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Top 5 College Majors You Should Reconsider

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By Levi Kassinove

It’s the end of the year. Graduating high-school seniors are signing up for next fall’s college courses, which means they’ve already made some decisions about what discipline they’re going to major in. This is a list of the majors that I think** you shouldn’t go into. Let me explain my reasoning. 

The undergraduate majors in this list aren’t necessarily the most useless ones, just the ones I personally dislike. If I offend anyone, hopefully it’s not someone I know personally. Also, this list is not in any particular order. 

*Levi’s Disclaimer: Do not take my advice seriously. Go into anything you want.

Parks, Recreation, and Leisure Studies

It’s the study of leisure. This is the major for people who want to create summer camps, become a recreational therapist, and design parks. That’s fine, but my question is: Why? Why would you want to spend your time in college learning about recreation, which is something we all take part in regardless of the presence of government-provided recreational services. You could learn about something that actually advances the world. Creating a park designed for maximum leisure isn’t going to stop wars. It’s not going to advance our scientific knowledge. So, it just seems like a waste of time and potential to me. 

Computer Science

Too many CS students only sign up for the money that comes with computer-science-related jobs. Says Michigan Computer-Science Professor Igor Markov, “Based on my recent teaching experience, there are definitely many students signing up for CS majors who aren’t prepared enough and have difficulty getting through foundational material” (Forbes). I say, it’s a fine major, but it’s too popular. We don’t need a million people trying to be computer scientists.

Junior High/Middle School Education

The people who have the patience to teach kids in middle school are a godsend, but it’s not something that I’d do for a million dollars. 

Astronomy

I love looking at the stars, and I’d love to have a nice telescope for astrophotography, but learning about space is something that doesn’t interest me at all. I feel that the secrets of the universe are more easily discovered at the quantum scale rather than astronomical. Also, you won’t become the next Stephen Hawking. Realistically, you’re gonna end up recording data for the rest of your life. You aren’t smart enough to become a theoretical physicist surrounded by giant chalkboards with equations written everywhere. 

Pre-law/Criminal Justice

Too many movies depict lawyers as the most arrogant and pretentious people in the room. They’re right. I participated in Mock Trial once, and some of the “attorneys” were infuriatingly rude. There was one girl who kept cutting me off in the middle of my testimony! She would ask, “Did you see Jamie and Eric arguing at Jamie’s mother’s funeral?” and I would respond, “Yes, but-” and she would cut me off right there. Now, that might just be my anecdotal experience, but according to law gazette.co.uk, the general public views lawyers as “arrogant, disinterested or unapproachable.” And, on top of being viewed as an arrogant lawyer, you may end up defending people that strike against your moral compass. Criminal defense lawyers often have to defend clients against charges of pedophilia, murderer, rape, and other unsavory acts. So, unless you want to be viewed as a narcissist while also having to defend the worst people of society (if you choose to be a criminal defense lawyer), getting into law is a bad idea. 

While these are my least favorite majors, most of them are still useful to the world. But, I ask: How do lawyers deal with the guilt? And, thank you middle-school teachers. Also, I used to love running around the playground and sliding down slides; so, I guess I have Leisure Studies majors to thank for that. If any of these majors are right for you, it’s not my place to say it isn’t. But, I hope I convinced you to re-think that career in law. 

*Our Disclaimer: The opinions expressed by Levi Kassinove are solely his own and not necessarily those of thebirdonfire.org.

Student Led Conferences: Good Educational Practice or … What’s the point?

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By Lilah Nick

Quarter 3 ended on March 11th, and the school year is quickly coming to a close. Thus, Student Led Conferences (SLCs) arrived on April 4th. SLCs are conferences with students, advisors, and parents. The purpose of them is for students to talk about all of their classes with their parents and advisors and then come up with ways for them to improve. But are they really necessary?

Most teachers and parents will argue that SLCs are good because you work together as a team, there is communication and transparency, and it allows the student to be in charge of the conversation. For certain families, there isn’t much communication about grades, so SLCs might be a good idea for them. 

