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Student-Led Conferences Are Dumb: A Luke Rant

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Student-Led Conferences are scheduled for Monday, November 7. Luke has lived through several of these bi-annual conferences. And, he has an opinion about them . . .

By Junior Luke Sonderman

This is going to sound like a bit of a rant, but hear me out. I think that the Palm Valley student-led conferences do no good for most students, and there isn’t much of a reason to have them in place. Let me explain.

The Problem

End results are all that matter. Who cares how you get there? As long as you produce solid end results there is no reason for parents to stay updated on their child’s academic progress. Don’t taste the dish before you cut the onions. Don’t eat the burger before you cook the meat. Don’t fry the eggs before you crack them. Don’t drink the milk right from the cow. Don’t cook the chicken before you pluck the feathers. Anywho, students read off of a script that asks for pieces of work that students are proud of. Hold up… why do parents need to see what their kid is proud of at a conference? Students can show their parents work they’re proud of at any time. If they’re really proud of it, then they shouldn’t need a script to get them to show their parents. 

Also, student-led conferences should really only be about what needs improvement. If I’m getting a 4.5 GPA, then why should my parents have to leave work to come to a conference about my progress? That’s what PROGRESS reports are for. 

Honestly, I feel kinda bad for the teachers. Imagine having to sit at school all day talking to parents of High Honor Roll students on what they need to do to improve. Just take your A+ and be happy with it. 

The Solution

I think that student-led conferences should only be held for students that are in significant need of academic improvement. Maybe a better solution would be to have a set GPA threshold that determined which students are in need of a conference, or advisors could decide which students really needed a group conference with the teacher and parents. 

Students prepare for the Student-Led Conference where the discuss their classes, their academic strengths, and their challenges.

I mean when everything is said and done, I am cool with the day off of school. If I have to spend a half hour of my day talking about what I need to do to improve my academic performance then so be it. 

The Case for Poetry Out Loud

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By Junior Indy Behr

It’s that time of year when PVS students wander the halls mumbling lines of verse under their breath. It’s time, again, for the annual Palm Valley School Poetry Recitation–something we’ve done at PVS for fifty years. Parents have told me Poetry Recitation Finals are their favorite PVS assemblies. And, English teachers seem convinced the world is a better place with poetry in it. Students, however, don’t . . . always respond with joy at the prospect of reciting poetry before crowds. Indy Behr argues poetry reciting is good for us–kind of like taking your vitamins.

Blog Advisor Zachik

Recently, Alyna Llapitan authored an article, “An Ick I’ve Had,” advocating for changes to Palm Valley’s annual Poetry Recitation Competition–a competition that, in the Upper School, segues into the national Poetry Out Loud competition. Personally, I enjoy this annual tradition, and I also think it offers valuable learning opportunities for students. 

Poetry Out Loud is a national poetry recitation competition that occurs annually. About ten years ago, Palm Valley melded its 50-year-old Poetry Recitation with national Poetry Out Loud standards. While students in nearly all grades still participate in Palm Valley’s Poetry Recitation, in the Upper-School English classes, students pick primarily poems from the Poetry Out Loud anthology. Typically, guest judges are brought into classes for one day. They choose 2-3 winners per each class, depending on class size. Those winners move on to the Upper-School finals. 

I think that Poetry Out Loud is great because it teaches students two very valuable things that will be useful throughout their lives. Firstly, it teaches students how to speak with confidence. I understand that some people really dislike speaking in front of others, and I have had that fear myself, but if you go through high school without attempting to combat this, you will face many hurdles in your career. Speaking with confidence is a skill that is crucial in almost every career imaginable. Secondly, Poetry Out Loud teaches students about not just the value of poetry, but the value of literature as a whole. Though perhaps not all careers involve it, being familiar with literature and having an appreciation for it is something that will help everyone in my opinion. Cultural context and exploration can effectively be taught through these poetry recitations, and we learn about many poets as well as different types of poetry through this program.

Alyna made the point that Palm Valley should consider having students perform only in front of the judges rather than having to perform in front of their entire class. While I understand where she is coming from, I think this defeats the purpose of this competition being a way for students to feel more comfortable performing in front of several people. When you have to present a plan to your office at a job later in your life, you will be doing it in front of thirty people, not three. She is correct that in 9th grade we opted for performing solely for judges; however, this was due to the pandemic, and this is the reason we reverted to the original system the following year.

