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WNBA Info Guide

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By Holden Hartle, Sports-Blogger

If any of you are like me, a diehard NBA fan, you know that the WNBA has been in sports talks recently. Within the last year, many of WNBA players have felt as if they have been deserving of more respect as they are playing at the same level as NBA players. There is also the controversy that they are paid a small fraction of the percentage that NBA players are paid. In my attempt to give more recognition to these talented ladies, I have been watching the WNBA playoffs (which are really exciting), and in an attempt to get more people to watch this amazing sport, this is an intro guide.

General Knowledge and How the WNBA is Different From the NBA

The WNBA, or Women’s National Basketball Association, has 12 teams (a small amount compared to the NBA’s 30 teams). This makes the WNBA a more competitive league, and it means that only the best out of the best women will get drafted as this decrease in teams means fewer draft spots.

Skylar Diggins-Smith

The other big difference that I spotted was how the playoffs work. The NBA takes the top eight teams from each conference, and the playoffs commence. The WNBA is very different. The WNBA takes the top eight teams out of the entire league and reseeds them based on record and puts them into the playoffs. I, personally, wish the NBA was like this. Currently in the NBA, the Western Conference is stacked, with the Golden State Warriors and the Houston Rockets leading that charge. If the WNBA playoffs worked how the NBA playoffs do, we wouldn’t get to see Skylar Diggins-Smith, who has become a leader of WNBA activism, or Liz Cambage, who broke the WNBA single-game scoring record. In the NBA playoff system, these players would just have to try their luck next season. Furthermore, the first round is single elimination, while the semifinals and finals are a best of 5 series.

This brings me to a point that I mentioned earlier, the WNBA draft. Recently the WNBA draft lottery was announced, and the Las Vegas Aces got the first pick. With fewer teams, but an equal amount of talent coming out of college, only the best players in the entire country are competing in the WNBA.

A Brief Description of The Top or Most Promising Teams

If you want to join the WNBA following, but you don’t know which team to support. Well, here is a brief description of each team going into the 2019 season.

Atlanta Dream

The Dream ended the regular season at the top of the Eastern Conference and as the second best team in the league. They barely topped the Washington Mystics after Atlanta’s Alex Bentley torched them with her shooting.

Chicago Sky

Though the Sky were fourth in their conference, they were in the bottom half in the league in terms of their record. They are led by the dynamic duo of Courtney Vandersloot and Allie Quigley. Quigley is a back-to-back three-point competition champion, while Vandersloot is an amazing passer. With their lottery pick, the future in Chicago is bright.

Connecticut Sun

The Sun were third in the Eastern Conference and made the playoffs but were outmatched by the veteran team from Arizona, the Phoenix Mercury. The thing that is amazing about the Sun is that they don’t have one player that leads their team. Their top six players all averaged double digits, making a very well rounded team.

Washington Mystics

Elena Delle Donne

The Mystics are the third best team by record and have former MVP Elena Delle Donne on their team. Though she went down with a scary injury in game two of the semifinals on the 28th, she is currently playing in the championship series. They are legitimate contenders to win the championship this year if Delle Donne’s injury isn’t serious.

Dallas Wings

The Wings are arguably the most exciting team this year. With Skylar Diggins-Smith and Liz Cambage taking the WNBA world by storm, many had high hopes for them this postseason. Although they were eliminated in the first round, they could very well be contenders next season.

Las Vegas Aces

The Aces have one of the brightest futures. They have A’ja Wilson, a rookie who was also an all-star this season. Not only that, but they have the first pick in the upcoming draft. They have the chance at building a strong young core to lead them to a championship.

Los Angeles Sparks

The Sparks were the highlight of the league a few years ago, and are still relevant in the WNBA. Candace Parker, though she has fallen short in this year’s playoffs, is a bonafide star. The Sparks have been a consistently good team for a very long time.

Minnesota Lynx

Liz Cambage guarding Maya Moore

The Lynx have been led by Maya Moore for what seems like forever. An arguable GOAT of the WNBA, Moore and Sylvia Fowles have done well this season, but were eliminated early in the playoffs.

