process from toothless to toothless.
Football (American): A sport that doesn’t necessarily need feet to play
Americans: A group of people who live in the United States. Sometimes a group considered annoying, loud, arrogant, and monolingual!
What contemporary English words would you like to RE-define?
some food, we drove to the train tracks. As soon as we dropped the tailgate, hungry villagers appeared out of nowhere. We sliced turkey, dished potatoes, and handed out oranges. At first it was awkward; I had never done anything like this before. I couldn’t understand them; they couldn’t understand me. One by one the Mexican children smiled; I smiled back. Later, I surprised myself by playing football in the desert.
1+1 = 2, my math teacher confirmed, with an indisputable tone, “That’s truth. Just remember it.” I was once scolded by my teacher because my score held back the overall GPA of my class. As we entered upper grades, the academic workload became increasingly heavier and most of our spare time was occupied by being tutored. School was no longer the paradise I had expected, and teachers were not the angels I had hoped. Gradually, I felt like I was becoming a puppet–doing what the teachers expected me to do and believing all that the teachers said without questioning or experimenting. I even put away my interest in drawing to save time for the heavy academic burden. 1+1 must = 2! No room for argument.
Yes, I’m Chinese
–by Ashley Zhou
If you have not seen the film, turn back before it’s too late! This is not the post you are looking for. SPOILER ALERT!!!
storyteller. The Force Awakens was a beautifully directed, mediocre story. J.J. Abrams played it safe and retold Episode 4 instead of creating something new. Although I’d rather have more Star Wars than less, this movie was nothing ventured, nothing gained.”
The Second Amendment of the United States Constitution clearly articulates Americans’ rights to bear arms. If something is so clearly stated, why are there so many people who wish to infringe upon this right? Already, there are many laws in place that restrict the owning, selling, and usage of guns. For example, it is almost impossible to obtain a Concealed Weapons License in New York City, and California has many laws regulating the type of guns that you may own and the number of rounds you can keep in the gun’s magazine. Despite these laws, there are over 33,600 gun-related deaths annually in the US. Some are quick to point the finger at the NRA, and they say the problem is that there are too many guns. I completely disagree. The problem is that law-abiding citizens are restricted from carrying guns so guns fall in the hands of criminals.
ssion, then we will continue to see the death toll rise due to mass shootings.
independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government. –George Washington
order to maximize the profit. Chinese KFC’s offer not only fried-chicken wings and sandwiches but also seafood porridge, chicken wraps, puddings, corn, fried rice, and even egg tarts! China is the only country in the world where KFC makes more money than McDonald’s does, and a huge part of the reason is because of the diversity and localization.
long list of desserts including ice-cream chocolate cake, caramel brûlée, etc. Moreover, all of the Pizza Huts in China are designed as sit-down restaurants. They also have servers at the door to lead people to different tables and booths and waiters for each table. Moreover, the Pizza Huts in China offer a special packet for little kids. In this packet, kids get to go to Pizza Hut with their friends on their birthday and learn how to make pizzas. The Pizza Hut staff also arrange games for kids at their birthday parties.