Overall, I do very much sympathize with those who are against the Poetry Recitation continuing in its current form. Despite this, I still think that these opponents could still learn several valuable things from this competition, and I wholeheartedly support it remaining in place.

*Join us the the Upper-School Poetry Recitation Finals on Friday, December 9, at 2:15. Do you have middle-school recitators you want to cheer for? Join us for the Middle-School Poetry Recitation Finals on Tuesday, December 6, at 1:10.

Dino Diet

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By Junior Luke Sonderman

As our final health post, we return again to the issue of diet. Luke . . . has some concerns regarding an all-meat diet.

Hate to break it to all the vegans, but humans are supposed to eat meat. Now, if you want to hear my opinion on veganism you can read my blog article I wrote last year (“The Most Unhealthy Diet That Is Spreading Fast“). I’m here now to talk about the polar opposite of veganism: Carnivorism. 

What is a carnivore diet?

A carnivore diet is pretty much exactly what it sounds like. It is a diet that consists of only animal products and excludes all vegetables, fruits, nuts, legumes, and all other non-animal foods (health.clevelandclinic.org). To someone who loves meat, this diet may sound like heaven. But, there are lots of downsides to this diet (just like there are downsides to the vegan diet). 

Upsides to the carnivore diet

This diet consists of lots of protein and fat, but near zero carbs. 

Low carb diets are actually very popular when it comes to weight loss, but to be honest low-carb diets are just diets for people too lazy to hit the gym, jump on a Peloton, or just knock out some push ups every morning. The body transforms carbs into glucose (sugars) which can be used as energy. The thing is if you don’t use that energy (go to that spin class, do that hot yoga, hit the gym, go for a run)… then that glucose becomes fat.

The reason all of that doesn’t apply to this diet is because with the massive protein and fat diet, you can get ridiculously shredded from the amount of protein you are consuming while having energy from the fats. With no carbs, when you work out, the theory is you will keep a low body fat percentage and increase muscle mass. 

Downsides to the carnivore diet

To keep things plain and simple, this diet is considerably as deadly as Trump’s McDonald’s diet which consists of McDonald’s Egg McMuffins for breakfast, meatloaf sandwiches for lunch, and a McDonald’s order of two Big Macs, two Filet-O-Fish sandwiches for dinner (theculturetrip.com). But seriously, the amount of saturated fat in this diet is absolutely ridiculous. Lots of saturated fat equals a high cholesterol which will lead to heart disease. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it. Eating too much protein can also cause kidney issues, which is yet another reason why this diet can KILL YOU.

An Ick I’ve Had

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Alyna’s True Feelings for the Traditional PVS Poetry Recitation

At Palm Valley school, it is mandatory for grades 3rd to 12th to participate in the Poetry Recitation once a year. Basically what students have to do is memorize a poem, recite it in front of their classmates and  judges–who determine which students go on to the next round. The number of lines is different for each grade, but when you’re in high school, you most likely memorize at least 13-14 lines. This is usually the time of year where I want to disappear as I hate having to speak in front of people.

Why do I hate the Poetry Recitation so much?

It’s not about having to memorize lines as a grade, or about projecting my voice for once. It’s about reciting my poem in front of the class. I hate speaking in front of the class, whether it is a presentation or even just a few words added to a discussion. I tend to stutter or stammer over my words when I have to speak for a period of time to a group of people. I am okay with speaking in front of very few people, but with a huge group of people? No thanks. Other people have other opinions about the Poetry Recitation. They say that they hate the judging, or that they don’t like memorizing 14 lines, or that they dislike making eye contact with an audience. Some even say they like the Poetry Recitation and the opportunity to advance to the nationwide Poetry Out Loud competition (looking at you, Indy Behr).

For me, I hate being in front of the class. The class is usually silent when I recite, and I feel all eyes on me. I hate that. I feel like all the eyes are just studying me. 

Another solution?

I’m not saying that we should just not do the Poetry Recitation as I think it is a good way to have people practice enunciating words and expressing emotion. But, I feel that there can be one way we can switch it a little.