Phoenix Mercury

The Mercury are my favorite team in the playoffs currently. Led by the dominant post player Brittney Griner and the Magic Johnson-esque Diana Taurasi. The last game I watched, the Mercury almost made a spectacular comeback against the stacked Storm. A definite underdog within the league.

Seattle Storm

A powerhouse in the league, the Storm have the 2018 MVP Breanna Stewart on their team. Not only that, but they have veteran Sue Bird who might as well be related to Larry Bird. And beyond that they have an amazing young bench. All of this is enough for the best team in the league, and maybe the best for the next few years.

 

Brittney Griner, from the Phoenix Mercury

In Conclusion

Yes, not everyone in the WNBA can dunk, which may be the cause of why it is not as popular as the NBA, but this is an exciting sport. Another way to look at it is, Look at all the things these women can do without being able to dunk.  Diana Taurasi and Sue Bird are more exciting passers than most point guards in the NBA, and Alex Bentley and Allie Quigley are arguably better shooters than their NBA counterparts. All in all, I am excited to see how the WNBA Finals turn out and even more excited to see what the next season has to offer. Catch the Finals on ESPN2 tonight, Wednesday, September 12.

Editor: Bella Bier

Stranger Than Fiction

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By Reddit Investigator Brennan Nick

Most people know what The Onion is. It is a “news” source that posts hilariously fictional articles on ridiculous subjects. However, you do not need to look to fiction to laugh at stories that may seem as if they’re fake. Below are some ecstatically funny headlines that were found in actual news sources:

 

1. “Restaurant arms diners with squirt guns to ward off… seagulls”

Source: The Takeout

2. “Farmer accused of shooting murder blames gunfire on eggplant”

Source: 9news

3. “Scientists plan DNA hunt for Loch Ness monster next month”

Source: Reuters

4. “Man rescued from Taliban didn’t believe Donald Trump was President”

Source: Newsweek

5. “Uber’s search for a female CEO has been narrowed down to 3 men”

Source: The Denver Post

6. “Passenger turned away from two flights after wearing 10 layers of clothing to avoid luggage fee”

Source: The Telegraph

7. “UPS loses Family’s $846K Inheritance, Offers to Refund $32 Shipping Fee”

Source: Newsweek

8. “Justin Bieber banned from China in order to ‘purify’ nation”

Source: The Telegraph

9. “NPR tweets the Declaration of Independence, and people freak out about a ‘revolution’”

Source: The Kansas City Star

10. “Man who mowed lawn with tornado behind him says he ‘was keeping an eye on it.’”

Source: Times Colonist

11. “Ferry McFerryface to be name of new Sydney ferry after public vote”

Source: ABC News

12. “Alt-Right White Supremacists Claim Papa John’s as Official Pizza”

Source: Newsweek

13. “White supremacists taking DNA tests sad to discover they’re not 100% white”

Source: Global News

14. “Palestinian judge bans divorce during Ramadan because ‘people make hasty decisions when they’re hungry’”

Source: Independent

15. “After 4th DWI, man argues legal limit discriminates against alcoholics”

Source: Statesman

16. “Argentinian officers fired after claiming mice ate half a ton of missing marijuana”

Source: The Guardian

17. “‘Nobody kill anybody’: Murder-free weekend urged in Baltimore”

Source: The Baltimore Sun

18. “Texas judge interrupts jury, says God told him defendant is not guilty”

Source: Statesman

19. “Saudi Arabia accidentally prints textbook showing Yoda sitting next to the king”

Source: The Telegraph

20. “‘Japan’s slowest roller coaster’” derails, passengers don’t notice”

Source: Sora News 24

 

Editor: AJ Patencio

Palm Valley School’s Junior State of America 2018-2019 Cabinet

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By Harlow Berny

Hello, fellow Palm Valley Students! On May 7, the PVS JSA chapter voted on the cabinet members for next school year. The voting took place in the student lounge during lunch, and any member of JSA who had previously attended at least one meeting was allowed to run and/or vote. The winners of the election were Hannah Hall as President, Elizabeth Shay as Vice President, Caroline Scheil as Secretary, Jake Soderman as Treasurer, and Marianne Capetz as Sergeant at Arms. They will be replacing this year’s cabinet of Chloe Sweeney as President, Jordan Dinnerman as Vice President, Brennan Nick as Secretary, Oliver Kaufmann as Treasurer, and Peter Kadel as Sergeant at Arms.