Personally, I don’t really like the SLCs. I have never liked them. You get a script, fill in the blanks, and talk to your parents and advisor about it. I’ve always found that most people fake their way through the scripts and put minimal effort into them. For example, there’s the value question. The script asks, “Which of the PVS values am I exhibiting regularly? How?” In my personal experience and that of my friends, we all fake this question the most. I’ll usually just select the value “Inquiry and Exploration.” I say I exhibit the value regularly in that I “ask questions” and I’m “interested” in my classes. It’s one of the easiest answers that we can just slap on the page.  

My parents are always looking at My Backpack and checking my grades. If I have a low grade, they’ll ask for me to get it up. I don’t find SLCs necessary for me, but for other students whose parents don’t check their grades, it might be.

Let’s ask around: How do you feel about SLCs?

“It’s half an hour of my life wasted.”

Sienna Price, 8th Grade

“I hate SLCs. There is no point to me when I can just talk to my parents on my own.”

Alyna Llapitan, Sophomore

“My mom doesn’t check my grades. So, if that report card comes back with anything other than what I promised, it’s game over.”

Jessica Denyer, Senior

”I always think it’s good when parents, teachers, and students work together as a team.”

Ms. Zachik, Teacher

For better or for worse, Quarter 4 has no SLC. In fact, we have only 27 school days remaining in the 2021-22 year. But, get ready; SLCs return in only six months . . . .

Is Din Tai Fung Overhyped?

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By Lilah Nick, Restaurant Critic 

Din Tai Fung is a Taiwanese restaurant that specializes in Xiao Long Bao and noodles. The restaurant has won multiple awards–like the Michelin star five times (dintaifungusa.com). It is also one of the largest chains in the world with over 170 locations (dintaifungusa.com). Michelin stars are given to restaurants that have very high standards and are exceptionally good. Thus, it’s no surprise it was named one of the top ten best restaurants in the world by the New York Times. Din Tai Fung has recently been popping up on my social media accounts. I came across many different videos of people eating there and saying how good it was. So, in February, I went to the Santa Clara location and got to see what the hype was all about for myself. 

First, I tried the Iced Green Tea with Passion Fruit.

It was amazing…until I took another sip. I was super thirsty and then got this cold tea and was excited. The first sip was super good, and then I took another, and I wanted to spit it out. It just tasted like hand sanitizer. I had my family try it, and they all agreed with me–not yummy. 5/10

Photo Credit: Din Tai Fung

Spicy Chicken Wontons

The chicken wontons were good, but the chicken wasn’t flavorful enough. I could tell it was there, but I couldn’t really taste it. The only real flavor was the spicy sauce. The sauce was good though; it wasn’t too spicy where it overtook the rest of the food. Overall, they were good but pretty bland. 7/10

Photo Credit: Just a taste blog

Spicy Vegetarian Noodles

So far in the meal, these were my favorite. The spicy sauce was the same as the one from the wontons, and it was honestly great. It’s a simple but good dish. 9/10

Photo Credit: Din Tai Fung

Garlic Broccoli

Wow. Just wow. This broccoli was AMAZING. Honestly, my favorite thing I had. I’ll eat broccoli, but it’s not my usual go-to. Din Tai Fung’s had the perfect amount of garlic, and it was also perfectly steamed. I could have eaten the whole bowl. 1000/10

Photo Credit: Din Tai Fung

Chocolate Buns

I had these when I got home, so I have to admit they had been in the fridge for a bit. I microwaved them and then ate them. They were probably 70% bun and the rest was chocolate. They would have been super good if there was more chocolate because I was pretty much eating buns with a little piece of chocolate melted in the middle. 6/10

Photo Credit: Din Tai Fung

Din Tai Fung happens to be one of Ms. Zachik’s favorite restaurants. Her favorite items are the Xiao Long Bao pork buns and the spicy shrimp wontons.

“I dream about their shrimp wontons.”

Ms. Zachik

Ani Madanyan, writer for The Bird on Fire blog, also loves this restaurant.

“Their cucumber salad is the best thing I have ever put in my mouth in my 15 years of living, and their chocolate buns are extraordinary. If you’ve ever been to a Din Tai Fung you will never go back to Panda Express.” 