I’m fine with talking to judges, so talking to JUST judges would be nice. I remember seeing this in 9th grade when there would only be the student, the teacher, and the judges. That way, other students can focus on their poems–outside the competition room–without having to hear the person speaking.

I think that the Poetry Recitation is a nice way to get other students to practice speaking, but there is always going to be this tiny grudge in my chest that would always make me resent it. There should be options as to how to deliver a well-phrased poem.

An Opinion Penned by Junior Alyna Rei

America Needs High-Speed Rail

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An Indy Think Piece

A digital rendering of California’s proposed high-speed rail system. Source: hsr.ca.gov.

When we think of high-speed rail in America, we tend to think of Japan’s well-known bullet trains. Despite this, high-speed rail is actually increasingly common throughout the world, with multiple lines being found in Europe, Eastern and Central Asia, the Middle-East, and several other regions. Though high-speed rail does exist in America, it is much more sparse than it should be considering our country’s high GDP and infrastructure. 

The environmental impact of public transit, including trains, is a major reason why I think creating a better rail system should be one of our top priorities when it comes to improving our country’s infrastructure. The scientific consensus is that carbon dioxide emissions harm the environment, and research shows that while cars emit 371 grams of carbon dioxide per mile, trains emit only 177. This is less than half the carbon dioxide! 

Trains also take up significantly less space in cities throughout America and reduce traffic and street congestion. The traffic seen in many large cities not only has an environmental impact that affects our biosphere, it also affects peoples’ health. Children in places with higher amounts of traffic face higher rates of asthma, lung issues, and cardiovascular diseases due to the pollution caused by traffic. Additionally, more cars on the road means more car-related deaths. Pedestrian deaths are an often overlooked result of car congestion, but in 2020 over 6,000 pedestrians were killed by cars.

The reason that high-speed rail in particular is so needed is that many people will not use trains because of the inherent inconvenience of the current slow trains we primarily see in America. There are some high-speed lines in America, with Chicago being the main hub, but many states have no high-speed rail running through them whatsoever. For the states that do, they almost exclusively are seen in big cities. Though people in cities have limited access to high-speed rail, people in rural areas are completely and entirely neglected. I cannot blame people for choosing to fly as opposed to riding trains when our current system is so terrible. A nonstop flight from Los Angeles to New York is around five hours, but it takes three days to do the same by train, and you still need to change trains in Chicago and Texas.

Many people who oppose high-speed rail in our country argue that the cost is far too much, but I think it is more than worth it. The current estimate for California’s high-speed rail plan is 105 billion dollars, but I prefer that over our planet collapsing due to the effects of climate change while children experience asthma attacks due to horrific traffic clogging their cities. The initial investment is high, but it will pay for itself when it protects the people of our country’s safety, and the fees people pay for public transit also help cover these costs.

I hope you can see why I think that America is in such desperate need of high-speed rail and better public transit in general.

By Junior Indiana Behr

The Transportation Security Administration Theater

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If you know Luke, you know he has opinions. Here, after an uncomfortable episode at the airport, Luke takes on TSA.

By Junior Luke Sonderman

One of the biggest pains of flying is going through TSA (Transportation Security Administration) security. From long lines, to rude officers, to being groped during extensive pat-downs and having to take belts and shoes off, TSA is just no fun. But, how much is TSA really protecting air transportation? Is TSA really trying to sniff out bad guys, or are they just trying to look official to make travelers feel more comfortable?

My Personal Experience with TSA

I’ve never really minded flying. It’s always been pretty enjoyable for me. That was until I had a flight from Palm Springs to San Francisco at 6:30 a.m., all alone. I got to the airport an hour or two early and made my way to the security checkpoint. Everything was normal. I took my shoes off and put my bags up on the conveyor belt. The bags went through with no problem. I walked through the metal detector without having any beeping or metal detection. As I went to grab my bag, a TSA officer asked me to step aside. I went with it because like those dudes have guns. He asked me if I wanted to be searched in front of everyone or in a private room. Now, I’ve had my fair share of security pat-downs at public events and when using public transportation, so I just told him to get it over with. What I didn’t know is that I was about to have an extensive search of every nook and cranny of my body. He started off with the chest, neck, and under the hair. He checked behind my ears and in my arm pits. Now, I thought that this was a bit of a strong search. The guy didn’t have to check behind my ears. I can’t fit a bomb back there anyways. But, then he got to my hip, rear end, then crotch region, and that’s where I had the surprise of a lifetime. I felt groped, harassed, and confused. That man’s fingers went where I very much didn’t want them to go, and I never got an answer for why he searched me. 