Editor: Brennan Nick

Destress your Distress

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By Claire Jenkins

 

Gentle reminders to take care of yourself and de-stress from the tests–AP’s and Semester Assessments. Here are some tips!

 

Pet a cat, for you feline lovers.

Pet a dog, for you canine lovers.

Ride a horse, for you equine lovers.

Eat some junk food, for you calorie lovers.

Drink some tea, for you herbal lovers.

Listen to some music, for you rhythm lovers.

Go on a hike, for you nature lovers.

Light some candles, for you scent lovers.

Play some video games, for you technology lovers.

Take a nap, for you sleep lovers.

Watch a movie, for you cinema lovers.

Take a deep breath, for you oxygen lovers.

 

Editor: Renée Vazquez

A Review of The Palm Valley Middle School Drama Department’s Alice in Wonderland, Jr.

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By Leo Milmet, Theatre Critic*

 

Grade: B

I don’t know what to think about the Palm Valley Middle School Drama Department’s production of Alice in Wonderland, Jr. If the play’s brilliant directors, Mr. Craig Gahnz, Ms. Kim Phillips, and the legendary Mr. Ken Sarkis, had shown me the script (without any of the great lines added by Mr. Sarkis), I would have politely asked if the person who wrote the script had seen a play before. Alice in Wonderland, Jr., as a script, is a mess.

 

I had seen half of the play already and wasn’t much of a fan of the writing, so I went in the theatre with the review half-written in my head. But, after seeing the whole show, I no longer thought of writing scathing comments about the show (aside from the writing). Mr. Sarkis, Mr. Gahnz, and Ms. Phillips are amazing. They have taken a simplistic script and mostly mediocre musical score and somehow, someway, turned these elements into a decent production. How? To start with, the choreography is excellent. Ms. Phillips has a true artist’s eye for dance, and here she has created some of her most spectacularly choreographed numbers. Her big, showy numbers work as pure energy and spectacle, further enhanced by the students’ real love of theatre. The staging even manages to ground the nonsensical plot.

 

The play was also technically brilliant. The sets, lighting, costumes, hair, and makeup are aesthetically pleasing. When I walked into the theatre, I saw the majestic black-and-white of the whole stage, and when all of the colorful costumes, hair, and makeup (all incredibly designed, by the way) appear, the juxtaposition feels like…well, it feels like Wonderland. The lighting is also visually pleasing which includes some brilliant glow-in-the-dark moments. However, maybe more could’ve been done to vary and accentuate the lighting to truly make the audience feel like they were in a crazy Wonderland.

 

The play’s middle-school cast does the job well, and many of its members do it exceptionally well. Kaiya Treash, Mia Alexander, and Kanan Levy make for amazing Alice’s. They’re the only actors in the cast tasked with playing a character that is even a little more than just a silly caricature, and they do it well. I got a genuine sense of Alice’s childlike giddiness and naiveté. Also notable are Carter Keenan as the hilarious and adorable King of Hearts, and Henry Swenning, whose Mad Hatter kept me entertained whenever he was on stage. However, some small aspects of the production were just a tiny bit unpolished–some stumbles could have been smoothed out, but no matter — the actors are quite talented, and their energy is through the roof. In fact, the pure theatrical energy of the cast is what saves this show from mediocrity, almost as much as the directing of the actors.

 

The play is very “Sarkissian.” The second act of Alice in Wonderland, Jr. returned to the beautiful wonkiness of Mr. Sarkis’s self-written plays such as Home Sweet Homer and Shakespeare at Starlucks. The spectacular show-stopper in the beginning of the second act that I’m not likely to forget anytime soon, “Zip-a-dee-doo-dah,” was a nostalgic blend of new-age spectacle and a true Sarkis production.