Ani Madanyan

My mom didn’t think Din Tai Fung was that great either.

“The food was bland and the wait was wayyyy too long. I don’t understand why it is so popular.” 

Ms. Paige Brown

Overall, I think that Din Tai Fung is overhyped. I was so excited and expecting top-tier food that would have been the best meal of my life, and I was kind of let down. There was a huge line to get in, so I thought it was going to be perfect. The food was good. Not very good, just good. It could definitely be better for how popular it is and for receiving a Michelin star. 

How to know if you’re a narcissist (and how to change)

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By Not a Narcissist Levi Kassinove

We all like to believe that we are great people. Very few are self-aware enough to make an effort to improve themselves, except for me of course. Are you confident and comfortable in your own skin or are you just a narcissist? Are you so disconnected from reality that you don’t see the hypocrisy in your article for the school blog? For the people questioning if they are a narcissist or not, the good news is that you’re most likely fine. Real narcissists are “fully aware that they are narcissistic and that they have a narcissistic reputation” (Psychology Today). The truth is that they just don’t see the problem with it, and therefore make no effort to change. But, for the people who think they have some narcissistic tendencies and truly want to improve, I have some genius tips and tricks to share with you. Read carefully because I’m not going to grace you with my wisdom again. 

In order to identify narcissistic tendencies, we should start by looking at a non-narcissist such as myself. Modest people, when questioning if they are narcissistic, usually look online for a reputable-looking quiz to test for narcissism. This shows that the person is concerned about their behavior and wants to improve. A narcissist wouldn’t bother to take the quiz because they think that it doesn’t matter, and that they have nothing to improve. I took a quiz from Psych Central, which sounds reputable enough, and I got an extremely low score on the narcissism scale. When taking the quiz, keep in mind that you should answer the questions honestly, no matter how embarrassing it is to pick the option “I think I am a special person” in front of your friends. It is important to be honest with yourself so that you can do the quiz correctly, as I did. 

Narcissists don’t critically analyze themselves in order to find their flaws. Instead, they focus on critiquing other people while believing that they don’t have any flaws. So ask yourself: Do I often spend my time at the center of attention, looking down on others? Do I care at all about self-improvement? And, perhaps most importantly, do I really care about the well-being of others or do I only offer help so that I can later manipulate them? If you think you have some narcissistic tendencies, it’s best to subscribe to this blog and keep reading my articles. Maybe even comment on something. It’s your only hope of changing your narcissistic ways. 

For people with true Narcissistic Personality Disorder, change is impossible. “You cannot change a person with narcissistic personality disorder or make them happy by loving them enough or by changing yourself to meet their whims and desires. They will never be in tune with you, never empathic to your experiences, and you will always feel empty after an interaction with them,” says Dr. Angela Grace, PhD, MEd, BFA, BEd (Healthline). For the rest of us, and by that I mean the rest of you, the first step to becoming a better person is admitting that you can sometimes be a narcissistic jerk. From there, identify the times when you slip into that attitude and try to catch yourself. The most important thing is knowing the problem and wanting to change. Next time you explain something to someone or a group of people, try not to do it in a condescending way. You’ll find that people will be more friendly around you if you try to listen to their thoughts and feelings. The bottom line, though, is that this all comes down to being self-aware. As long as you’re self-aware, you can stay humble. Like me.

Campaign for the Use of “Dodgy”

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As someone who has lived with a British mother for my entire life, a lot of English phrases are more than familiar to me and I forget they are not commonly used in the States. Personally, I think some of these words from “across the pond” are fun to say, and I hope after reading this some of you integrate them into your daily life. – Jesse Denyer

By Sienna Price

Since I have moved to America, I have noticed I have said many words and phrases people just don’t understand. I have a mix of words and phrases from living in Thailand, England, and New Zealand. At least a couple of times a week, I have to explain what something I said means, and I have found it very annoying. 