What TSA is Actually There For

TSA is commonly referred to as a “security theater.” This basically means that TSA is a security administration put in place to make people feel safe and secure while flying, when in reality they aren’t really keeping you safe from anything. Jason Harrington, a former TSA Agent, says that “Yes, TSA agents are ogling or making fun of your naked physique in the full-body scans. Yes, they are racially and politically profiling certain people for extra screening. Yes, the body scans are ineffective and can be easily manipulated” (theatlantic.com). He went on to say, “It was a job that had me patting down the crotches of children, the elderly and even infants as part of the post-9/11 airport security show” (theatlantic.com).

In 2015, Homeland Security ran a study on TSA and how effective the security checkpoints were. They sent 70 agents through TSA security checkpoints with hidden weapons and fake bombs, and 67 of them made it through security without getting stopped (nbcnews.com).

Now, I’m not here to say that you aren’t safe flying because to be completely honest, TSA works. There has not been a successful large-scale airline attack in the United States since the creation of the TSA. Though what I will say is that if TSA isn’t catching guns and bombs behind my ears… can we please bring larger self-care products and not take our shoes and belts off? Let us just walk through the metal detectors. Please, spare us getting to the airport two hours early and having to spend extra time packing everything in the tiny little 4 oz bottles.  

Cancel Cancel Culture

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thebirdonfire.org bloggers spent the week examining cultures and countries. Luke looks critically at the phenomenon of a social culture.

By Junior Luke Sonderman

What is cancel culture?

In recent years, you may have heard people talk about politicians, actors, social media influencers, and even everyday people in society being “canceled” for something they say, promote, or do. This is the foundation of cancel culture. To be canceled is basically to be cast out of society or from any social group. This may mean being banned from social media, losing employment, or being labeled as someone not fit to function in society. 

Why is cancel culture so prominent today?

Personally, I believe that cancel culture is so prominent because it is the easiest and fastest way to hold someone accountable for their actions while not giving the accused a chance to make their case. In 2019, the 27-year-old Former Editor-in-chief of Teen Vogue Magazine, Alexi McCammond, “parted ways” with her job after an “anti-asian and homophobic” tweet from when she was 17 resurfaced (heritage.org). The platforms advertising was pulled and Vogue had to let go MCammond (heritage.org). One out-of-context tweet from ten years ago can be grounds to fire an employee and cancel someone from society. It is the easiest way for people to ruin someone’s social reputation without giving them a sliver of a chance to salvage it. 

Where does freedom of speech play a role in cancel culture?

Well, it is partially true that in the United States, citizens are free to speak their mind without having interference from the government. But, private organizations like Twitter and Instagram are free to sensor anything they like on their personal platforms. Recently a social media sensation Andrew Tate was permanently banned from Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok for being a “dangerous individual or organization” (variety.com). Andrew Tate’s rise to fame came from his controversial views on gender stereotypes, gender equality, and how he thinks men should treat women. His confident and insouciant demeanor as well as his supercars and money has made him a large appeal to teenage boys who want to live like him. Spreading misogyny and sexist ideas to the next generation is a very dangerous plague, but is it the job of companies like Twitter and Instagram to censor what is on their platform?

“Censorship is telling a man he can’t have a steak just because a baby can’t chew it.”

Mark Twain

It is the job of social media users to make opinions and decide for themselves what is right or wrong, not the job of the platform. Just because there are young teens on social media, companies should not censor and tailor their platform for what they should and shouldn’t be exposed to. 

Why cancel culture is so dangerous?

Although cancel culture does silence some people with dangerous and controversial beliefs, cancel culture can also ruin the lives of people who have made mistakes. We are sending a message to the world that it is not okay to make mistakes and forgiveness is no longer something that is acceptable in society. We are also accepting blatant censorship as an American norm that is right now confined to private companies but is spreading quickly to our education systems and leading us away from a free, democratic nation. 

Politeness is a Waste of Time

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The Bird on Fire staff bloggers are tasked with writing about a cause. Here, Levi opts to go after the glue that holds together our society–politeness and small talk. It nearly goes without saying, the opinions of Levi do not necessarily represent the views of The Bird on Fire.