 

My one major complaint is that I wish the cast had gotten more of a chance to play legitimately challenging roles. With the play’s length being around an hour and a half (including intermission), only a few people even get to have the experience of becoming a character. Every character (maybe even Alice) is a caricature, and not much can be done about it. The issue stems from the choice of material which, I’m afraid, is the major weak point. These “Jr.” shows that the directors get from Music Theater International such as Into The Woods, Jr. and Alice In Wonderland, Jr. are, in my experience, short, terribly written, spectacle-based musicals. But this one also lacks good roles for the actors which is why I cannot understand why this play was chosen. This play does not befit these great middle-school actors, and it certainly does not befit the play’s three brilliant directors.

 

So, what is my overall recommendation? I give this musical a definite thumbs-up, with the writing and lack of good roles being my only reservations. The play is entertaining; it’s short, and I think most people liked it even more than myself. Regardless of the flaws, I cannot overstate the great combination of the amazing energy of the cast and the definite skill of the directors. So, I hope you saw it, especially if you have small kids. You probably had a wonderful time.

 

Editor: Brennan Nick

*The views of critic Milmet are his own and don’t represent the views of thebirdonfire.org as an institution.

Fly Me to the Prom: I PROMise You’ll Love It

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Public Service Announcement by Brennan Nick, Blogger and ASB Member

Hey, Guys! As most of you already know, the Palm Valley School Prom is coming up on Saturday, May 26th. This year, prom is going to be better than ever! It’s going to take place at the Palm Springs Air Museum, and the theme is “Fly Me to the Moon.” Dessert will be served at the dance, including a candy bar and chocolate fountain. Now, if you’re wondering if you can bring a date or friend from outside of this school, you’re in luck because guests are allowed to come and enjoy our prom. Take note: guests must be vetted and approved by Ms. Steinman before May 18th. Also, please be sure to buy your tickets as soon as possible! Tickets are being sold before school and during lunch. Until Friday, May 18th, the tickets are $55 for a single and $90 for a pair. The week before prom (Monday, May 21st, to Friday, May 25th) the prices are $60 for a single and $100 for a pair. If you wait until the last minute, tickets sold at the door are $65 for a single and $110 for a pair. Thank you, and I hope to see you all there to enjoy a magical night.

 

Editor: Bella Bier

Prom!

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By Shelby Armor

The end of the year is fast approaching, which means so is Prom! This year our Prom is being held at the Palm Springs Air Museum with the theme of “Fly Me To The Moon.” We’ll be spending the evening among the stars in the sky, as Prom will be surrounded by airplanes! There will be dancing, desserts, a photo booth, a chocolate fountain, and more! May 26th is the date, and ASB will be selling tickets in the courtyard the second and third weeks of May ($55 for a single, $90 for a couple), so start getting excited for an unforgettable night!!

Editor: Leo Milmet

Denim Day

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By Claire Jenkins

Today, April 25th, Peace Over Violence has organized a Denim Day in honor of Sexual Violence Awareness Month. This campaign was ignited by a ruling made in a Supreme Court in Italy, 1999. This ruling, known to Italian lawmakers as “denim defense” or “jeans alibi,” suggested that a woman cannot be raped if she is wearing jeans due to the idea that “they are impossible to remove unless she helps,” which, in the eyes of the court, suggests consent. This ruling brought on an even angrier debate about how judges (and societies) should view sexual assault and rape.    

The third division of the Supreme Court of Appeals in Rome released a statement from a November ruling that overturned a 34-month sentence for rape in Italy. They stated that ”jeans cannot be removed easily and certainly it is impossible to pull them off if the victim is fighting against her attacker with all her force.” This suggests that the victim was not fighting hard enough and takes the attention away from the wrongdoings of the attacker. This is known as victim-shaming. It is the same type of thought process as “Well, what was she wearing?” or “Her skirt was too short.” This type of mindset is dangerous.