One thing that most people use everyday is a hair bobble. Until I moved to America, I just assumed that a hair bobble was called a hair bobble. One of my American friends told me it was a “hair tie.” I have asked at least ten people what they call this (holding up a hair bobble), and they have all responded with “hair tie.” I personally think hair bobble is fun to say, so I continue to say it.

Another word that I love saying (it’s probably my favorite word) is “dodgy.” Every time I say this word, everyone turns around and stares at me. Every time I have to explain what It means. Dodgy is a really popular word in England. All my family members use it, and all my friends in England use it. Dodgy means dishonest or unreliable, potentially dangerous or of low quality. For example, that person looks dodgy. I personally think dodgy should be used more often in America.

When I first moved to New Zealand, I got invited to my friend’s house to swim. The message sent to my Mom was to bring your “togs.” My family had no idea what togs were. Later we found out that it means bathing suit. Another unusual word they use in New Zealand is jandals, which means flip flops. 

Of course there are the commonly known words that get lost in American translation: like we call fries “chips” in England, and what you call chips we call “crisps.” People in America say “cookie,” and in England we say “biscuit.” Americans say check under the “hood”; British say “bonnet.” Americans say the luggage is in the “trunk”; British say “boot.” In England we say “rubbish” or “garbage,” but in America you say “trash.” There are many different words with the same meaning.

My accent is mixed British, American, and Kiwi. Sometimes I say trash; sometimes I say rubbish. It’s hard to pin down my accent. Sometimes I sound very British, and then sometimes . . . I sound American.

Milk: Is it really a healthy drink?

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This week cereal critics Abby Horwitt and Sienna Price branch out and share their opinion on . . . milk. Is milk good for you? Is milk disgusting? And, how many people actually drink milk at PVS?

By Abigail Horwitt, Plain Milk Supporter, and Sienna Price, Plain Milk Attacker 

You’d think we could all agree on something as simple as milk. Surprisingly, many people have adamant opinions about what is milk, what we can call milk (Almond Milk, we’re looking at you), and how good milk tastes.

Abigail says this about Milk:

In my opinion, I love plain milk. I believe that a glass of milk has a great taste, and on top of that is really good for you. According to Healthline, milk has many benefits. It is packed with nutrients; it is a good source of protein, helps strengthen your bones, helps prevent weight gain (healthline). Milk is also an ingredient in many dishes. However, it should be noted: I do not believe in fat free milk. If you really want a good glass of milk, you need to have at least some sort of fat in it. 

Sienna Responds:

Personally, I think that plain milk is disgusting. The only reason I would drink milk is with cereal. Milk has a horrible taste and texture. Why would you want to drink a full glass?! I understand that some people believe that milk is actually good for you, but milk and other dairy products are the top source of saturated fat in the American diet; they contribute to heart disease, type 2 diabetes, and Alzheimer’s (Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine). Studies have also linked dairy to an increased risk of breast, ovarian, and prostate cancers (https://www.pcrm.org/).

We took the discussion of milk to the courtyards and classrooms of Palm Valley. Here is what people had to say about the milky creaminess of Oreo’s favorite companion:

“2% is better.” – Jerry Wang

“I have to drink milk with something. I don’t prefer milk just by itself.”– Alyna Rei

“I drink almond milk.”– Ms. Zachik 

“I hate milk. The smell of it is bad.”– Lilah Nick 

“Milk is just milk, so get chocolate and put it in the milk and then you get chocolate milk.”  – Kayliee Augustine-Sails

“Milk is a nutritious substance and is great for growing teens. It tastes pretty good, but if you have too much it might hurt your stomach.” – Emily Feffer 

“Yesterday, I immediately went home and drank a glass of milk.” – Christina Lam

“I like milk with my special K.” – Levi Kassinove 

“The richer the milk the better.”  – Ms. Castellano 

“You’re taking what is meant to be fed to a baby and drinking it yourself; the idea of it is kind of weird but it’s yummy.” – Tal Maruvada