Blog Advisor Zachik

By Levi Kassinove, Junior

Dear Readers, given the comprehensive, semi-scientific post of last week, I feel you deserve a break. It’s time for a lighthearted post about why polite people are living a lie.

— Levi

Recently, on vacation, my friends and I were walking outside at night in the desert. Without giving too many details so as to not embarrass anyone, there were scorpions roaming around, and we needed a UV light to see them. We did not have a UV light. We walked around nonchalantly, accepting our situation, until a lady walked up to us and offered to let us borrow her UV flashlight. One of my friends fought absolute TOOTH AND NAIL for her to not give it to us. My friend repeatedly told her, “Oh you don’t have to, you really don’t have to,” to which the lady responded, “I insist. You guys are children and you should have fun.” This exchange kept going until I interrupted and said that I would like to use the light to see the scorpions. My friend grimaced and told me that I didn’t know how to handle social interaction. We had a great time looking at the formerly invisible scorpions in the night. We took pictures and gazed in awe at their beauty. Personally, I, along with some other people with us, had never seen scorpions in the wild before. It was a cool opportunity. Anyway, the point is that this would have never happened if my people-pleaser friend had successfully shooed the light-lending lady away. The lady had offered us a UV light that she already owned. She insisted that we try it out. So why fight out of politeness? It harms both parties in this case, since the lady seemed to genuinely want us to have fun. This exchange is an example of one of the many reasons why it is a bad habit to be unnecessarily polite, which is that it can prevent people from taking advantage of opportunities. 

Small talk, on the other hand, is something that we’ve all had to endure throughout our lives. Some live for it. I’d say that they aren’t really living. You can forget having a real human connection with the person if you insist on rhetorically asking how the other person is doing. If one person simply gives the other a real answer, the conversation will switch and both parties will let their guard down. So, I say just skip the small talk. Everyone would find it refreshing, unless they don’t have anything to talk about beyond the weather. The people that prefer to stay engaged in small talk are not interesting, and not worth getting to know any further. That is, if there is anything further to know. 

Perhaps small talk ties into politeness, if enough people feel that it is common courtesy. Ultimately, however, it is an unnecessary and exhausting exchange between people. And, it won’t provide any information of substance to the other person. To be blunt is to be genuine. I would go insane if people were to only engage in small talk. 

Consider this guy Bill who’s asking about the weather, when they are both literally standing outside. Bill has no idea how to respond, as this is a nonsensical question. Be more like Bill. 

englishclassviaskype.com

How to Procrastinate

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By Levi Kassinove

Now that the last final exam has been taken, the last project submitted, it’s safe to share Levi’s TIPS ON HOW TO PROCRASTINATE. Got summer reading? These tips will be handy.

Procrastination is a habit amongst people who either think that they can finish the work in one day, or are genuinely lazy and don’t care about school. The latter is easier to understand; the former seems like an illogical thought pattern. If people can finish the work in one day, why don’t they finish it early so that they have time to relax? As a master procrastinator myself (I waited until the night before every final project this year was due to start and finish them), I can say it’s because we don’t want to. We’re a stubborn group of people who’d rather put off the suffering and forget about it until we are forced to take care of it. Call us lazy, but I say it’s a way of life. Here are 5 steps on how best to procrastinate. 

Step 1: Plan out your procrastination.

Actually forgetting about the homework or project you were assigned is an advanced technique and should therefore not be attempted by beginner procrastinators. The best thing to do is to plan out exactly when and for how long you’re going to procrastinate. A classic example of this thought pattern is, “I’m going to do absolutely nothing for the next three days, and THEN I’ll do my project after dinner at 10 p.m. That should give me enough time.” Forgetting about the assignment is a riskier move, but it does relieve the stress of not doing the homework. If you planned it out, you’d have to have the assignment in the back of your head the whole time. But, as our motto goes, “Stress is a future me problem.”

Step 2: Bargain and make empty promises.

A great way to prolong your procrastination is to make promises with yourself that you know you’ll never keep. These can include telling yourself that you’ll do half the homework today and the rest tomorrow, making a fake schedule for when you plan to do the homework, and promising yourself some ice cream if you get the homework done early. We all know, however, that we’d just end up eating the ice cream and never doing the work. 