After this ruling, women lawmakers across Italy showed their support for this victim and their resentment towards this ruling by going on a “jeans strike.” They said they will wear jeans to Parliament until the decision is changed. On April 25th we carry on this “jeans strike,” and the students of Palm Valley wear jeans after donating one dollar to Peace Over Violence. Students also signed a pair of jeans in solidarity with victims of sexual assault around the world.

25th of April: We wear jeans to show our support.

Editor: Bella Bier

GSA Day of Silence

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By Shelby Armor

On Friday, April 27, our school’s GSA (Gender and Sexuality Acceptance Club) is hosting a Day of Silence. This is an annual thing hosted by GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network), a K-12 organization that seeks to give greater inclusion to LGBT+ students. Day of Silence is a day to recognize bullying (specifically, bullying of LGBT+ people). The way our school is carrying this out is by keeping the silence through Friday morning and breaking it at lunch time to present poetry. The poetry will be in the Student Lounge at lunch, and the poems will be regarding LGBT+ bullying. Everyone is encouraged to bring or recite poetry–original or found. And, if you found an amazing poem, but don’t feel quite comfortable presenting it, fear not. If you don’t feel comfortable presenting something, you don’t have to. You can show a video or have someone else read. The point of the day is to just get poetry out there and respect the cause. The National Day of Silence is a day to get everyone together to realize the problem of LGBT+ bullying throughout schools all over the country.

Editor: Leo Milmet

Portable Poem Day

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By Leo Milmet

As many PVS students already know, on Tuesday, April 24, Palm Valley will be celebrating Portable Poetry Day. Essentially, the students will celebrate by wearing a word on themselves in some way. Below is Mr. Griffin’s release for Portable Poetry Day, where you can learn all about how we’re celebrating Portable Poetry Day at PVS.

If you need a couple of ideas for words, check below the poster for a few interesting words that might just tickle your fancy.

National Poetry Week

TUESDAY, APRIL 24

PORTABLE POETRY DAY

RELEASE THE MAGIC OF WORDS!

BE THE POEM YOU ARE!

Instructions:

  1. COME UP WITH YOUR MOST FANTABULOUSLY EXPRESSIVE WORD. ADJECTIVE, NOUN, ADVERB, VERB–WHATEVER. THIS WILL BE YOUR WORD FOR THE DAY.
  2. ON TUESDAY, APRIL 24-–WEAR IT PORTABLY SOMEWHERE ON YOUR SELF:
  • PINNED OR TAPED TO YOUR SHIRT, FRONT OR BACK
  • ON YOUR SHOE, ON YOUR SOCK
  • ON YOUR PANTS, ON YOUR SKIRT
  • ON YOUR HAT, IN YOUR HAIR
  • ON YOUR FACE, ON YOUR NOSE, ON YOUR EAR
  • THINK AHEAD AND HAVE IT PRINTED ON A T-SHIRT

(Dress code is still in force, but you may wear any alternate clothing that is directly related to your WORD: a hat, a scarf, a shirt, etc.)

  1. ON TUESDAY:  ALL THROUGH THE MORNING, PUT YOURSELF TOGETHER WITH CLASSMATES & FRIENDS & TEACHERS TO FORM WILDLY IMAGINATIVE POEMS THAT ARE PORTABLE!
  2. AT LUNCH IN MR. GRIFFIN’S ROOM, WORDS AND POEMS WILL BE VOTED ON AND PRIZES WILL BE AWARDED:
  • MOST HILARIOUS WORD
  • MOST ATTRACTIVE WORD
  • MOST EXOTIC (UNUSUAL) WORD
  • MOST MEANINGFUL COMBO
  • MOST SURPRISING COMBO
  • 2018’s MOST PORTABLY FANTASTIC POEM

Some of our favorite words here in Blog Class:

  • Orwellian
  • Vertebrate
  • Coniferous
  • Crepuscular
  • Antidisestablishmentarianism
  • Astroturfing  

Editor: AJ Patencio