“Fat free is a scam #wholemilkforlife.” – Jesse Denyer

healthline.com

Raising Canes Is Overrated and You’re Wrong

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Raising Cane’s Chicken Fingers is a fast-food restaurant chain that specializes in chicken fingers. They recently opened at 5601 Ramon Road, in Palm Springs, California. Is Cane’s worth the hype? Is Cane’s even good, other than the fact that it’s blowing up on social media? Luke Sonderman tells us about other fried chicken that is superior to Raising Cane’s. Is Cane’s chicken too bland? Too cold? Not worth it? Well, we’re about to find out thanks to Luke’s straightforward review. —  Editor Ani Madanyan

By Luke Sonderman, Chicken Connoisseur

Fried chicken is a very important piece of American cuisine. Recently, the newest fried chicken sensation has been the glorious fried-chicken sandwich which has spread to fried-chicken joints all over the world, even in our Coachella Valley. 

My favorite fried-chicken place in the Coachella Valley is Dave’s Hot Chicken on Jackson Street in Indio. Dave’s Hot Chicken serves massive chicken tenders and chicken sliders. While ordering, you get to pick your spiciness level from Lite Mild to Reaper (which is so spicy, it requires the consumer to agree to a waiver before ordering). 

Dave’s Hot Chicken hotness waiver

Number 2 on my list would have to be Popeye’s Louisiana Chicken on Varner Road in Palm Desert. I have been eating at this Popeye’s since before I can remember. Popeye’s not only serves tenders and delicious sandwiches but also bone-in chicken, unlike most other fried chicken places in the Coachella Valley. I usually order their spicy-fried-chicken sandwich or their spicy tenders. 

Before I trigger all of the die-hard Cane’s fans, let’s just hate on Kentucky Fried Chicken for a little bit. I have to admit, their bone-in chicken is pretty good. But their popcorn chicken, chicken tenders, and chicken sandwich??? I’d rather eat sand. Their chicken tenders and sandwich are completely dry and have way too much black pepper on them. 

Although we don’t have one in the Coachella Valley (for now), I have to give Chick-Fil-A some appreciation. Chick-Fil-A is by far my favorite fried-chicken joint and fast-food restaurant outside the Coachella Valley. They have the juiciest chicken in their sandwiches and their tenders along with the tastiest buttered buns with two pickle slices. Their waffle-weave fries are so waffley they’re out of this world. On top of that, their milkshakes are the best milkshakes out of every fast-food joint in the United States. They do something to the milkshakes, I don’t know what, but they are so good.

Finally, this one is for all the Raising Cane’s fans out there. YOU’RE WRONG. Raising Cane’s is not even close to the best fried-chicken joint out there. Yeah, their tenders aren’t too bad, but what’s all the hype about? Their menu is super basic, and everything is so plain. They completely copied Del Taco’s crinkle-cut fries, which aren’t even that good to begin with. I went to the newly opened Palm Springs location and waited over an hour in a super-slow drive through just to receive cold chicken, a missing piece of toast, and a lemonade full of melted ice. And, after being open only a month, there has already been a corpse found in front of Raising Cane’s (kesq.com). 

So, if you don’t want plain cold chicken, or if you don’t want to be found dead in the parking lot, you may not want to wait an hour in the drive-through at Raising Cane’s Chicken. Get some Dave’s Hot Chicken instead. 

Armpit-gate

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Hopefully, we all regularly use deodorant for our day-to-day lives. We don’t give much thought to it though, and the reality is that there are questions that need answering. What’s the deal with aluminum? Why are “clean deodorants” better than extra strength? This week, conspiracy theorist Jessica Denyer goes armpit-deep in the world of Big Deodorant to expose their dirty secrets. – Editor Levi Kassinove

By Jessica Denyer

I have a conspiracy theory. The last time you went to buy deodorant you probably noticed that there are a few new brands such as Native or Schmidts who are advertising their “clean” deodorants. The main feature of these deodorants is that they are aluminum free. Popular brands like Secret and Dove are also trying to capitalize on this new clean deodorant market. But what does aluminum free in our deodorants even mean? Is aluminum bad for you? What is the deal with these new deodorants? These are questions I asked. 