Step 3: Find better ways to spend your time.

Whether it’s eating ice cream, watching TikTok, reading (yeah, right), browsing Reddit, or playing video games, we all need to find something better to do than homework. We need to preoccupy ourselves so that we don’t feel guilty or stressed, unless you’re doing the advanced technique of forgetting the homework exists. Distraction is key for procrastination. “I could do my homework right now, but Genshin Impact just got a new update…”

Step 4: Gaslight yourself.

The most effective way to procrastinate is to convince yourself that there is no homework. That way you don’t even have to think about it. To convince yourself that there is no homework, start by asking the question, “How can I trust that I know we have homework?” Or even, “What is homework?” After you convince yourself that there is no homework, it becomes easier to convince others that you have no homework. The lie becomes easier if you believe it as well. “Yes, mother, I also think it’s weird that my teachers haven’t assigned homework in four days!”

Step 5: Do the work.

The time has come. Your assignments are due in three hours. The hardest part of procrastinating is actually doing the work just hours before it is due. Not only are you in a time crunch, but it’s also late at night, so you have the additional disadvantage of being tired. Sometimes I drink coffee and sacrifice sleep that night. The key takeaway here is that if you choose to procrastinate, you have to be absolutely confident in your ability to do large amounts of work in a short amount of time. Otherwise, you pay the price of a terrible grade. 

Luke’s Top 5 MLB Fantasy Picks

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By Luke Sonderman

Although sports like football may capture a lot of the attention in the United States, baseball, in my mind, is the best sport by a long shot as each player plays such a unique role in a game that is very strategic. Every year I research the league leaders for my fantasy baseball team, and this year I have created a list of my favorite baseball players. 

Number One

Nolan Arenado

redbirdrants.com

Nolan Arenado, of the St. Louis Cardinals, has been a star third baseman since his time on the Rockies. So far this year, Nolan has kept up a 0.330 batting average and is one of the league leaders in batting (mlb.com).

Number Two

Manny Machado

eastvillagetimes.com

Manny Machado, also a third baseman, is the star for the San Diego Padres who is stuck in the shadow of Fernando Tatis, Jr., I think that he is incredibly underrated with a batting average of 0.385 so far this season (mlb.com). As Tatis is on the 90-day injured list for a broken wrist, Machado is finally getting the attention that he has deserved. 

Number Three

Shohei Ohtani

cnn.com

I know, I know. Everyone won’t stop talking about Ohtani; I promise you I’m not a bandwagon. But Shohei Ohtani deserves the praise he is receiving as he is not only one of the best pitchers in the MLB, but also one of the best batters as well. It is very rare for pitchers to be strong offensively, but Ohtani is the most well-rounded baseball player in the whole league. With a batting average of .285 this season and an ERA (earned runs average per 9 innings) of 3.08, I believe that Shohei Ohtani is the #1 Fantasy Draft Pick because he is solid in all areas. 

Number Four

Jazz Chisholm, Jr. 

mlb.com

One of my first fantasy picks this year would have to be Jazz Chisholm, Jr., second baseman of the Miami Marlins. I have always loved 2nd basemen because of their crazy agility, and, usually, they are very good baserunners. Jazz Chisholm, Jr., has a batting average so far of .300 (baseball-reference.com) which has been a major boost to the Marlins’ lineup. 

Number Five

Paul Goldschmidt

redbirdrants.com

I didn’t want to put more than one person from a single team onto this list, but I have a special love for the St. Louis Cardinals. I have been surrounded by Cardinals fans my whole life, and I have lots of family in St. Louis. Cardinals fans are just so passionate about the sport which makes them very easy to like. Paul Goldschmidt, the Cardinals first baseman, has been one of the Cardinals’ stars this year, picking up a batting average of .283 (espn.com). Goldschmidt always comes in clutch when the team needs him to and is always scoring points in Fantasy. There are other first basemen ranked higher than him, like Freddie Freeman, but I personally like Goldschmidt as a player more than the others (maybe just because he’s a Cardinal). 

So if you still want to put together a fantasy baseball team, there is plenty of time left in the season. I would definitely recommend you try to snatch these 5 players as they were on my top 5 for the Fantasy draft.