Now before I start this, I feel like I have to clarify a confusing fact. Antiperspirant is made to stop you from sweating so much. Deodorant is to make you smell less bad. However, nowadays deodorant companies have antiperspirant in them but still advertise them as deodorants. The antiperspirant part is the part that has the aluminum. (Healthline.com)

After a research dive into the internet, I learned that sweat itself does not have a smell, but when it touches your bacteria-ridden skin it does. When the sweat touches the skin of your armpit, which is a warm dark place, the bacteria on your skin mixes with your sweat to give you that classic armpit funk. This is what deodorant is for. It is meant to deodorize, or really remove bacteria from your armpits, or hide smell. WebMD says, “Deodorants offer two forms of protection against odor. The first is antimicrobial properties that reduce the number of bacteria producing odor. The second is a fragrance that masks odor that is produced” (webmd.com). A common concern is that aluminum in antiperspirant/deodorants can cause breast cancer and other not-so-great things, so many choose to avoid aluminum in antiperspirants. The American Cancer Society says, however, that there is no scientific evidence of the link. (Healthline.com)

This got me thinking. I have always been someone who would buy extra strength or clinical strength deodorant out of fear of smelling bad. I’ve always been an athlete, and we live in the desert heat, so sweating is an understandable fear. I would still find myself having to re-apply multiple times a day to achieve my goal of no smell. I would always think to myself, “Geez, it’s not like I have a sweating problem, imagine the people that do. What would they even use?” 

Fast forward on my conspiracy journey to summer of 2021. I was standing in the deodorant aisle at Target, and I decided to smell the Native deodorant for fun. Native claims to be aluminum free, vegan, and cruelty free. I had no plan to buy one as I figured if the extra strength deodorant doesn’t work, the clean deodorant would do absolutely nothing for me. However, I smelled one of them, and it smelled so good that I decided to buy a travel-sized one. The next day I applied it just in the morning, and throughout the day I could smell only the deodorant. By the end of the day, I realized that the deodorant not only kept the “funk” away, but the smell of the deodorant itself was fragrant and lasted all day long. This inspired more research which leads to my actual conspiracy.

So, if the old regular deodorant doesn’t work, and the clinical/extra-strength deodorant only kind of works, then why all of a sudden does this new clean deodorant do the trick? What do they have figured out that everyone else doesn’t? Or do they…

I began researching ingredients, and Native’s website clearly and plainly states that they use baking soda and magnesium hydroxide to act as the antibacterial (anti-stink) component of their deodorant. These are both extremely common things found in everything from antacids to toothpaste and are harmless to the body. There are only 10 ingredients in their extremely effective deodorant, and all of them are natural (Native). On the flip side, when you go onto the Secret website and go to their line of aluminum-free deodorants, they do not list ingredients, just very blankly state that they are just aluminum free (Secret). This is where my conspiracy was born.

Now, technically I have nothing to back this up, but due to this circumstantial evidence, I am now a firm believer in this claim: I think that big deodorant brands choose to leave out a component (natural or not) that is completely anti-stink so that you have to use their product more often and therefore buy more. I feel like this is not too outlandish of a claim. Where before I was buying a deodorant every 2-3 months, I have now been using the same stick for almost 6 months. 

Believe me or don’t, but either way I recommend switching to any deodorant that is aluminum free. 

Drop a comment if you’re with me here.

Oreos: The Wonder-Filled Cookies

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This week Ani Madanyan gives us her ratings on the well-known cookies, Oreos. Oreos come in more variations than most of us can identify. She tells us which of these Oreo cookies are the best and which ones to avoid. – Editor Abigail Horwitt

By Chef Ani

Oreos are the best snack. Either dip them in milk, or eat a whole family pack alone by yourself. Either way, they’re delicious. But, which flavor is the best? All of them are extremely tasty, but today we’ll find one that stands out. Don’t get offended, these are my opinions, and if you disagree over this very important issue, talk about it in the comments. After writing this blog, I ate 17 Oreos…. needless to say, talking about Oreos makes you hungry for Oreos.

The Original Oreo

I can eat a whole family pack of these. They’re so light and packed with flavor. I personally love these so much, and I would say that you could never get tired of them. Either dip them in milk, or if you’re lactose-intolerant like me, just eat them plain.

Overall, I give original Oreos a 9.5/10.

The Golden Oreo

These are super tasty as well. Instead of a chocolate cookie, it tastes almost like a graham cracker/sugar cookie. I wouldn’t say these are my favorite. They’re too sweet, but sometimes I go through a Golden Oreo phase where I eat 20 of them in one sitting.

Overall, I give Golden Oreos a 7/10.


Dark Chocolate Oreos

These are my least favorite Oreo cookies. I personally hate dark chocolate because it’s too bitter. The dark chocolate with the chocolate cookie is way too much chocolate, and it’s also way too bitter. This cookie deserves to be locked up in prison. It tastes bland and bitter, and not even milk can fix it.

Overall, 3/10.

Oreo Cakesters

These are the BEST Oreos ever. They are more like cake than cookie, but they are so fluffy, and they taste like cookies-and-cream milkshake. This is the best Oreo ever invented. This is definitely my favorite.

Overall, I give Oreo Cakesters a 10/10.

These are just a few of the flavors. Out of all flavors, I would still pick the Oreo Cakesters. They’re soft and delicious. These cookies are HEAVEN. Although the Original Oreos and the Oreo Cakesters were almost a tie, I had to go with the fluffy Oreo masterpiece–Oreo Cakesters. Oreo Cakesters were discontinued for TEN YEARS, but, thankfully, they are back in 2022. That’s how we know it’s going to be a good year!

Why I Think Special K is a Great Cereal (and why no one else’s opinion is valid)

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Cereal is a very special part of American culture. It is, in fact, a subject hotly debated by the blog staff. Two weeks ago, Cereal Enthusiast Abigail Horwitt listed her top cereals. Blogger Levi Kassinove takes issue with her selection and its glaring omission: Special K. 

By Levi Kassinove, Cereal Connoisseur

Special K is an American brand of breakfast cereal that’s manufactured by Kellog’s. Its ingredients include rice (47%), wholewheat (37%), sugar, barley (5%), malted barley flour, salt, and a few other random chemicals (Kellog’s). According to Abby Walthausen for Yahoo News, “The original Special K was the culmination of a lifelong goal of W.K. Kellogg. . . . It was to be his uber cornflakes but the final recipe, with enough protein, vitamins, and minerals to survive by, was not complete until 1955, four years after Kellogg’s death.” Today, Kellogg’s advertises their cereal as low-fat, as a cereal that helps people lose weight. One person on Quora vouched for this cereal, saying that “it’s not a miracle food, but it’s healthy enough” (Quora). I will tell you right now that while this may be true for the original variation, the other subspecies of Special K are not healthy. I’m talking about the Special K Brown Sugar Cinnamon cereal, the Special K Red Berries cereal, and the Special K Chocolatey Delight Chocolatey cereal (All Cereal Varieties). Unfortunately, contrary to these deliciously unhealthy cereal names, the label of a “diet cereal” often connotes that it has a terrible flavor. With Special K, only the people who are open minded enough to try this diet cereal, with no preconceived notions, will have their eyes opened to the possibilities of Special K. The cereal has evolved since its introduction in the 1950s into a hidden gem of a breakfast. 

I can go on and on about WHY this cereal is so good. No, really, I will. In their “Red Berries” genre, the strawberries are masterfully freeze-dried. The strawberries, along with the other red berries I have yet to identify, get masterfully rehydrated upon contact with milk. Let me show you a picture of this cereal. Maybe it will be the catalyst for expanding that splinter in your mind–the one that’s saying you shouldn’t be such a picky cereal eater. 

I’d say that anyone (Jesse Denyer) who can’t get past the idea that this cereal is “only for old people” is just a drone who chooses to live in utter ignorance. In 2009, 75% of Americans said that they stay away from diet-friendly cereal because they think it’ll taste bad. Did I make up that statistic? Yes. Just give it a chance! Eat the cereal. 

*Disclaimer: The opinions of Levi are his own and do not represent the opinions of thebirdonfire.org; nor can we vouch for his statistics.